I'm depressed as fuck about life and I don't know why I'm looking to you guys for advice

I'm depressed as fuck about life and I don't know why I'm looking to you guys for advice

terrible place for advice. i only go on /b when i'm terribly depressed

Kill yourself fag

Have you tried smoking weed? Hehe

Op here
I don't know just real fucking depressed and drunk just need to get my mind off some shit

Hey you're me!

I like this place BECAUSE nobody gives a shit. I can list my incest desires, my older married girl obsession, my dread of social contact, my unsuccessful attempts at forming habits, my fat (apparently very girly and attractive to men (God damn it I want the other way around)) body

And everyone shrugs and says, "literally so? Go an hero and die" it makes me feel good somehow. Like everything will be okay

I used to smoke I've done basically ever know drug know to man beside method and dope I just get too paranoid now I just drink

I'm having a pretty shitty time right now too. I just took a bunch of kratom to relax my nerves and shit. Alcohol makes me too emotional. But what's going on with you? Anything you want to talk about?

>I'm having a pretty shitty time right now too. I just took a bunch of kratom to relax my nerves and shit. Alcohol makes me too emotional. But what's going on with you? Anything you want to talk about?
Aren't they banning kratom? Alcohol making me emotional is good because I never feel like I can do it on my own. It's sort of cleansing in a way

save up enough money for you to go to Burning Man next year, come back a different person

Yeah I moved back to Ohio from Illinois I left everything behind friends and family just so I can get my grandfather's house and I'm starting to regret it

What's so good about burning man the girls probably smell like bug spray, used condoms, and dog shit

Literally so? Still girls...good enough

I kinda like it when girls shower and weren't involved in a hippy gang bang

They are banning Kratom, but I just ordered like4lbs from meridian botanicals.com to stock up. You don't take much, and I don't take it often, so it should last me years. I've been so emotional lately, every day when I go into work my anxiety just goes thru the roof and I'm on the verge of tears all day. I've been so depressed lately and every time I think I'm going to pull thru and be okay, I start losing my shit again. Which just makes it worse you know?

Moving is hard, especially when you don't have any friends there. I get it, I've moved a lot. How old are you? Are you in an area where there's shit to do to meet people? How big is the town?

To each their own but if I can get on a drug fueled organization I might take the first chance to hop on.

You don't HAVE to keep the house do you? It is like beautiful? Or could you sell it in the next couple of years and move back?

Oh my God yes I know exactly! I have a terrible time at work cause there's all this pressure to to good but my the rest of my crew won't follow through. Then there's the over analyzing of people's behavior that fuck me up. Oh I looked at her and she didn't smile this time? She hates me now and so does everyone else. Makes it hard to live a happy life when you're so full of anxiety about everything ALL the time. That's usually when I turn to my vices and lose money and spiral down :(

Drinking only makes it worse..Trust me I've been there glad I quit

But you feel numb for even just a second. You can not think about other people for once and finally just think of yourself. It's like in Futurama when that all knowing robot drinks the booze to kill his brain. I WANT that I think

...

22 and downtown Cleveland I have my mom and dad and my foster bro out here I've made a few friends but I feel like they try to avoid me and shit its just been really fucking tough the last few months I have this problem when I'm out and about that I just get real fucking nervous and anxious it fucking sucks so I spend most of my time here and playing with my cat

This ALSO kills brain cells. So cheers mate!

That's the spirit

drinking made me angry and violent..i vaguely remember threatening random people and coming back home too depressed to even clean puke off my pants..over and over again

Yeah my grandpa in prison for the next 6 years for manufacturing and delivery for pot but I'm living here rent free and bills are paid all the time I'm just hate not fucking working and having a life its has made me fall into a shit hole of depression

Turns out, spending hundreds of dollars to take drugs with a bunch of other lost idiots in the horrible fucking desert makes you wiser person. Aligns your chakras and shit.

Here's a life lesson for you: we're all depressed, we just don't bitch about it like you. You're not alone, most people just keep it to themselves.

