ITT - things Russians never say

ITT - things Russians never say

I'll start:

I don't have any female relatives who work as prostitutes

I don't.

*writes in fluent english*

i really enjoy living here

I don't.

I have a nuanced understanding of geopolitics, and the actions of my country are defensible.

I enjoy living in my home country

Katyń massacre was perpetrated by NKVD

It was.

My life is good. I am happy. I don't have a drinking problem.

"we need immigrants to fuck our women."

I'm free!

I've never been bored enough to watch animals have sex for entertainment.

I'm not alcoholic

The obsession continues

No one in my family is a drug addict

Yeah, sometimes we watch Australian porn

Ukraine is a legitimate ethnicity and I'm sorry for what my government is doing to oppress Ukrainians.

What the fuck dude, my brother died because of that and you make jokes just like that?
Fucking redcoat wankers.

British women are very attractive

>Ukraine is a legitimate ethnicity
Yep.

We can't be sorry for something we have no control over.

I'm kind of seething with anger right now, to be quite honest.

I never used injectable drugs

>i believe your proofs and acknowledge that i am wrong

My family tree has more than one branch.

I've heard russians say that a few times desu.

I don't have any female relatives who work as prostitutes

All of Russian media are full of government propaganda and should not be trusted as credible source of information.

No one in my family is a drug addict
I'm not alcoholic
My life is good. I am happy. I don't have a drinking problem.
Katyń massacre was perpetrated by NKVD
I never used injectable drugs only patches
Get rekt faggots

There is no reason to turn gay if you're a classic inbred Englishman.

t.Achmed

well ofcourse you don't say it, that's the whole point

Ahmed is the most popular name in UK.

I would certainly stop to help a bicyclist I ran over do to my own negligence.

I don't have any carpets pinned to my wall

Good exists in the world. A random stranger on the street would look out for me. I would look out for them.

I don't have any carpets pinned to my wall
>t.moved 1 hour ago

underrated post

I feel

There is a black man living within a kilometre of myself

I don't live in commieblock

I've never sat on a bottle before.

>i don't drink vodka
>i'm attractive

I respect Ukranian national sovereignty.

I wonder how this folks can afford a camera. I mean I don't have it cause it's utterly useless with my neet style of life, but why such human trash have it?

This thread is rude and I do not like it.

My heart has not been frozen cold by a world that has taught me not to trust or care about others. Cynicism and nihilism do not permeate my worldview.

Truthfully, we were the ones that shot down MH17 killing 298 innocents.

No one, lol. Except for me. But I'm not a junky actually, just smoke weed from time to time.

Magnificent post

Sorry man. I just hate Russia the country. Russians themselves can be bros. But seriously, fuck Russia.

>UK and its thread.

I use cash money to pay for all goods and services provided while visiting europe as a tourist do to a personal preference and not because I am engaged in extensive illegal tax evasion and embezzlement.

I'm an excellent driver and always follow the rules of the road

I can respond to criticism without agression

... well, fuck you senpai. a good solid glass bottle is much better than sex shops dildo.

I don't think many people here have read Dostoevsky's books.

Torturing small animals does not give me a chubby.

Stalin was a vile man

>in russia we are very poor
>my family can not afford expensive fancy dildo like ukranian or american
>we sit on glass bottle because it all we can afford

i'm going to university

accurate

I don't get it. What's the problem with debit cards and unofficial salary?

Jokes on you, I don't drive. Trolleybuses are superior.

There is a black man living within a kilometre of myself
Hes always doing pushups on my turnichki

I never give up First Blood.

Universities here are free, sempai.

I'm gay

Gitler was a good man.

>i never dive under the tower with no hp to blame my teammates right after

Bears are dangerous

I'm gay

those are our soldiers

I'll say anything you want me to, free of charge.

I respect peace

>I don't get it.
Now there's something russians say everyday.

I'm happy with my life.

>I always play support.

I'm not envious of everyone around me

>Finn said something stupid
>Russian didn't get it
Yeah a daily thing.

"I love Poland :3"

I'm horrified at how my ancestors treated indigenous Siberians.

And I hate Australia. Both people and the country. But Sup Forums is supposed to be a no bullying zone.

>i played support at least once
>i engage in productive communication with my teammates

don't underestimate a finn twice

I don't think being a criminal is a respectable career choice.

then you have no excuse

I like Poland

I don't give a shit

I never ask "any russians?" in online games

We are indeed helping Russian seperatists in Ukraine

>int
>No bullying zone
Ask Indians what they think about it

I avoid russians in online games intentionally

Ukraine exists

I totally understand that Russian stereotypes are meant as a joke and you should not take them serious

A potato-vodka based diet is unhealthy

Good luck evading your kind in DOTA and having nice ping at the same time.

>i never resume the game if player on the other team DCd

>I'm not alcoholic
In Russian standards

Players of other nationalities enjoy playing online videogames with me do to my friendly attitude and good manners.

I'm human

Yeah because other nations take jokes about them so well right?