Lads, it's happened
Lochted Up Abroad
Sorry, ameribros. We promise not to boo them too hard in the meantime.
Lochte is lucky. they are probably going to paddle their asses
Why is it so hard to believe that someone was robbed at gunpoint at 4am in fucking Rio de Janeiro.
>yeah like 5 teams have already been robbed and toilets flushed into other peoples rooms, and half the city is a favela, but he's making rio look bad! Throw the book at him!
what's the purpose of lying about getting robbed? idgi.
sick link
Lochte's girlfriend was with him in Rio and they had to bullshit an excuse on why they came back so late missing all their money that wasn't "We spent it all on hookers and blow."
Turns out that "Some dudes stole it" was the best a group of drunk guys at 4 in the morning could come up with.
They were probably snorting coke with some trannies and don't want the story to leak, that's why they made up this story. We all know americans love brazilian trannies.
Loving every single american tweet
>the american government should intervene
>with trump this wouldn't happen
>it's a conspiracy by the brazilian government
>don't abandon them like the marines in mexico
Is this really something worth creating an international news story by indefinitely detaining two or three Olympic athletes over though?
Like, proving that they lied won't really make anyone think Rio is safer.
That's not how justice is supposed to work mate
Time to invade. this Brazilian dictatorship needs to come to an end, they probably have wmds too
Fuck off, it's only an international news story because American media is extremely butthurt. They're going to talk to them for a bit and if they did lie they won't even go to jail like they should, a fine will be good. Meanwhile I'm loving every laugh like
I don't speak monkey
Yeah. They are very delusional.
A literal mongoloid get caught for lying and they are already calling to nuclear war was a retalation..
Calm down, bro, it's just to teach some of you guys a lesson.
If the Nationalities were reversed this wouldn't be a big deal at all. At all. Really makes you think.
Kek, care to share some?
see
How dirty of Brazil. They have shit athletes so they try and steal ours. This ain't how it's done Brazil.
He basically told NBC's Matt Lauer (is that his name? The news anchor dude?) a third version of the robbery story, that also contradicts both previous statements. He's lying out of his ass.
Nothing is greater than watching huemonkeys get trolled
Based Brazil, pls dont let this faggot return to this country
I don't give a shit what happens to anyone. I'm just glad I'm not Brazilian.
Because people remember things clearly when under traumatic situations and when they are tired
Try telling an US police officer multiple versions of a story during an investigation to see if they'll let you go because you might be tired.
>mfw the american next to me was trying to flee the country to avoid charges
>not allowed to go back to your country
>exposed to the entire world as a liar
>probably will be revealed that you did drugs and fucked a transvestite
>will have to stay in jail
a master trole
If you were french or british, I would probably go 'boo' on you right now, but 'boo' is too close to 'boom' and you guys have a bad history with people blowing your shit up, so I'll let it pass, amerifriend.
whatever
locht is home though, that's the boypussy I wanted the most.
he's already home you idiot
the weakest part of this logic is thinking somehow his girlfriend knows about or has any control over how lochte spends his money
he was snap chatting and shit from the club, wasnt exactly a secret he was out making it rain
Police don't interrogate faulty witnesses and are trained to know the difference between deceit and ignorance
Yeah making up a story involving police robbing you is totally the best way to avoid drawing attention to your crimes
They were probably snorting coke and fucking trannies when a COP told them if they didn't pay a little extra they would arrest them and expose them
Great cops you have their, don't prosecute the coke dealer, rob the buyers!
I'm actually fine with sending Lochte back. Too bad we don't have an extradition agreement.
>"They told me to go back and then I was like 'whatever' and they said I was a lying dicksucker and I was going to jail and I was ike 'whatever'
>they were probably
This is not Minority Report, son. Let's talk facts here. Check the tapes.
>3rd world shithole arrests potential victims of a crime to find out if they really are victims or not
>"They told me to go back and then I was like 'Jeah™' and they said I was a lying dicksucker and I was going to jail and I was ike 'Jeah™'.
This to be honest family
Just keep him and hang him upside down
Can't believe Americans are actually defending this retard
Brazil is a fucking disgrace
>making it rain
>still have money to be robbed
errors
I don't even care if he lied. The fact it caused this much buttdevastation in hueland is hilarious.
If Brazil just ignored it no one would even be talking about it anymore. But now every story about it keeps bringing up how the crime rate in Rio is very high. Brazil played themselves trying to save face.
>there's already proof they're not victims of any crime
no (You)s for this?
here ya go lad
>Brazilian athletes
>humble, some had extremely poor upbringings, many are patriotic soldiers
>United Statian athletes
>criminal stoner lying maniacs
Why lie about being held up at gunpoint? If you're fucking trannies, bribe anyone who saw you, and don't talk to anyone! Even the GF angle makes no sense. "Where's your wallet/phone?" "I was drunk and I lost them". Boom, done.
