We did it /b

We did it /b

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oh, this can be good

Are you retarded this is to obvious

reminds me of . . .

I wonder what component of the phone actually gets destroyed by doing this.

Any proof?

>we

youtube.com/watch?v=Zi4zOYEBC4I

>are you retarded
>to

>No larger than 4mm

Macfags ARE rretarded

it needs a bullshit title like 'bring back jack' or some shit that apple would come up with

holy fucking christ
is that real?
if so, top kek and rip Iphone 7 users

shit photoshop but what im trying to convey

>"bringing us closer to you"

U-uncle st-stop getting closer

I think we should spin it as a "Lifehack" say that its still there for the Apple repairers to access some part of the phone directly, perhaps the Auxiliary Accelerometer Calibration unit?

Problem is, macfags don't strike me as being the sort of people who own a drill. And if they did, it would have one drill bit that cannot be removed.

yes, perfect
somebody make it

They made the case so it covered the aux input so users are forced to buy additional hardware, apples share price plummeting causing durastic measures ect ect

pedobear approves of this advert

>Laptop is faarrr too shit to photoshop, sorry user :(

You're so fucking true it hurts.

What if it said "Can also be achieved using a a hammer and chisel" ?

If I can get my hands on a broken Iphone 6, Im going to tape over the top and paint it to look like the iphone 7 top, and show me drilling through the tape to the headphone jack

Yeah they don't own drills but sure as fuck own a hammer and a chisel.

Are you retarded, user?

...

Does it have any reciever/transmitter bands on the outside of the phone? if so we could say pushing a pen really hard into those bands works?

...

I like the one where user said that running a magnet over the back a few times increases Bluetooth connectivity.

That is very well done

holy fuck Sup Forums is finally doing something

dont get excited kid this will fizzle out. cant wait for more blacked shill posts!! just kill me

another idea, perhaps change the heat idea to "When charging your phone, place it under a stack of thermal inducing material to speed up the charging process. Our new feature allows you to literally feel how fast your phone is charging, depending on how hot is under your material"

Yeah, I think a direct flame is a little too obvious, an not everyone will have a lighter or matches. How about heating in a saucepan?

Newfag detected

minor revisions

>Newfag

The picture of the phone is low res compared to the text. Also Apple logo on bottom left needs some work

I like it, it spells it out in the way that Apple would, condescendingly

Yes or a toaster? Perfect phone shape? Maybe another is the Iphone 7 is only IP67 so the seals can only last an hour underwater, we could say leaving your waterproof iphone in a bowl of water overnight cleans the speakers and buttons and helps them to never get clogged

Probably just a draft, like how the text is weirdly squashed.

am i the only one who thinks this is idiotic? nobody would ever put his phone directly onto fire. the 4mm hole idea is far better, just make up some diagram of the inside of the phone

I can see traces of PSing. Just tilt the screen towards you and you'll see it.

>Yeah, I think a direct flame is a little too obvious.
Agreed with this.
Come up with something else.

Let's go with toaster but we should incorporate heat but instead of flame toaster

Add the "How does Heat Work" section into the first paragraph, and use the second paragraph for a section like "How Heat can help you"

> With triple charging speeds than that of a usual wall outlet, what's not to enjoy. Our vision at Apple was a long battery life so you can fully enjoy your Iphone7 experience, and what good is that if you have to wait all day for it to charge! With the Heat(trademark sign) system we have taken one of the most abundant energy sources and transformed in perfectly and simplistically into your handheld supercomputer

shit the diagram is a really good idea guys, our main concern is people not having a drill tho

>Toaster
Or hair straighteners or whatever macfags have lying around.

We did waterproof last time, and if we're going for a lithium battery fire like the drill suggestion then heating the device I'm not sure will be enough. A toaster will fuck shit up, but not so spectacularly.

lithium battery, lithium is highly reactive to oxygen

it has to be toaster its so common and believable
>believable in the context of macfags who are reatrds

> Our new screens have a special heat-proof glazing that protects it from damage, allowing swift heat transfer straight to your battery

There they are.

