You have 30 seconds to invent JUST ONE QUIP that is worthy of a Marvel film. I'll even let you make up the situation and it can be as implausible as you want (i.e. would never appear in a movie) but it has to be Avengers characters talking to each other.
If you think quips are easy
Other urls found in this thread:
(farts)
'For you'
>hero and villain fighting in the sea
>giant whale eats villain up
>"WHALE, I GUESS WE WON'T BE SEEING HIM ANYMORE"
Vision: The one they call Thanos will bring about destruction till the end of infinity. War is coming.
Spiderman: Uh - that doesn't sound so good.
Audience looses their shit
>WHALE, I GUESS WE WON'T BE SEAING HIM ANYSHORE
Wow did you already read the script
>Captain America jumps in front of Ultron
>HOLD IT RIGHT THERE METAL HEAD
Enough with the prattle, let's battle
>Sherlock: This woman was murdered.
>Watson: No shit, Sherlock.
How you like dem apples
Stark: Hey Thor does that armor protect your lower spine and tailbone?
Thor: I'm not sure I can't see that-
Stark: Looks like it doesn't come with an ASGARD HAHAHAHA
CAN YOU PLEASE HOLD THE THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR
>Scarjo does something cool
'By the way: girls rule, boys drool!'
>everyone's got a gimmick now
was watching civil war last night and when bucky said it i burst into uncontrollable laughter
you're terminated, fucker
did you just throw a frisbee at me?
I think you're misunderstanding how they're written.
Here's how you write a quip:
1. Write the film
2. Go back through it and have your characters constantly flirt with the fourth wall by commenting on/joking about currently unfolding events
It's a kind of cowardice in writing; a fear of letting a moment be serious in case a viewer undermines it with their own thought process. It's the equivalent of mocking yourself so others don't get a chance to.
jesus what the fuck why is his skull so long
Nice shooting, son. What's your name?
That one always crack me up
>WHALE, I GUESH HARRENHAUL IS OFF THE SHORE AS WELL
>It's a kind of cowardice in writing; a fear of letting a moment be serious in case a viewer undermines it with their own thought process. It's the equivalent of mocking yourself so others don't get a chance to.
This is true, applies to so many shows and capeshit really. And the average Sup Forums post actually about real opinions actually
because he's balding
Scarjo: Wow your is so hard.
Ironman: That is not the only thing that is hard. My penis is also hard.
>Spider-Man hits bad guy with a lamp
>looks like it's.....lights out for you
>3rd Thor film
>Iron man cameo at ACDC concert.
>axle rose asks if we're ready to ragnaROCK
thank you for posting this, seriously. hopefully a few people will pull their heads out of their asses, grow up, and see how worthless all this superhero crap is
>Punisher fries enemy with Flamethrower
>Well that takes care of the cremation
You're a big Marvel
>Falcon: Iron Man? More like iron can, am i right?
>Iron Man: Tell this to my iron fist
>Iron Fist: Did someone call me?
EYE SHAPPHOSHHHH
Iron man flicks on the light and says "Let there be light"
Captain America: I UNDERSTAND THAT REFERENCE!!!
every1 laughs
A billionaire play boy philanthropist in a war zone... And no suit of armour to compensate for it.
What's the difference between a quip and a one liner?
One Liners seem to come after the action (like a Bond pun after he kills someone)
Where as a quip happens during the action to basically fill up time
Falcon said it. Why was that funny?
>"did you just throw a ginormous frisbee at me? the fuck..."
>"im supposed to be a spider, not a dog"
Tony and Vision are talking, Wanda is out-of-focus in the background
Tony: How's existence treating you anyway? You happy to be alive yet?
Vision: While I must say I've become rather taken with some of the more idiosyncratic elements of humanity...
Switch focus to Wanda who is stood holding a coffee pot
Wanda: Vision did you forget to change the filter again?
Focus switches back
Vision: ...I remain conflicted.
Is this a thread that Joss created just because he got lazy writting the next avengers movie?
It's a cynical self referential quip used to defuse any criticism of the innate stupidness of the scene (ha ha we know it's stupid guys ! Don't worry)
>Hawkeye releases an arrow into someones eye
>BULLSEYE
seems like it. jfc and people laugh and pay to see this shit
it's the same shit idiot.
Quips are more snarky, one liners are more sincere.
Joss has a cameo in the next generic capeshit in which he pisses all over Birdman
>WELL... I guess he weed on you
a CIA plane shoots down iron man
HE DIDN'T FLY SO GOOD
*stan lee farts*
I guess now I'm the one who STANK
>idiosyncratic
What did he mean by this? wandas thighs?
>Ironman is trying to ride a CGI dinosaur for some reason
>how the hell do you work this thing?
>ok boy go!
>mush!
>onward!
>let's go now!
>gee no wonder you guys went extinct
>dinosaur gives him an angry look
>woah easy buddy we're on the same side
>and I thought Hulk was scary
>Iron Man and Daredevil arguing
IM: Now, see, you're looking at it all wrong. I can't believe I said that, I'm sorry.
DD: It's cool. Happens all the time.
IM: I look like such an idiot.
[beat]
IM: I'm actually done now.