>buttdevastation in hueland
Mate, we are the last people buttdevasted here. Take a look at your media reports. The problem is that you don't understand, americans aren't above the law anywhere.
lying to police is a crime
Lol like you monkeys have any proof of anything. A 5 second video clip doesn't cover the entire night
>h-he was cheating on his girlfirend and didn't want her to know he was out even though he snapchatted himself at the club
>humble
>encouraging booing of athletes from other nations
>buttdevastation
HAHAHAHAHA yeah the Brazilians are the ones going to Twitter to tell Trump to bring our boys back
All our media reports imply heavily that he was lying. It's a pretty minor story over here since unlike you we have actual things going on to cover.
lol ok shitskin
enjoying your bankrupt failure of a country with no economy?
you biggest business is eating shit
Not US cops.
They're taught to shoot first and cover up later.
kek the first thread about this was 90% burgers talking about MUH ACT OF WAR AND SHEEEEIT, it's a funny story and hurts the image of burgers so it's spiced just perfectly for shitposting
This is the GOAT mystery
>Integrity of corrupt shitstain Brazil
vs
>Reliability of retard shitstain Lochte
>buttdevastation in hueland
>americans are saying this is outrageous, citing Munich '72
>Lochte literally fled the country
lal
He thought a robbery story in Brazil wouldn't get traction in the worldwide news. He was obviously trying to save face with his mom / gf after a crazy night of partying in Lagoa Rodrigo de Freitas.
Because he is a idiot?
I don't know who this mofo is but, from what you guys have been telling, he seems to be the most retarted person in USA.
Did you watch the crying frog in the podium? The hue encouraged applause.
>even though he snapchatted himself at the club
And then he said it took him 2 hours to get from where the party was happening to the Olympic Park, but in truth it only takes 20~30 min max to get there, even with traffic. I bet he dindu nuffin.
>both things cant be resolved at the same time
alot of corrupted politicians were already jailed, the process is slow and difficult
Considering Lochte is a literal retard, I'm impressed he was able to convince two others to stay behind and stick to the story
this
It's a truly great battle of incompetence.
This whole thing has turned into a shitstorm of epic proportions, the guy was probably just enjoying some hookers, had to come up with an excuse to not bust himself and lied to the police.
The real question is: why all this? Is it really something so big to stop these people to leave the country? Either the judge who is conducting this case is acting way above her head or theres more to this case that the media has not told us.
Not sure he's smart enough to have come up with it. He was probably just gonna tell everyone about the great girl penis they have in rio
It's just some banter.
I fucking love the Olympics.
>media calls up Lochte
>he's just chilling back in the U.S.
>compares Brazil cops to U.S. cops
>says how much more diligent and thorough the U.S. cops are
This is truly a man who gives no fucks
i wonder if he was a black athlete american posts on Sup Forums would be different
Do they cover the subject of fallacious arguments in your country, bro? It seems you might have missed that lesson.
I love him
He's a fucking idiot and a true American
GIVE HIM BACK REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
You're not accounting for the delay caused by being robbed
if Lochte ever get back, the police will definitely torture him for all this shaming
kek why would he go back? He shitposted and left before the banhammer came down. The perfect crime.
The brazilian police is using Lochte's dumbass to teach some foreign people a lesson. That's all. Serves them right.
yeah this totally doesn't make Brazil look like more of a shithole
someone's gotta swing their little dick and pretend they are competent so they overreach their powers. happens here all the time.
>her head
Suddenly it all becomes clear. An emotional judge making the decisions based on feels. We actually have those too :/ I'd bet a good sum the bitch is up for reelection or something
>see Twitter comments by Americans
"Lochte a good boy he dindu nuffin"
Wouldn't put it past him to accidentally fly back to brazil
Damn, so he was held hostage for an hour or more by the robbers, who, by the way, only took some money and left him with his smartphone, watch, passport and ID? He certainly didn't look for the police after he was robbed, since he said he went straight to the Olympic Park.
this is not a nobody's land
aqui se faz, aqui se paga
>files a false police report thereby making an international mockery of brazil and its justice system
>"it's just some banter"
never change, brazil
>can't police your own city
>try to police the world
That lesson is: when we rob you and tell you not to say shit you better not say shit
>big mugging story probably faked by burgers
>burgers are now possible criminals
>he thinks it somehow damaged hueland's reputation
How long does the average robbery usually take in hueland? Asking for a friend
>these cops could be saving child prostitutes on the streets but instead they're wasting their time slapping the wrist of someone who may have lied about a crime just because he's a big strong american and they want to set an example
How does this make your police force look better?
>this thread
Americans actually trying to look like they're the master troll, lmfao
The irony of this post is pretty great desu
>guy tells a fake story to keep his mom happy
>banana republic shuts down its borders to keep them in and demand an apology
This should be considered an act of war and we should start carpet bombing them ASAP
I was being ironic you dense fatso.
Honestly, what else would you consider our country?
It won't last forever, but our country has been the troll of the world for a while
>United States police officers are interfering in other countries
army =/= police smart guy
Probably less than 30 seconds.
brazil police is interfering in other countries? what?