>Walk out into the middle of the street with hundreds of people watching.
>Pull out a can of spraypaint and cover the invisible creature with it.
>Scream that an invisible monster is chasing you, videotape it.
>Hand deliver the tape to the US army and ask for help.
>They trap it in a 10,000 inch steel box and experiment on it for decades.
This would work.
just fuck a cheap whore
We wouldn't get stealth technology for our troops.
monster's not dumb. Remember in the beginning when jay was at the theater with that guy and he points out the girl in the yellow dress that was the monster? the monster wasn't chasing him there, it was standing still. It would wait until she was isolated or in a smaller group before killing them.
the spray paint would be a surprise. The monster wouldn't see it coming
people would think it's performance art and not do anything
Okay isolate yourself then spraypaint all over it, then go to a crowded place
Also this movie is garbage OP
>that swimming pool scene
>that entire ending sequence
Why?
whats wrong with the swimming pool scene?
did you watch the movie? It can change bodies. also you're taste is shit
>fly to thailand fuck a femboy prostitute
>she fucks 1000 british men
>fly to america fuck a bbc
>he fucks 1000 white women
>fly to sweden rape a 12 year old boy
>he gets gangbanged by 1000 muslims
lock the monster up for an entire generation, profit?
>Go to Amsterdam
>Fuck a window hooker
>Immediately grab a guy off the street and buy him the same hooker
>Tell him you'll buy him another hooker tomorrow if he wants to hang out (claim you're just bored/lonely with money to burn)
>Repeat with another guy as many times as you feel necessary
>Add guys to facebook
>If you see they all die go back to Amsterdam and do it again
I want them to make a sequel to this, except instead of making it about another group of teenagers running from the monster, it's about a guy who's been chased by it for years. Instead of just running from it, he's traveling around the country trying to follow the fuck-sequence backwards and murder everyone who was ever a part of it because he figures that's the only way to actually stop the monster for good after he dies. All he'd have to find out from his victims before he kills them is who fucked them and gave them the curse or whatever it is. You could call it, "He Follows, Too". It's gonna be great.
This, please. This sounds amazing.
>Fuck a cheap whore
>Cheap whore fucks some lonely guy
>Lonely guy doesn't have sex recently after fucking the whore because one whore every 3 weeks is plenty
>Gets killed by the demon
>Cheap whore gets killed by the demon
>You have your guard down because you thought you were in the clear
>you get killed by the demon
>fuck a prostitute
>she fucks a guy and gives monster to him
>he's a beta who has to go to Thailand to have sex
>he dies
>goes back for prostitute and kills her
>goes for you now thinking you're home free and don't have to worry about it ever again
Just get a room already
obvious virgin
this idea falls through because one night stands often end with you not knowing anything about the person you had sex with
Maybe he could talk about how he's been chased for so long that he knows the exact speed of the monster and makes calculations about how long he has to kill the person before the monster reaches his location. You could have a flashback scene of him figuring it out by standing in a giant field or something next to his car (so he can get away before the monster gets too close) with a stopwatch and like a tape measure or some other marker in front of him waiting for the monster to come so he can time how fast it walks.
but that's what would make it exciting if he only knew whatever some slut could remember
although if she had blacked out or something i guess he'd be fucked
solution= find someone to have sex with non stop and the curse will constantly be transferred between you and them and the monster will be too confused to do anything
solution = fuck the monster
>fuck a lobster
>house it in a fishtank, inside a safe, inside another safe
>have video cameras to look at it and auto feed it
>lobsters are biologically immortal
>creature can't get to lobster
>you're good to go
seriously guys use your brain
How would you fuck a lobster without damaging it?
I have a very small penis so I think I'd be fine, you might be fuck though
buy it dinner first and cuddle afterwards
Damn, lucky you
What if it just gets to a point where the person it would kill is already dead?
As the lonely guy gets killed, the whore is fucking another lonely guy, though. You're basically sacrificing a load of pathetic losers to save yourself.
Solution: Don't have sex with people you've just met.
It isn't a video game, retard. Sit and ponder the implications for a while, that's the point.
the creature has a pretty obvious canon algorithm, so obvious that we can make some reasonable assumptions. If for whatever reason the current target is dead (whether monster kills it or not), it just re-targets the previous target.
