Any anons ever fucked a celebrity?

Any anons ever fucked a celebrity?
Share your stories here.

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Guy I was in jail with said his brother fucked Megan Fox.

Nobody on here ever fucked a celebrity, you fat faggot

I thought I fucked Courtney Hole one time, but it was a pike of rags and medical waste that had been soaking in dumpster juice in the hot sun I instead. Doesn't matter. Still had sex.

good story lol

we are all fags here you dense nigger

i fucked ariana grandes younger sister but you won't believe me so idc.

Fuck you Dan Schneider

dude, everyone's a virgin on the internet.

I fuck Maisie Williams from time to time. Her pussy smells really good. She gets crazy horny and loves dick, just fucking loves it. She's insanely good in bed. I don't care how much people here meme on her, she's super hot in person and has some of the best legs I've ever seen. Love going down on her. We hook up sometimes when she's in the US. She's a fun girl. Cool to hang out with, cool to do drugs with and fucks like a mad woman. Best girl tbh

>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Enjoy your hand, virgin.

kek'd

story?

Does it count if they were still unknowns when we banged?

Been there, done that.

yea, i fucked kathy bates like four years ago.
was a stripper at the time and she was there at this 'classy' older ladies party. she paid me to stick around.
not proud but happened.

I remember the first time I went to a USC party that Miranda Cosgrove was at.
It was at a frat house and I was hanging out and talking to people when this huge guy, probably around 6'5 came up to me and grabbed me by the shoulder and told me very sternly to "come with me, newblood". He led me down to the basement, and that's when I saw her.
She was completely naked, on her hands and knees, on top of a large blue tarp. A single bare lightbulb swung from the ceiling, and two massive football players were fucking her, one in the ass and one in the mouth. Her eyes were rolled into the back of her head, and she was covered in semen. The words "COCKGOBBLER" were scrawled on her forehead in permanent marker . The one fucking her in the mouth bust a nut down her throat, and she swallowed it all. She then started screaming "FUNNY POWDER, FUNNY POWDER" over and over at the top of her lungs. The guy that led me in handed me a ceramic plate covered in cocaine and instructed me to blow some in her face. I bent down in front of her and she coughed up a huge glob of cum onto the tarp and looked at me in the eyes, all while still beng fucked in the ass. I grabbed a handful of cocaine and placing it in my palm, I blew it in her face. I had tears in my eyes and silently mouthed "but you were in iCarly". I stood up and another massive jock took my spot and started ramming her in the mouth. I then tried to leave but the guy who took me to the room told me "you have to stay until all the coke is gone lardlungs". I sobbed for the next 3 hours doing my duty until all the men were satisfied and she was passed out in a pool of jizz.
It was the worst night of my life.

I fucked Dahvie Vanity from Blood on the Dance Floor once, when I was 5 years old, he's the songbird of our generation and has a room in his house that he takes kids into for free candy, but you had to be blind folded the whole time, the lollipops tasted bad though! =(

gayest shit ive read.
why even waste your time?

Sometimes I think that really happened...
Yes, I want to believe so hard ;)

I've posted this before, but I fucked Alana Austin -- the girl from that movie Motocrossed where she switches places with her brother

Dan "Already Creampied Her" Schneider

does it count if it's an non-american celebrity?
i've fucked zara larsson, a shitty swedish b-list celebrity. shit was pretty cash though

>Alana Austin

Got nudes?

Unfortunately, no. It was a long time ago... I don't think she did. That was back when you had to email nudes from a digital camera or take really shitty cell pics. Even if she had sent any (I kind of remember one), we were both under 18 so I would have definitely gotten rid of them.

I don't know why I replied to my own post and not yours... Too late/early in the AM, I guess. But the short answer is no.

Hi, Miranda... don't worry about what people say behind your back. Just be yourself and enjoy your time at college.

I fuck fluttershy from time to time. Her pussy smells really good. She gets crazy horny and loves dick, just fucking loves it. She's insanely good in bed. I don't care how much people here meme on her, she's a super hot pony and has some of the best hooves I've ever seen. Love going down on her. We hook up sometimes when she's in the real world not equestria. She's a fun pony. Cool to hang out with, cool to do drugs with and fucks like a mad pony. Best pony tbh

femanon

Dated a professional hockey player. He had a really small penis considering his size (6'7).

We broke up.

I dated another professional hockey player (different team) who was 6'8. He had an average sized penis, really nothing to brag about considering his size.

Broke up.

Stopped dating hockey players because I didn't want to get a reputation for being a puck bunny.

It was like a 'cute' high school hook up... Like Netflix and Chill before Netflix. There were like 3 'couples' on a big couch watching a movie and gradually large comforters were involved and people would sneak away during the dark scenes. We ended up alone on the couch and I was a puss about making a move but eventually it went down. Well, it went up, then down.

gross

nice dubs.

