Secrets thread!

Secrets thread!

>Give us your best ones anons.

I fucking hate pizza.

what about fucking pizza?

i bump dying threads

I can see that Sup Forums has no secrets.

I got my friends mom pregnant. Neither him, her husband, or my wofe know.

I have hiv an love to have unpretected sex withwoen I pick up at the bar bonus if she has a bf

i went on club penguin and didn't tell my mom

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bmp

he must have some low standards

bump

#rekt

bump

SAGE

story? how did it start?

Moar

I've helped 3 gfs get fucked by a friends dog

Do they not realize that the timestamp is from 2 days ago or am I the retard here?

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Famchan?

n 1999 my sister took my virginity. I was 15, she was 17 at that time. I was a loner and nerdy, she felt sorry for me I guess…
One lonely weekend, parents were nowhere to be found as usual, we got drunk together. Just shooting the shit, her failed relationships, me failing to even get one… by the time we finished the 2nd bottle of wine we pretty much stopped talking and just cuddled on the couch. I can't remember what I asked her at that moment, but instead of an answer she sat up, looked at me, and told me to take off my pants.
"I… what?" was all I could muster.
"Fuck this, it's no big deal…", she said as she slipped off her shirt. She wasn't wearing a bra, so I just sat there and stared at her tits. Unhappy with speed of things she "helped me" out of my jeans and boxers by yanking them off me, knelt beside me and sucked my cock into her mouth. I thought she'd stop once I was hard, but she kept going, eyes closed, seemingly enjoying it. When I told her I was getting close she stopped, got on top of me, aimed the tip of my cock at her pussy and sat down on it. I watched as my cock disappeared in her pussy, then looked up at her. She was looking at me, our eyes met, we hesitated.

hen for the first time in my life I took initiative and went in for a kiss. She returned it, then started riding me. I didn't last very long and came inside her without warning. She was on the pill, so no big deal. We held each other until I was soft again and slipped out. Then we talked. Or rather I asked questions, she answered, demonstrated hands on if necessary. We fucked again afterwards, this time I was in control. We switched positions a couple of times, I don't think she came. I did though, pulled out and covered half her back. She was in the middle of cleaning herself up when we heard keys in the front door.
She slipped out, and we spent the night in our seperate rooms. I couldn't really sleep though, doubt she could.
Next morning: nothing. No awkwardness, no omfg, nothing. We had (good) sex, we both enjoyed it, so we kept doing it for another two years. It stopped when she moved away. She had a couple of failed relationships, then finally seemed to settle down and had a kid.

A few weeks ago she told me she had a breakthrough with her therapist and realized that she won't ever be happy until she is with somebody like me. She broke up with her guy, got her own apartment and asked me to help move her stuff. I replied with "sure, and then you suck me off? ;p", in the typical 'haha totally didnt mean that but if you liked it I totally would' way.
She replied with "ok, do me after? :)"
It escalated rapidly from there. We discovered our kinks and fetishes are an exact match (she's my fucktoy and gets off on pleasing me), we're both consenting adults and single, so why the fuck not?
We're in a long distance relationship right now, every few weeks we see each other, do drugs and fuck our brains out.
Pics related, now and then.

I wanna watch my slut Asian wife get fucked hard by two big black men and for them to make her cum over and over and be filled with their hot jizz.

I was here last night, talked about how my sisters life long married best friend sent me pics a few weeks ago, and how we fucked(sister knew about pics, she even took a few, but not about us actually fucking), also her friend is married.

Anyway was texting late into the night last night, we were trying to meet up to fuck again, but she couldn't get away, fucking sucked, but she kept sexting me, got me off through that, and I apparently got her off too

I got my dick caught in a blender once. It felt great until I went a little too deep.

I knocked up my friend's mom. She miscarried after about two months though. I'm glad for that actually.

i got mine stuck in a waffle iron once

Was she a dude once or is she just ugly?

Clean my penis with Clorox wipes after sex

This is my biggest secret..