10 STALK-AND-KILL
20 IF(CURRENT)=DEAD
30 ASSIGN(CURRENT--)=CURRENT
40 GOTO 10
that ho is gonna have a day off eventually
I'm not OP but he has a point. The creature is not completely a spoopy, metaphysical ghost, but a tangible entity whose effects can be observed by those who cannot see it with the naked eye. It can be felt, touched, (heard?)
Since the creature has a physicality, and since it even carries notions of "re-spawning" in a given place, always using a simple follow-algorithm, thinking of the creature in terms of a video game enemy is a natural step.
>a car rushes past you
>you purse your lips, spray can in hand
>passers by turn to look at you standing in the street
>a few people stop to look at you
>the demon steps off the sidewalk onto the road
>you turn your head away, eyeing it from the side
>the demon pauses and steps back onto the sidewalk
>you turn to glare at it
>more people stop to look at you
>cars honk at you as they pass
>someone yells "get off the road"
>you turn back to the demon to, ready to ridicule it, egg it on
>the demon is gone
>no, wait, it changed form
>more people gather to watch this mad man in the middle of the street
>oh no... which one of them is the demon
>everyone is murmuring and eyeing you
>you rush away, making sure to not contact any of the crowd members
>a small group of them come towards you
>"are you okay buddy?"
>"no, get away! don't touch me!"
>you run and bump into a hard body
>it's a cop
>you try to get away but he tackles you
...
>you're thrown into a cell
>"kid must be high on something"
>you sit back in the cell, eyeing the door through the bars
>you lean back
>"chirst, i can't believe this is fucking happening."
>from the corner of your eye you see someone sitting in the cell with you
>he's staring at you
>he gets up
>walks towards you
>...
>Autist trying to out autistic another autists hypothetical with an even more autistic hypothetical.
This post is so Sup Forums.
If you kill the person who gave it to you and then get yourself killed by the creature, where does the creature go? Back to the person before the one you killed or does it die?
Thai prostitute is a good plan because she'd probably fuck another brit beta in the time it takes it to get back to Thailand and that Brit would probably be flying back home so it would have to chase the new target again and repeat.
It was Michigan. Nobody knows what the fuck performance art is.
eventually it would work it's way back, dumby.
why? because allthough the whore is promiscuous, many of hter clients won't be so, eventually one of teh clients will fuck the whore, fuck no one else, get killed and unluckily the whore will get killed before she sees anotehr client, e.g. while on holiday or visiting her family.
What you actually need is to introduce teh follower into a network of sexually promiscuous people which can be modelled as a markov birth death process, a transient one where the expected return time is infinite and the extinction probability is very close to zero.
the answer?
You need to have sex with a porn star!
The porn industry will increase the "length of the chain" faster than the follower can decrease teh length of the chain as long as teh US economy stays strong and no major natural disaster happens.
you'd have to find a porn star who is still filming but also does occasional escorting and you'd need to shell out the 1000 bucks or whatever it is for the hour.
Hopefully protected sex counts or else you'd have to rape her and hope she doesn't go to the police
This is what I thought would happen.
That movie isn't really very scary when you're nearing your wizardhood
What age do I need to be to become a wizard? Already 20 and still didn't get pussy yet, as of this post's writing.
The swimming pool scene was...bad, yes. But I have no problem with the ending sequence.
>Hand deliver the tape to the US army and ask for help.
Always with the army...
You just fucked a bbc and raped a 12 year old boy for no reason. The monster only ever catches up to once it kills everyone after your first sexual encounter. Having sex in between that does nothing for you.
This movie was fucking trash and you're all idiots.
Will you stop shilling your shitty movie David you fucking hack (see you next week).
>porn star!
they don't have anymore sex than regular whores, and they work mostly with the same ~5 actors.
Shit idea, sport.
Wouldn't it be better to make some kind of cult though, like a circle of people who constantly has sex with each other, passing by the curse with one another, one by one, and while the curse in with someone, the others protect him and try to figure out how to kill the thing. I think it would work, but you need people willing to have homosexual sex or sex with two different people.
Why would you need homos?
No no this is all wrong.
If you don't tell someone what is going on, they will be dead in a week without passing it on and it will quickly be back to you
The only way to beat this is simply pass it along and fully explain to the next person what is happening and how to pass it on. If people keep doing it, it will keep passing on and you won't die
The guy who gave it to this girl in the movie did it perfectly.
