Guys got any good greentext?

Guys got any good greentext?

...

Not op.
Holy shit.

BUMP

Bump for moar greentext.

There was an incest one a couple of days ago.

>be me
>biking for fun
>bike far away from neighborhood
>bowels sent the signal that I'm about to visit Shitgri-la
>decide i need to empty the brown stone causing a blockage in my stomach
>go behind someone's backyard next to the road
>bushes near the road block the view
>put bike down
>wait for lady and her daughter to pass
>squat and take a shit faster than a nigger who wants KFC
>wipe with leaves and leave
>comeback next week and discover maggots coming out and eating it
>I'm such a good host for flies and they thanked me

dude nice goin

I *might* post some OC in like 15-20 minutes. if there will be anybody to read it of course and if you bump until I come back from dinner

sounds like fun

>be me

Fascinating

here's a fresh one OP, enjoy

>good

Bump

Is this good enough Boss?

>Be me.
>At 5.
>Hyperactive lil' shit.
>Goes with dad eat some dope ass pizza.
>feelsgood.jpg
>Pizza is delicious.
>Too delicious.
>Start talking with pizza guys.
>Pizza guys gimme me free pizza slices.
>satisfaction.jpg
>We eat a shitton of pizza that day.
>Finish pizza time with pizza mass all over my hand.
>Time to go out.
>perfectday.jpg
>in the way of exiting the pizzaria, accidentally step on broken wooden plank that leads to pizzaria cesspool.
>OHSIT.jpg
>Starts swimming on cesspool, while crying and vomiting on myself.
>10 mins there.
>Go back home.
>Take the longest shower.
>Retire.

...

ok, you did well. I shall post my story. it has feels. it has rekt. even sum other flavors. may take a bit before it gets better, but you shall not be dissapointed. tell me whether to cont or not

>be me
>22 yo
>travel by hitchhikinng quite a lot
>liek 30 000 km in six years
>want to go to Mongolia
>badly
>tried it year before, but realized too late how long does it take to get all the visas
>this year be prepared
>plan is made
>everything is gathered and acquired
>even a girl
>that's right
>found her on some local site gathering travellers
>btw we're polish
>we talk a lot, get to know each other a bit
>she's cool and can keep her shit together
>which is vital ten thousand kilometers from home when shit hits the fan
>we start by the end of june
>nope.jpg
>april comes
>she was quiet lately
>I write to her
>makes one of the shitties excuses ever made
>whyitalwaysendsthisway.exe
>fine bitch, I'll go alone

>thenallofasudden.gif
>I follow one hot hoe to some party
>in student house
>art faculty
>we sit outside by the fire
>apparently news spread quickly
>I hear some drunken female voice from away
>"heeey, so you go to Mongolia"
>am also drunk
>which is rare, but I'll elaborate later
>"yeah"
>"take me with you"
>"sure"
>I come to her
>we speak a lot
>turns out I have friends so fucking good they actually arrange for us to get intimate
>thatfeel.jpg
her backstory
>is 21
>also hitchhiked some
>wanted to go to Romania
>badly
>tried four times
>thrice somebody changed their mind last moment
>once she got fucking sick
that's why she had a good motive to go with somebody, who actually gets stuff done, not just brags

>anyway we sleep in her bed
>too drunk to fuck
>too drunk to care
>morning comes
>we fuck
>she has a hell of a beautifull face
>inb4 post; nope
>sadly with dreadlocks on top
>whatever
>has next to no tits
>thisilike.png
>has big, shapely ass
>thisilikeevenmore.png
>after one fuck we talk
>sober now
>she still wants to go with me
>youmustbeshittingme.jpg
>no, she actually does
>in fact she is afraid that *I* will not deliver
>wellapparentlysometimesevenopdelivers.webm

anyone reading this?

>preparations start
>during this period we fuck like bonobos
>7 times a day
>first anal of my life
>she happens to be my first girl to actually like sucking cock
>in a total nick of time we manage her visas
>she spends all the single coin she has
>I will pay for stuff on the trip
>she will give it back later
>fine with me
>btw she actually did
>the day she gets her passport we leave.
>travel through poland, lithuania, latvia
>nothing special

We're reading.

