What kind of girlfriend do you want

What kind of girlfriend do you want

A real one

One that tips

> be me
> just moved across the country for the third time, this time chasing a job instead of pussy
> closer to home, but still don't know anyone
> start to frequent a local restaurant chain
> start to get to know the bartenders and servers
> they're pretty cool
> New girl starts working there
>dat ass 10/10
> strike up conversion, slip in that I'm "from Cali"
> I'm actually from the south
> get her number effortlessly
> occasionally text her compliments after i see her at work
> wander in the other day
>the dude abides with a white russian
> it's her day off, so i don't expect to see her
> having a conversation with the bartender (landwhale)
> all of the sudden someone touches my shoulder
>ohai qt3.14
> she's having dinner with a friend of hers
>5/10 thin but big belly, no tits (fake tits bra)
> invites me to eat with them
>phatass italian shows me snapchats of sloppy drunk escapades and her ass
> hoist the mainsail!
>invites me out to drink with her and her friend
> initially accept with no hesitations
> when we get our checks big ass gets into argument with coworker serving us about tipping
>she did give you a free meal
>don't care, the bitch doesn't leave a tip
>major turn off
> politely make up excuse to not go drinking, besides i need gas money for a trip next weekend, so it's for the best.
>phat ass says that she isnt going either. I see through it, she's trying to make me feel better
> says she's not normally a bitch, i say we'll see
>i go home and masturbate.
> went in yesterday, sit in bar, i see her, she didn't see me, don't say a thing to her. Just playing the waiting game. I don't chase anymore.

One that likes me back without me trying and vice versa...And of course attracted to.

caring...

Human, and... well, alive.

a dead one

A real one

One that has a built in lighter for sparkin bowls blunts and joints, a bluetooth speaker to listen to slow jams or incoherent yelling into a microphone while I make love to or gorilla fuck her, internal water pouch that holds 2 gallons so I don't have to keep getting up when I'm thirsty, a multi vibration function for my balls lower abs and along the lining of the vaginal walls, a built in bowl, dead center of her head made to be hit while you're laying on top of her, and finally, last but not least, she transforms into an Infinity
>fully loaded

Oh, and needless to say, mount a fuckin Android tablet in her back, what do you think I just really like shoulder blades?

My checklist grows with every failed relationship. Here's where I'm at so far.
>has to have a job
>is nice
>gets along with my friends
>is willing to learn my hobbies
>gets along with my family
>has common sense
>smokes weed or is cool with me smoking weed
>isn't terrible looking.
>wants kids at some point in life.
>has goals she wants to achieve.

Bonus points if she's into anal and mff threesomes, but I feel like I'm asking for too much at this point

dude weed lmao

user that gets it

Came here to say this

Dear fucking Christ
I can see your fat fuckin clogged arteries through your post.

user wants a clingy gf, the others were whores and left me

one like my ex but more accepting of guns and weed.

...

Jess dump you or you dump her?

bit of both i suppose, we've been off and on for 4 years. Somewhat on now. Would also prefer her be my age or slightly younger, ex is a few years older so she's more baby crazy than i'd like.

One who will love me

not the type i have right now

this

One that doesn't disappear when I wake up

Oh my god, so much /thread

The one I fucked things up with

One who isn't so fucking insecure and damaged that she's unable understand how much I love her, due to the fact that she has no frame of reference for how two sane adults are supposed to act when they care about one another. One who I can be with without having to carefully assess and reassess every word out of my mouth to ensure that she won't get offended by something I didn't even mean to say, internalize it, then resent me for it for the next several months without saying a goddamn word.

If I can't have any of that, then maybe I'll just try to get with a black or Latina girl. I want a girl who isn't afraid to call me a punk ass bitch when I get her fucked up

post pic of her with tits out?

My last relationship is like what you were describing. Mainly the problem was that she was immature. Have yet to date a black girl, or a latina. Would like to but it's hard to find one that's into my type of music and lifestyle.

we have been hanging out lately but sure.

I'd like one with at least some Black Widow in her.

So she can kill me after.

One that doesn't use that fucking flower crown filter. That's an SJW red flag

this feel empty without her face in it

most of the pics she's sent me are faceless unfortunately. I've got a few somewhat sexy pics with face but nothing with exposed tits

Question for you Sup Forumsros
Whats your reaction/opinion to when a girl says
>you're my first boyfriend
>you're my first kiss
>you're my first [insert verb]

not impmon....

haven't had that happen but virginity is a huge plus, well maybe unless they're 30+ that's a red flag. No kiss over the age of 22 is somewhat concerning.

I want a slut

She's 18

me too

she's lying

One with a pulse for once

Unless there's something majorly wrong with her which is resulting in her being unable to be any you're a lucky guy.