This Jesus Christ.
dinosaur starts trying to shake stark off
>WOOOOAAAHH
Fuckan shit too close man, too close.
>[beat]
they insist on using this formula for IM every fucking marvel film he's in
jfc. are you whedon?
lel
noice
Is Linda Hamilton as Sarah Connor one of the top 5 castings of all time? She was literally perfect and others who have tried to fill the role have failed miserably.
Iron Man: Spiderman your web looks like cum!
Hawkeye: He didn't ask for your favorite drink!
/everyone laughs
>peter fighting falcon
>YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT
>oh bad phrasing, I'm not actually a police officer or in the police academy
>and I wouldn't ever consider shooting you because you're black
>all I have to shoot are webs anyway
>hehe wings up don't shoot right?
>why did I get stuck chasing Falcon? I really do hate my parker luck--- WAIT, I mean smith luck, no, eisenberg luck?
>Iron Man to cap, during an argument: "What's your superpower anyway?"
>Spiderman:"America, duh"
HEUEHEUHEUEHEUHE
Thanos: you are all insects to me
Spiderman: thats not a nice thing to say
Antman: what he said
i can actually hear it already
The only problem I have with the Spiderman/Falcon scene is how the fuck is Vulture supposed to be taken seriously as a threat when Spiderman already effortlessly toyed with Falcon. They are essentially the same, except Falcons wingsuit can actually do things other than make him fly, and he's a trained soldier with combat experience. Vulture is just an old guy in a suit that lets him fly and fight/take hits like he's not 100 years old
>Black Widow: You learn to live with it
> *ant man grows to giant man*
> Tony stark looks at him with jealousy
> Spiderman ; "Hes a big guy..."
> Tony stark begins to become visibly agitated
> Spiderman turns to face him
> "...For you"
> *Platform shoeing intensifies*
>30 seconds? I could get more joy from that than my ex wife!
>"You have 30 seconds" jeez, what is this, (insert random game show name)?
generic shit
Ugh
this will happen
screenshot this
>Avengers all go visit hawkeye's ranch
>we see Hawkeye's wife with the new baby in her arms
>the baby's black
>Stark: "Looks like you really hit the bull's eye there, Clint"
Spiderman: spiders are no insects
You don't have to shoehorn this into everything.
Iron man: I hate niggers
Black Panther: What he say
>Spidey: "Uhh, Arachnid, duhh?"
not
>Rhodeyy!!!!
>everyone laughs
Ant Man loses his power to go giant
>Hey Ant Man go giant!
>I cANT MAN!
hahahaha omg XD spidey is so random and I know who he is bc I'm such a nerd. That is SO me!
Hothor?
get rekt faggot
Not really.
One liner can also be used to only sound cool.
Iron Man: He's getting away!
Spider-Man: let me STICK it to them!!!
*shoots web*
Tony: You got a lot more faith in people than I do.
Captain America: No, Tony. I have hope, and that's worth fighting for.
Ant-Man: Yeah I saw that bumper sticker too.
Wrong thread nigger. But I'd like to know where you meant to post. I'm always game for Batman/Superman fight threads.
Joss?
Only you can perform these wonders and Marvel's™ Daredevil™!
>Hero throws a bad guy through a door
>"What happened to that guy?
>"I showed him the door"
>Silver Surfer tries to open a heavy door but is too weak
>Iron Man: alloy me
Justice League movie
Deadshot: Ayo, why you guys so dark and brooding, ya'll need to lighten up (pulls face at the camera)
Zack Snyder cameo: Dark? This isn't dark, you didn't even get raped in prison
The crap in this thread makes me want to commit suicide
then do it already faggot
8/10
I can actually imagine him saying that.
>Avengers sitting around somberly
>Iron Man walks in
>"Why are you guys so miserable, somebody die?"
>Credits
>In memory of Stan Lee
>Random New Hero is added to the roster to get them cameo bucks
>After seeing Black Widow do something for the first time
Random Hero: Perhaps I have misjudged you, Miss Romanov.
Black Widow: *shrugs one shoulder, trying way too hard to look casual* Well, you know. Books. Covers. *does a flip and kicks a bad guy in the chest and lands in a pose*
Random Hero: *turns to Hawk Eye* Iiiiiiii LIKE her.
There, I've even used Whedon's obnoxious, arbitrary shortening of sentences.
R.I.P.
Black Panther walks up to Falcon, War Machine, and Mordo having a conversation whilst Iron Man and Captain America are discussing something in the background.
Falcon: Hey Panther, who is your master?
BP: Excuse me?
War Machine: You're some white guy's sidekick right?
BP: No, I am a King. I serve no man.
Mordo: Oh shiiiiet.
Iron Man and Captain America share a worried glance.
Iron Man: Ruh roh shaggy.
>Tony Stark to Coulson
- "I thought you were dead"
- "Nope"
>You shouldn't have brought a man-hole cover to a gunfight, Cap
>Hey, I know we're at war here but please, lets try and keep things civil
Spider-Man: So Mr. Stark, did you travel through time?
Tony: What?
SM: You know. For the future of mankind.
Not bad.
Ahnold get out.