Oh God mate I'm sorry to hear that. Drinking forces my emotions to come out to whoever will listen. Usually they bottle up I side but I've realized that while Sup Forums may not listen necessarily I can spew my shit here and it helps me feel better. No matter how depraved my thoughts are it turns into a joke and I can laugh. I mean I love her but I can't be with her ever no matter what and I'm working through it but it's easier when I can post that. I'm sorry you become violent and angry that really sucks (I'm not patronizing I swear on my mother's grsve)

Checked and yeah your a fuckig pusay pick up the bottle again and show it who's the man

Sup Forums is the watering hole for letting your feelings gush out. If you can't do that even here than you are truly lost my friend

There is so much pressure on me right now, I quit my job this spring to work for a friend that I really like to help her get her restaurant started, I told her that I don't have any back of house or baking experience and that she would have to train me. But a 2 months in (and one month after my mom died) she fired her main cook. This is a very small operation. So after she let him go it was her and I there 12-16hrs a day like every day just trying to stay open. And I worked my ass off. But we hit a point where I think we were both so burnt out she just got pissed at me for everything. She corrects every little thing I do and I just constantly feel like Ive failed her. She's not going to ask me to stay the winter I know it. She's been nice to me lately, but I feel like it's because she just knows that she doesn't have to deal with me much longer. I feel awful. So much pressure to preform well, and I'm fucking things up. My coworkers (who are all pet time and she treats them like they're her favorites) know how stressed I am. But they all have tons of experience with restaurant.

Well I got lucky and managed to quit before I do something stupid that can ruin my life. I also had that thing where I start telling people my most private thoughts and that's how I lost some good old friends. Yes, quitting is hard but worth it if drinking brings out the worst in you

Welcome to the club
We're almost all depressed here, that's why we come here
Sup Forums is our drug, and we're all addicted
It makes us feel like we're someone we're not, calling someone a faggot for having shit taste makes me feel good, because deep inside I know I'm the faggot, I'm the loser, I'm nothing
People are out there having fun, enjoying life, chasing their dreams, and here I am, on Sup Forums of all places
Life is crazy

>OP
Depression /x/

Help /advice/

:)

Hey just bring that up to her I've worked in a quite a few restaurants and couple 5 star top tier place and it was hell I never felt like I was pulling my own weight but after awhile I found out its not every man for yourself so just keep pushing g her about it she's a true friend she'll understand

That's the thing for me. I let my friends know my private thoughts and they stayed friends. It was reassuring for me to know that even after spilling (some, not all) of the beans of how much I hate myself and think everyone hates me and passing out in the couch in my own vomit that they still cared was a big breakthrough for me. And they finally got to understand that I wasn't some perfect guy who had it all together. I even told them about the girl I can't be with and they were chill. Mayne my problems are just childish, I'm positive I inflate them 100% more than they really are, but it felt good to get it out.

We don't have the same experience though and It makes me kinda mad because nobody should lose friends after having a bad night.

To be fair, the last time I did whip its I felt completely numb and as close to death as I ever felt and strangely enough, that loss of control, was bliss for me..

At least you're in a city, finding a job won't be too difficult. Your parents are probably wanting to give you some space to find yourself and grow up a bit, your early 20s are the time to make friends and have fun you know? Maybe they're just busy? You should talk to them and tell them how you're feeling, maybe they don't realize that you're down and need them right now. I wish I had been more communicative with my parents the last few years instead of distancing myself and trying to do my own thing. Now that my mom died I'm wracked with guilt, and sadness that she wasn't really able to see how I've grown and who I really am now.

>tfw the internet is my only friend
It only goes downhill from here

We sit here, the sorry lot of us.
Making jokes about things that anywhere else are nearly taboo
Posting porn only one small step away from bringing in the FBI
Laughing at people being maimed and killed.
Why?
Because underneath that thin shell of hate, cynicism, and disregard, lies a broken thing
Cast about in the sea of life, to drift up on it's shores, alone, forgotten.
And sometimes, the shell shatters
The hatred and depression, the sadness, the emptiness, it builds up and bursts forth.
But then we move on.
Back to the rekt thread
Because once we have rebuilt the shell, the carapace, we cannot let our weakness show
Because that is why uncle came in, and came inside.
That is how the depression so bad that you are to apathetic to kill yourself sets in.
Welcome to Sup Forums.

...

