ITT - things Americans never say

ITT - things Americans never say

I'll start:

I've never been shot

I don't watch cuckold porn

My body fat % is lower than 20

I'm white

I've eaten enough, thank you.

>I've never been shot
>I don't watch cuckhold porn
>my body fat% is less than 20%
>I'm white
>I've eaten enough, thank you

Get fucked you niggers

Yes, it is actually our fault.

You quoted us. You never said it lmao.

I don`t like both Hillary and Trump?

I hate mayonnaise

tips are included

I don't think that mindless violence is the answer to every problem.

>this flag
>these posts

This guy, that was legitimately elected according to the rules that we put ourselves, is my president even if I don't like him.

Why no, that is my son not my wife's son

I enjoy good beers

Having more than 2 political parties might be a good idea

I never shat myself on a wallmart.

"Am I pronouncing this correctly?"

No, Tyrone, you can't have sex with my wife.

I suppose both of Russia and US do this. It`s a big country syndrom I guess.

>replying to leafs
What are you doing, nigger

I think I'll walk there

Wait isn`t it a British traditon that American brought?

I don't think that having sex with my sister is a good idea.

>American education is among the best in the world

I lack knowledge in this area and think it would be wise to learn more before forming an opinion of it

The Earth revolves around the Sun.

"how much is this in metric units?"

kay

yes, that must be the reason of why you're known for your intelligence

You might have the best universities in the world (allegedly) but no one can afford to go to them

Owning a pickup truck? What for? Lowe's do home deliveries for cheaper.

I own a crown vic to look like a cool cop

>I'd like to have a salad meal with soda water please.

I had a Syrian refugee girl eat peanut butter out of my foreskin as payment for a Kinder egg.

We lost a war to the Brits

My penis is not mutilated

I get where our britfag cousins, might say this, but many US cities are spread out without adequate public transportation.

fuck the jews

>I hate mayonnaise
got us confused with the leaf pals to the north.

Will admit portion control is a huge problem in this country along with sodium. Salt is in everything. This the case for sodium in Europe?

"The bed is too big."
[spoiler]I had one huge bed get imported because krauts love it tiny.[/spoiler]

I have never been shot

We apologize for our war crimes against the world.

I'm so sorry for nuked Japan twice.

If you say, "fuck the jews" in public, you have a problem.

The United States Constitution is a failed experiment

I can count past eight

I'm not a fat cuckold.

I'm sorry that people who are not me from my country nuked people from your country who are not you. I'm also sorry that I share the same skin color as people who owned slaves 100 years before I was born and I would like to pay reparations to those whose ancestors were enslaved but never suffered as slaves themselves to deserve any compensation.

...

I can drive a manual

...

non-americans don't obsess over me to embarrassing lengths

>comparing the us to russia
absolutely disgusting
fuck off.

I've never been shot

"That didn't feel wet at all"

supposed to be what we never say, not what we say, retard

I'm not hungry

fuck off, the strong never apologize
the weak should apologize and ask for more

Euros abandoned clothes lines in favor of technology

-Thank you
-You're welcome
-Please

>when Japan invents animoo as a form of weaponised autism against the us for hiroshima and nagasaki, but it backfires so bad that Japan now has one of the lowest birth rates in the world

Western Europe is white
Especially Sweden

I'm not weirdly obsessed with Swedish demographics

I like the fact that Swedish people are white. Niggers are not my racial fetish.

God bless the queen

Mexicans never lose their heads.

I haven't been shot, but I have been shot at. Does this count?

yes

I think I've spent enough money on guns.

Brits are not weirdly obsessed with me and never create obsessive threads about me to comment on what I am obsessed with

Because Britain has a lower HDI than Mississippi.

Admittedly true, that's why i support Tugger.

>>>/faggotslant/

There's quite a few of us that feel that way. Most people seem to have fallen for the "lesser of two evils" meme.

>I don`t like both Hillary and Trump?
That's most people here, except for rednecks. I'm conservative but Drumpf is way too much of a loose cannon for my tastes

...

"No, thanks, I'm full"
"Yesterday I read a really good book"
"I, for one, don't see the appeal of BBC"

>Drumpf
how is this STILL a thing?

pretty sure people are only saying it ironically at this point.

tfw you hate america and americans but you live there

I did have sexual relationships with that woman

been saying this for years.

why can't libs accept what he identifies as?

butthurt because you lost the war still?

>1st Amendment to let us speak our opinions and tell others theirs is shit
>2nd Amendment to shoot every single refugee
I think it deserves an A+.

>We ruined the Middle East
>Humans shouldn't eat deep fried butter
>I don't have to 20k$ for getting my blood pressure checked

Are you a real Saudi or a proxy? I thought you people were forbidden internet access?

I think I'll go on a diet.

I don't have a folder for each European country full of statistics and screenshots of news articles

Stump the Trump.

Excuse me clerk, could you direct me to the washroom?

Sodium isn't half the problem sugar is

It was an interesting book.

I prefer to consume government subsidised GMO high fructose corn syrup rather than pure and natural cane sugar in my coca-cola

"we've been the bad guys all along"

We weren't that important in beating Germany during WWII

dont bully america you pieces of shit
you are using an american internet