>we enter russia
>sukablyat.mp3
>since russian visas are fucked as fuck, we have 3 weeks of stay already (intead of a month)
>7 thousand kilometers to go
>no problem
>I know russian
>she drinks vodka
>dreamteam.jpg
>I hate alcohol
>HATE
>my favourite state of consciousness is soberity
>I have control
>my thoughts are clear and sharp
>only alcohol I can drink is the tasty kind
>notinsovietrussia.bmp
>and when I say she drinks I mean it
>many men before underestimated her
>every single one of them wanted to die the next day
>amounts she could drink in comparison to most people were basically on the scale of comparing tight virgin boi pussy with an old horse's asshole
>and so we went

>we got to Moscow easily
>buy an atlas, maps can't contain russia
>russia why you so big
>pretty little happens at first
>the first locals who want to drink with us are met in Perm, 2000km from the EU border
>they buy Finlandia
>but this is not part of this story
>next vodka time happens like a thousand, maybe one and a half frop Perm
>we drink with truck drivers
>we drink with Tatars
>well, let me just tell you those guys keep up to the stereotypes
>for a whole day we go with one old Tatar
>night comes
>no truck driver drives during the night
>not in russia
>so he stops somewhere
>his buddy brings vodka
>Abakan
>Kazach vodka

>mfw russians don't drink russian vodka
>not until they run out of cash that is
>mfw this shit is cash
>pure vodka actually tastes good
>tastes good to a guy who hates vodka
>but this isn't good news
>we drink
>the problem with them was not the quantity of liquid
>it was the speedracing
>whenever I empied my glass it would magically become full the moment I straightened my hand
>we eat a lot too

>finally I start having enough
>totally enough
>I go to pee, try to sober up a bit
>no way
>after some time I come back
>forgotten to mention I hate cigarettes more than alco
>of course they smoke, as they always do
>I sit on the drivers seat, by the window
>just in case
>but she has to smoke
>why stupid ho
>why
>changes seats with me
>I sit in the middle now
>they pour me one more
>BTW we are in the middle of the third 0.5l bottle
>I drink
>like, it's russia
>rules are rules
>I can't break the rules
>under the penalty of angry russians

keep going peasent!

>now I feel bad
>vomiting type of bad
>youknewitwascoming.jpg
>I would easily manage to open the fucking window
>but dumb bitch took my place
>I puke a bit toward the steering wheel
>she moves back
>I manage to GTFO
That's the way to show fankfulness in poland. Drink someones vodka, but give him back a little
>notreallythough.jpg
>I kneel on the grass
>in the very middle of nowhere
>completely drunk
>not knowing where am I
>during the night
>and I must have just pissed the only people who can help me now
>the real trip begins now

>beautifull fullmoon glows above me
>I kneel and puke till there's nothing left
>I wait for the two moons to unite again into one
>in the meantime I see the other driver leading the girl out of the truck and helping to pee
>she must be drunk as fuck, I think not giving a shit anymore
>nearly eaten by mosquitos I return to the truck
>turns out they did not really care
>instead they finished two more bottles
>everybody goes to sleep now
>I make it to the gigher bed
>she tries and falls breaking some plastic "table"
>is too heavy and drunk to get to me
>whatever

Did something pretty similiar once when I walked home from a night out. Home was like 20-30 minutes away but I just couldn't hold it in anymore so i squatted and shat on the snow in front of a hedge at the side of the road. Luckily I brought a pack of tissues that night.

>I wake up
>need to empty my bladder
>cringe thinking of the last night
>look down
>iwasntpreparedforthisshit.gif
>she is naked from waist down
>kind of hugging him, but obviously she just fell in that position in her drunkenness
>I try to wake her up quietly
>she only hugs him tighter oblivious to the world
>shithitsthefan.jpg
>I feel strange
>she was my... pair
>somebody to go arm by arm with me
>somebody to help, no matter what
>and, hell, somebody I was fucking with actively
>now I have this picture of party whore in my mind
>feelsbadman.png

