ITT adult advice
Spread some solid advice for surviving in the cruel world out there (I'm feeling a bit scared).
Also I want to warn you that if you've ever heard
>"how to get revenge on someone - if you slash all four tires on their car, that's covered by insurance, but if you slash only 3, then they have to pay out of pocket"
, that is pure fucking bullshit.
Found it the hard way; rent is more important than weed
if you really want revenge on someone, put WD-40 on their back tires' breaks.
But if you get caught, it'll probably be attempted murder, even though it shouldn't kill them
real solid advice?
be patient as fuck. drive slow. speeding gets you maybe 5-10 mins faster to where you want to be TOPS. 5-10 mins ain't worth shit. it ain't worth that ticket, that accident, that insurance premium increase, or the cost of repairs.
drive slow, go slow, take a deep breath, and remember 5-10 minutes ain't shit.
Be u self
more advice?
Everyone's out to scam you, get your money, or do something to fuck you. Not actually everyone, there are probably nice people out there, but there are a lot of people out to scam you, so be wary of it. Someone might get offended or something at you checking on their work, but hey, protect yourself first. If they aren't actually an asshole they'll be okay with verification. If they're not, they're probably scamming you. Fuck those people.
Remember, if you get scammed, robbed, or what have you, the law can't help you most of the time. Just be prepared and try not to let it happen in the first place.
more advice.
women are overrated and overvalued in today's society. Don't bend over backwards for a woman. If that's what you have to do to get her attention, that's what you'll have to do to keep her attention, and no woman who demands that is worth your time.
find a girl who's willing to be your equal. Find a feminist, not a feminazi. Feminazi's are scum.
Passion + monetization = success, either one by themselves will lead to ruin.
Eat well.
Learn to make good meals for yourself (and others), those kinds of skills go a long way.
Do your best to stay out of debt. Stop caring so much about what other people are doing, just live your own life.
Make sure to be careful putting things in your asshole, use lube and don't over do it.
A loose butt is no good .
try to eat healthy. try.
work out. even if just walking.
stay out the sun. it will age you fast.
live below your means. this will give you a buffer zone of risk.
read every contract before you sign it. dont be lazy.
wear a condom every time. its not fun, but its better than dying early from AIDS.
and dont get married.
that last one is super important. nothing above that matters if you get married. when you get married, you're literally giving away your rights to the quality of your life.
those are all practical advice. but you can always go deeper.
>pic not related.
>women are overrated and overvalued in today's society.
solid advice.
old fag by any chance?
πΏπππ ππΎππ ππππππππ» ππ½ππ πππ πππ ππΎπΈπ ππ» ππΎππΎππ
>try to eat healthy. try.
Seriously, start now. The older you get, the easier your health goes to shit.
I'm a pretty fit guy, never been fat at all, grew up doing sport etc.
Yet I got kidney stones from eating too much fast food and not drinking enough water for like a year.
Holy shit this actually seems like good advice. Thank you anons, I'll keep this stuff in mind
the problem with this advice is that you may not kill the faggot you want revenge on, but the faggot you want revenge on can kill an innocent person who had nothing to do with your shit revenge plans.
ignore this shit advice user.
grow a nice garden, it works relaxing and you'll get bragging rights for it.
Build a lifetime friendship with a lawyer and an business accountant.
Buy a plunger before you need a plunger.
This is golden
Keep Β£100 (or $100, whatever) in an account separate to your current account and all other savings/rent accounts etc. so you can't spend it accidentaly. At some point you're going to need it.
Drink water.
Stop eating fast food.
Get a hobby that requires strenuous physical activity, it doesn't have to bee competitive or even involve other people if you don't want to. I go hillwalking and do HEMA.
Stop sitting down so much. Your spine will thank you later.
Learn the value of a tidy kitchen.
this is true faggot
At work always I MEAN ALWAYS be nice to the cleaning/security staff. They have lots of good info.
Learn to code - any language. I will help you in numerous ways.
Always leave for work/a meeting 5-10 minutes earlier than you wanted to. In case you forget your keys or there is traffic you'll have a chance to catch up.
Try using sambal sauce as your side sauce to some dishes. Chili contains capsaicin which is dissolvable in oil and it helps curing/weakening cancer.
If you want to relax put on some 432Hz music from youtube. 432 Hz is a very good frequency for the human body, all programs in tv and radio are set to 440Hz which may cause destabilisation in water management.
If you really know you're get a really bad hangover after a really hard drinking take a painkiller and chug ~400ml of water before you sleep. Just dont do it too often because your liver wants to live (pun not intended).
