Ask a real vampire anything

Ask a real vampire anything

Do you love to suck cum out of dicks?

U like garlic?

underage fag detected.

actually... yes i sometimes do, alot of vampires are bisexuals including me, during our long lives we grow tired of just heterosexual sex, so we dive into homosexual sex, orgies, and very often hardcore BDSM thanks to our regeneration factor

if you are a real vampire you can answer this question.
wich hat?

as cliché as it may sound... no i dont, we vampires dont like garlic, but its not like we fear it and that it could kill us... its just that our sence of smell is hightened compared to u humans, and garlic smells really disgusting

After the constant bullying at your middle school are you planning to an hero?

Did I make you laugh yesterday?

>real
>vampire

Choose one.

i was turned in my mid 30 but i sometimes take form of an underaged girl just for the fun of it, but never of underaged boy, they have small penises because they didnt go through puberty yet and hey... vampire or not, what male likes to see his penis shrinking?

Are you aware of how much of a fag you sound like?

In that case I will ask some more serious question:
How the fuck you guys did not take over the world in this whole time? Id wish to meet some real vampire so i can beat the shit out of him or be beaten to death :D

Why do you bullshit on Sup Forums?

>or actually answer this
The chicken-pig-baby, what is it? Why does it only attacks women.

Has your family disowned you yet for being a faggot?

Do you have to invited in to someone's house every time or does one invite work forever? Do businesses count? Are you allowed in if they have an open sign?

>How the fuck you guys did not take over the world in this whole time?
for what purpose? one of us tried it once, he got his ass beaten by our own kind. not op btw.

Kek

(OP) the procces of creating new vampires isnt that simple, some of us have alot of weaknesses and 300-100 years ago there were a shit-ton of really good human vampire hunters...
but the main reason is that there isnt enough of us, new vampire usually (there are exceptions) born when a vampire sucks blood of a human who didnt have sex in his life yet, meaning, u dont create army of vampires by just walking around biting people

they're dead

Well... That fucking sucks! But still - Would love to have a fist fight with any of your kind

yea i know what u mean, but thats just a myth and seriously i have no fucking idea where that came from... same as if u throw a bag of rice that we have to count it
just bullshit

Das me bae

How should I go about rewiring my nadis in order to break out of the demiurge's rhythms and restore my endocrine glands?

How do time and causality interact with magick, the human body, and willpower?

OP
well... even the lowest of the low of my kind are strong enough to fracture bones with their punches, fists fight i seriously would not recommend
only way would be possible if the vampire would be wounded, and u would fight him during the day (not in the daylight, just during the day)

What about ginger?

Wouldnt care about my bones tbh. I really dream of a great fight with someone who could test me to the limits... Also these days people dont fight one vs one... Happened once in my life. 1v2, or more - far more often

OP
the lower classes, like E or F might not like it, but during my near 600 years lifespan ive never heard about a vampire being repelented by a ginger in same way as garlic does

Did you kill them OP?

Prove that you are vampire. A real pic would be nice.

OP
i hope i understood u right, since english isnt my first language
if you are asking about procreation, vampires cant do that, since female vampires do not produce eggs, but male vampire do produce sperm
as for the willpower, most of vampires do retain their willpower but feel great respect and obidiance towards vampire who created them, but they are not bound by any means, there has been occurs when created vampire killed its creator...
willpower is very important for us and is usually the main thing to destroy us also (willpower of a man, that being)

Get to work Chris.

heeey

Are you a faggot? cause you sound like one. Kys

What happened to Susan Walsh?

OP
but u are still missing a determination to kill a vampire, and that one is extremly important, with this determination and willpower most of lower and even middle class vampires (F too C i'd say) are actually killed

OP
naaaah, i may be monster but i sure am not a murderer... my wife killed herself with our unborn child, father was killed by a political rivals and dunno what happened to my mother honestly, dad never spoke about her

I got more of a request tho. Vamp me up? I've been waiting for you all of my life.

same tbh

Same bruh, id love to be a vampire

like i already said here, i am a bisexual... if that counts by any means
a lot of vampires are bisexuals cos we grow tired of heterosexual sex during our prolonged lifetime

There's a board for vampires like you! It's called /x/. Enjoy roleplaying!

Why are you so edgy and obviously a lonely faggot

OP
how the fuck am i supposed to know, i dont live in USA, but thanks for your question and trust in my knowledge... i guess

ka ka

That's a name you shouldn't forget given what she did.

...or at least almost.