See you understand the watering hole of the betas. I don't make others feel bad here because I don't want to hurt anyone. But someone telling me my problems make me a 'faggot' somehow empowers me to try and face them, I think.

Sup Forums is actually a powerful tool for us losers. All you have to do is figure out how you wanna use it

You need to find meaning

You're making a joke but it's so true. We all hate ourselves and this is a gathering place. To let our hate seeth and burn away. To make us feel something other than misery for one moment, even if that means transferring it to someone else

I'm sorry to hearthat about your mom the only thing I have experience is in home remodeling and restaurants

Literally all you have to do is go out and meet good people. Sounds like you're more bored than depressed since you moved.

Unfortunately I did tell her, and it just made it worse, she can be so sweet and tells me a few things that j do great, but they're things a fucking monkey could do. Telling me I deep fried something perfectly isn't a Compliment. Nor is saying I did an awesome Job and rocked the line when it was dead fucking slow and I made like 25 sandwiches all day..... It's like she's trying to make me feel good but it's nothing to be proud of. Does that make sense? She doesn't trust me with a lot of things and never asks me for advice, she ignores me a lot and then kisses her part time employees asses. I feel like everyone I work with knows something that I don't and idk man. I just feel so fucking stupid all of the time.

She has been nice to me for the last few days but the end of the season is near, she's probably just happy to be done dealing/training my inexperienced ass and hire her awesome friends who all have worked in restaurants their whole lives.

I've been bored trust me we've all been there just shits just getting heavy

>Literally all you have to do is go out and meet good people. Sounds like you're more bored than depressed since you moved.
Actually I know plenty of good people. I live with good people. My family is good people. I love her and she's good people with a husband. The problem is; you can't just 'get over' depression. I've tried it. It doesn't work

>depressed as fuck about life and I don't know why
>looking to you guys for advice

You need to start smoking weed.
It can instantly cure depression.
Just try it out.
Thank me later

I smoked only once so far. It was chill and pretty great. Once it was over I went back to my self hating loathsome self

You said you helped her start the restaurant just ask for help and shit I started off as a dishwasher the most bogus job of them all in a restaurant then I ended up as sous chef cuz i all get down with dishes and just watched the chef cook every time I had the chance

Thank you. I was also really mean to her the last few years. She wasn't taking care of herself or my little brothers, she started smoking in the house while my 10yr old bro has Asthma. And he's also type 1diabetic and she would just eat fast food with him all the time. Never cook. I was really hard on her about it. But I did t wa t her to die.... I really didn't. I wanted her to get better. Like she was when I was younger. I wish I wasn't such an asshole. Being her only daughter I know how much she loved me and I was such a bitch to her.

You need to medicate weed only for some weeks

Op here I used to smoke but like I said earlier I've done basically every drung under the sun besides meth n dope i just get super paranoid when I smoke now

I could never image what you have gone through

lol kys fag

You must quit all the other shit that is not good for you,
No drugs
No alcohol
No pills from the doctor
Smoke only weed, eat good food and do some sports

Bet

Well this is her second year in business, but her first year with a legit store front. I'm not interested in being a line cook (it's just like a gourmet sandwich joint, no chefs) but she doesn't trust me to help her with catering events. And honestly my worst habit/trait whatever is my timelines, I'm horrible about timing things and doing things in order that makes sense. And she feels like I just waste time. Which isn't entirely wrong I guess but I don't do it on purpose. She tells me I need to lite a fire under my ass and do the dishes and shit when we close, because I take too long. But the part time dishwasher she hired takes exactly the same amount of time to close as I do and she fucking loves her.

I'm a laborer All I do is smoke cigarettes and drink no time for petty drugs anymore

Sounds like you need to file your life a little better I'm very time oriented

>Alcohol and cigarettes make depression worse

>Pills from the doctor make depression worse

>Weed only cures depression


What would you take if you're depressed?

Drinking more

Dealing with the stress of my moms death and then the stress and pressure of this job. I just can't do it. And now I'm pretty sure that because I suck or she hates me or whatever, I'm going to be unemployed this winter... And that's stressing me out even more. I live in a super small town and I'm afraid I'll go crazy if I don't have work.