As sports I'd recommend fighting - whatever kind. I trained melee weapons and bare handed and I gotta say they're pretty useful. Not just because of good physique but they also boost your courage and weilding swords gives you some idea of the importance of life. (or maybe I'm just retarded).
Try to dress formally as your casual uniform. When wearing formal clothes there's no place they won't let you in.
Gl&Hf
Keep a clean house. Dishes get washed, laundry goes in hamper, toilet and shower stay clean, clutter gets put away. It'll keep you happier and make a better impression on unexpected guests.
Enjoy your work
Never underestimate how easy it is to offend someone
The worse case scenario is having a job where you're bored
Bitches love money. So go and earn it, the bitches will come later
Only 20% of intelligence is inherited, the rest is up to you.
So read a book niggers
family is the top priority on relations list. Everyone is out there to fuck you somehow, your family is there to support you (most probably)
Life is luck.
But if you put yourself in positions where you have a chance to be lucky, then your chances of getting lucky increase.
Try to remember people's names, you can remember so much stupid shit. Focus niggers
>Spread some solid advice for surviving in the cruel world out there (I'm feeling a bit scared).
1) Anyone can make it. You might not get what you want, but if you work hard, and make halfway decent choices, you can pay rent and maintain the basics.
2) Failure is a part of life. I can't stress this enough. I remember when I got out of school, I was cold calling agencies / studios in the bay area. I had one guy just start laughing at me..
>user, there are 50,000 artists between here and Oakland - why should I hire you
It really hurt to hear that, and I was fucking scared. I didn't even have an art degree. My portfolio was shit, and looking back all I did was waste interviewers time.
But I got a job as a secretary, and kept applying and working on my portfolio. I put myself out there, and eventually got more and more assertive. I saw a job opening at a small agency - and the owner had written this sort of stupid blog post. I jumped on it, gave my own opinion and ended up arguing with him back and forth. Eventually he was like "why are you bugging me"
>I want a job
oh... ok, and I got hired. It sucked, was horrible and he eventually fired me. But I had that first "agency" job now, and it opened up doors.
>don't procrastinate
>work as hard as you can
>don't ever allow yourself to feel sorry for yourself
Also, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die...
Fuck fat bitches. They are cock gobbling monsters
Seriously. Take pussy when you can get it.
neat advice. im remembering these.
Apply stosism to ya life.
cont.
3. realize your parents are just people. You are old enough to be a parent yourself. Imagine if yo u had kids, how fucked up it would be. That is what your parents were like. No one knows how to be a fucking parent. They all fuck things up. They are just normal people, doing their best. The sooner you can realize that, the sooner you can come to terms with any baggage you carry, and start being your own person.
4. Enjoy your 20s. They are confusing, but really fun. Once you "figure it out", you end up with a job, steady girlfriend, 3 weeks vacation a year, etc. There are worse things to do than walk around the city because you don't have work. Or meet new people. Or go to burningman, or some hippie campout, or apunk show or whatever is out of your comfort zone.
5. Haters gon Hate. I wish I had learned much earlier about the things I "hate". Most of them came from some sort of fear. Many of the things I "hated" ended up being things I liked later on in life. If you don't like something - or it really gets under your skin - pay attention to that. If I see someone doing something I hate, its normally because I do it myself.
more cont.
If you smoke weed more than 1x a month itd too much and you should change the people who you hang with
Dont fuck up your back. It happens even if you are cautious like me and you will be fuckd.
Drugs are fun, pick your moment. Only do them when you know and trust everyone.
Most uppers give you anxiety
The easiest way to wipe your ass is by lifting up your balls and wiping left to right
Trust me, it saves time
he never said it wasn't faggot
Dr.Phil-kun~~~
can confirm this. be nice to security.
i've worked as security for 10+ years now, if you're rude to me and you ever need my help unlocking your apartment/finding something you lost/information on services, i'll play dumb and say i cant help you.
if you're polite and respectful, i'll bend all sorts of rules to help you out of jam.
also, pro:tip. if you ever need a new dealer, talk to a security guard. we know fucking everybody.
brilliant
6. Watch and try. Talent Borrows, Genius steals. Not sure how to do something? Find someone who does it, and mimic them. Even if it feels weird, or stupid. it is hard to do, but it opens doors. Jealous of someone? Copy them. Talk to them. Become friends with them. Find out what they do
7. be able to laugh at yourself. You will fuck up CONSTANTLY. Say the wrong thing. Embarrass yourself. Shit your pants. If you can say
>I'm sorry - I shouldn't have treated you that way
>I'm sorry - that was inappropriate
You are miles ahead of most people
If you can embarrass yourself, and laugh it off the next day as a learning experience, you are in a league of your own. I didn't learn to do that shit until my late 30s
heh. fuck now I'm reading all my posts in dr. phil voice. I hate that faggot.
