so I have a piss test tomorrow. haven't smoked since Sunday and I've been pounding a lot of water, cranberry juice, and cranberry supplements. I got a Q-Carbo detox drink and I'm going to use the fruit pectin/gatorade trick as well. i'm about 150lb, low body fat, and a light smoker. how fucked am i?
pic unrelated
Do they do in-house tests, or do they send it out to a lab?
Weed takes weeks bro. Even 1 puff can stay in your urine for months and will stay in your hair and bloodstream for 6 months +
should note that the last time I smoked, it was a couple of snapper bowls and about 1/4 of a joint. i've been "detoxing" with the water/juice/supplements since Monday. i've of course abstained from smoking since then
I believe they'll send it to a lab. I have to go to a certain place to take the test, apparently
They'll know. It stays in your system for a long time, and even if you manage to use one of those flushing techniques successfully and they dont see the weed it throws off all your other levels in a predictable way and you fail anyway. You earned this failure.
If that's the case those detox drinks won't help you, they're pretty good at spotting 'masking agents'. Along with illicit drugs they test your levels, and if your shits abnormal they're gonna know somethings up.
you are fucked
they might as well be swabbing your skin for residue of polyester fabrics. Or testing your hair for car exhaust. Makes as much as caring about THC metabolites in urine. GOD BLESS MURICA
It's going to be really close call. all that shit youre drinking wont help. THC has already bonded with your fat cells, none of that can change it. only your metabolism can remove THC. good luck
damn, should i just not bother even going in, then?
the only thing that works is synthetic urine. but u have to dial in the temp or they will know its fake
Go diluted, drink as much water as you can and take a piss, the first one will have a yellow-light yellow color like normal. Keep drinking water until you go to take your piss test, the idea is to get a clear flow of piss, which will just be all water. If it's for a job, you are good, if it's for a state drug program, there is a chance you will get flagged for diluted. I was on TASC for a year, l for cocaine possession, I feel ya bro.
You got any friends with clean piss?
so put a baloon of synthetic piss up your ass to get room temp
Piss into the cup 1/3 or 1/2, then the rest synthetic
Get a friend to pee for you before the test. Have them pee in a clean small container. Tape it to your thigh/balls. May get a few hand warmers to heat it up a tad so its body temperature. Just make sure your buddy is clean, and same sex.
Serious question what if you said you were on a trip to Colorado last weekend where it's legal and the left over in your system is from then? How could that possibly disqualify you? It's legal there. It's legal to travel between states.
If you signed a hiring contract saying you agree to be fired for doing drugs, and then you did drugs, you gave them permission to fire you for this. So if you want you can quit. Or see if they'll give you a warning/probation. But this is on you.
Or use an elmers glue bottle and hand warmers or heat from car before you go in
Can confirm anons method works: I did it for a friend who was going for court mandated testing (I wasn't smoking at the time) HotHands have toe warmers with the adhesive, get a bunch of those
Wow, you edgy bitch. Even in Colorado it's against Federal law (you know, that thing that many brave men and women have died to defend). If you do weed, then fuck you, you're dead to me. Do that shit around my family, and it'd be your last time.
If it's for probation or a diversion program like TASC, it doesn't matter, the deal is, you stay clean, period.
so should I not drink the detox drink or use the gatorade/sur jel (fruit pectin) method? i've been pissing clear since monday from drinking water
it's for a job btw
i do, but i'm not sure if I have the balls to take in fake piss. it's unlikely I could get them to piss for me anyways
doesn't matter - they don't want people who have drugs in their system on the job. i'm in a medical state and this is probably still going to fuck me over
i'm not at all angry at the authorities in charge of all of this, but that doesn't mean i won't try and beat the system. it's for a job - i accepted the offer so I just have to pass the drug test
Fuckin talkin about edgy, you stupid nigger STFU
A lot of that doesn't do anything. Only thing I have heard some success is the pectin trick. Best thing is that you are small, low body fat, and a light smoker. If you were 50 pounds heavier and a heavy smoker, you would have no chance.
Ultimately, just keep drinking water, stay hydrated, and do not exercise. Since your body works last in first out (this is very simplified), you should be eating a FUCKTON of fatty foods, and should have started days ago. This new fat you store will not be done with elevated THC in your system, so when your body burns it during the natural metabolic process, you will have less THC metabolites in your system when you piss.
jesus christ never go full retard
then just go diluted dumbass, like I said a few mins ago.
you do not know who the fuck you're talking to. I suggest you STFU.
>since Sunday
You're as fucked as this guy.
Every state that has legalized it recreationally has done it with the literature that employers in that state can still discriminate against you because of it.
Legality has nothing to do with it, it's company policy.
Another thing you gotta consider is if it's for probation or some shit it's probably supervised. Your gonna have some Peter gazer following you in the bathroom. Might have to resort to a wizinator.