i dont know if this was a joke or not, but idgaf im posting some OC

>be me 6 years ago
>13 years of age
>had girlfriend, she was alright, she had blonde hair and freckles, and she was short as fuck.
>adorableshit.jpg
>lets call her bb
>some day at school
>usually i walk her to her class, but shes not there
>weird, ill wait for her
>wait for about 30 seconds until i go looking
>impatientfuck.png
>look around, no where to be seen
>eventually look outside
>ohfuck.gif
>she's being cornered by another student
>i hear him saying shit like "you bitch!" and "fucking whore!"
>get fucking furious, no one talks to her that way
>yell at the top of my lungs
>heyfucker.webm
>he looks
>run at mach 3 speeds
>clench fist, ready to punch the fuck out of him
>swing a hook
>kid falls to the floor
>tell bb to get to class, she'll be late
>3 fingers are broken, kid got short-term amnesia
>suspended for a week
>idgaf it felt good

turns out this kid wanted some puss, but she refused. i dont know what the fuck that kid was on, but im glad bb is alright.

damm

>I have to go on
>I get down
>cover her
>she notices me
>and him
>and that she hugs him
>unhugs him confused
>I get out
>piss
>I return
>he is on the driver seat
>she lies covered
>everybody is wasted
>he leaves for some reason
>I confront her
>tell her she wears no panties
>she is confused as the fuck itself
>remembers nothing
>nothing
>we talk
>this part is blurred in my memories
>I finally say something along the lines of "we can be together if you won't be doing such fucked up things"
>she is moved
>"would you really like such a terrible creature as me?"
>whynotifithasafuckableholeandafemininepenis.jpg
>seriously though I say "no problem"
>and this fucked up night and getting rekt connects us in some strange way
>more than nice stuff would I guess
>we discuss it and agree to become a couple
>I have a girlfriend again
>winrar.zip
>the driver returned
>we cleaned up
>we drank some tea
>after a whole night of heavy drinking and like one hour of waking up this guy
>simply started the engine
>and rode for another day straight
>russians
By the way the driver told me that nothing happened between them. All the little evidence available spoke for it, so I assumed she just lost her panties accidentally when pissing or sth

>we cross russia
>shit is cash
>easily make it to the border in time
>travel through Mongolia
>holy
>shit
>the best country ever
>everything is cool
>landscape is beautifull
>every local invites us and wants to hang out with them
>now I can die happily
fast forward
>about a month after the russian incident she starts acting strange
>when we wake up she mopes
>"what is it?"
>"I'm not good for it"
>"for what"
>"relationship"
>thefuckyousaywoman.png
>I ignore it for some time
>Then we talk more
>I finally give up
>better to have her happy than worried all the time
>I guess we kind of split up
>but of course I still have the pussy for me
>and for me only, at least until we come back
>in fact I see no difference
>then we cross Mongolia
>then we cross China
>China is fucked up as the fuck only can be
>but also cool
>then we cross Kyrgyzstan
>loveit.gif
>we fly to Turkey
>return home

>when we were away her student's house got rekt
>closed, that is
>she moves to my flat
>luckily I lived alone
>I was afraid she would start fucking other guys now
>nope
>in fact we discuss some rules
>in fact we are nothing but a couple without admitting it
>shrugs.gif
>time passes
>finally she starts telling me some stories of her past
>dark stories
>when she was seven some 14yo dumbass acolyte fingered her
>later he even told her about more stuff he did to her while she slept
>she started having sex when she was 13
>lost hymen being 15
>but had some anal before it
>when she was 15 or 16 she would hang out with some punks on some squat
>fucked with one of them a couple of times
>something wrong happened between them
>she went away, but some days later he convinced her to come back
>hit her had with some metal bar and tied her up
>when she awoke he tried to rape her
>orally
>sirdoyouevenlogic.jpg
>she bit the fucker hard and managed to untie herself
>ran away

>her parents were also pretty fucked up
>one time she got a boyfriend her mother told him some shit
>like intimidated him badly and stuff
>for some reason it was like a milestone for my quasi-gf
>parents hated each other
>divorced later
>her father wouldn't send her the cash
>and many more little things have happened over time
>I don't remember
>you don't care
anyway, time passed. The story was slowly revealed to me for about four months, mostly when she was drunk
>This all together made her start actually believing the world is against her
>if she cut her finger there would be like 5 mins of screaming
>and saying things like "sure, why not any MORE fingers?" "why don't you cut your WHOLE hand?"
> can't tell when things actually started going wrong
>maybe she made them wrong (subconsciously I mean)
>I study psychology, you see, and there is sth we call "self-fulfilling prophecy"
>long story short it's when you not knowingly act in a way that makes your expectations right at some point
>as with a guy checking whether his neighbour is agressive by throwing a stone at them