>move to a new town for work
>bay area, 2400$ a month for 2 bedroom apt
> bar 100 yrds from apt, start to go
>get obliterated
>meet bar skank, have some amazing sex with her
>catch herp a derp
>depressed for a month cause gf back in town from where I moved
>have seen gf for a month and half
>go back to bar, get shot faced beyond belief
>come up with idea, go to 24/7 store walking home
>buy flashlight and lube
>go into bushes, beat the shit out of myself. Bleeding bad
>lube up flashlight and fuck myself vigorously with it till anus bleeds
>beat the fuck out of myself and throw wallet in the sewer
>tell gf days later I was mugged and raped
>went to theropy (never filed police report cause I was "afraid")

6 years ago and now married, just had a baby a month ago. Her and I got herpes and I have a good life without losing a great women

Why the fuck did you rape yourself with a flashlight if you knew you wouldnt have the police involved? Did you have to show your wife your gaping asshole?

>be 10
>sister 13
>watching youtube videos
>sister puts on karaoke video
>starts singing
>tells me to rape her
>wat.pdf
>"how do I do that?"
>"I don't know just copy what they do on TV"
>retard me thought rape was when you beat somebody up and have sex with them while they're unconscious.
>hype myself up
>sister still singing
>slug her as hard as I can in the side of the head
>she cries, sent to room
>realise she wanted me to rate her singing.
>Never tell anybody the real reason I punched her

Actually yes I did

I needed her help taking care of it "it's better to be honest up front than have you're wife find out and ask"

If the police were involved they would done a rape/ dna check. How the fuck would I explain my own semen in my ass of i was raped??

When I was 10 I was staying the weekend at my cousins house cuz my parents were gone. His parents also had plans and so they left me and my younger cousin in the care of my 15 yr old cousin. I was bored completely the first day cuz my little cousin was to little and my older cousin ignored me. The second night I couldn't sleep. I was sleeping in my little cousins room and he was sleeping in the living room in front of the TV. I snuck out of his room and wandered into my aunt and uncles room. I started goin thru her dresser and I found her lingerie. I was curious so I tried on a lot of it to see. I must have been laughing to loud cuz my older cousin comes in and asks me what I'm doing. I freeze in the position I was in which was bent over with my butt facing the mirror and my head down so I could look at my butt. I was wearing a thong of hers and was to big for me so I you could see my everything. I started to tear up but my cousin comes in and shuts the door and says it's ok and I can keep trying stuff on if I like. I get happy and I keep trying stuff on in front of him. At some point he took ou his penis and started stroking it. I asked what it was. He told me it was his "thingy" and looking at me in those clothes made it stand up like this. I didn't really know what he was talking about but I thought it was funny and I started to play around and jump and dance naked in front of him. At one point I bent over with my but facing him and spread my butt cheeks. I have no idea what compelled me to do it but I did. He started moving his hand faster and I asked if I could touch his thingy. He taught me hold to hold it and how he like it stroked. After a few minutes of me using my hand he asked if I would want to try sticking it in my mouth. The idea really didn't appeal to me so I shied away and said I don't know while still playing with him. He was breathing faster and said if I put it in my mouth for just a little bit I could keep an outfit I liked from his moms panties

ALMOST did that same thing myself.

My coke habit is ruining my relationship. I always manage to fall back into it and I can tell she's losing her patience. I'd be crushed if she left me, but stopping gets tougher every time.

>fucking my ex
>intentionally eating the pussy badly
>have history of being good at that shit
>Fuck that tho she's an ex she'll just have to try harder and harder doing crazier shit for me to try to convince me to actually give a shit
>never-ending escalation/payback to an ex while getting easy lay

>mfw it's fucking working

This is a real awkward situation, how do you handle it?

