/brit/

The Magic Key Edition

Other urls found in this thread:

dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4204306/Married-mum-admits-striptease-sex-schoolboys-16.html
heraldscotland.com/news/15076307.Support_for_independence_surges_following_May_s__hard__Brexit_vow/
youtube.com/watch?v=75XCEjXMBVk
dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4203276/Mother-furious-couple-s-public-sex-opposite-home.html
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

I thought the Tom and Jerry movie was pretty good

wasting my life, burning my youth.
I'll be the bitter old man full of regret that mouths off the carers in the retirement home

Wish I could get given just enough to live on until I die so I could volunteer forever

anyone know any good charities or organisations who will pay digs/expenses for you while you work but for little/no discretionary salary?

Happiest days of my life were before I worked and after I studied when I just volunteered but they couldn't pay me

>SNP MPs are told off for singing the EU national ANTHEM as historic Brexit laws clear the Commons

the fucking state of Scuckland in 2017

me on the left

he's right you know

Another funny thing about the roots miniseries

All the Africans are muscular gargantuan beasts while the Englishman are all pompous femboiis

The only one adept at being and terrifying the negroes is the angry ginger Irishman who unironically carries a shilealeagh

Cracks me the fuck up

Goodbye lads, the fact that Brexit is now fully confirmed means I'm going to emigrate to Canada and escape this dying shithole

piss off lad

we're going to to be fucked by loss of EU funds tbf. moreso than england/london

t-thanks

been in a coma lad?

Stop posting here too

made me think of mona the vampire desu

'd

niggers smell like poop and are subhuman scum that belong in the trash

Wojak > Gondola > Pepe > Spurdo

the absolute state of me

'kin 'ell

>tfw completely wasting my life but to intelligent to care

ahh

Pepe > wojack > spurdo > gondola

yo no necesito hablar para expresar una emocion me basta solo con miraaaar

seen this a million times and never noticed the guy in the attic lol

might go buy a pack of fags for the first time
please tell me what to ask for, like word for word what do i ask for

lmao

serves you right for being such a bunch of unbearable twats

once again you must experience the sassenach cock being thrust into your shitpipe

*looks at the state of your life*

fuuuuuuuckin......elllllllll.........

remember when i used to play wow and had this old gay guy from UK boosting me in multiple instances and giving me gold for just talking to him

good times (he paid for my first mount - this was in vanilla so that shit was expensive)

haha wouldn't go in there for a few minutes lads haha x

finished up a two-hour skype call with the 'ssus. She seemed upset about something.
Concerned with how it ended. Feel like I should call her back but she said goodnight already and it feels like she doesn't want to talk to me. I haven't even done anything wrong.

might buy one of those DE razors. Are they as good as people make them out to be?

I was holding out hope that our leaders wouldn't fully commit to the economic self immolation of a hard Brexit but I guess I was wrong, just hope you racists are happy that now your toilet cleaner won't be from another country.

20 john players please lad

missed the nigel farage show today lads

"alri m8, can I have a 20/10 deck of marlboro golds pls"

can't stand hearing people refer to women as "the missus", "her indoors", "bird" etc

"20 pack of marlboro reds please"

won't ask you any questions and you'll sound like a regular. make sure you take ID.

20 woodbine

>unbearable twats
we're literally just doing exactly what the english are doing
>muh sovereignty
difference is our grievance is a tad more legitimate since the UK government actually has sovereignty over scotland and wales whereas the EU doesn't have sovereignty over the UK

ive never heard anyone say her indoors

doing a depression

>BREAKING: Evacuation, injuries reported as blast & fire rip through #Paris metro station
fucking buddhist terrorists at it again
thats sarcasm
FUCK ISLAM

i've never smoked before but from googling i can tell that'll cost a fuckton m8, not made of money

he will be a paki instead of a pole

don't be childish

>marlboro
FOB
They provide the perfect ratio of quality and cost. Everthing else is utter shite or costs an arm and a leg

don't know why I've never even thought about buying a pack of fags just to see what it's like. Literally never once crossed my mind until I saw this post.

Hmm.

marlboro reds are a bit strong for a first time smoker m8

>tfw I do it all the time
not in front of the (ex)gf though obviously

*invents a mirror.png that actually looks like a mirror by hacking your web cam*

>smoking

Literally fuck off

BBBBBBRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAPPPPPP
snnnnniiiiiiffffffffffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....sssssssnniff...eggs I smell?...sniff sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff....quite pungent eggs yes very much so .....ssssssssssssssnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiffffff....ah yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff...but of yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....

BBRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPFFFFFLLLLLPPPPPPFFFFFF

Oh yes...very good!....very sloppy and wet my dear....hmmmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling.......hmmmmm....hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff.....sssssnnnnnnniiiiiiiiffffffff.....hmmm...hhhmmmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry......hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes.....onion and garlic chutney I take it my dear?.....hmmmmm....yes quite.....

BBBRRRRRRPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT

Oh I was not expecting that…that little gust my dear….you caught me off guard…yes…so gentle it was though…hmmmm…let me taste this little one…just one small sniff…..sniff…ah….ssssnnnnniiiiiffffff…and yet…so strong yes…the odor….sniff sniff…hmmm….is that….sniff….hmmm….I can almost taste it my dear…..yes….just…sniff….a little whiff more if you please…..ssssssnnniiiiiffffffffff…ah yes I have it now….yes quite….hhhhmmmm…delectable my dear…..quite exquisite yes…..I dare say…sniff….the most pungent one yet my dear….ssssnniiiifffffffffffff….yes

*blows smoke at you*

probably a gas leak

literally nobody smokes anymore these days

its just for the lowest of the low, the scum and shit of society

wish i was one of the lads ay

dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4204306/Married-mum-admits-striptease-sex-schoolboys-16.html

FOLiage

>FOB
yeah, I couldn't afford marlboro reds and switched to chesterfield reds but then it turned out one of my mates brings marlboro gold over from poland and I can get a 20 pack for £6.80

imagine that lad, a 20 pack of marlboro gold for just £6.80....

get b & h duel, you can try both normal or menthol flavoured then and decide which you prefer

Went to Taco bell with the gf earlier.

It was alright.

The burrito we got was actually decently spicy which surprised me for such a main stream food chain which gets a lot of custom from kids and fannies that can't handle spicy food.

Wanna hit?

Smoking in public should be punishable by stoning.

Imagine learning to roll your own and getting 2 weeks worth of tobacco for £10 you lazy shite

Screeching, the Daily Mail just does not give a fuck

i think it will make me look cooler

Give me advice please lads
I am a literal autist and don't have any idea how to properly handle this situation
refer to

Jealous of u rn

Currently smoking benson

>Victims

Wish I could cut my own hair

think of all the shekels I'd save over the years, instead of paying some overly-talkative guy £16 for the privilege.

B A K A
A
K
A

you don't know it yet but brexit is 'breaks it'

heraldscotland.com/news/15076307.Support_for_independence_surges_following_May_s__hard__Brexit_vow/

youtube.com/watch?v=75XCEjXMBVk

Englols btfo

i like brap posting because they post nice bums but not into farts myself

Very nice bum

>a woman is feeling feelings for no particular reason
And the sky is blue and hell is hot

Literally don't care

camel blue

Let's say there is this girl who you really like. You think she's perfect and you see her all the time at work but she has a BF. You ask her our anyway but she respectfully declines.

Then what? You really like her, can't stop thinking about her and can't avoid her.

Do you just carry on and try to be friends, ignore her or what the fuck?

This is my dilemma right now.

Gondola > Wojak > Spurdo >>>> Reddit Frog

it's ta-ra to her I guess

>tfw get my hair cut by a woman
>tfw pay just £10
>tfw she's qt, nice and makes my hair look good

been pissing in the sink for 3-4 years now, reckon i've saved approx 12,000 litres in toilet flushes

Literally me last year

Move on. Seriously

A pack of white zip zags and a clipper lighter

dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4203276/Mother-furious-couple-s-public-sex-opposite-home.html

Bridge of sighs: Disgusted mother, 19, spots a couple having SEX in an underpass outside her home in broad daylight

>mother
>19

let's cut out the middle man senpai ;)

Feels > Sadfrog > Spurdo > Gondola

If you disagree you're from reddit.

do you shave in the same sink?

ah so this is how we're going to fund out country after leaving the EU
we save money by scotland leaving

Don't ignore her per se but don't try to be her friend either. Just treat her like you would treat a normal work colleague. Also don't be a stupid cuck and ask out people at work unless it's a done deal.

how do they compare to chesterfields? be pretty difficult for them to be worse

I'd gotten so used to chesterfield reds that I completely forgot how awful they in comparison to marlboros

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHAT DO I DO YOU CUNT

Very good post

Not my question to answer. You broke it.

i get my haircut done at this muslim place only 9 quid

had it done by a woman once and tits kept bumping into my head

good lad

unironically saving the environment

vagina like a wheat puff

>Gondola
>Reddit

spot the redditor lmao lads

Business idea: genocide the scots

I'm seriously trying but I have to work directly with her and she gets me every fucking time.

>don't ask people out at work unless its a done deal

What are you even on about?

just send her a text saying she seemed upset about something on skype and that she can talk to you about it, as well as a love heart emoji or some other shite

the old gf was pissed at me once last year, very moody, kept mentioning she was not happy with me for days
I still don't know what it was

boils my piss when people want sympathy or act like they're some kind of hero because they've got a kid.

Go about your day as normal until she actually approaches you with a problem like a functioning human being. Women will get mad because she thinks you blinked too much during their last conversation and thus think she's fat or some weird shite. Just ignore it until something actually comes up.

No need for the melodramatics you big bender