Share secrets thread

Share secrets thread.

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I masturbate to my old teachers.

Ill start.

I sold my virginity in a craigslist ad.

Dont we all

Girls stopped being attractive to me and now I'm like 99% homosex. I didn't want to end up this way. No offense to those who have been/are gay

I didn't think that we did.

cars mom tried to friend me in the fingerback

Attracted*

I can make women orgasm at will simply by thinking about it.

Dyslexic?

When I was little I tried masturbating with a belt around my neck and almost died. My parents asked me what I was doing and I just said that I didn't remember.

I....I am a girl...no I won't time stamp or sharpie in pooper....or tits.....but yes I am a girl...

sometimes I steal a little bowl out of my friend's stash

I can actually do that but it only works with direct eye contact and it takes at least a minute.

Earlobe or gtfo.

Ankle or gtfo

...

Same

If anyone can roll trips....I'll do time stamp

I secretly imagine the deaths of selfish children that don't shut the fuck up

I've been working in another country for two weeks and already slept with two girls and nearly a third.

My girlfriend of 3 years is 4000 miles away and has no idea; in fact she's more in love with me than ever.

I feel no guilt.

I once ate all my brother's Sour Patch Kids

I'm in a relationship with my cousin.

I lost my virginity to her. We never use protection - I just pull out.

easy

I just brush it off thinking he does the same

I cant believe any system of self worth half as easily or strongly as one based around my sexual capital, that is how often and fervently girls want my dick, specifically in their mouth as that somehow conveys focus on me, not just a pleasurable sex act in which I could be replaced- but I am largely ashamed of this system of self worth due to its imposing nature on my sex partners and the fact that I doubt that any of my idols would clap me on the back heartily and smile warmly upon hearing this about me, so any happiness gained through it is hollow and worthless and ultimately I can never respect myself and never enjoy sex.

So easy you failed

Iowa?

not even joking same. happened to me around 15

I'm dating a hamplanet because she was the first girl off dating sites to give me pussy in a while. She's cool and nice and shit, but I can't get over what a pig she is. I'm trying to figure out a way to dump her gently.

youtube.com/watch?v=43pM0CwByhY

gotta fake your death son......

I'm actually trying to do that. Was it worth it?

i've been constipated all day and i feel like i have the fucking flu

I tell Sup Forums true stories and nobody believes me, then I just laugh my ass off to the cringy replies I get from neckbeards. More fun than trolling.

If singles, leave and never return, roastie

m/f, and how much did you get?

I voted for Taft

Girls were never attractive to either of you. Denial is powerful.

>m, three fiddy

I'm heavily into vore, so i love watching people eat meat

I'm lonely.

well i can still jack off to straight and gay porn so maybe bi? i just dont like relationships much. too much money and time spent on someone that could just up and leave.

Loch Ness Monster got him some! How long did it take for them to realize you were an eight story tall crustacean from the Paleozoic era?

I'm going to have sex come Sunday night.
She's related but not related.
We've been waiting forever for this night to finally be able to be alone cause family are nosy whiteknightfagoots
It's her first time.
And mine.
Wat do Sup Forums so I don't fuck it up and she keeps coming back for more?

I got a duck in the butt surprise from an older angsty teenage boy when I was about 8. It was my best friends birthday party and we were all over at his house having fun in the bounce house when his older brother told me he had something to show me in his room. I followed him into his room and he slugged me right across the face and I fell down. Then he picked me up and threw me over his bed and held me down with arm while ripping off my pants with the other. I was completely soft, and he rolled me over and started putting my entire soft dick in his mouth and sucking. I kept crying and telling him to stop but he just kept hitting me saying, "if they hear you, I'll fucking kill you." Then he rolled me over again and shoved it all the way in. He stuffed my pants into my mouth and wrapped his hands around neck and lakes down, pushing with his hips. He kept taking it out and spitting and I could tell he was furious that he couldn't push it in all that far without lube. He left the room and came back with lotion and stuffed a palm full up my ass and then went to town. He finished and put my pants back on and sent me out to the party. As I walked out the door he said "remember, if you say a word, I'll fucking gut you."

Aaaand, I've been mentally fucked ever since

>
Explanation please

This user's clearly from Arkansas, dumbass

I Might have killed a homeless guy with a rock in self defense when i was a teenager.

Not gay, just a realist.

I fear you are right, Mr. LaBeouf.

Put your energies into sentence structure. Did you realize that your paragraph was a single sentence?

Also, stop allowing skanks to touch your peen. You're depreciating your self worth.