I decided this was a good trade and hesitantly put his penis in my mouth. It tasted weird but it wasn't that bad. He told me to suck on it like candy and wiggle my tongue. As soon as I wiggled my tongue his dick started twitching and he was pushing into my mouth a little. Then I felt a warm thick liquid fill my mouth. I had no idea what had happened but I was looking to him to see how I should react and he looked happy so I figured it was supposed to happen. I swallowed what was in my mouth cuz I didn't know what else to do. I asked him what that was he said it was stuff boys make when you make them feel really good. I felt proud of myself because I had impressed my older cousin. He asked if I was sleepy I said no. He said he could make me feel good to if I wanted him to. I asked how and he said I'd have to trust him. I did trust him so I said ok but I want to pick the panties first. He laughed and said ok. I picked a whit lacy thong type thing that only stayed on if I held them up. He told me to sit on the bed and spread my legs. I giggled and said no but did as he asked. He put his head between my legs and licked me. He was right it felt weird but in a good way.vagtercawhile he said he was tired and wanted to sleep and we could play this game more tomorrow but should sleep in rooms we were supposed to. This seemed right to me and I went to bed thinking about what happened that night. I touched myself for the first time that night. And that's how I started a relationship with my older cousin. We continued on till I was well in my twenties. He introduced me to sex that weekend to. My fondest memories of my sexual encounters.

Kekd the rekd

This is some funny shit. Winrar.

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I hate to do this because story is good but tits or gtfo

Ahahhahahaah

Either you get sober or she grows a spine. One of the two should happen.

It must be pretty cool fucking goddamned skeletor

I hope she gets recognized in public so I can make her suck his cock while I fuck her from behind.

I cum buckets to my daughter's nudes that have been exposed on the internet.

Haha ive fucked your daughter and jizzed on her face faggot

you monster

I've fucked you and jizzed in you mouth faggot.

I fucked my cousin before we knew we were cousins

I came out to my whole family in high school and caused my family to fall apart cause my dad didn't want a gay child under his roof so my mother left him because he couldn't put his anger aside.
Now in college I find out im not gay but I can't tell my family so im stuck in a gay love less relationship with my boyfriend. Now I'm constantly going out and cheating on him with random girls.

did u still fuck after you found out?

>Now in college I find out im not gay

I envy my friends who always get what they want all the fucking time...i just found out that my friends getting laid by a pretty decent 6/10 chick.

I'm a principal at a high school/ middle school I look for nudes on students phones when I confiscate them I have a very large collection of pics and videos.

My cock is less then average so when a girl asks to see a dick pic on snapchat i google "Big Cock snapchat nude"...but i actually fap and send a video of that but send perfect pics of other guys cocks?

Is that Gay? Or win?

I committed the Whitechapel murders back in '88.

18+ i hope

I've killed a homeless man in self defense when he tried to attack me with a knife, and never told anyone about it

How are u alive doc?

"Self defense"

now that's original
good for you, you unfaggot beautiful user

Thanks user

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I'm your basic pretty boyjock. I was a the best football player in HS, now I run my father's company, make a shit ton of money, girls throw themselves at me blah blah blah you get the point. I have declined every girl that has approached me. I decline them because I have no sexual feeling for women. The only girl that I will have is an anime chick. Anime chick's are perfect where as real girls are nothing but drama and a burden. No one knows I watch anime let alone hentai. I'm 26 and have the choice of many women and I turn them down instantly. I pray for the day that someone will build androids that can look like whatever you want. I will make her look like my dream anime girl and download all the anime I have into her memory so I can make the perfect waifu.

I am annoyed by all the posts about black dudes and traps on here. It's all gay porn now and stupid black people. I don't care about black dudes dating white women at all. And I put peanut butter on my dick and let a dog lick it, it wasn't really enjoyable so busted a nut on the dogs face and left.

i am Badman

>be me ~22 y old
>get frequently high on those "spice" fake weeds, always get super horny
>late evening
>10 y old sister in her room
>she sleeps like a fucking log
>sneak in, touch, kiss and lick her feet while masturbating
>cum buckets
>repeat for several days
>one time move my hand too close to her crotch, apparently
>she wakes up
>wooopsohfuck.png
>mumble something about just petting the cat and leave
>she never told anyone
>she sleeps with a night lamp on ever since
>20 now
>mfw

I once killed a man in his sleep with his own mustashe and a grape

details or gtfo.

