How to not get shit dick after anal?

How to not get shit dick after anal?
Like how do you have your SO clean their asshole an sheet????

Go on a cleanse, only drinking water and eating certain foods. Or Bleach the fuck out of your asshole

Have them do an enema before fucking? If it is done right it'll leave them pretty clean.

Just clean your dick after man.

Not so simple, My dick has a weird ass birthmork on it thatis kinda like another piece of skin and I can't clean that

What do you think ass to mouth is for?

Pink eye?

Use a condom, maybe?

Or just deal with the shit like a real men.

Don't jam it in her eye, dude. That is not a hole.

Don't have a party at shit's house and then get pissed when shit shows up

You can't clean your dick?, you need help. What's wrong with soap and water?

Got em

Unless you prepare beforehand--shower, enema after taking your last shit that was of proper consistency--poop on the dick is just a hazard of the trade.

It's your call. You can either make the arrangements or you can run the gambit of getting shit-dick.

Enema

are you legitimately retarded? I can clean my dick but I don't want to have to spend 30 minutes trying to clean out the tiny ass hole of skin on my dick

Have her or him do an enema beforehand you retard.

>Like how do you have your SO clean their asshole an sheet????

Did you just have a stroke?

Your dick has an extra hole? The fuck? Just duct tape it.

Post sharpie in dickpooper.

Post pic of your second dick hole

this thread is now about this guys mutant dick. lets see it op

SECOND

i won't rest until i see this man's second piss hole.

We call that "foreskin".

i'm circumcised...

We need to see what you're dealing with so we can give good advice.
>post dick pic

Possibly a bit too well if you have a second dickhole.

I'll post in a bit. need to find a good pic on my comp

you get them an enema dumbass...

You have a collection of pictures of your dick on your computer?

How did you manage to make this weirder...

This just keeps getting better

Now THIS is getting inertesting.

I'm hoping future generations will remember me as the guy who made foreskin and circumcision jokes in an epic thread. People all over the world will rejoice as the legends of our times are told over and over again.

Wait till the pic before we start thinking about screen capping

.>Mfw OP has a second hole on his cock

small bottle of water at room temperature, small amount of lube for anal / bottle opening lubrication. not all the water, you don't want niagara shit falls in there. dusche_the_easy_way.bat

Hey, post me in the reddit screencap when this guy posts his second dick hole.

I was here for the original mutant dick thread 9/11 2016 never forget

I wanna see your dickhole.


>IF YA NKOW WHAT I MENA

ScreencapPLS?

Bumping for Blowhole

So uh, I'm quite the anal connoisseur. I mean really. It's my favorite thing about this shit existence. I have it probably more than vaginal.

All the people in this thread saying enemas, are r/sex tier amateur idiots.

Enemas are stupid, messy, strenuous, and unsustainable. You wanna know the real answer?

Fiber.

Seriously super easy. If you teach her to eat like an adult, you'll never, ever, ever have shit on your dick.

And that's a guarantee from a pro kids.

SHOW PENOR FAGGOT

C'mon OP any pic will do

Posting in mutant dick thread

Show your fkn cock and include me in the screencap

ayeeeee girl lemme get dat ass

>shoving your dick up an orifice used solely for defecating
>surprised there is shit

Anal is not natural, kill yourself.

Make sure to get the correct fibre!
soluble fibre, like lentils, beans, and split peas are more helpful than insoluble fibre like wholegrains.

Came for the anal tips, stayed for the mutant dick

Get the fuck out of here Mormon. John Smith motherfucker.

If you are a male you shouldn't have to worry about a little doo on your roo.. Accept the consequence that might or might not happen.. Don't shame the girl and freak the fuck out and make her feel dirty and disgusting. If your eyes notice some poo on your roo while thrusting.. Man the fuck up.. Thrust till he/she cums then politely go take a shower and scrub your dick with soap.

Camera sucks ass and I couldn't find a pic directly of the hole so I took one

I think OP is dead. RIP OP, who was circumcised too many times.

...

Can you shine a light on it and take a new one?

You win

This is the best pic in your entire collection?

It looks more like a massive fucking flap of skin than it does a hole. The doctor that circumcised you really fucked up OP.

somewhat Better pic

Your dick is weird OP, but not bad

fuck wrong one

Can you pee from that hole?

quit doing anal on biker dudes. they always have mud butt

You just have a bad circumcision

yeah pretty much. qt gf likes it though, says it " gives her more pleasure than other guys." Not sure how though??

I think he tripped and landed on a corkscrew.

So you were born with an ear on your dick.

kinda, if I'm going like full force it'll trickle out and once i got an actual stream from it

I WIN AGAIN!

Jesus dick?
Has he come back to take the righteous to heaven oh holy one?

What the actual fuck is this thread.

She's just trying to make you feel better. That makes no sense.

sure, you can say that. My camera is really shitty, might make another thread in a few days with a batter pic. Don't have my phone rn

It's called beeing polite - you don't tell a girl she has saggy tits and a fat ass, therefore she doesn't tell you that your cock looks like a miniature version of a corkscrew.

Cool

yeah probably. but like I said it's a shitty pic

sex is not natural, if you were worthy of creating life you'd do it 'immaculately' like daddy

I think you should make all your friends call you Dolphin now.

Have you considered cutting that shit off?

Hey. Nigger OP. I know you're getting off right now on showing everyone your fucked up dick. But you fucking thank me for actually solving your anal problem ya fuck.

Some already do, different reason though

What is the reason?

rhymes with my name, they thought that was what it was because I have a sort of lisp and am pretty much retarded

Bullshit. It is because you have an underwater rape cave. And a blowhole on your dick.

If someone were to blow into your dick while tapping the hole, would they be able to play you like an instrument?

Not bullshit but I honestly wanna try that now though

Underwater rape caves are expensive as shit to build. Not worth it.

Ha

Tell your faggot boyfriend to do an enema before you ass rape each other you disgusting pillow biting piece of shit.

Dolphinfag

Make it at the time you started this thread on Saturday

Make her use baby wipes; they clean the asshole better than dry TP. Also, use a shit ton of lube. She will hink it's so you "don't hurt her" but really it's so that the shit doesn't stick to your dick.

Who the fuck circumsized you? damn