Nursefag here...

Nursefag here. Last night I had to insert my fingers into the rectum of a 65 y/o woman to remove fecal balls that had hardened and prevented her from shiting. This is call disimpacting. This is one of the many fun things I do for money. How bad is your job.

I've heard this before from other nurses. Apparently it's given to people who are new? Someone said that their first task ever was to scoop out poop from some old dude who hadn't shit in forever then he just sat there shitting, crying, and thanking her for saving her life.

You fuckers don't get paid enough.

>Was gonna say 'that's why they pay you the big bux'
>Notice nursefag instead of doctor fag
>JUST

For one and a half year I worked in an enterprise where I cleaned dead people remains, sometimes people were dead for 1 month till someone noticed them

Meanwhile youtubers who act like spastics get paid millions, live in mansions and buy Ferraris.

I got shit on my arm. The bitch absolutely didn't thank me. This bitch had a softball size fecal ball inside her. I had to break it up and scoop it out one finger scoop at a time. By the end I wasn't even using lube - the blood and shit was making everything slick.

Ew.

Nurses = Shit handlers.

I'm in an unpaid internship cleaning asbestos out of Brandon buildings. My friends call me the cancer janitor.

Sounds like you just pursued the wrong job then

"wah wah wah its so unfair that people who do things people will pay them to do are making money off of it"

...

There's one nigger in my company.
Sometimes I have to work with him

I'm an artist. Just got paid 10k for a mural. Feels good mane.

I used to work at Walmart

Oh my god. I'm so sorry. I'd rather dig shit out of an old lady's ass.

I work in a level 1 trauma center in Newark, Nigger Jersey as a nurse and the doctor is the only one who is allowed to disimpact.

You're just a scatfag in scrubs

why not have professional dis-impactors? Make it a lower paid position that requires less education? No wonder medical care is so expensive.

Do you know how unhappy pewdiepie is? I don't watch his dumbfuck videos but you can take one look in his eye and see that he is sick as hell of his life. He's knows he has to keep doing it because one day it's not going to be magically cute anymore and he'll have nothing except the money he's saved.

Granted it's more than he ought to be paid in a just world but I would legitimately be surprised if he manages to hold on to any of it.

The people you really ought to hate for making ludicrous amounts of money without earning it are in finance.

why didn't you use an enema?

;)

maybe he could cheer himself up by feeding half of africa and still being a millionaire afterwards. he won't.

Niggers complain about work. Do you realize as long as you work for someone else you are always a slave and your work is always going to suck no matter which profession it is?

Stop complaining, get those genius thoughts together and do something what doesn't require any of that. System is designed slavery in mind so it is hard to escape this fact.

How many people in a city do you think need shit scooped out of them every day in a city?

That seems fair honestly. It probably a good amount of time and resources, and will make the surrounding area slightly better for lots of people for a good time.

Reminds me of the time the hot italian doctor went bopping for apples with her long slender finders when my appendix was due.
i think my wife noticed that i enjoyed that a bit too much...

My job is great. I get to travel, get free food and hotels, get to talk to people all day in a position of authority, get to be positive about problems, get unlimited use of a company car, great insurance and benefits, and the pay is fair considering I have only a B.S. in microbiology. I don't even have to sell anything to anybody; I just do quality control and consulting, and we keep picking up new clients so there's never a shortage of work. I even get paid for extra work even though it's a salaried position.

so this thread as sent me on a quest to learn all abut impaction. What a terrible thing. I did not know it was so common.

thankfully my diet is very watery and fiber rich, so I will never get this problem, I hope.

From my research, I've learned that it is vitally important to get constipation problems solved as quickly as possible. do not let it turn into an impaction.

Did you get hard!?

Hospital Security here.

I've had to hold down my lunch after being tasked with watching over the homeless quite a few times. Been spit on wrestled a syringe out of a few hands and been kicked in the balls by an old man.

I feel your pain

LOL

Lots of old people refuse to do anything about being constipated; especially if they're on opiates. They won't ask for help until it becomes a true emergency.

It must feel great servicing lazy niggers on Obamacare. Knowing that all the work you do just goes to taxes to pay for their lifestyle.

He organized many charity events and gave milions for people in need just so you know

Not OP, but also nursefag.
An enema helps with severe constipation, but they don't work on an impaction because the shit brick is physically impossible to push out. Plus, when you go to insert the enema tube you'll find the entrance blocked by a solid wall of fecal matter.

Yeah, but, you've never had to use a comma.

Wat.
Appendix has nothing to do with fecal impaction.