8. ... drugs aren't that great. source: alcoholic and recovering heroin addict. If you can do em, that is awesome. If you are like me, get help sooner rather than later.
for godsake stay in school by any means necessary.
oh and dont get some gutterslut pregnant
9. clothing is just a uniform. it isn't your fucking identity.
10. If you are bi-curious, fuck around when you are young. young bi guys have lots of options older bi guys don't. You are in demand.
11. Always put one in the brain.
thats all i got.
revenge is not adult behavior.
Fucking this. I'm 27 and have had two spinal surgeries and I'm going to have to have a third either later this year or first of next. Take care of your back, always lift with your legs never your back.
fyi the Hz things is a hoax. it just is.
>married
If you have a long term gf get married. It helps with taxes, accounts and its good to have some one who can act on you behalf.
THAT BEING SAID: CHOOSE CAREFULLY
>never confuse good pussy for wife material
>if she cheated on her bfs growing upshe will cheat on you.
>if she has a bunch of guy friends, dont stress. If she always has NEW guy friends its a bad sign.
>if she bitches about you not spending money on her, ditch her
>if you see her lie to her friends, she will do the same to you
and NEVER EVER ignore things that you consider a red flag
when the relationship is over, leave. I would have saved myself so much grief if had done that.
Order used books from Amazon
This.
Also, from the late great Terry Pratchett:
If you trust in yourself. . .and believe in your dreams. . .and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.
rofl
Don't get into physical fights. There are too many things that can go wrong and fuck your life up long term. (arrested, dental work, lawsuit, killing someone who falls and hits their head the wrong way). Just walk away.
Only fight if you are 100% sure you will win without getting hurt. All (non-starving) predators follow this principle and most thugs/fags hanging around operate on this principle as well.
Yep.
Get used to none of your best efforts to revolutionize this or that thing amounting to jack shit, because in reality it takes more than one person to accomplish anything, and what those people really do not like most is someone coming along and overturning the applecart making more work for them.
If you chase two rabbits, you catch neither
Trying is the first step towards disappointment.
Tertiary Education only allows you to apply for the job that requires it. It won't guarantee you anything except for a student debt.
Don't be an asshole. It's fine going online and shitposting everywhere, nobody gives a fuck when you're user. When you're an asshole anywhere else, even a likeable Dennis the Menace asshole, you're going to lose any support you've built over the course of your life. Don't be a fucking saint. You don't even have to be nice to people, but be polite, be considerate, and for fucks sakes fucking learn how to work well with others.
tl;dr oldfag that's almost shot up every office he's worked in because people are self absorbed assholes
Get used to being alone.
Thanks a lot user.
How old are you anyways?
You're missing the point. Even if you "win" there are still consequences that are not worth whatever trivial shit it was to cause the fight in the first place.
This. You will always be alone, even when you think you are not. Also, (metaphorically) buy a plunger before you need one.
- don't get revenge. that's the way or morons. get justice.
- if you suck at life, it's your own fault for doing it wrong. stop being a crybaby and blame others.
- exercise. want to get a 10/10 girlfriend or boyfriend? so does everybody else. lower your standards or rise to the challenge.
- fuck human rights. you don't have the right to anything. you have the freedom to pursue personal benefits at the cost of responsibility.
- unemployed or not, get a hobby that involves leaving the nest, doesn't involve staring at the computer screens and or japanese culture.
- to have 50% chance of getting laid, just follow these three steps:
>don't be a douchebag
>be hygienic/proper
>be positive
even an mediocre looking guy can get laid. if you don't. you're doing one (or more) of those three rule of thumbs wrong.
- leave the internet at the computer. talkign about memes & Sup Forums will only makes you appear autistic and/or socially awkward.
- avoid drugs. it doesn't matter what you or your friends think, society in general views people who use drugs as untrustworthy losers. drugs might fuck up relations, employment and your health. if you think this is a price worth paying, don't come crying later because society is mean
But do we really care about the innocents? They obviously have bad luck so it's just ending it early for them.
Wannabe cop detected, security are scum
This is from one of the best posts I've seen on Sup Forums
Most workplaces I've worked at actuall got seceretaries to review video surveleince to make sure security didn't steal anything
Solid life advice from someone 1/3 through life that's been nothing but shit
Bamp
bbump
I remember this, truly educational.
don't die pls
1) putting your bank in "bank investments" will only make you lose money. either invest, or just store it.