>during before winter shit started going a lil' bit worse
>she was studying at two faculties at the time
>working non-stop
>she didn't like anal anymore
>cuz she would have to clean her ass both before and after
>yeah, whatever
>the worst thing at that time was she would always call me her roommate.
>you know, it kind of hurts
>fuck it hurts a lot
>mostly cause it's as if she had no feels for me
>butistillhavesumsex.mp3

ok faggots. it's about when shit starts hitting the fan. we're over the half of the story but I'm out of pretyped text. bear with me and I promise it will get better. and btw, do you enjoy it so far?

Yes man

we listening mahn im invested ;!

>Be in high school history class.
>We are doing a mock diplomacy exercise
>Students are divided into groups of four, with each group representing a fictional country.
>”Countries” will negotiate to solve hypothetical international dispute.
>I cringe when I learn that groups will be assigned.
>Placed into a group with two empty-headed girls who refuse to speak to me, let alone contribute.
>They sit off to the side talking about stupid teenager things and ignore me whenever I try to include them.
>Final group member is a flailing retard, let’s call him user.
>user is at least paying attention, but does literally nothing besides joke about we should “just bomb everybody” and make him dictator of the world.
>Literally nothing else.
>Instructor hands out sheets for us to fill out our policy proposals.
>I propose that we create a global council, similar to the United Nations.
>Two bimbos don’t acknowledge me, continue talking about cute boiz.
>user says, “Who cares? We’ll just bomb everybody and I’ll be dictator! Haha!”
>I ask the group for suggestions concerning the ongoing missile dispute.
>Two floozies ignore me, continue to gossip about how Britney that fucking prep is such a fucking slut.
>user says, “We’ll just use the missiles to bomb everyone and I’ll be dictator! Hahaha!”
>I say, ”We cannot just bomb everyone, user. That is not a foreign policy strategy.”
>”Why the fuck not?”
>”Our economy relies on trade with the other nations. Also, the other nations have militaries as well. They will retaliate. We can’t simply drop bombs on sovereign nations and expect no consequences.”
>”Not if they’re all dead and I’m dictator! Hahahaha!”
>End up having to do entire assignment myself.
>MFW that was half a century ago.
>MFW user is now the Republican candidate for President of the United States.

i've gone too far to stop now

>so autumn slowly turns to winter
>she will come back home drunk sometimes
>(as you could guess she used to got to the parties without me. I hate vodka.)
>she will slowly tell the story of childhood and shit
>then one day, as pink floyd phrased it,
>she tells me "I'll start cheating on you soon"
>wtf.jpg
>wtf.png
>WTF.mp3
>"see, I used to push things quite far"
>"I would make out with a guy on the party"
>"then right before we have sex I would leave and come back"
>but one day I won't be able to hold it"
well, that's not sth you like to hear, is it?

KEK

been there user basically told me that she was gonna fuck my cousin

This one is in so many threads

Bumping

>It hits me even harder because it's somehow similar to how I lost my previous gf
>the only person I really miss breaking up with
>a bit of my soulmate
>back then I didn't understood the whole point of not fucking anybody beside your lover
>so I arranged an open relationship
>and got cucked out of it
>left alone
>so it won't happen to me again
> I fucking swear
>now it will be different
and so it was, because, believe it or not, I'm the type of person who does what they plan to do. this way or another.

Yes man keep going

>well, the winter starts for good
>we still fuck
>but not too often, sometimes even less then once per day
>I start to die inside
>then my exams come
>she as always is preoccupied with her studies
>like, I don't take this perspective in the story but I really admired her for this. she was fucking hard working

since so many of you like it, how about some screencapping? if it's not good enough now, consider it for later. shit hits the fan in 3 months.