I'm a mess right now. Im so fucking depressed j can't focus anymore at work on timing everything. It's taking everything I have to keep it together. And I feel so alone. I thought she was my friend and she never asks me how I'm really doing. I feel like nobody cares.

The kratom helps a bit, I also take valerian root, st.johns wort, and L-theanine for neutral dopamine and seratonin boosters and stabilizers.

Come to Ohio and join the sad people club

Come to Alaska. I know I'm not the only depressed ass up here. At least there's mountains.

Oh and vitamin D

You and I are the same. After my mo.s death everything started to burn down. I've make friends but they hate me (even if they wear they dont) and work is stressful and scary and filled with anxiety. There's this girl that helps me keep it all together at work. But she was weird and a bit off. She didn't even say goodbye to me when she left. And now I feel empty and alone inside, and scared.

Ah don't you get that govmet check for living there

She might have just been having an off day. But I'm glad you have someone to help you get thru the days. I know how much that can help. Does she know/ realize how awesome she is and how much she helps you?

Once a year yea, but we're so far in debt this year the governor put a cap on it so it's only a grand. Last year it was like 1,700? The year before like 900? It's really not like worth it when you realize how expensive it is to live here tho.

Got damn

Idk she's special to me but I don't want to let her know that cause I'm afraid she'd think i was weird. She doesn't know how I feel about myself or my mom's death, or my estranged father issues, or the growing up in a meth fueled home. But she just makes me happy. Part of me feels like it's wrong for it though, so her having an off day unfortunately sends me into a spiral no matter how much I try to throw logic at it. :/

Have you tried hanging out with her outside of work? Find out what she's interested in? Also, being a girl, and knowing that I make someone's day better by just being friendly or whatever really does make me feel good. It's a great feeling,I doubt she would think you're weird...

Unfortunately we are about a decade apart in age and she's married. Don't get me wrong I don't want to be with her or anything. She's just so nice and supportive and happy most of the time, she listens to the things I say and remembers them. She reminds me of a mom I guess, and it's soothing because my mom is gone...i look at her longingly, not because I want to be with her romantically, but because I want my mom back. And that's fucked up right? That would, at best, just make her sad and Maybe confused? Hell I'm confused. I'm happy just having a supportive older friend. (Now I'm thinking this came off creepy, that wasn't my intention...I'm sorry)

this sounds a lot less creepy than you think... if someone told me that what I was doing casually just by being a decent person meant that much to them, and that I was filling a mom-like role to them, I would 10/10 take them out for a milkshake and pizza

It's weird because I thought they were romantic feelings at first but I realized slowly that it wasn't the case. I just wanted a hug and some comfort.

Haha well thanks for not thinking I'm a creep at least. It actually means a lot ^_^

I tend to overtook things and make them out to be negative when there really isn't anything to be found. I know people like me quite a lot (don't know why though) but deep down I just feel like they secretly hate me and wish I would die. Even you, nice person. It's frustrating because no matter how many times I convince myself it's not true it just eats away at me. It sounded like somebody else (Maybe you?) Were going good through a similar pain and I just wanted to say they weren't alone.

Yeah I deal with a lot of the same shit, for some reason I just categorize myself as separate from everyone else and assume they're mostly tolerating me instead of actively enjoying my being there. It's to the point where I prefer being alone because it's just such a relief to not have to secretly ask myself if I'm being annoying or awkward every 5 mins. It sucks, IKTF

It feels so good to actually meet someone else that feels this way. I have family that gives my shit for wanting to be alone or not wanting a relationship right now and guilt trip me because I don't have a girlfriend and it's like "I'm emotionally stunted and unstable I do think think that's best" but they think it's just a 'perception' problem

No that's not creepy at all. You're finding comfort in the kindness of a woman you work with. I totally get it. I've felt similarly before towards a man, not romantic feelings at all, just compassion and comfort.

I guess i get the feeling that if I were to let people know they'd think I was doing it 'to get attention' or that I'm just being a baby but it's hard to shake it unfortunately

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't confusing the two at first though. It took until tonight for me to realize what my real feelings were towards her. It's just so weird to feel that way about someone and they don't even have a clue haha

it was probably MUCH better that you were able to sort that out on your own before letting her know anything about it though, that would have been a lot weirder. Plus it's not like nobody else has ever had a secret unrequited crush... I'm not seeing this as a fuck up at all. You're okay, user.

