What is the strangest shit that you do?

What is the strangest shit that you do?

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Pretend im a black man unironically

Wipe my ass standing

Come back to this place despite it being 100% unfunny cancer in a veiled hope that I might find a nugget of something interesting despite that never happening.

I jack off to totally spies almost daily for the last 10 years. Cant get off to much else

OP thats OC found nothing of it online. post more of those pretty beautiful tits I WANT MORE OP MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amen brother.

I look at naked women and play with my penis.

what? tell me more?

more titties

same

I jiggle my balls before I sit to take a dump. Feels good man.

Let gf beat the shit out of me 'cause I get off on it.

Fuck my gf from the side while she sleeps. Sometimes I watch asmr videos on my phone during.

Fucking bump. You need to explain what turns you on about it atleast.

holy fuck this. welcome my brother in arms.

>
I'm intrigued, are your orgams more intense?

Drink cough syrup daily to intoxication to combat my premature ejaculation problem.

Pro-tip: it works super well and my girlfriend is supremely satisfied.

Nah, I just get to bust a nut without having to worry about getting her off. Also I don't really love her so I don't want to be intimate with her. This way I still get some pussy. It's like I'm fucking someone else.

What do you want to know? They get my dick hard and their artwork and voices are fucking perfect. I'm holding out for VR porn of them

youtu.be/wZRFaA-Mk_s?t=5m

>mfw I just recently made a looping mp3 of this gasp.

Jerking off with my hands tied behind my back

What if she gets preggo?

Which one is your favourite? I was obsessed with Sam when I was a kid. Never could shake the fetish for red hair or green eyes.

She did, that's why I can't leave her.

Umm what??

got constapated, tried to pull the shit out ended up breaking only the tip

Pretend im not a black man ironically

bump

Browse Sup Forums

ditto

So what if she gets preggo again?

Sam is also my favorite,always has been.

Not likely since she's got a Intrauterine device now, but if it happens I'll probably fake my own death or something.

You're dick must be tiny and she must be a roastie, if this if true,which i doubt.

>my nigga

Like I said, she's had a kid so it's pretty loose. Also she's a really deep sleeper. As long as I'm gentle she rarely wakes up. If I play with her boobs enough she gets turned on and I can even get her to suck my dick. She's not very good at it when she's asleep though.

I keep my pants on when I sit down to take a shit.

ancestry.com - if you have a nigger relative then you can bail

I turn on music and run around my house while thinking about whatever.

No need to check. My dad is a nigger and left my mom to raise me by herself.

Hail, master Kintaro

I write gay friend fiction. Thanks Sup Forums for gradually corrupting me with trap threads

I have so much ass hair I have to sometimes

sometimes I need a pressure washer

then it's in your blood, you must go

fellow standfag here.

secret shame. I once told a group of friends I stood up and they all laughed at me

Oh it's in my blood for sure. I'm still trying to fight my inner nig though.

Take a shower and wash my asshole after I take a shit. If I take a shit away from home, I make sure theres paper towels, soap, and a working sink so I can at least clean my butthole. Some may find that strange but no fucks given because at least I'm clean and thats all that matters to me.

I wipe standing as well, after I check my ass in the mirror to see if there's a piece of shit there. If so, then I'll open/close my ass in motion, hoping it falls on the floor so I can pick it up and clean the floor. If there's not a piece of shit there, then I'll procced to wipe.

I have this weird "carpe diem" feeling with the most mundane things. I feel like I need to do things a certain way or else im not doing them right and/or loosing a chance to do them that way
Like I was playing this game (fuck you it was decent) and I thought how fitting it would be to play it when it rained to get a nice atmosphere. Thats it, there was no grey area, I wouldnt play the game unless it was raining outside and it took me months to play just because I got it in my head to do that and it felt wrong to do anything else.
Or Other times I'll be watching a movie, playing a game, reading a book and I want it to be special becuase its the only time im ever going to finish it for the first time so I make a day of it to make it feel important I dont even know what to call it is what I do. I just really really like planning them so I call it stubborn autism

So much this. I've lately been trying to bring my friends around to this way of thinking. I mean, say you're walking down the street. You trip and manage to break your fall, but your hand lands in dogshit. What do you do?
>wash hands
>rub the shit with a piece of paper and smear it out untill you can't see it anymore

Damn. I feel you bro. Same here. I can't simply take a shit and walk away. If I'm not able to take a shower after I take a shit, that's a huge problem. That's why I only poop at home.

I love this thread. I have never felt so normal.

Sometimes i hold the tip of my foreskin and inflate it with my piss, it's just so damn satisfying

This, but only in the shower.

I spent hours on Sup Forums, re-reading the same threads and complain about the same problems but I never make any effort to fix them

[spoiler]you guys are the closest thing to friends I have right now[spoiler]

[zalgo]we'll always love you[/zalgo]

...

(SPOILER ALERT) you will an hero

I didn't realise this wasn't the normal thing to do?

...

Pop my dopamine reuptake inhibitor, go for a 15 mile run.
>Feelsgoodman

I do this too, maybe not to such an extreme extent but I like to set up shop when watching a good movie or reading a good book
atmosphere makes it all the more comfy

I thought I was alone doing this. I take some pain pills for my back and go for a bike ride,I do recommend it
The feeling of cool air blowing around you as you cruise is awsome, plus its better then just getting doped up and sitting at home

Why not just step in the shower real quick? In my experience puny toilet paper doesn't do shit.

lurking Sup Forums

nothing
>go to school
>go to work
>look forward to coming home and shitposting on Sup Forums and fapping
Worst of all I sort of enjoy it

beat my dick to women who are over the age of 40.

