Why should(n't) I kill myself B?

Why should(n't) I kill myself B?
Pros:
Half jew
literally autistic
loads of mental truma from abusive childhood
already flunked out of college once, i wanna do better this time but have absolutely no work ethic to do so
my favorite game series is pokemon and i kind of hate myself for it because i love it so much
Semi-closeted bisexual, just another reason to die fam
cons:
21, can finally start drinking myself to death slower
all of my teachers have always marked me as the smartest in the room, but it just makes me feel pressured
my maybe 5 friends in existence might give a fuck
my 5 younger siblings and mom would care, dad wont though hes been dead for the last decade

help me b

post: my friend for the night

Grow up, faggot. There is no reason to kill yourself. All you need to do is find a way to fix your few problems.

exactly how many times a day do you find yourself in a cold sweat remembering your dad breaking your moms back with a chair in fromt of your own eyes. i am not well

boo fucking hoo. You're not the first to have had a rough childhood and you certainly won't be the last.

The world doesn't owe you shit. It can be a tough place to live and life isn't always easy. The only person who gives a shit about you is you. Everyone else has their own shit to deal with.

Stop being a pussy, grow the fuck up, deal with your shit and live your life. Who knows, maybe you can even help someone else out who had it rough like you.

but the thing is i dont give a shit about me, since when was b this caring ive been a regular since i was 13

then off yourself

probably after i finish this 40 yeah

This is the only real talk your gonna get op and you need it. Your responsible for yourself so get some help and fix your life like a functioning adult.

This may sound harsh but really the brutal truth is what you need to face.

fuck off tryhard autist

life has little value, especially if you live in such shithole like this planet.

I honestly dont feel im worth the resources though. i feel like im just a waste of time and effort for any dr i could go care to see. i know others have had it worse, but that doesnt lessen the pain in my soul for my psychopath brother and my own miserable existence. I honestly dont know what to do.

You think you're going someplace better when u die?

Not really, just somewhere quieter and without as much tension and strife. the things i hear and see every day, it kills me. the constant memories od my childhood everytime i try to lessen my pot use. every time i hear news of my little brother hes doing worse and worse things. selling pills, making a teenage girl take the fall for his high school weed operation. it fucking kills me. that kid used to kill small animals and i kind of dont wanna be around when my family name is synonymous with a serial killer

The truth is that currently you arent worth the resources but if you use them to become better and become a functioning member of society then you will have been a good use of resources

If you move then you can have a fresh start

So either be a leech and maybe succeed or finish it now? honestly a tough call. ive spent ages seeing drs this summer cause i had a bad tonsil infection and finally had them removed. not a single one could tell me where a shrink in the area for my problems could be located.

>half jew
>bisexual
>i dont try hard enough

Bruh youre a puss, you wanna kill yourself because of shit Sup Forums doesnt accept. And if you dont wanna work then thats on u, lilbitch stop being weak

Where would you suggest, im in the middle of nowhere, Ohio at the moment

That's some mild stuff. Let's be real here, your traumatic childhood is just an excuse because you're a lazy piece of shit oxygen thief.

You feel bad because you know you're a waste and will contribute fuck all to anyone so you sit around smoking pot blaming other people and their issues.

Your childhood and brother and dad and all that bullshit ain't the issue. You're the issue. Take some responsibility, be a man, grow the fuck up and deal with your shit or kill yourself if your too much of a pussy to 'live with the guilt of being a piece of shit'.

Assuming you have private healthcare I dont see how you're being a leech because you are paying for the resources. If you want my advice the soonest you are free just go to the doctor and tell him, dont think about it just do it. It sounds hard and it is kinda hard butvI had to do it and I dont regret it. Plus if nothing goes well and the worst possible things happen then you were going to kill yourself anyway so it doesnt matter anymore.

Move to a city or someplace thats radically different from your environment trust me op it will feel like your living a new life

No, I have Medicaid, my entire familybhas always been on medicaid and only recently not on food stamps, and i feel leechy about it.

where have you been and felt a welcoming atmosphere user? i need to go somewhere cold and where i can not give a solid fuck about what anybody surrounding me thinks

Who cares the whole point of medicare is to help disadvantaged people just take the opportunity and work like hell to become sucessful, if you still feel like a leech then donate to charity or back to medicaid

Trust me op its clear ypu jave depression and there are so many therepists that are specialized in. Depression is garanteed to be covered.

If you need to go somewhere cold and peacefu lthen I suggest moving to a small town or getting a property in the northern states near the canadian border so most likely north east coast or washington state id say are your best bets

Come on down to cincinnati. It is a lively city and still close

im near the end of my drink, and hadn't thought of that. i still dont know what to think but ill screenshot this and reread it for clarity. i just dont know though, whatbkind of shrink would even deal with a depressed, ptsd afflicted aspbergers patient? i havent even seen a shrink since the totally unuseful grief counseling i had when i was 14, and as soon as i told my mom i might be asbergers she had me stop seeing her