WEWWW LAD we got an Internet badass over here.
i know the detox drink has creatine and B vitamins which are supposed to make you piss yellow and therefore not come up as diluted. i'll continue to drink lots of water. i'm concerned that the ingredients of the drink (pic related) will come up as "masking agents" but i'm not really sure - any insight on that?
it's for a job offer, not probation or the like
What a fucking idiot. Fuck you and your garbage family.
Op i can save u, but it is a drastic measure.
Go to the nearest hospital.
Check your self in to thier psych ward
Ask for a 201 form.
Be able to chech urself out voluntarily anytime.
Get test recheduled
Buy yourself time.
Dont be a dumbass again
... Said the fag that just finished a 24 pack of papst. Arnt you supposed to be raping your daughter or something?
Wtf? Then call and give then an excuse, and Go buy synthetic urine.
Op is fag
So fucked, don't go.
YEAH BRO, YOU FUCKED. IF YOU STARTED EATING A SHIT TON OF TACOS NOW THOUGH JUST MIGHT HELP YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF WHEN YOU REALIZE YOU FUCKED YOURSELF OVER. ALSO TACOS.
Honestly, I know it's probably unnerving to do your first time, but if your not being watched your best bet is stealing some clean piss to your thigh with a hand warmer on the bottle. Did it a bunch of times, no one was ever the wiser.
Wanna know how to pass? Don't do drugs. Fucking waste of carbon.
this is absolute bullshit OP
i completed federal parole by using the drinks and smoked the entire time
>haven't smoked since Sunday
You're so fucked op....with no lube
Go beat ur wife a little more fuckin douchebag who the fuck cares about fed law? The original constitution is Where its at
Weed is fat soluble, not water soluble. Water wont help. Cleansers do sometimes. If it's not that much weed that you smoked you may be ok. Buy a home test from Walmart (the 11 test) and see before you make a fool of yourself.
have you ever taken any prescription drugs you fucking junkie?
Are you enough of a badass to tell the family of a fallen hero (for instance Riverdale police Major Greg Barney) that their sacrifice was for nothing? That the rule of law means nothing? Put up or shut the fuck up. Write your congressmen, get Federal Law changed, or fuck off. You break the law, you pay a price.
get the drink OP
I use the ultraclense by Detoxify works like a charm
Geee, thanx mr obvious!
>Don't knock until you try it
At least I pass my drug test.
Go read ur bible pussy
Failing this, use a balloon. Get clean piss, keep it strapped to your thigh, poke it with a needle and you're all set. Might want to practice with like, water first though, so you don't fuck it up and pop a balloon full of piss all over you in front of your tester
I used to smoke weed. I passed a drug test four days after smoking. I had only smoked a coulee doobs four days before the test, and before those, it had been months. You may be fine. I still recommend that $20 home test though.
Hindsight can blow your cock
Read the Bible? You mean like normal people, who aren't edgy drug addicts do? Quite the insult there, pitiful little kid
The issue is that they don't test for creatine, they test for what it ends up metabolizing as. You needed to start ideally 48 hours at the latest, but 24 may do it. Your body doesn't start using that stuff right away. If you take some creatine now, it will help. Double up or triple up on the recommended if you have access to some (you can usually double up when starting on it for legitimate workout purposes anyway).
You should have posted/looked this stuff up days ago, broham!
A few days out not exercising, eating fatty foods, slamming creatine and water with recommended multivitamin intake and then the morning of taking 2 multivitamins has done it for me every time. Am a 250 builtfat heavy smoker. Have changed jobs every 2 years or so, drug tests for each and never failed and never flagged dilute with my method.
have fun foaming at the mouth when you run out of pill money
Protip: maybe you shouldn't smoke weed if you agree to work at a place that tests you for smoking weed.
You deserve what you get.
shut the fuck up trashcan ass nigger
>dead to me
ur dead inside and no loves you scumbag
>Read the Bible because I don't do drugs
So it's black and white, you're honestly a fag. Like all potheads why don't you grow up and stop being a lazy sack of shit and living at your parents house
>But.. but society doesn't give me a job
Because you look like a hoodlum who sucks cock for meth.
>I abuse anything
Also, if using your own piss, don't let the beginning of the stream co in the cup. Whatever is in your system will be more concentrated there. Piss in the toilet for a couple seconds then fill the cup. Good luck OP. Don't be so retarded next time.
You edgy little worm. Doctors spend nearly a decade of education to get their title, are required to be state licensed and sanctioned, and have taken the Hippocratic oath. Your edgy little illegal drugs like Marijuana are sold by fuckheads who would be just as glad to see you dead, as would I
struggling to find a job, user?
You are baiting these kids so hard it's fucking hilarious.
You So fucked ...............
