"And then the guy pulled out his gun, he cocked it, put it to my forehead and he said, "Get down...

>"And then the guy pulled out his gun, he cocked it, put it to my forehead and he said, "Get down," and I put my hands up, I was like 'whatever.' He took our money, he took my wallet — he left my cell phone, he left my credentials."

Is he broken?

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>I was like 'whatever'

This nigga

He probably cried and is trying to play tough

Americans get a gun held to their heads at least once a month. He's used to it by now.

>Be American
>don't get shot
>leave country
>favela monkey wants to shoot you

Ryan Lochte is a known retard

He probably had a banana pointed at him and game the guy all his money because he's fucking stupid.

>whatever

Shit happens weekly in shiterica so he wasn't surprised.

>According to four members of the U.S. Olympic Swimming Team, they left France House early Sunday morning in a taxi headed for the Olympic Village

w-what were they doing there so late?

>I was like 'whatever.'

I know that feel.

Lochte is retarded, just listen to his interviews, he's real stupid

>I was like 'whatever.'

literally me

rio2016.com/en/news/olympic-party-rio-2016-national-houses

hes been hanging around to many nigga man

Brazil is pathetic

kek

He's just really, really stupid. Try watching his interviews, he sounds like a jock in a cheap 1980s high school movie.

shithole 4th world country

>be american
>get shot
>go to Brazil
>get robbed

Is there no end to crime?

>go to uk get bad teeth

>I was like 'whatever.'

Is being shot a normal cultural thing in America?

>I was like 'whatever'

lol he shit his pants

Brazil has 26 states. Rio is the second most violent.
Not all Brazil is black, poor and violent.

>I was like 'whatever.

He's seen things you people wouldn't believe.

youtube.com/watch?v=6dlyCTswYH0

he is dumb as fuck.

listen to the way he tries to tell this cheesy anecdote from his childhood about why he 'loves the water'

youtube.com/watch?v=FWAx7DK0nMU

he's like david brent from the office

kek

He's cute though

he is seeing things he can't understand every minute

>I was like 'whatever.'
the worst part is he probably actually said this

thats the best part

not even at gunpoint does he give a fuck

because he is an idiot.

they have the healthiest teeth in the world

>left wallet and credentials
Pretty nice robber desu, losing a few bucks isn't nearly as much of an inconvenience as going through all the bulls hit of getting a new passport

>favelado robber said "get down"
Sure.

Whatever.

Never been robbed, nor do I know anyone that's been robbed. Seriously, so long as you avoid a few shitty areas there's nothing to worry about here.

That's exactly what people say about Rio lmao

>tfw Ryan Lochte's dopiness probably makes him more attractive to women

This guy is the ultimate chad

If you're white and you stay out of the ghetto, you're fine.

Ryan lochte reminds me of Owen Wilson from Zoolander

that didn't work out so well for Lochte

Getting robbed in the U.S. takes some effort on your part, and in 99% of cases you probably deserved it.

Provided you avoid abandoned Greyhound stations in Detroit at 3:00 a.m. or aren't involved in criminal business dealings, there's literally nothing to worry about.

Yes It's the absolute worse I've seen 50 dead bodies just this month and that's because I live in a city with a """murder rate of 11 per 100k""" and an """HDI of .803"""
We fake statistics a lot to pretend we're good at anything.
Other things we do:
>shoot eachother for fun
>throw rocks at eachother's head
>put the paper in the bin
>throw children at running cars for welfare money
>buy tourists' wifes and gfs and sell them to Turkey
>genocide natives (something the developed world has never seen)
>rape
>pillage
>pretend we invented shit the US did
>shit on the streets
>pretend we're cordial while we're the most uncivilized people ever seen
>plastic surgeries paid by the government to pretend we have white and/or pretty people
>kill the elderly for being elderly
>breed like rats
>pretend we have a middle class
>steal American culture because we don't have any
>build houses without cement
>poo on the ocean
>pee on the ocean
>try to block ambulances on emergencies
>poo on the bin
>pee on the bin
>use knifes to poo
>use knifes to shop for free
>steal phones to literally unironically throw them away in no time
>try to block liveleak
>get zika

I meant in the U.S. I know shit all about Rio.