Then why was it chasing people in public places at other points in the movie like at the school? Was it gonna fuck that chick to death in the hall?
If you fucking throw paint on it that won't matter, it will change for to you but every one else would just see an invisible person covered in paint.
>fly to other side of the world
>have sex with the biggest slut you can find
>fly back home
It walks so slow it'll take years to walk to China or wherever then walk back.
It's gonna take more than a day to walk across the world
>Calculate the approximate amount of time it would take to walk across the ocean
>Go fuck a prostitute every time in Thailand every time the clock runs out
Welcome to hooker town baby
what if you fuck the thing coming after you
This will be answered in Scary Movie 17
That's what the creature wants, it fucks the life out of you.
fuck him
it was pretty good desu
Both male porn stars and female porn stars will have a higher expected number of sexual partners per time period than just a regular prostitute-punter network, which means faster average chain growth and smaller probability of it going back to the initial state (you).
Why? Because a larger proportion of punters are not very sexually active while porn actors and actresses are.
Trust me kid the chain will grow faster and more consistently with the LA porn star network.
What's the chain of a porn star network vs that of your mothers?
It doesn't walk the whole way, it teleports vaguely close to you then walks the rest of the way, so that there is a maximum of like 1 or 2 days of stationary safety no matter where you go.
yeah this movie sucked.
great idea, but was half-ass execution.
A good monster premise, but ultimately a shitty plot device that imploded at the end, good thing critics/hipsters loved the STD metaphor.
It was a literal Semen Demon, user.
Uhhh WHAT? Where was that shown in the movie? The movie was clear that it just walks towards you, like the scene where it is just walking down the highway
it speaks more about how the horror genre is so shit when this is one of the best.
>lashing out at (bretty gud) OC with accusations of autism
sure, THAT post is """""so Sup Forums"""""
or maybe through a blanket over the ghost thing.
iono, the third act was complete shite.
i wanted the farting chick with glasses to die.
get "it", book trip to china or something. get through airport safely, it has to walk. As it's crossing a massive ocean, you're just chillen. week or two later, you head back. Creature, "fml gotta turn around." it likely falls into a massive trench, never to be seen again
No, "It" is supernatural and can disappear and change forms at will. It is not something that can be captured or killed.
making the demon physical was retarded, 3rd act was retarded garbage, very good until then,
Americans always have to fuck up good premise, trying to get a happy ending, fuck you cunts.
What about if I show it my peanus weanus hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
>It is not something that can be captured or killed.
bunch of dumb teens did just that, dingus
Underrated
But whatever you do, don't order the lobster; it will be very awkward.
pretty much this 2bh
the demon isn't stupid
ITT Sup Forums is too casual to /tg/ a monster hunt
...
this shouldn't have made me lol but it did
the whole swimming pool scene is easily the worst part of the movie.
My biggest problem with it is when an untrained kid headshots the thing while it's underwater next to his friend and doesn't hit her or miss, he get's a headshot after 3 shots. The water would refract light, there is no way a high schooler could do that without risking killing his friend.
ending is far from happy. At the end, they are totally uncertain if it is dead, so they will always have to be on guard. the only comfort is that they have each other to get through the struggle
what can we do user?
but that's actually the premise for the sequel. It was going to be a guy going down the chain and finding the origins of the thing.
>the US army is going to believe some /x/ tard and his youtube video
WE HAVE TO FIX IT
New HOW FIX HORROR FILM THREAD when?
But what if you fuck it in the ass?
Is the asshole not a loophole?
she's qt
bullshit, the thing bled and died, curse is over, they are together, faggot oneitis nerd got the dream blonde they had just enough shame not to giggle and laugh as to not to ruin the Tangerine Dream vibe.
Otherwise it's a vile Hollywood Ending.
I want to see her in a nazi uniform now for some reason.
>yfw no sex scene between the monster and qt maika as the ending.
you got the incest scene tho
He did have a pretty hot mom to be honest
...
thing had been shot in the head before and was fine. Director said that all the red was because it was super pissed. Characters at the end clearly still afraid for their lives, guy considers getting a hooker to pass it on. watch the movie again smart guy
would be better if the director said nothing at all.
>Director said that all the red was because it was super pissed.
>dat blatant fishing for a sequal
Wut, that's fucking retarded, he's retarded.
He's a worst shite filmmaker than I thought, pure trash.
It follows 2 or It Follows AGAIN?
i agree agree