Big tits and a nice face

One that will do my laundry, clean my apartment and cook my dinner. She would also take it in all holes and accept the good slap I would give her if she gets out of line and disobedient.

>>you're my first boyfriend
run
>>you're my first kiss
run faster
>>you're my first [insert verb]
it depends, but probably run

would you say "good church girl" is a good thing or bad thing?
i mean i've been unlocking a lot of doors she didnt know about and each step we take shes realizing more and more what she's been missing out on

>good church girl
atheist here.

the simple answer is it could be good or it could be bad.
most of the girls i dated in high school claimed to be good church girls and that didn't stop them from every kind of sex imaginable. also, my atheism was a turn on to some of them.

in college, good church girl meant a reason to be shitty to people and a way to avoid sex-even after marriage.

a mistake i did not make.

she's a good girl everywhere expect in the back seat of my car?

pretty much

minimally crazy, sexually experienced but doesn't shove it in my face(average dicked, don't want to know about dudes with bigger dicks than me), holds onto some semblance of her gender role(is girly but not super over the top girly), makes some effort to take care of herself, into punk(real punk), loyal, funny, playful, likes to drink, is into open stuff with other girls(maybe other dudes if he isn't a mega-chad), isn't materialistic, isn't bitchy all of the time, isn't into living a fantasy life like most normie girls, shorter than me(no specific height), petite(hence height and taking care of herself)

that's all i can think of for now, too bad girls like this don't exist.

I've been in that slump lately man. All of my relationships just don't work out well.
My list pretty much the same as yours.

totally reminds me. story time

>be in high school
>dating girl named dixie
>cool, but super christian
>dad is the mayor
>invites me over when her parents are out
>expecting sexy time
>get the heissmann
>her parents get home
>we watch with them for a bit
>parents are going to bed so, i have to leave
>on the front porch she kisses me goodbye
>tells me to wait half an hour and meet her by garage door
>uh, ok
>longest half hour of my life
>i figure she is going to sneak out
>boy was i wrong
>she sneaks me into her room
>we fuck
>she is much louder than i'm comfortable with knowing her parents' room is very close by
>actually cover her face with a pillow when she cums
cont.

>don't want to know about dudes with bigger dicks than me
don't be a faggot

my current gf's ex-husband's dick is bigger than mine, yet i'm the one fucking her and he's not.

IDGAF still getting laid

i mean i know it happens, but my ex fucked me up by telling her friend she was considering cheating on me with some dude she fucked years ago because he was bigger than me.

before she did that, i didn't care that she fucked guys with bigger dicks than me, because I was the one fucking her at the time and I was making her cum, and we were having fun.

afterwards i was an insecure wreck because i thought she was still thinking about those dudes way after we had the fight and she established that she was just feeling "vulnerable".

cont.
>invite her over to my place when parents are gone for the weekend
>she won't fuck
>invites me over to her house again when her parents are out
>again no fucking
>parents go to bed
>wait 30 minutes
>meet by garage
>go into her room and fuck
>repeat this pattern several times
>one night after sneaking in
>she's already sucked my cock dry
>so my head is between her legs lapping away
>she's softly moaning
>i cannot cover her face with pillow
>knock on the door
>mom says, "are you ok?"
>she says, "yeah, why?"
>mom says, "i could hear you moaning. do you have a stomachace?"
>"no mom. i must have been dreaming"
>mom, "ok. good night sweetie"
>she laughs and tells me not to stop

that was the last time we ever fooled around. wish i could say it was because i was sick of it, but i dumped her because i met someone hotter.

unfortunately, hotter chick was kind of a maguro.

>i was an insecure wreck because i thought she was still thinking about those dudes
beta faggot

what do you care what or who she's thinking about. you're the one with the dick in her. think about that.

CONTINUE!!!

now i know not to give a shit about what a girl says

but back then it was tough man, i'm sure at one point in your life you felt the same way.

one that can't talk

one with a feminine penis

>What kind of girlfriend do you want
young as possible

>mfw feminine penis

I want a girlfriend with which I can play videogames with. and fuck.

One that's capable of making me laugh, looks half-decent, and has something in common with me.

Relationships work both ways, my last one failed because we both had issues. I at least faced mine and tried to work it out, but she was immature and flushed 2 years of being together away to go pop pills with some juggalo and live in his parents basement with him.
I like to think I made it out a little better than her considering I'm moving to Oregon now, was going to take her with me but not anymore lol

If I could choose, a petit one who likes to cosplay and is into roleplay. Have similar interest, and likes to have interesting talks

What you don't like girl dick that smells like perfume?

Any girl, deformed or otherwise that would acknowledge me. I'm so fucking lonely, it hurts.

I just want someone who will share my bed and help me get through bullshit
I don't care if it's a girlfriend or a boyfriend

me too brother, me too. Literally Twitter doesn't fill the void either.