Sup Forums has ruined my life

Sup Forums has ruined my life.

>be me
>two weeks ago
>at the bar playing darts
>pretty drunk
>3/10 fat trap bitch walks up with fagtard friend
>in deepest voice I've ever heard she requests next game
>"well clearly you don't have a feminine penis"
>they both stare at me
>"wtf did you just say to me"
>I asked, "well, do you have a feminine penis or not?"
>her friend steps in
>200% gayest voice I've ever heard
>"faggot detected"
>he tries to sucker punch me but misses
>I scream, "YOU DUN GOOFED"
>punch him right in the jaw
>he's laying on ground bleeding
>girl runs off to get bartender
>crowd gathering
>girl is crying hate crime
>starts telling everybody what I said
>bartender comes over
>"check 'em, faggot"
>bartender gets pissed
>calls me a homophobe and demands I leave now
>"what the fuck did you just say about me you little bitch?"
>"I'll have you know I graduated top..."
>bartender pops me in the mouth
>grabs me by the neck and drags me towards the door
>get outside
>crowd has followed
>cops already there
>cops ask my name
>"Pepe. Rare Pepe"
>they look confused and annoyed
>I repeat it
>"Son, what are you on right now?"
>I reply, "dank memes, sir"
>cops misheard, think I said dank weed
>immediately get slammed to ground by cops
>they're going on about how I'm drunk and high in public and starting fights
>"I said dank memes, fucking newfags"
>cop punches me in the back of the head
>wake up hours later in a jail cell
>list of charges include inciting a riot, hate crimes against members of the LGBTQ community, public drunkeness, and assaulting a police officer.

I'm still waiting on my court date. How bad did I fuck up, Sup Forums?

The Sup Forums defense? Its almost like pleading insanity so your odds are not good, consider a plea.

Autism: the story

2/10 tier: newfag

Made me Kek good job

Newfag spotted

This is copypasta

Op is a dumbass who deserves everything that happened to him.

OP's phants are on fire

>This is copypasta

No it's not. This is original content and 100% truthful. If you don't believe me, then fuck off.

this

this

...

fucking retard

...

...

When you show up to court, make sure your pockets are overflowing with spaghetti, then plead insanity.

This will work, trust me, i did it before.

If that story's true, it's not Sup Forums's fault if you can't separate your internet life and your real life.

This

>Things that never happened: the post

This

Good greentext. Part of me wishes it was real

Well,you can't say that court-sentence isn't...a trap

I'm asking myself
How much of a neet do you have to be to reach such levels of autism?

Not this

>Using memes irl

lol top kek ultra dank give this man a banana

It is real.

fuck off newfag, the most fake story i've heard.

Holy fuck, I think I was there that night. Were you the guy sitting at the bar earlier in the day screaming "itty bitty baby" and "habeeb it" over and over?

is that your face tho, if it is, why you no into porno

Did You Know?

Only newfags call other people newfags.

I am into porno. I watch it everyday.

shut the fuck up you retarded piece of shit

i mean, why you're not acting in porno

or what if newfag(me) is just an elder who hasn't been on Sup Forums in long time.

Kek

This story either happens all the time or this fucking NEW FAG thinks we're all as stupid as he is. Kill urself.

>said the newfag

have you talked to a lawyer yet OP?

WHO

IS

THIS

4

CHAN
.
gif

he has the sexy boi face tho.

OP you autistic faggot

If you actually said any of that, you're a cringey asshat who deserves to be raped in prison, luckily for you, this is just copypasta.

He's a newfag because he doesn't spend every waking hour on Sup Forums so he missed it being posted? GTFO of here, newfag.

Shut up faggot. Just because your dad fucked you in the ass your entire childhood doesn't mean you should be so salty to everybody else.

Not yet. They're going to give me a public defender if I don't lawyer up soon.

>who hasn't been on Sup Forums in long time.

Then yer still a newfag.

>public defender

LoL, you're so screwed

I know, right? I don't know what I'm going to do. I've been talking to a guy who claims to be a lawyer, but said he primarily only works in bird law, so I'm not sure if he can help me out or not.

Might start a gofundme to raise funds for a really good lawyer. Like an OJ lawyer.

