Okay, so the iPhone 7 is coming out soon. We need to think of some bullshit rumour for people to kill their phone with...

Okay, so the iPhone 7 is coming out soon. We need to think of some bullshit rumour for people to kill their phone with, any ideas?

Bumping for interest

Has a built in privacy setting, so when the phone is put on silent mode, your search's and web page visits arn't sent to the search engine data bases.

pedo bears get rekt

Eh, we can do better than that.

>no headphone jack

At a certain point they're prancing themselves

iPhone seven can safely be dropped onto concrete from heights at 5 ft

To conserve battery, leave in the freezer over night. That way the power isn't wasted on trying to cool down the phone.

Lightning port also doubles as 3.5mm port. Just have to push hard.

To get a better 4G connection when out on the streets, you need to move your hand out the way of the signal. If you throw your phone up by 6-8 feet safely, then that will be just long enough to secure you a stronger connection.

Claim that the 3.5mm port is still in the model, its just covered up by the case. Say something like its left there for testing devices when the iphone needs to go back to get repaired.
Then give people instructions on how to get to it, whether thats between taking the case off somehow or drilling a hole at a specific location.

...

Tell them it can be charged through the headphone jack

this is dumb as fuck, no one's going to go get a drill has to use something everyone has.

how about to activate the water resistant coating, you have to put it in boiling water for several minutes to create the necessary seal?

Tell them that its waterproof by default.

It is.

bumperinos

Tell them its now durable enough to survive a fall from 20 feet.

iPhone 7 can be charged using a toaster

Good.

Resistant to water means you can fully submerge your iPhone 7 in a tub.

Oh

Waterproof phones are bullshit. I tried taking a video underwater with mine and it fucking died immediately because of water damage. Tell people the new iPhone 7 is waterproof and watch how many people start throwing a fit that their phone is already dead.

and while you're in there, why not make some toast?

good idea!

funny but it might not totally ruin it


keep thinking people

I'd say it's water resistant not water proof I doubt it'll survive 9 hours of charging while in the water

Tell them that the lenses on the back of the 7 plus can be switched. Make up some reason why that would be useful. Like better zoom or some shit.

iPhone 7 can have its battery life extended by bending it

It's as waterproof as an s7, which is pretty good.

Stupid.

and on that note say the water electrolytes help with charging? so charging while in the water makes it stronger and less "dehydrated" feeling of the phone?

I kinda like this one

Combining both.

Toast it, because warmth extends metal, so more there's more space to store electricity

Samefag


Can't deny those trips though.

Tell them it's waterproof

Tell them that the iphone 7 is laced with some kind of protective sheet and that if it falls in mud or something you rinse it off with water. Make sure to say that the ports are also waterproof.

It fucking is

Say it has no headphone jack.
Kappa

Holy shit they fucking are

WAAAITT! LET'S SAY IT'S FIREPROOF!

YES, this one is actually decent

Underrated post

How about we say that you can bend it without causing any damage.

we could say it can survive being run over by a car.. yes?

Ok, people.. let's innovate from fire.

Underrated post.

Fire hardens the metal alloy and screen making it more durable. Idk could work.

Due to Samsung's phone's blowing up, apple have decided to make their phones fireproof. It can resist up to 200 degrees celsius in water.

Seconding this.

good...

I found the faggot.

Make a rumour that the 7 uses the same battery as the new samsung note

The ports aren't dipshit, you put water directly in the port it's going to fuck it up

Let's say it has a new instant charge battery and 30 seconds in the microwaved will fully charge it

The screen can still crack from fall damage but will never scratch.
Not even a razor slicing with 100 lbs of pressure will damage the screen. It's Japanese compound glass.

I like this fire theme. We need this.

This

this.

Dialing #8989 sends a signal to bapple servers for a free upgrade to the latest OS.

We already did that though.

What a retard. And why the fuck don't you own a drill? Are you gay?

Guys, guys, guys... it's all up to the guy who can make the most convincing looking official image from Apple with the inforamtion they like best.

anyone read my post yet or no?

If you press the home button down hard enough the seal will break and it will be exactly like the home button on previous models

No its not. Its water resistant..

They won't honor a warranty exchange from liquid damaged phones.. its splash proof at best.

It's water resistant, not water proof.

The iPhone 7 warranty doesn't cover water damage.

A great way to get people to break their phones is to just tell them they can go swimming with it or something.

Just a little bit of liquid in the phone is enough to fuck it up. Even if it doesn't immediately I'm sure it will slowly corrode the components inside.

BUMP FOR THIS
UMP FOR THIS
MP FOR THIS
P FOR THIS
FOR THIS
OR THIS
R THIS
THIS
HIS
IS
S

Only if someone could make a fake video of putting an iPhone 7 on fire safely.

This post was probably made by apple knowing most of its customers are stupid consumer whores that'll break their new phone then cry untill they buy a brand new one
>greedyjew.jpeg

I just did this and now my iPhone won't work right, what you do faggot?

bumpd

This but include the fall damage.
Use a hammer.

Pretty much.

lets kill the iphone 7 by not giving apple free advertising.

>we
newfag

We will now call iBanana 1

checked

no

Let's tell them the iPhone can use the Peltier-Effect to charge the battery. Therefore you have to heat up the back of the phone to 150°C for one hour.

Checkd

Just an idea using the fire one but lets be creative here. So here goes "If you scratch your phone or crack the screen, putting it inside fire for about 30 seconds will cause the material to fill in the gapes and fix the issue" tho the wording must be different but i hope the idea is clear for you

Chucked

Good one.

200 C in water.
I hope you know water starts to boil and evaporate at 100 C. Unless you have a industry grade pressure cooker or a boiler you're not going to get your water up to 200 C.
That being said, 100C would fuck some of your components up, and being in water at that temperature is is enough to kill the phone dead.

>200 degrees
>water

Choose one

Bumped

Dumbasses.

Faggot

Wtf bruv, water boils at 212 C....

Sorry to be a fag but chemistry says you can't put it in 200 degree water because water boils at 100 degrees and changes state to steam

Maybe at your dumbshit Fahrenheit scale

Ok then (BTW im the guy who said about the Samsung blowing up thing and iphone can survive in water up to 200) lets change it to "able to survive waters boiling point"

bump

There's a corner where you can drill 1/4 inch on the top and the headphone Jack is there.

They decided to deny customers the Jack last minute when the people who make their wired headphones didn't want to follow contract, so they didn't create the penetration on the outside body, but the specs call for it to be added to the board. Now they want to make money with the new headphones.

I mean, they microwaved them once, they'll do this too.

Water at sea level boils at 100 degrees Celsius, not Fahrenheit. Get your units straight faggot.

How about "The iPhone 7 has a special gel in between layers that prevent major damage if dropped" so next thing you know we have people throwing their phones at the wall thinking it will be ok.

Nah you are bruv, get your shit straight.

Oh yeah! Well at least our 0 is cooler than yours!!!

Fuck you beat me to it.

lrn 2 Sup Forums