ITT we announce our super powers while others give restrictions

ITT we announce our super powers while others give restrictions.
I'll start:
Infinite money

terminally ill

>Infinite money in pennies

small dick

Ability to fly

means

infinite tax for government
infinite welfare for niggers
infinite housing for illegals

your superpower is shiart.

Mine is infinitely charming to any female I choose.

.. half an inch above the ground.

Can only fly for 0.1 seconds.

>infinitely charming to any female I choose.
... but can't get an erection.

My power is being able to turn water into beer.

The world switches to a universal digital currency, and your infinite supply of cash is useless.

Mine: Can pause time and interact with anyone or anything without their knowledge.

Beer is flat

is faggot

These are stupid answers with no effort put into them.

But you can only turn it into a rich stout with a 13% abv.

You can't turn it off.

Only non alcoholic beer

You age at 10 times the normal rate while time is frozen for you

Inside a plane

only able to fly over new york

I can reverse entropy.

All water you touch turns to beer, including showers.

ability to talk to animals

Can see into other peoples vision.

Ability to successfully smuggle anything in my ass

Only Zimbabwe money

Have the power to read people's mind

Can only use insults which results in the animals attacking you.

>but you can never stop talking about what it is you have up your ass

But can't understand what they are saying to you

Able to go back in time so I'm not so socially retarded

Can only turn it into Iron Flats brand

Only if they see you

every time you do, you maintain a massive erection through the whole process.

Dick never bleeds during masturbation and no refractory period

Only if they're looking at Donald trump r34

only able to read sexual thoughts

Become more socially retarded whenever you use the power.

Beer is Budweiser

Only to aborigine women

Can only spend it on used lube

The power to shoot sand from my eyes.

aw fuck

They all ignore you.

Into a building

They are fully aware that you are doing it

Can move things with my mind

Have to eat sand to shoot sand.

Asexual

And turn into a sand nigger

Isn't that good, though? Easier to judge what a gril thinks of you, no?

Become blind in the process.

you can only get it 1 penny at a time per second.

>The power to shoot sand from my eyes.
one grain will get stuck in each eye forever everytime you do it.


The ability to control smells.

It only travels a few inches

Everyone's mind is a different "language." You have to learn the "language" of each individual mind or else it's all just gobbledegook.

The ability to survive without food or drink.

The ability to browse on Reddit while Sup Forums doesn't know I'm on it

Only works when looking at furry porn

Still feel hunger, and thirst.

You can't lie to your parents about being gay

The ability to erase my dumbass descisions from the timeline completely

...

But still have to shit the equivalent of your body weight in excrement a day.

Good thing it never bleeds. There's no refractory period because once it goes, it never stops. Ever, until your death. Just a constant dribble.

Keep up on those fluids!

But you must be high and drunk as shit to use power

Complete control over the concept of death

kek

Body becomes useless and shuts down whenever you use the ability.

Only for 10sec and everything resumes back to normal

Max limit of $100 per purchase.

No ability to land.

You're gay.

Not at will. Your body turns to 70% beer and you die.

They all speak a language you don't.

Only if they're within your line of sight

Inability to remove it from your ass.

But only when they're thinking about how much they hate you.

Ability to make people poop on command.

You're dead already

The ability to prolapse any orifice

The power to be immortal at teh age of 16.

makes u poop whenever u make someone else

What does this mean? I can only ease bouts of ten seconds?

You can't spend it on women... their bills, drinks, food, clothes, gas, or education

Dies before 16.

That's still 60 cents a minute, or 36 bucks an hour. Even if you have to be active to do it you could work an 8 hour day and live comfortably. You could try whatever you wanted, knowing that if you failed you could go back to pinching pennies.

If you didn't have to actively take the pennies, then it would be pretty sweet; every day you'd get tax-free ~$850.

We have a fucking winner

Let's see him some top notch pussy from that

You have an insatiable urge to eat it afterwards.

You're subject to infinite inflation.

o shit

xD

As long as they're looking into your eyes

i can create anything from nothing.

the smell follows you wherever you go forever, and other people can smell it too.

You're stuck at 16. You can't vote, nobody takes you seriously, you have to hide eating and drinking, you have to spend eternity around a bunch of vapid 16-year olds.

It only works on your family members.

>must be 21

You remove those dumb decisions, but now you never made those decisions, so you don't have to remove them, so you don't remove them, so you did make those decisions etc etc etc

Caught in a causality loop.

But only the concept, not death itself.

Yup only erase 10sec but everything turns back to normal

Ability to make girl pregnant on command.

But you shit fully grown live beavers

Your sex life

But must already have the thing you want to create and can only create it once

>teleportation

I can cure autism

The instantaneous creation of matter in space results in a pressure shockwave because of the insane potential energy involved in doing this.

You have to use your powers in a vacuum to use them safely.

I love you

i give up fuck you guys.