I doubt anyone will fund you for a lawyer if they know what it is for. Do some research online about your states laws on this matter. You will likely get the charge for inciting a riot dropped. Make a point of bringing up how drunk you were and that it was never your intent.

ITT: newfags fall for a copy pasta almost as old as their time on Sup Forums. Have fun with your autism

im fucking elder you cuck

It's OK. You can stop trying too hard to make it look like you've been here a long time. Your newfagness is showing badly and this is just getting cringeworthy.

said the newfag

I can almost smell your autism from here. I thought trolls were supposed to be funny

I thought newfags who call others newfags were supposed to be funny

OK kid, have fun in your supa sekrit klub, Sup Forums. Now go back to posting on facebook how you are a "member" of anonymous like a good girl

Are you really that retarded that you're actually taking this seriously? For fuck's sake dude

If you.re in America, you'll likely be fine, since the fag hit you first and you were acting in self defense.
Might even try to countersue the bartender and the policemen for assault.

Good way to start a cringe thread.

Wtf is a troll?

I bet you don't have a lot of friends irl, but you'll reply to this telling me how wrong I am and how popular you are because you're cool and an intellect.

I don't need to prove anything, unlike you, I'm secure enough in that I don't have to act retarded on an anonymous forum. Now come on, time for bed

I'm the fucking leader of anonymous, you twat. And now you've thoroughly pissed me off. I wasn't even that close to edge, and yet your miserable dribble has actually managed to push me off. You hear that? To the end of the line. THE BREAKING POINT. Normally I dismiss this kind of shit without a second though, but you've crossed a certain boundary you fucking faggot. And you should have known better, you should have realized what could happen if you took your joke a little too far. But you failed, and now will await the reprocussions. Fuck I haven't even gotten my hacking laptop out in years, I think that shit is still running some pirated version of XP. But it's time to brush the dust off and set an example, because clearly faggots like you are too young to know what can really happen when you mess with the likes of our group. I hope you're ready for what's in store, because mommy won't be able to save you this time. Best you pack your bags and flee now, flee to whatever remote shit hole you can hide to. And you better pray I won't find you. But we will, and when that day comes you will rue the day you made what was seemingly a harmless comment on an anonymous message board. The clock's ticking, pal. Tick tock. Your time is about to run out

Everything wen't according to plan =)

*repercussions

>In other news, The Deep Web Underground Hacker Collective known as Sup Forums has issued yet another Blog post, supposedly including OC.

Top kek

Sounds like something an autistic, no-friend fuck would say. Now come on little girl, time for bed. Hurr durr 1m gone 2 belittle u bcuz i'M so kewl.

Uh-huh. Have fun, kid

I like how you're so autistic that you can't even wrap your brain around your own autism.

you are both fucking faggots, holy shit.

Jesus christ you faggots are a fucking embarrassment. It's like I'm reading the text equivalent of two 11 year olds screaming at each other in a Call of Duty postgame lobby

did I just trigger 3 way convo newfag claiming im newfag

Faggot

whats call of duty?

Mootle's Milk (available at WFM)

nice jaw

Kek this is one of my favorite pastas. Haven't seen it in a while.

game for kids who think they fuck moms

Is it like a sex game? Those are hot sometimes.

Hi, I am OP. This was actually my OC many months ago. Some fat chick was next to me at a bar and I heard her talk and realized she wasn't an ugly little fat troll girl, but instead an ugly little fat troll dude trying to pretend to be a girl. I immediately thought about her penis and whether or not it would be feminine or fat gross and ugly. That then triggered this whole line of thoughts in my head about Sup Forums, so I came home and typed it up.

I posted it again today, because I haven't seen it in awhile. Some people get a lol out of it, some hate the autism surrounding it. Oh well.

but this

>I immediately thought about her penis

it's all okay now, we love you

Yea? So what? You never thought about a chicks penis? What are you, a faggot?

i enjoyed it.

Pretty entertaining, well done.

Good. Am glad.

Always works. I regualy use this

no it's a shitty fps, where kids shout through mics saying they will fuck ur mom

I thought it was an autism simulator. I learn things every day.