>Be burger
>roll off of my double-kingsize bed, slip on my crocs
>bathe in my xtrasize jumbo shower™
>drop my bigmac on the shower, cry
>get down for breakfast on my stairlevator™
>mom made bacon and pancakes, tip mom
>sing the national anthem before eating
>pour half a gallon of high fructose syrup on cardboard tasting pancakes (no maple syrup, ‘cause fuck Canada).
>add 1 ounce of “I can’t believe it’s not butter” because never learned a reasonable standard international unit, so must use ounces like a retarded kid making up measurements
>Go to school, tip teacher
>Sing national Anthem, get frisked for guns before going to class
>1 hours of pep rally for big game, tip cheerleaders
>2 hours of learning about creationism
> 1 hour of being molested by priests
Be burger
>be burger
food can't talk shut up
>Hear gunshots
>kid with giant assault rifle going nuts MGMT.mp3
>third time this week
>mental note to tip the teachers extra to make sure they are frisking everybody
>police arrives eating donuts on mobility scooters
> they kill shooter, plus 3 or 4 black kids from the neighborhood
> police officers automatically acquitted, because black kids looked dangerous
>tip cops, sing national anthem while they get their medals
>go back home, can’t eat tacos ‘cause they are too expensive (we needed that money to build a wall)
>get 4th mortgage on the same house
>watch as housing and credit markets collapse causing worldwide chaos
>buy tacos
>try to play fetch with my dog
>We both have heart attacks
>Get taken to hospital
>doctor is an Indian man, named Suresh
> my father complains Suresh is staling all the jobs
> father tells me that being schooled doesn’t mean being intelligent
> believe him, he is always employee of the month in Walmart
> tip Suresh
>get taken home, tip the ambulance guys
>MFW when 700,000.00 dollars bill arrives.
>Thank God we got rid of Obamacare.
>try to watch the news, but president Trump prohibited the news to transmit news
>end up watching 3 hours of Keeping up with the Kardashians
>next day go back to school
>have a surprise test on my American culture class!
>gonnafailthissohard.jpeg
>mfw the test is all about the Kardashians
> Ace test
>go back home
>make a thread praising Trump on Sup Forums
>itwasagoodday.txt
is this an >american thread?
>be paki
>blow your poop up
cannot fabricate
>Be paki
>Wake up
>Did not get blown up in sleep
>Pull my dick out of the goat
>Go to eat some breakfast
>Rocks and dirts hmmmmmm
>Ask Allah for forgiveness for leading such a lavish life
>Time for school
>Wear my best loin cloth
>Move bushes out of the way to get out of my cave
>Get on my camel
>giddy-up
>Wave to next door neighbour mustafa as he comes out from under his rock
>ohshit.jpg
>Forgot to do my homework
>Arrive to school
>Park my camel
>"Asalamualaikum user, this is the vip spot, it will cost you 3 goat testicles"
>pay him
>Good moring Abdul-sensei
>"user, I hope you did your homework, you remember what happend the last time "
>Sorry sensi but I was unable to collect any infidel blood
>"Oh user, you will fail jihad 101 at this rate, Its time to face the punishment"
>Teacher whistles
>Ahmed comes with his 12 inch blessed cock
>"user you cant do your homework because you've been possessed by the shaitan"
>Proceeds to exorcise my anus
>Get back home after exorcism
>Prettygoodday.mp3
holy fuck
>be pakistan
>die because my country is shit
>be paki
>blow yourself up at the local camel fucking brothel
>massive inferiority complex towards india
>Be paki
>Able to touch my toes
>Be paki
>Can poo in the loo
>>Be paki
>>Can poo in the loo
You sure about that user?
"More than 40 million Pakis poo in the open: Unicef"
dailymail.co.uk
>Percentage of pajeets that poo outside is 47(half the nation)
>Percentage of pakis that poo outside is 40/180*100 which is approximately 22%
Never implied that we don't infact top that ignominious list of nations. Learn to read user.
The #3 nation on that list mocking us for that is a classic case of pic related
> they kill shooter, plus 3 or 4 black kids from the neighborhood
Keked irl
>be paki/indian
>hate each other for whatever reason for centuries
>no one in the civilized world gives a fuck
>you are either a muslim, a liquor store vendor or a call center agent for anyone outside your cunts
kek
Underrated thread
QUALITY THREAD
>be Paco
>get shot by druglords
>if lucky cross illegally into Murica
>be Manuels and Consuellas cleaning toilets and mowing lawns (likely for an American Pajeet who's head and shoulders richer than any other ethnic group, let alone Pacos)
>demand Muh citizenship and gibsmedat since "no human is illegal"
>get completely BTFOed by an Orange cheeto
>get booted back to drug haven whose economy is starting to collapse
>get shot by druglords
RIP
good thread
>Be poland
>Sieg heil