Is it possible that in the past (Incidentally or purposely) someone used Quantum Entanglement to attach two points in parallel dimensions together. From what I've read when trying to look at the two you can affect the spin of one. (I'm using Mandella as an example) Attach Point 1 (Mandella dying in prison) to point 2 (Mandella not dying in prison). Then once the entanglement happened Point 1 took the same spin (Or state) as point 2 causing both Universes to share the same event. Thoughts? Clarifications?

I've been married nine years and I've never fucked my wife or even seen her in underwear

I'm a lot happier of a person now that I switched majors but kind of miss being a perpetually angry misanthrope.

I fucked my ex's mom on my ex's birthday, on her bed b/c she was drunk and passed out.

Came in her mom. She was married at the time.

Came in ex the next day. Didn't shower between.

I dont believe you. No one could be this cool irl. Stop watching anime and go outside you basement dwelling troll.

i would want to rub my musky balls / dick on chicks faces.

nice quads here have this

I got raped and when he was done I kind of liked it.

Why?

I take cocaine and speed in my room, then play video games and do crosswords.

Family would probably disown me if they knew, even though im not out being a dick with it.

I am bearing intense guilt over the past.
I have thoughts of helping all those around me and then when everyone can fly on their own I'll end it all.

Just two more anonymous acts of help then ill leave.

It's not their fault.

although being raped is not okay at all, you might like being dominated. its important to know the difference.

2 questions. Are you a girl? and two Who raped you?

I have Borderline Personality Disorder and I am too afraid to tell anyone. I don't have Health Insurance either so I can't see a psychiatrist. I have no idea what to do.

I've been passed god power in my mind but it's limited to the experience a man could expect to have if he's entitled to have his eyes open only, and if he looks at the wrong thing or for too long at anything in particular he's going to be hurt.

It's to set me up with a fuck you attitude and a bit of a hunch that posession real but limited to what you believe could possibly happen to a person whilst them retaining dignity and integrity of soul and personhood.

Homeless people are not alive, so you couldn't have killed it

thats not how entanglement works

you can entangle quantum states, not macroscopic events you retard

How does it affect you? Does another person come in and affect your personhood or your ability to act in reality?

>talks about suicide
>post ended in 404

Im sorry user but you made me laugh so fucking good.
I am still chuckling a little.

interesting. bearstien bears or bearstain bears is the same thing maybe

What if the events didn't affect the general group trajectory and so the state of being was removed from that entanglement and inserted in another?

some people have a nelson mendala that's still alive, a voice told me

Tits or gtfo, cunt

Im not all heterosexual, like a 2 on the kinsey scale, and I'm a fur fag.

How about quads?

My nigga

All my posts on Sup Forums were shitposts.

Weird circumstances

MAKE ME A GRILLED CHEESE

I heard some people have a ratatouille that makes them lunch and shit

FUCK A JOB I STILL GET CHEESE

I guess if youre implying that quantum states don't affect the macroscopic universe at all.

I too enjoy cocaine and crosswords.

you are loved
dont do it

3.50? 350.00?

fuck you, pig.

i heard other people hear stuff too man, so like... maybe some people don't or didn't and then moving to did fucked them up hard and it seemed orchestrated or controlled but fighting and it make them sad but believe in god and possession.

Sounds hot user. I could re-create it for you.

Exactly. Bernstein Bears and Berenstain Bears existed on two dimensional planes. But the spin of one universe 1 was shifted to universe 2 so only Berenstain Bears exists on both planes of both dimensions.

I did a lot of homo shit from the ages of 10-13

I think what started it all was when my babysitter made me jerk him off when I was about 8

i guess if you're retarded and dont understand what quantum states are and how particles interact then its reasonable you might think that macroscopic concepts like "someone dying in prison" and "someone not dying in prison" are relatable in any way by entanglement of any number of states of any number of particles, or for that matter, in the context of quantum physical interactions at all, but in reality you're just retarded and they're not

normally I take shits like that in the toilet but whatever dude

I've been mainlining heroin every night for 3 years. Nobody knows about my habit except my dealer because i'm quite functional

I finger my cat some times

hey have you ever tried that cool life hack where you blow bubbles into a solution with a rock and ammonium and bleach to grow crystals?

you should try that, you sound like you'd be good at it

Sounds like half of my friends and all of the people that see me not being tortured right now as second best

Wut

I work with a turkish girl and I want to fuck her so bad but I'm afraid to because I feel like turkish men are more satisfying in the lovemaking department.