2) subscriptions (netflix, spotify) are like MLM.
they are made to appear small, but each of them adds up to ~100+ dollars a year.
that is a fucking lot, if you do the math.
3) small costs add up very quickly. a few small extra items at each shopping and boom you have no money left on your account
4) loans will always fuck you over.
in Europe you can get 0% loans but even some of those are shady.
AND, 2. also applies here. "it's only 20$ a month and it's a new phone".
Trust me, you will not have that 20$.
5) IT is no magic job. If you become a networking guy / sysadmin, you will spend your life in a basement like room with smelly people (not kidding, IT crowd show was really spot on). the pay is shit, and you work all day, all night, all year. seriously.
If something makes you unhappy (your weight, your job, your love life) don't bitch and whine about it to everyone around you, do something to at least show to others you're actively going out your way to change it.
Save a minimum of 10-15% of every penny you earn. Keep it in a separate account. You'll need to dip into it on occasion but that's exactly what it's there for. Never grudge having to do this. It's smart to save money, it's stupid to hoard it and ring-fence it off to yourself.
The first three weeks in the gym are the hardest, your body will tell you it's tired and doesn't like this new routine, once you're over that hill it's easy. Similarly you'll have days you just can't be bothered going to the gym....defy your brain and go, once you're there you'll be surprised how okay you are with it.
Oh, and never do cardio with a chest cold or infection, that shit weakens the heart chambers significantly. Someone once told me the best way to clear a chest infection is to run through it, that's bullshit.
Oh and take care of your back for fucks sake. Take it from a man of 32 with no history of excessive back issues, it only takes one bad lift or heavy day at work and you're fucked. I needed a microdiscectomy to remove part of my disc after fucking it up and it's been 15 months between working through the pain and recovery from surgery. Only now am I back on a close to level playing field.
.
6) IT / Programming: It's no magic either. Not everyone earns a 6 figure salary, and even if would do, you spend ALL your day in your chair. And it's not shitposting. There are meetings, there are deadlines, and you are not there to browse Sup Forums, you have to deliver.
Working 12 hours a day each day is really fucking tiring, even though you just sit on your ass, it makes you feel like dogshit.
7) Never buy newer diesel cars, they all start to fail around 100/125k miles. Just buy petrol, or an older diesel if you like them so much.
Well, fuck me, can't recall anything else for now.
>The first three weeks in the gym are the hardest
> tfw when job made it impossible to workout
> tfw stopped working out
> tfw can't get back to it
how do start working out again? ;_;
Women, respect your man.
Men, love your woman.
your problem is this > " ;_; "
...
Always be able to control yourself
Wish my fucking roommate would learn this shit.
He gets scammed by every fucking thing on the internet.
He's been catfished at least 4 times in the 3 years that I've lived with him, and now he thinks youtube is going to teach him how the stock market works.
Advice: lay low Joe.
This guide is an excellent read. especially if your'e an basement dwelling lardass lloking to clean up your act and join the rest of the world...
ulrikbrask.dk
...
And get a decent one. Those rigid ones from the dollar store are shit.
Stop being a pussy and go?
Sign up for a 24 hour gym and go in at like 10 or 12 at night
youtube.com
Kid was trying to pull a stump with his back...
This guy is definitely an adult that's been through some shit and thought deep about how to overcome.
Solid fucking advice. Especially women - be with a woman that's easy to get on with, anyone else will drain your patience until eventually you're sick of all the effort you have to sustain 24/7.
If she ain't interested in the true you, she ain't interested. If you have to try too hard she's not right for you.
Also sex with someone like that, someone you truly love, is 100x better than sex with an arbitrary 10/10.
Unless you have snakes:
youtube.com
It only helps if your household will be making less then 100k
Get into prostate play while you're young
shit advice.
As someone earier said - avoid fights.
This is very very important.
In anger or while drunk.
Fucking avoid it.
So be it if everyone thinks you are a pussy. But the thing is - it might save a life. Yours, his / hers. Human body can tolerate much and be fragile at the same time. An unlucky hit in the chest can break a rib and that rib can go through a lung. An unlucky hit right in the nose can shatter the bones and they can poke an eye out. An unlucky hit to the knee can break the man's leg forever. Pretty much any hit anywhere to the body can criple the person. Not even mentioning unlucky falls that can result in death of paralyze the body.
People that have not done any fighting arts are not really aware of it.
It is not worth it. You cant be a badass in your GFs eyes if you land in prison or criple the guy.
Also, never ever try to solve an argument while drunk. Fuck that.