I'm not joking.

At all.

Post my dick on the internet

That's not weird at all, I fapped to a horse once

If you have a daughter and you're worried about her being around me, then never fear because young women irritate me. All women do really, but older women don't have the same undeserved sense of entitlement that young women do.
They expect less and for that reason, you will never have to worry about your daughter around me. But if you're wife's good lookin and she has a tendency to stray from you then I'll tap dat ass raw and treat her like a queen for a night with a smile as fake as the name I gave her before knocking her up.

we're your friends, m8
also check my dubs for you

solo anal play

i can take a 12" double ender all the way in

and just worked up to a 9" girth plug

feels good man

My volume level on anything always has to be an odd number, preferably ending in a 7

When i cough and that goey things gets off my throat to my mouth, i take it to fingers and rub it until it dries and makes a goey little ball.
I know that it is disgusting. I can't stop. I am addicted.

- eat my bugers
- smell my farts
- piss over my hands occasionally
- check if all the doors are closed in my apartment regularly
- put a tenga on my erect dick and walk around town
- jerk of on the bus, with the tenga, inside my backpack
- take creep shots, and also openly take shots
- finger my ass while showering
- eat my popped pimpels
- eat my dead skin
- don't shower for 5 days then go to a prostitute and force close physical contact
- fingers my ass then shake hands with people
- fill a syringe with my sperm and shoot at unsuspecting women
- yell "whore" and shit like that to women on the street (at night), or "i want to throatfuck your face", whatever
- flip of random people
- steal underwear from the washing room in my building
- jerk it when on the phone with my mother
- grope shy girls who I suspect won't tell
- use a spoon to get rid of the stuff on my tongue (clean)
- call rando people (female) from the phone book and jerk it while trying to pick up conversation
- while having consensual sex derail to whole thing into psychotic madness trying to get her to break (revealing intense deep shit from my past, letting it all out how nobody fucked me for years, etc.)
- writing poems and stories about rape, necrofilia, etc

I enjoy the musky scent of my ballsack after a day or two of not showering, especially after the gym.

Everytime I walk by a mirror I do a stupid face or a wide grin.

I pick my nose a lot. I also pull out individual nosehairs with my fingernails.

I massage my nipples before and during masturbation.

When masturbating, I always browse through my folder for a good picture to cum to, if I cum to a bad picture it's not as good.

>feel guilty and 'dirty' after masturbating
>have to shower twice to get rid of the feeling or it'll drive me crazy (twice meaning over two days)
Pretty sure it's an OCD thing but I can't convince myself that what I'm doing isn't wrong

l put hair ties on my dick when mastubating as cockrings

Most of that is pretty normie, normie

I do your 1, 2, and 5

gotta keep a clean profile for the real shit when its goin down ya feel me brotha

Same, I thought this was a pretty normal thing to do. Like how do people thoroughly clean their ass if they are standing and checking the paper?

10/10

I do something similar. If it is raining I must play an open world game with weather effects. Usually have a mod or cheat to allow rain all the time. I'll also turn on my desk fan to get the wind sensation.

how do you live without washing your ass after every shit

>when showering I talk to myself in my head as if interviewed by someone, surprise how well worded and interesting my responses are. Act like an autist irl
>every time I get to go shopping I prepare what I'm gonna say at the counter, then when it comes to it I forget it or I'm misheard and have to repeat myself
>whenever taking a shit, I need to wipe until there is absolutely nothing on the toilet paper, usually stay in bathroom for 15-30 mins, depending on how heavy the load was and how the battlefields looking
>My favorite movies/shows are the ones with characters I can relate to on a specific level that I know most people won't understand
>everything I do has a specific way of being done, for example, when I shower I always clean specific areas first and work my way down. Nothing is ever different, everything is a routine otherwise I feel like I've done it wrong or forgot to do a certain part of it

I hold my breath around people I think are annoying because I don't want to breath the same air as them. I mostly do this if I'm in an enclosed space, like on a bus

brush my teeth in the shower

>>whenever taking a shit, I need to wipe until there is absolutely nothing on the toilet paper
That's not weird. That is what everyone should be doing

Brutha

holy shit i can't watch this shit.

but i'm so.....totally watching it >_>

fuck.

HANDS FREE FAPPING?!?!?!?!?

should've specified my technique
>shove finger up ass without tearing paper, clean out until it's clean
it almost hurts to sit until I forget about it

>feel like fapping to pics of a girl
>get pics
>go on a website like omegle
>show pics on omegle for others to fap to, claim I'm the girl's father or brother

damn...

Sit down when I take a piss, Im a guy

I return to the bathroom a couple times after I have a wet/sketchy shit and I wipe my ass because I feel as though there's still shit behind, even if there's none. I also shove a finger wrapped in paper up my ass to clean it after I shit. Sometimes I even squeeze toilet paper/a tissue between my asscheeks for a period of time to make sure nothing leaks

I'm not even gay my asshole just bleeds from intensive wiping and it feels like trickling shit

can you fucking cucks give your opinion? Ffs the one time i want you faggots to give your opinion you don't do it.. You're all worthless