>so my exams come
>I never mentioned that I failed two exams in the previos year and also my degree paper, dunno how they call it in english
>all bcause of that trip
>so this year I have really just a couple of courses to do
>I go a lot to some non-obligatory shit though
>I used to anyway
>I failed miserably my exams
>that is, two exams
>I just couldn't get my shit together
>I would wait until she gets away from home
>somehow her presence was constricting me, idk why

I'm drunk and invested in this. Keep fucking going.

its 2;43 and i avnt slept in 28 hours so youre story is whats keeping me going user

>I wait
>she leaves
>I fool around on the internets/vidya cause I'm too tired to work
>once I start working, she comes back
>later on I won't be able to even start
so I had a month for this shit. And I did nothing NOTHING in that time
>one time I asked her to actually help me a little
>she said she would have the time only after like february the 1st
>which would be after my exams
>during that time she worked
>and worked
>that's why I left her alone. I wanted her help but not for the sake of her studies

>she sometimes told me to come and hug her
>I felt as if on some duty
>unpleasant
>cause even though I couldnt do shit I felt I'm losing the time
>remember this point, I will come back to it much later
all of this was before february, next post is after

>I'm wrecked
>completely
>always tired, always feeling bad for not having done anything
> I know I still can do it
>maybe they will agree for another date or sth, you know
>after all it's not that bad at my uni
>but no
>she never kept her promise
>never helped me when she finally had some time
but again, to this part we also will come back later
> easter is coming

GO OP GO

>so as I told you, I was trying to somehow "best" her in the realtionship
>I mean this part about cheating
>I knew exactly what must have been done
>I had to find myself somebody before she manages
>or even after but before she leaves me
>I imagined we would just remain fuckbuddies
>you see, she could fuck on all those parties, but she wouldn't find herself someone for anything more serious/lasting
>in fact I was her second "boyfriend", I forgot to mention this
>this was because she was so obsessed with her mother shouting at the previos guy
>for some reason she considered me special person
>other than anybody
>for this reason she, sure, could fuck anybody
>but would come back to me afterwards
>in fact I already thought she is fucking other guys regularly

Bring the Oh cee faggot

YOU GOT THIS mahn

Bump. Dis story purty good
>mfw breaking 3 months of pure lurking for greentxt bump

am not OP, btw
it's me, idiot
>easter was coming
>by this time we almost stopped fucking
>even if we did, it was pretty lame
>well, I was still waiting for an ocasion
>good friend calls
>she is from some little village in the mountains, thus knows a lot of places
>invites me and a couple of other people for a walk
>of course I go there
>of course I find myself an... object of interest
>not really, though. she was just a cool girl, so I talked with her a lot during the tirp

thx I appreciate
>during the first night we spoon
>(we come from kinda hippie background, so it's not sth strange to do, wheter or not you plan sex)
>I gently work my way into her panties
>takes me all night, but boy, do I like it
>btw she was a solid 3/10
>her face, that is
>body was very decent, petite
>and she was a simple, nice girl
>once I tried to touch her pussy she said
>"I really shouldn't"
>"but does it mean you won't?"
>"no"
>and so I touched her, she touched me.
>everybody was waking up already, so nothing else happened
>whatever, she was already mine

wb tiddies user?

Bump

>we go to another mountain
>there is some kind of dome made of plastic foil, whatever
>built well, but primitive
>btw I never mentioned that snow was still all around. not much though
>we come there
>we collect some wood
>it gets dark
>at this point me and the girl, let's call her susanne, go "for a walk"
> we get to some bent tree
>we can't really contain ourselves
>after making out fiercely we start looking for a nice place to lie down
>not this easy with this snow around
>thenamiracle.jpg
>we find some ground completely without snow
>I put my coat on the ground
>this leaves me just in my tshirt, trembling a little from excitement ant cold
>she's concerned
>I politely ask her to shut up and take what is coming
>she politely does

Sorry didnt read the thread before i posted. I love your story user

Don't let this thread die

>man, was this shit cash
>yes it was
>YES IT WAS
>this pussy was fucking amazing
>so soft
>so wet
>so waiting for me
>I teased with her for a moment, then entered
>"oh fuck", she said
>in fact, she would repeat it constantly, along with "o mother"
>whatev
>I nearly came too soon
>but no, I am a gentelman
>I simply waited not moving for some time
>then I came back to fucking this best pussy
>It was definitely the very best fucking sex in my life
> very best

