Wife has cats, I can't stand them and the mess they create...

Wife has cats, I can't stand them and the mess they create. Any way to get rid of them and make it look like natural cause ..

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Just leave, moron.

>cat dies
>your whore of a wife gets new cat

you cant win do this ->

take them to humane society a few towns away and tell her they escaped

She made a deal once they are gone no more.
They are to scared to even go outside

What kind of mess? Cats are pretty easy.

Ive given the damned stray cats around my place tuna+antifreeze. That'll solve your problem but it won't be a natural death, the vet would confirm its been poisoned and it would come back to hurt you. Real advice now, cut the cats whiskers, they become super dicks or much more timid when it happens. Cutting the wiskers doesn't hurt em but it cuts off some senses, they legit feel more alone because of it, did that to my other cat that always broke shit by knocking it off the table, after that stopped exploring and just stuck to one area to feel safer

The downside is the cat could just get more aggressive since everything becomes much more uncomfortable and since it can't sense with the whiskers it'll just treat everything like a potential threat and then your wife will want to get rid of it

Also it's animal cruelty and all faggots that do this will burn in hell
>inb4 hell doesn't exist
You'll see nigger

Antifreeze won't work she would take it to vet. She thinks they do nothing wrong but they are scratching the baseboards and they have scratching post they use. Four cats and love for them to start "dying " over the next 6 months

Mess they create? What?

Rat poison in the tuna

They scratch everything and leave hair everywhere

sound like you have more of a problem with your wife
maybe shes not cleaning up after "her" pets
maybe you have a problem with passive aggression and not setting workable boundries and compromises

Fuck you faggot.

You're a little fucking bitch if you can't handle some cats, drink some bleach

She cleans up after them but four cats are messy

Kill yourself OP

Dude fuck yourself... "Man my wife has cats and I think I'll kill them so then it's just me and her"
1. It would make her sad, and you're a selfish prick
2. Murder is murder.
3. I hope you fucking die in a car wreck

I told you last time, but you would not listen.

whenever you are alone with the cats give them a brief tour of your clothes dryer. they will get the message

Checked

You're an idiot

You guys are pieces of shit

Seriously, cats are the easiest. I have 12 at the moment (I had 4 and 2 of them got pregnant) and there's no mess. They knock shit down sometimes but they're still kittens, the 4 adults don't make any messes at all.

The real problem here is you have inside cats. Put those fuckers out to shit and piss, and keeping an animal coupes up in a house isn't good anyways. Cats need to be able to go outside and play, lounge, whatever they do. You wouldn't keep your dog inside its whole life, would you?

What floor do you live on?
If first or not the 20th
bleach, ammonia, fish tank, go to work
if you live on the 20th
throw them out the fuckin window and claim feline stupidity.

Not to be an envirofag here, but millions of birds needlessly die because of outdoor cats. They don't eat them, only kill them. Additionally, they breed millions more FERAL cats; there are about as many tamed cats in america now as there are feral.

So basically, being an envirofag.

youtu.be/GpAFpwDVBJQ

Feed them antifreeze. Soak bologna in it. They eat it. Die.

Cats are awesome. You're just pissed off that you're basically cucked by a different species. Your wife knows you don't like cats and keeps them anyway... it's a whole new level of faggotry that you've plumbed.

Bake some sponge... they will eat it and die.

Crush morphine pills into powder and mix into meow mix.
>more than 10

convinced

>hog tie cats
>chop heads off with meat cleaver

Aspirin happens to be very fucking toxic to cats.

I love my two fuzzballs though.

Grab the little shits by hind legs and smack them against the ground until they go limp.

Fucking kek

>cucked by another species

OP you should get into the meat grinder to feed the cats because you are quite clearly the omega of the pack.

Alpha - Wife
Beta - Cats
Sub-beta-omega-an-hero - OP

nobody cares
and you only like cats because you have no real friends
>also, they smell like shit and so do you

edge lord

Kill your wife and beat the cats to death with her limbs

Fag face.

Fisting your cat slowly and passionately is an effective method of gaining it's trust
then when the time is right you rip out it's entrails.

Go on. .how

look here

> (OP)
>>cat dies
>>your whore of a wife gets new cat
>you cant win do this ->

and what mess is a cat creating. wtf? just leave.