And lots of other old people are OBSESSED with their bowel movements.

Well they pay me $17/hour to handle motherfuckers.

Grammar is optional

>This is call disimpacting
I really didn't need to know this was a thing

I'm a butcher and a beekeeper, Butchering is good but beekeeping has badass money through pollination contracts it involves 72 hours weekends of getting the fuck stung out of you the whole time. Totally worth it though I could retire pretty much right now at 33

I came

I don't work; I'm mentally retarded.

>>Sup Forums

no it's more of a dissapointing shame that these masses are ignorant of but get pissy when you open your justified mouth to belittle them

I like you good sir

*CNA
ftfy

Fuck this shit i wrote this shot for another thread ( what it is like to fuck a wound ) but it was deleted, so i copy paste it here cause i saw nurse shit

have a story about this who happened to a friend. Sorry for bad english, frenchfag here, i understand english perfectly but speak it like a fucking retarded 4 years old, dont know why


I have a friend who is a nurse.
A patient faggot in the hospital had to be operate at the anus. The doctors had to make leave his intestine by its belly to be able to operate the anus. So technicly He had to shit by his belly in a bag. A few days after the operation my friend enters the room of the patient, and she sees the boyfriend of the patient fucking him in the hole of his belly. Shit was spreading all over the room
these fucking faggots...

>faggot coming in the room
>''oh darling faggot how are you? How was the operation? How do you feel?''
>''oh my... what is that? A new hole? In the belly?''
>best idea ever
>''i should fuck

With a filter mask on, and a standard painters jumpsuit, hairnet, gloves, etc. you should be all right. Just don't breath it in.

I went from BSN to the field in an OR and never had to do that shit (pun sooo intended) .
Try working where the Pts are already prepped and then knocked the fuck out.

>pollinating and beekeeping and shit
tell me more. Just how much do you get and what exactly are you doing?

Do you use coke from the can? You can use coke from the can to dissolve the shitbrick. pour coke into ass and the gasbubbles dissolve the shit. it's great!

I move beehives into orchards and such for pollination. I make about 8k for moving 50 hives in a night into a place. On average, and the industry is falling because there's hardly anyone going into beekeeping and it's a wide open field. Literally no one is wanting to become a beekeeper pretty much. I love it though even as painful as it is. I pay a couple guys 500 bucks a night to come and help just lifting and moving hives so they make good money as well. There's a lot of hard work though, hives aren't light and it's not delicate work. I make a livable income off the pollination contracts alone so honey and all that is just extra moneys

What do you have against protective clothing to prevent getting stung at all? Dumb shit.

I don't think so, Tim.

someone find the me manga about the girls dying from having giant round shit rocks that they cant crap out.

I'm sure he's got the suit, but it won't stop every sting. Bees are persistent little fuckers, and when you've got all day to get stung, a few will get through. I've heard of them chewing through the netting on the hat.

Also, I'm sure a handful will be stuck to you when you go to take it off.

Lol good point

>How bad is your job?
"Corporate Securities Consultant"
-At least 5 times a month people shoot at me
+I get to shoot back.
-Spend half my time away from home.
+Get to visit interesting places.
-Have to deal with lots of Arabs and Africans
+Pay is great.
-Have to kill people sometimes.
+Get to kill people sometimes.

Only half of Africa? That's super unfair to the other half! That's why I don't give money to charities. If you can't help everyone, it's unfair to those you don't help, so why bother helping? If you can't help everyone, don't help anyone.

Im a sterilization assistant in a hospital,i clean the surgical tools.

Yes I wear a suit when moving hives, they aren't bee proof..... they find a way, after a few uses they find 10 different ways. Suits are bee repellent no bee proof. And once one bee finds a way trust me they ALL find a way. The worst is when you're driving the truck home and all a sudden bees come out of nowhere. Last time I moved hives though a cop pulled me over for a missing trailer light lol basically as soon as the cop was swarmed with bees (the ride on the outside of the hive if their entrace is covered) the cop freaked

Were you in the military before this job?

>making ludicrous amounts of money without earning it are in finance
>what is savings
>what is investment
Wall Street and the financial sector contribute far more to the economic development of modern society than the entertainment sector does. Without the finance sector businesses wouldn't be able to take out loans to expand their operations, companies couldn't issue bonds or stocks to raise funds to invest in new factories or workers, home buyers wouldn't be able to take out mortgages to buy a house, and college students wouldn't be able to take out student loans. And that's only the beginning. B and investment traders already pay hundreds of billions in taxes every year. All the hatred people have for the financial sector today is totally unfounded.
>inb4 financial crisis caused by criminal activities by Wall Street
None of the causes of the financial crisis were illegal. It was all completely legal. The financial crisis happened because government regulators failed to anticipate that the the subprime mortgage crisis would trigger a liquidity trap and didn't take the necessary policy actions until it was too late.