Yes It's the absolute worse I've seen 50 dead bodies just this month and that's because I live in a city with a """murder rate of 11 per 100k""" and an """HDI of .803"""
We fake statistics a lot to pretend we're good at anything.
Other things we do:
>shoot eachother for fun
>throw rocks at eachother's head
>put the paper in the bin
>throw children at running cars for welfare money
>buy tourists' wifes and gfs and sell them to Turkey
>genocide natives (something the developed world has never seen)
>rape
>pillage
>pretend we invented shit the US did
>shit on the streets
>pretend we're cordial while we're the most uncivilized people ever seen
>plastic surgeries paid by the government to pretend we have white and/or pretty people
>kill the elderly for being elderly
>breed like rats
>pretend we have a middle class
>steal American culture because we don't have any
>build houses without cement
>poo on the ocean
>pee on the ocean
>try to block ambulances on emergencies
>poo on the bin
>pee on the bin
>use knifes to poo
>use knifes to shop for free
>steal phones to literally unironically throw them away in no time
>try to block liveleak
>get zika

10/10

>they have the healthiest, ugliest teeth in the world

ftfy

>I was like 'whatever.'

CAUSE THIS IS MY UNITED STATES OF WHATEVER

yeah all six of them

>"I was like "Jeah bro"
What did he mean by this?

so you have a high murder rate.....

....per capita?

lochte is a fucking retard, he is probably lucky he got a second chance to sit the fuck down

Why did they make the olympics and WC in Rio? It's like making the next Mexican olympics/WC in Oaxaca or Guerrero.

For reference is like making the next American olympics/WC in Detroit or New Jersey.

>one of the best swimmers in Olympic history
>almost literally retarded

I'm keking at his interviews

pffft hahahahaha

>7x3
>21
Jesus christ

I went down to the beach and saw Kiki and she was, like, all "ehhhh", and I was, like, "whatever!"

>Ryan Lochte was born in Rochester, New York, the son of Ileana "Ike" (née Aramburu) and Steven R. Lochte.[2] His mother is Cuban and was born and raised in Havana, Cuba, while his father is of German, Dutch and English descent.[3] He has two older sisters, Kristin, and Megan, and two younger brothers, Devon, and Brandon. During his early childhood, his family lived in Canandaigua, New York, but moved to Florida so his father could coach swimming. Lochte was taught to swim at the age of five by both of his parents. Ryan was often kicked out of his father's swimming classes for misbehaving, which often included pulling other children's legs, blowing bubbles, and hiding at the other end of the pool. Lochte only began taking swimming seriously when he was in junior high school.[4] Steve Lochte said, "I would send him to go shower when he was messing around. He spent more time in the showers than he did in the pool." At 14 years old, Ryan's loss at the Junior Olympics changed his attitude towards swimming: "I suddenly said, 'I'm sick of losing'. After that I trained hard and I never lost there again."[5]

Ryan Lochte was never robbed. It's a rumor that is proven false.

He may not be the smartest, but he seems like a real bro. Would get drunk with.

*7x4

...

Ah, you must be the damage control team from the IOC.

>Pretty nice robber desu
The story is that it was a robber pretending to be a cop.

I think most people realise that it was actually a cop in Rio on his second job.

>this whole time I though Phelps was older than him
>with Phelps retiring, I thought 2020 was going to be his chance for all the gold medals
>turns out Lochte is older than Phelps
>by the time the Tokyo Summer Games Lochte will be 36 years old

SHEEEEIIIIIT

The nightmare is over

Funny how crime follows Americans

kek, gotta make ends meet somehow

What was Michael saying here?

NOT SO FAST

>Campbell x 2 can't save you now

Yeah, he doesn't really seem like such a bad guy, just kind of a dunderhead.

Nope, she's going to retire when she has my babies. Sorry

CAREER

ENDING

PREGNANCY

>How? Who? Get him here.

Actually she's more long distance while Campbells are sprinters

Is he actually retarded?

Seems like he is.

>t. João dos Santos da Silva, IOC Brazil

He may be, but if he had been shot, could you imagine the delicious international incident? He would be a martyr.