ITT: we make soccer watchable

ITT: we make soccer watchable

>5 balls on the pitch at once
>one flaming ball added to play half way through the match that's worth 5 points
>hornets released onto the pitch in the last 5 minutes

>ads played every 2 minutes to satisfy consumer needs
>field different squads if your defending and resting so the players don't have to run too much and spend more time hyping the crowd up
>wear protection for aesthetics

ban usa

>if a player falls down he has 3 seconds to get up or he is ejected for 10 minutes

Ad 5 hours of ads on a 90 minute game to satisfy burger audience

cheerleaders
more patriotism pregame
massive carparks at stadiums to eat food in

Non-meme answer: Pausable timer so playing dead and wasting time is not a valid tactic.

You forgot to abolish all but 32 clubs and relocate them way out of the city do they are only accessible by car.

put different types of weapons around the field; each weapon can be used only once

Great, what if you do your ACL or get your leg broken?
well thought out ameridoop

Get rid of that arbitrary referee time added on at the end

>uh... I don't know I guess 3 minutes more
>n-no make it 5 minutes this time

>Square field
>one goal on each side
>5 balls
>4 teams playing at the same time

i said if he falls down, not if he's tackled.

Hello non-American friends

I'll assume you're all new here as not one of you has followed the standard procedure for when an American makes a post/thread about football. Allow me to teach you how to deal with this situation in the future.

So you've encountered a confused and angry American posting inane and dangerous opinions on a subject they know nothing about? don't panic and don't try to educate them as you will only encourage them to continue. All you need to do is reply to them with the three short lines of text below and you will improve Sup Forums for not only yourself but everybody else as well.
>That flag
>This topic
Opinion discarded.

If its not just an American post within a football related thread but an actual football related thread started by an American, just change the third line of text from "Opinion discarded." to "Opinion discarded, thread closed and hidden.".

If you've accidently read an American post/thread about football and find yourself in agreement with what they have posted, remind yourself of the infinite monkey theorem and follow the standard procedure.

Feel free to save this post to teach other new friends in the future and remember... only YOU can prevent Americans ruining football.

tips of truth right here

is this pasta? it smells fresh.

>0 (zero) gold medals
>having an opinion on sports

They should begin instructing officials to issue red cards for diving.

they won copa america in your soil so stfu

>ITT: we make soccer watchable

Take champions league, add euro cutie cheerleaders.

England would lose as usual

U23 only (brazil still gets neyney)

>wasting time is not a valid tactic.

>implying that the players will not play dead when they're winning the game
>implying that you ever played football in your mediocre life

If a player tears his ACL, being out for 10 isn't really a problem

>this flag
>this topic

ITT: we make america bearable

>kill all americans

Fucking amazing post-olympic sp. Crossboarders being gone so we can have some ameritard try to fix soccer everyday makes me happy

uh if that's the case he's out of the game for good regardless lol

this would actually stop pussyflopping

>flaming balls

M U L T I B A L L

Landmines.

Require guns

Makes goals be worth more points. 14 - 7 sounds a lot more exciting than 2 - 1