Not having to ask myself if I'm being annoying or awkward.....
Me... I feel like I'm just such a Debbie all the time my coworkers are over me. I don't want them to feel like they have to walk on egg shells or caudle me. Im just sad. Idk

Here it comes I've had a discussion with you guys and In starting to feel worried. Am I bothering you? Did I mess up? Maybe I said too much? Not enough? You don't have visible names and now I don't know what to say, I'm panicking and starting to freak out. That's how bad this can get

>703452481
Exactly. You can have a friendship with her and even try to do something small outside of work. And it not be weird.

>god damnit dude, relating to this.
MFW when you're depressed and spend most of your time online or vidya accomplishing nothing that registers on normies' smalltalk meters. This ensures you have no answers to the most basic ritual questions any acquaintance asks upon meeting you. Their taste is mostly garbage and nothing that excites you enough to draw you out of your shell is anything they've even heard of. You can't rely on memes or gifs to get your point across, and their in-jokes go over your head because you hang out so rarely.
>me, currently ghosting out on a group of "friends" I don't even like or trust
>random Sup Forumstard understands more than they ever could

This is motherless shitty restaurant employee.
If you were bothering me/us we would not have continued with the convo. Unfortunately I'm falling asleep right now as the kratom is really kicking in so I won't be on much longer before I pass out. But don't worry about it man.
If your anxiety is this bad maybe you should talk to someone about trying to get on some anti anxiety meds or some antidepressants.
I listed the supplements that I take earlier. I try to go the natural route vs. prescription. But it's entirely up to you. Sending love to you user. Times are hard.

Go watch a movie or go to reddit. Or bullshit with friends. Or see a shrink.

Hey thanks restaurant employee! I'm so glad you were able to talk to me about this. Maybe this won't mean much coming from a random person without a name but thank you so much for taking the time to talk. We've all got problems and it was nice of you to hear mine out. Have a great sleep, sorry to hear about the stupid ban on Kratom. Bye! ^_^

you don't really have to worry, chill out. you're fine. worst case scenario, you fuck up on a thread, close it. get off Sup Forums for a little bit, take a shower, go for a walk, get a snack, do something you've been meaning to do... that's it. that's the worst thing that can happen. relax.

that's so very true. I don't know where this adversity to people came from. Like, it's almost amazing that I can start to freak out on a totally anonymous website.

kinda seems like it's a reaction to having Sup Forums as a really important outlet for you? if something means a lot to you and you don't trust yourself, maybe you're scared you're going to ruin that thing by [having your set of problems]. just a guess. but I would strongly consider talking to a doctor about anxiety like other user suggested.

Thays the thing I haven't really even been on /b that long. Maybe a month ago I started posting. This happens with any conversation I have with people in real life or online. I just start to freak out internally after a while. At work people like me I still freak out, family loves my obv still freak out, don't keep in contact with close friends and family because I don't know what to say or how to so I neglect them and feel bad, tried to twitch stream was doing pretty good had an audience and I started to freak out, tried youtube multiple times but I start to freak out, won't draw in front of others because I'll freak out. These aren't outbursts either they are more like in bursts. I'll sit at the top of the stairs at a party because I'll sort of overload and not know what to do/say. I'll use go to responses "that'll do it, oh really, that's awesome" because I won't know how to respond.

It just starts taking a toll after a while. When a large group forms I can be the life of the party for Maybe a few minutes but then expectations, and responsibility to be funny and cool, and then freak out and to the bathroom it is to decompress. If I don't head for the bathroom/upstairs/outside immediately

Naw I just drank more andade some food you good?

do you feel ready to talk to someone about it? like a doctor perhaps? I'm not saying this isn't also a valid coping thing, talk it out on the feels threads, but you might not have to continue to suffer with it if you think you're ready to seek help.

I guess I'd like to but I'm guessing help would be, expensive. And I don't have that kind of money

Kys faggot

Helpful AND insightful

If only we could learn to identify either the hatred or disinterest located with this poster and somehow harvest it; I believe we may be able to find a way to power the world on these feelings alone. I'll call it: Shitpostonium and it shall henceforth power the known world.