One Saturday morning alone

>one Saturday morning alone
>here a knock on the door
>it's a churchfag
>talk to them for a bit
>kept asking me for a donation
>gave them a dollar
>they leave
Every since then they have been coming every fucking Saturday asking for me. HOW THE FUCK DO I GET THEM TO LEAVE ME ALONE?

>gave them a dollar
You done goofed

>open door
>scream hail satan with still bleeding goat head in hand
>slam door
>?????
>profit

I know I fucked up, but everytime I told them that I didn't have any money they kept asking if I was sure that I didn't have anything. It wasn't going to end if I didn't give them anything.

It's real easy you chump, next time they knock on the door just tell them straight up no and tell them you're not interested and then slam the door in their face.

Where am I supposed to get a goat head?

Next time they ring your doorbell dress up in a devil costume, and say nothing but "Hail Satan", also set up a Ouija board and candles.

>they kept asking if I was sure that I didn't have anything
What a bunch of faggots asking "Are you sure?"

Tell them to read the Book of Mormon.
It's religious cryptonite.

Print a piece of paper that says "No Solicitors" and tape it to your door. They wont bother you then.

Get a sign that states "No Solicitors" they can not approach your door any longer.

Giving the Loch Ness Monster a dollar isn't the way to go. Pretty soon he gonna want about tree fiddy.

Will do. Thanks.

Welcome them in with a 12 gauge shotgun in your hands.

Stick a post-it note to your door that says "HIVEMIND".
They will leave you alone after that.

>Solicitors

This.

Gotta watch out for them tricky 4-story tall Lochness monster.

Put up a sign:

"Solicitors not welcome. Soliciting on this property is therefore trespassing. I will physically assault anyone caught trespassing on my property, with every legal right to do so. By knocking on my door, you are signifying that you have read, understood, and agreed to these terms."

Next time they knock, open the door, give them a suckered punch. When they call the cops, point to the sign.

Have boner sticking out thur pee hole in boxers.
Talk to them like nothing's different.
When one of them notice, ask if they could suck the Demon seed out of it

buy a shirt with a swastika or an pentagram and then open the door :^)

...

From a goat

holy shit my sides

The one time my autocorrect had a positive effect