Does she have pink pubes?

dan "gotta get inside her" Schneider

about as believable as the other story

mfw I couldn't have posted this because I don't know the names of any of MLP characters

Newfag detected.

I fucked Amy Winehouse's corspe.

Knew a guy who banged Rosario Dawson and he wouldn't stop texting her after that and she had to tell him to leave her alone, lol.

1. There are no femanons on the internet
2. Why are you surprised? Penis size is not pro-rata, you dumb bitch, in the same way that female basketball players don't have a bucket between their legs
3. This post is not misogynist. I just used a gender-appropriate insult

I am a celebrity in my country and I fap all the time. Does that count?

Meh. I don't care.

I was just really surprised. REALLY surprised.

You see this big muscular guy, dripping with testosterone, it's natural to assume that he's packing.

What a let down...

Twice.

lol

You gotta fuck the skinny virgins before their gainz shrink their dicks.

It's only natural to assume that if you're a fucking idiot and know nothing about the opposite sex.

Yeah, found one of those. Well, he wasn't a virgin but I was his first serious gf.

5'11 and packing.

Also, he's a scientist, so I don't have to worry about sports injuries or having stupid kids.

...

Nice, nice... anyway, I'm a skinny virgin. You wanna fuck me before my gainz shrink my dick?

The fact that you posted this means you're the one who's butthurt over getting made fun of for thinking big guys automatically had big dicks.

I'm in South Africa.

I got a handy from Margo Kidder in the mid 90's

Yeah, I once fucked Taylor Swift. Gives good head. Had to stand on a table though for her to do it comfortably.

I was fucked by Michael Jackson when I was 13

fucked Heather Locklear before she was famous (yes I'm fucking old) was a EE student at UCLA where her dad was one of my profs

dumped my ass as soon as she got cast in CHiPs

first shaved pussy I'd ever seen - including porn

Not me, different user.

Calm your tits.

i'm a guy. you're trying to respond to the grill because you got triggered about your small dick

I'm still making fun of you anyway. Fuck you. Tits or gtfo.

Ew, nvm

I did? Wow thanks for letting me know. I was pretty sure I was just making fun of a dumbass, but thanks for giving me a free internet psychological evaluation.

Nigger fucker.

pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/secret/famous/locklear.html

Here's another diagnosis

You don't want to see my tits. I'm old and lactating.

kek. I'm not black.

Now I'm just curious. Tits or gtfo.

Post them on /r9k/

Was she tight? old timer

meme game fire nigger.

Ew, you bottom nigger. Everything you've said is now invalid.

Bitch you just got my dick hard lets see em

i'm going to allow it.

You do realise we have white people living here too, right?

Someone has to run this place.

>Any anons ever fucked-

You must be new here....

Yes, I actually know that and yet that doesn't make you any less of a filthy fuckin nigger.

Well you used to run it, until the Zulus got all Zanu-PF on your asses

...

Went to school with maddy carroll who did some movies as a kid, only like cute notebook stuff though

Sadly gonna agree. I got brainwashed into knowing those bastards names thanks to this site.

Do you like Rodriguez?

>when you actually have nothing witty to say back

Please kill yourself

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this is a thread asking if you fucked a celebrity, not if you've ever known one.

go be a wizard somewhere else

...

Xhosas, actually. The Zulus are still running around perving over virgins covered in beads.

And frankly, I don't really care. I'm not from here, I just live here.

keep going 9gag, this is great that you think you're actually getting me angry

...

yeah, tight, but she is a small grill so not unusually so her shaved pussy (I mean zero hair - maybe waxed or electrolosys, even on the brown round) is what stood out to me as far as privates what stood out more were her eyes and smile

whatever idiot she was pretty fucking smart, no lie her old man was seriously fucking smart

>where she switches places with her brother
is the entire movie just her brother mastubating with huge dildoes in her body?

because that's what i'd expect

Kek I really want to believe this happened

Now I know I'm on Sup Forums

> but she is a small grill so not unusually so
>Imblying this has any relationship at all

toppest of keks to you, wow you're a real stinker

>She is a small grill
I refer you to this
Section 2. Insert gender-appropriate insult.

...

not personally, by my ex girlfriend swears that quentin tarantino raped her when she was 14 outside some club in downtown Boston.

I have no idea if shes a liar or what, but she swears by her story.

Do you have many of these saved? Ever thought what people think about you when you trot them out and post them in a thread?

No, probably best not to.

I have fucked a few pornstars who did escort work, but thats it. Two were in Toronto and one in Detroit

...

Why was she outside a club when she was 14?

Unlike half of the rest of the chicks in the club....