"A direct heat source such as an element or even a toaster, the heat inductors are located on the back panel of the Iphone 7, any direct heat source will work" Maybe?

This

Looks like someone got a little too excited over their new photo and "baptized" it

can someone make the fucking toaster advert already?

bad font

people buy stupid shit when they think they're outsmarting the system

make the diagram official and idiots will swarm to it like antivacciners or other mongoloids who don't check sources of the shit they believe in

This is good, just need the right phrasing around the heatsource, We dont want to specify the appliance, just make it sound as if any intense source of heat will work. Maybe we just explain the theory behind the heat system in the iphone 7 but dont tell anyone what to specifically do, just let them get curious on their own

But guys... What if someone really does this and it hurts their phone?

No it's not you fucking retard.

It's way too fucking obvious.

We need a draftsman do we have a drafsman

add the protip
simply lay the phone with the back on the hotplate on mid temperature and a cold water filled pot on it.
some physics explnation: the heat difference between back and top generates electricity using the peltier effect.
please some skilled user create an image of this

>profit

For a draft it was very well done, I can see you would be awesome in group projects, new team leader over here guys

you don't remember when people MICROWAVED their phones, do you?

If using a toaster, please ensure the battery does not overcharge by placing a wet towel above the device.

Wouldn't it be easier to do a lifehack type post rather than trying to look "apple official"

...

>more microwave time for higher wattage

Damn with that many steps it would be fucking hilarious if people actually fell for it. The crazy thing is, in this world, in this current year, someone will

"Taking a bath with your charging Iphone 7 is highly reccomended"

come on now... people are stupid, but not THAT stupid

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA YES THANKYOU HUMANS FOR BREEDING THE EXTREMITIES

>Put iPhone in vapor pressure pot
>iPhone works 2x as fast as before cause solder joints are more compressed so it can transfer data faster

>Seems legit

>less than 30 seconds.
Unless you're talking about the total amount of sex you've ever had no one will believe this.

Take your toaster to the bathtub!

Nobody on earth is stupid enough to fell for it

idea is interesting
imagine the "user"s reaction after lifting the pot after a good charge

Remember that gorilla glass floor display with the featherweight hammer on a fulcrum?

but they could have a reason to thing microwaves carried a magic energy or shit, heat is just heat, aint nobody fall for that

wow.

I laughed way too much at this poor man's stupidity. I mean misfortune. Honestly, though, am I the only one who actually reads the instruction booklet when I get a new $500 smartphone?

It has a long list of shit you don't do including getting it near fire, water, or sources of high levels of EM Radiation, such as a microwave.

>come on now... people are stupid, but not THAT stupid

user do I need to remind you of "cut for bieber"?

Wow dude I didn't know we had a scientist in the thread

"the me, by us".

Or piss for equality.

The cringe

Thats not cringy. What is your definition of cringe user?

the microwave thing was semi-plausible, this is not

Watching someone fuck up is cringe to me dude, and the surity that he has in the fucking sheet of glass to save his already-thicker-glass screen from a fucking hammer just makes me want to pull my pubes out and sew them to my gums

>That head nod at the end kills me

What phone was it thats water proof?
Tell people to mix amonia and bleach and put their phones in it to charge it extra quick.

Checked

This would be fucking gold to see some idots doing on youtube

Beep beep beep
Newfag detected

Better yet, tell them it reacts with the seals making the iphone IP89, making it water resistance for up to 8 hours

We don't know if that were trolls, at least it was just a few people. Iphone heat it just retarded, not even little kids will believe this.

>ty for checking

Heat is too stupid. Really even people with down syndrome will realize this is a troll. Wave and the waterproof thing were at least somewhat believable

Why not magnets. Nobody knows how they work.

what about telling them to put the phone in a plate and make crystals on it for the metal to turn into a different color?

Yeah I agree, It was a good idea but the drill idea seems to be the most plausable and requires the least amount of bullshit, we just need a diagram