Bump

Dont let this thread die you glorious polock

Bump

Bumping

M. O. A. R.....

>we came back
>ate somethign with the others
>there was like four people beside us
>and one little sister of my friend
>she even went to look for us, but luckily got bored before she found us
>we go to sleep
>well, they go to sleep
>we talked
>she explained she had a boyfriend
>I knew already from previos night
>susanne and I cuddle for some time, then I strat to finger her
>I finger even more. she is very receptive. after this she whispers into my ear "thank you for those magnificent, CONTINIOUS orgasms"
well, now thats something I liek to hear. finally after those sad months.
>then she gave me the head on my request.
>I came inside, she didn'e expect this. Me neither btw, bcause it takes me VERY long to cum, especially from a blowjob
>but she swallowed.
>my girl. I was so proud
>finally somebody wanted to make me feel good
>I was so happy
>finally

Baaaaaamp

Bump

I swear to god if this ends with dinosaur I will fucking punch my dog

Tell us about what roommate said after she found out you cucked her

btw thanks you all for reading. I appreciate the attention. the problem is now shit gets dark, so leave if you wanted a happy endidng. leave now.

>later I ask her about boyfriend
>does she love him
>of course I know the answear
>you don't love people you cheat on
>she tells me that h loves her, so she just don't want to ruin this for him
you know that joke btw?
-I just ended one relationship without perspectives
-aren't you sad then?
-no, it wasn't mine
>I did exactly that
>simply explaied to her that she is destroying his oppotrunities by lying that she will be with him
>I genuinely believe that, btw
>she did like a week later


>we come back from the mountains
>she wants to go to some kind of party/ hippie celebration coming this night
>so, obviously she will come to my house
>let me sum up what I think of my relationship with "gf" right now:

I'm gonna punch your dog if this ends with Bel Air.

Yes. Keep it coming.

I hope your dog is tiny. Don't wanna mess with a big angry dog when multiple people come over to punch him.

keep going man

it won't, but do it anyway
man, you don't expect this soooo much...

>she probably cheats on me
>but not really, because, remember, I'm but her "roommate"
>also, there is one thing I forgot to mention
>on the new years eve she brought home a girl
>girl form the street (not a whore)
>working in some cheap ass bakery
>tries to fuck her for like two hours
>girl has fucking nothing between her ears
>not a single thought
>back to present
>if she can bring home a girl and fuck her (well, try to at least), then so can I.
>to be honest it was some hipocrysy on my part, as we kind of agreed for her sleeping with girls.
>so, you see, this is what I think of the situation, this is what I tell susanne

lmao

Are you throwing a rock to the future?

Ill punch him too, if you dont mind faggot

Hurry the fuck up

let's go bud. I know you don't have pretyped but lets skip the bs and finish the story. stop pandering.

Post pics of youre dog

>but I know what I deliberatley plan to do is wrong
>it is bad, it is...
>sinful
>and I am an atheist
>this is why I write this story
>as some kind of confession perhaps.
this is request for you, faggots. tell me, when the story ends, how wrong do you thing I behaved. how fucked up shit it was in your opinion
>I don't feel that it was wrong to fuck the other girl
>but I shouldn't come with her home
>I shouldn't take her to bathroom
>I shouldn't undress her to see her body for the first time completely naked (remember, it was cold winter still)
>I shouldn't fuck her for good one and a half hour ( i know exaclty, because my father was to take us to th party and ha was already telling me to hurry up)
>I shouldn't take her out of bathtub to finish doggystlye
>that was when we heard my "gf" from another room
>"I BEG you, stop"
>wtf?
>we finished
>dressed up
>I opened the door
>ohshit.jpg

Come o man, I've read way too much of this for you to drop out now.

Bemp

>dinosaur I will fucking my dog

Jesus user, hurry up b4 dreaded 400s show up

Check my dubble dubs

>she's led on the floor
>everybody do the dinosaur

sorry, buddy. we are there
>blood
>there is blood
>on the floor everywhere
>footprints
>very artistic, btw I must admit
>but there is fucking blood
>well,l she told me she used to sometimes cut herself when fighting with mother or sth
>I say "oh. she really tried hard on this."
>I'm calm, really calm
>susanne is in worse shape, but she resists
>I tell her to start putting shoes on
>I get to gf's room
>pool of blood inside

satisfied? now shut up

Hurry user