my secret is that I almost kill 4 people I had 17 and someone stole my gf cellphone and stab her so I track the phone find the guy fight with him broke his arms and legs and tell him that I was going to kill his family next he started to cry and said please forgive me for some reason something snap in my brain when I recover conscious I had my hand covered in blood and he was in the floor not moving I ask him where was the cellphone he says please don't I don't want more please then I realize the blood in my hands was because I destroyed his eyes and ears I felt guilty so call the police something gets wrong and friends of the thief came here first they shot me and then I wake up in a hospital just to know I left 4 people in bed for the rest of their life some part of me want to do it again and that make me feel like a bad person

It's probably pasta
but it's sooo delicious pasta

I raise and sell kangaroos illegally in the US. Made a lot of money tax free so far. Don't plan on stopping anytime soon.

I like to keep long threads under my foreskin and then slowly pull it out after an hour or so without pulling the skin back. the feeling is a weird mixture of very minor pain and pleasure.

I put the long and skinny part of pen caps up my nose to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling.

...

Go tell your dad you got enough dick for one lifetime.

I've had weird urges like that.
Never acted on them though.

i know that feel

That's because you're a low testosterone femboy. Always act on your sexual desires, it's how we're wired to be. I won't date a girl unless she knows I hump around on the side.

Found this pic of friend

How do you raise/transport without anyone knowing?

Ever tug on your foreskin super hard just before/during orgasm? Feelsgoodman

I own a large plot of land that goes ignored. As for transportation, I drive them In a van. I will not fly them because of the risk and I want them to stay healthy. I have driven (or had driven for me) around 80-100 so far. I've made around 300k the last 2 years

Honestly I don't want to talk to my father or have anything to do with him. I only regret it because of my mother and my siblings I ruined their lives but I don't care about my father.

How many guys have you fucked?

Win

7 but I let 3 others suck my cock. Most of them were in high school.

Shit that's pretty good. Sell for eats or what?

My best secret

every once in a while

Not pasta I'm op. The next day I was excited to play the game with him I wanted to start right away so after he poured everyone cereal I asked if we could play that game with our thingies again. He look terrified and look at his brother who wasn't paying attention to us.he said well talk about it later. I thought I did something wrong. After break fast I ran back the room I slept in. I didn't cry but I was mopey thinking we weren't gonna play. His little brother burst in super excited and said he's going to go play at his friends house. He grabbed some toys and ran out calling my older cousins name. My older cousin came in and said the game is secret between us cuz we were such good cousins and that he's gonna walk his brother over to the friends house so we can play. I got super excited I jumped up and gave him a big hug. He cupped my butt when he hugged me, for some reason it made me smile.when he left I darted to my aunts room and started looking for things to try on. I put on the panties I took the night before but since they wouldn't stay up I decided they were last. My aunt had big boobs but I tried puttin one of her bras anyway. I played with the straps a little and managed to get it to stay on. I then went through the shoes in her closet I picked her tallest heels and put my feet into them. I walked over to the panties and pulled them up an sat on her bed. When he got home he found me in her room and I stood up to show him my outfit. In the heels, too big bra, and panties that don't stay up, I'm sure I looked ridiculous but he smiled and clapped and said I looked very pretty very grown up. I went to hug him and my panties fell off. I went to get them but he stopped me. He said it was ok he'd start the game this time. He started touching my pussy and rubbin my nipples. I giggled and squirmed but I liked how it felt.i asked him if he could put his tongue there again. H licked me all over and focused on my tiny hole. After what felt like awhile.

Pets, I raise and tame them

I get off on forced sex. My girlfriend is too submissive so she let's it go when I get 'carried away'. She thinks it's okay and I know it's not. I don't value her at all and just think of her as a scale of happiness tokens that I have to do every week to keep her happy.

That's how you should do it, give something, appreciate her, have it come back. But I don't, I just do or give things with or for her either because I enjoy it myself and it's a cop out to keep her happy, or it shuts her up for the week.

I like the game of manipulating women into falling for me but as soon as I have them they're just trash, they're boring, whiny and full of insecurities I cannot stand.

The way my papa taught me.