Just hang yourself and Sup Forums done with it...
Great come back fag
Low IQ detected
In future keep your own clean piss after a long break and keep it in the fridge. Put it under a lamp the night before and find a way to smuggle it in.
This.
How dumb are you that you smoke when you're looking for a job? Most places I know do drug tests, so this shouldn't have been a surprise to you.
Do you know even what green text means?
this may work idk but I personally do know that the drinks work and dont pop positive for dillution.
go to head shop buy drink pass test and profit nigga
At least I can still pass a drug test.
hey nerd fuck fuckin you
OP here, just want to reiterate that i do understand that i'm not some sort of hard-done-by victim, the world doesn't owe me anything, am a degenerate etc etc. I should have abstained for a longer period of time, but the offer was made to me on a very short timeframe. if i'd known earlier, I would have stopped smoking
and jesus fuck, i'm not the one(s) arguing about whether or not weed is the devil or whatever. that's not what i'm here for.
i know that abstaining is the most foolpoof method, but the whole situation happened on very short notice. i'm going to at least give it a try because who knows, I might pass
the instructions on the drink suggest to drink it an hour or two before your test. i might do the pectin method right now if that would be a good idea
thanks for the tip, user. i heard from other places that the first and last of your piss stream is the most "contaminated"
The detox drink works usually too: I used it to get in the military, drink it, pound a fuck ton of water, piss like 4-6 times, once the color of your piss changes noticeably then your ready for your test. I would prep with drink atleast 2 hours before test.
bro is a heavy smoker.
maybe >1 gram per day for like 6 years
came out clean after not smoking for like 2 days and drinking one of those detox things.
All these oldheads with superiority complexes, hurr im over the age of 30 therefore my opinions and beliefs are automatically better than anyone younger than me.
we are not talking about doctors or pushers here. We're talking about drugs. Some prescription drugs are very very addictive and deadly on high doses.
>protip: doctors only care about money and care little about you or your health
>protip: doctors only care about money and care little about you or your health
Disgusting libelous and possibly illegal statement
Depending on how much/often you smoked before sunday, and your weight you could possibly pass. Dont listen to these faggots that are saying you're fucked.
The fruit pectin and gatorade trick works though. I did it a few times. Mind you i had about 6-7 days from the time i last smoked weed.
Make sure you piss a little AND THEN piss in the cup. Never get the first and last drops of your piss.
Good luck man. It's a nerveracking situation to be in.
kill your self faggot
no one cares about your war on pot
>Hey nerd fuck fuckin you
Could you say that again cant hear it over my negative test results
You're fucked thc stays in the system longer than any other drug, good luck you stupid faggot
If you only smoked a couple joints or so, and didn't smoke regularly before then, you'll probably be fine. There is an "acceptable " level. It's above zero. Not far above, but above. Therefore, the combined methods mentioned here will likely get you a pass.
I work 60 hrs a week dude, ofc i meant the bible thing figuratively, dumbass how the Fuck do i know wether or not faggot reads the bible?
so you are normal because you read and follow the bible?
nigger please those are the second most sketchy people around
smoke more cigarettes, piss more, you'll b fine. don't sleep
>Disgusting libelous and possibly illegal statement
Disgusting, libellous and possibly illegal statement
It wont work, stupid stoner. weed is lipophilic meaning it gets stored in fat and subsequently gets constantly released as the body naturally cleanses itself. you're gonna need at least 2 weeks and a lot of exercise to get rid of the THC in your system. have fun losing your job.
anybody know what the efficiency limitations problems basically pros and cons of synthetic urine are?
I've heard very good things about it
You seem to not know what green text is, I bet you call it meme arrows. And who gives a fuck if you work 45 hours a week. Everyone and their mom does that.
even though you're an enormous cunt that was kek worthy
I don't have pass a drug test you pice of shit! I own my own company. My employees are not tested for cannabis. Alcohol is more of a problem.
If you want to test for something that causes retards to abandon their work every 20 minutes, then test for fucking NICOTINE
i probably smoke twice a week, pretty light smoker. we'll just have to see how it goes.
when do you drink the pectin/gatorade mix? i was thinking about drinking the mixture in the morning of the test and drinking the detox drink a couple hours before the test, with water in between
stick to drug tests fag you wont do so well on the hiv test
Have fun failing due to a diluted sample. If the people doing the testing aren't retarded they'll realize what you were trying to do and fail your stupid ass.
>i hate weed bc im a brainwashed idiot
>see kid post about trying to get a job
>"ill lie to him to fuck with him"
>world improved
he's not lying though
you almost had it and then fucked it up stupid
JUST FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS
I failed once due to being properly hydrated with no weed in my system.
"If the bowl is white you're in the fight" and you also fail as an INDETERMINATE-DILUTE.
But, the job I was offered you got another chance to test