O I'm glad you mentioned that though that never has been a single thought in my head.... however during times of honey collection and stuff outside of moving hives I can do work with no protection whatsoever. It's weird when you get used to it but you can remove a frame and have hundreds of bees around you face and as long as you don't freak out they are completely chill , about you. New people get stung and they don't even fuck with me, they get used to you and your smell and you don't have the rising blood pressure and adrenaline

Nope. SWAT in Chicago.

Mental health nurse here.

Had to clean a 6m by 6m room smothered head to toe in shit at 7:30 in the morning only to put they guy back in the room for him to start shitting everywhere again (whilst also eating it.)

Love life.

Pics or greentext? Shit's interesting

How did you get started?

I answer questions for tourists and tell them where they can eat breakfast about 50 times a day.

>Consultant in big big company
>think it's gonna be gud
>All I do is test for IT shit ass software
>Took me one year to manage to change mission
>It's OK at best
> mission is over
>they litteraly give me nothing to do
>they forgot me for 4 months
>at the end I didn't even bother going to work
>paid to do nothing, vidya at most
>could have done it longer but bored, quit
>the day I quit they call me to Join a New mission

FUCK YOU ASSHOLES

>also
>changed me from my division to a shit ass division along with 700 other idiots
>which will eventually be paid less
>nobody complains

...

Actually it was the classical tale of an apprentice, I've thought of writing a book because this doesn't really happen anymore. My old scout master asked me for help one day moving stuff and he realized I was fascinated by everything and it evolved from there, every year I obtained more and more stuff and though he's not dead yet I now have reign over everything he owned for the business. He has two sons which hate me because you can actually sell what I have for a decent sum but yeah.... Honey processing equipment if expensive which he gave up on because of age and by that I mean he's 55.... it's hard work but I could retire pretty much now

Why would you eat breakfast that many times?

Where did you find a beekeeper to apprentice under?

Sorry, I tell about 50 tourists.

>Being this stupid

I'm a CNA in an elderly care facility...I feel your pain.

kek

No one cares. You chose to do it, you do it. Don't like it, do something else.

Nukefag
I broke an isolation valve in an 1800 pound primary system, causing about 50 gallons of semi-radioactive water to shit into our bilge.
I worked 60ish hours in a row after that, between the cleanup, decon, valve replacement, and hydrostatic pressure testing.

>those skin burns
being albino in africa must suck

...

Why not use a wetsuit ? Its wide enough to avoid getting stung, you just have to find something for your head and it's ok !

I am a programmer in the netherlands, can litterally just sit back and get the job offers thrown at me

being black in africa, or anywhere else, must suck

Do you know how hot it gets in wetsuit? The fucking things don't breathe, he'd be dead in an half an hour from dehydration and heat stroke

you coulda drunk that water that leaked out. the bilge was nastier.

Nah, it's basic to the point where it would give you the shits if you drank it.
I won't argue our bilges are nasty as fuck though, I've pissed in drain funnels before.

...

secondary will give you the shits, idiot. I can confirm that you can chug a 250ml sample bottle and not come close to shitting yourself.

when was the last tiem you tested a man for gonareah(sp)?
>i enjoy a woman's touch, though.

i used a beesuit while moving 50 hives in 95 degree weather . No joke it makes things 20 degrees hotter. The more resistant it is to bee the more resistant it is to air. I used the suit for loading up my trailer until it got to the point when I was shivering cold. Enjoy your apples

Yeah they do, 60-80k if memory serves

seconded. but cool story anyway

What do you do?

wat

Assistant Judo Instructor
>Kids can get quite annoying at times
>On my second day I was asked to control most of a class of about 30 kids
>As I started controlling some of them others started doing their own shit
>At one point find that a group of them have tied another kid up with their belts
>This one kid has aspergers and is always getting into confrontations with other kids (off the matt)
>This one time this girl beat him and he made a comment about her weight in front of the whole class
>However most of the time he's okay and now that I have more experience I can control the class easily
>Me and the other assistant Judo instructor also have to have a match most days because it entertains the children and I enjoy that
Overall it's a nice job

Also I know pic

what the fuck? you dont even get paid?

Who is this girl? Why am I scared of her but also really like the way she looks?

Ignore the last sentence I was going to post another pic but chose this one instead.