OP
if you are still virgins, u can be turned into vampires, thats the standart way, vampire drinking blood of a mortal who didnt have sex yet... other common way is for u to drink large amout of vampire blood, but with all due respect, im not giving u mine, and good luck finding a vampire who would be willing to do such a thing

Aye guys. It seems like such a damn beautiful existence. I'm not a virgin tho OP, if you're even willing, how would it go? Even information is helpful.

tfw still a virgin make me a vampire please

OP
thank u user, i guess ill be heading there once this thread dies, but untill then, ill stuck here

100% virgin friend come suck my blood out

What qualifies as "sex?" Does oral count? Is it only PIV sex, or also anal? What about pegging, does that count for the one getting pegged? What about penetration with toys in general?
What specific activities make it impossible to be turned? Also why?

OP
u mean the turning of a virgin one?

are you religious?

No no, sadly (?) I'm not a virgin, I'd like to know how to still become a vampire tho. I'm:

Are you a real vampire?

OP
yeah i get where u're going with this, it appears wildly wague
anyway, as all i know, only classic penetration sex between two willing human beings counts as "the sex" ... so if u've been raped, u should be still able to be turned, it has to do something with inner innocence or some bullshit like that, a priest would be more fitting to answer this question
as for the "why does it make it impossible" part, im sure i dont know... id bet it has something to do with the innocense also, but i will have too look into that

why did johnny sack stay with that fat fuck of a wife until the end?

OP
i was... have u seen film Constantine with Keanu Reeves? there is passage that sums it up perfectly "u dont beliwe, u know" and God doesnt want u too know, he wants u too beliwe

What about those cranium-less monsters? What's up with those guys?

Why am i even still in this thread?jesus op you really did make me cringe hard,thanks.

you're just ripping shit from hellsing now
i mean hellsing is awesome but come on

OP
well!
the second usual way of turning one into a vampire is for u too drink large amout of vampire blood, like several glasses, id say between one and two liters, just a sip of a vampire blood really isnt enough
and then... theres the (as fucking stupid as it sounds) the "supernatural" way... when one spilled enough of blood during his lifetime, and when he is on a brink of death by a sword (or gun, anything but age) there is a chance that... *sigh* ... Devil will take interest in him, as we vampires are basicly spawns of Devil (but not demons) there is a chance that he would turn u... if u would be interesting enough for him
only the strongest vampires are created in such a manner and it is nearly impossible for a human too plan or count on such a thing...
srsly if u arent a virgin, the best way for u is to drink a vampire blood

Which way did you get turned?

do y'all do hella drugs?
if i had crazy regen powers i'd be doing every drug i could find

OP
yes... but then also, on the internet, nobody knows you're a dog either
u are not obliged to trust me, untill i sedusively bite u

Why am I not 100% human? I'm only 60% human. 40% Extraterrestrial.

OP
Love.

>sedusively

hot

you know Ozgin fam?

OP
u mean in Constantine? in the film?

sage

OP
The best is yet to come...

yes. i think there's a lot of interesting symbolism and messages in that film

LISTEN HERE NIGGERS.
When donald trump gets elected as presidemt, all of you niggers are going back to africa.

And Hellsing ripped off Bram Stocker... come on u :D

> be op
>buy fangs at hot topic like the edgy piece of shit he is.
>gee I'm a vampire now.
You're so gay op you make assholes bleed. Go rp on Facebook count fagula.

OP
thats rather personal
but it was the last way, around 550 years ago i was about too be executed by decapitation by my enemies, when i got the chance to drink my own blood, sip my own lifeforce and create the circle of undying

Halloween is over. Why not start to pretend you're an elf holy shit.

Thanks for the help so far, it's a lot. Alright, so I need to drink a lot of blood. I'm quite alright with this, but how would I go about approaching a willing vampire? I'd rather not do this against anyone's will, if it can be helped. I can't be the only one tho, right? There have to be precedents for this. Best places to go, willing vampire circles... something?

I'm still the same poster who originally asked, by the way.

OP
not hella but yes i do
molly, coke, occasionally cannabis, and acid like once a year
gotta be really careful with the last one tho... could u even imagine class A vampire on a bad trip?

My partner was buttfucking me then my ass started bleeding, a vampire came down and start licking my bloody butthole and then bit my ass.

OP
i dunno... parents had an alien gangbang?
sounds plausible

is there a way to become a vampire without interaction with other vampires or satan? i don't really wanna sell my soul because i like my soul

you sound like someone who wants to gain something w/o giving anything up famalam

yes, bitting females usually ends up in sex... but im biseaxual, so whatever goes if you are cute and obidient

Just do what these faggots do in this thread, become so gay you die and suck dicks for eternity.

OP
no, should i?

i just want cool powers fam, none of this "my soul belongs to satan" stuff

nah there's no reason you should, i was just wondering

OP
i dunno tho... they were some sorts of demons, that is way off my juristiction

what do you even do all the damn time?

if vamp then lets see em fucker

What the fuck is a class A vampire and how are some ways that you can die?

Hey op, in case you missed me. Sorry, but it'd be an understatement to say I'm really interested in this.

...

White people....are fucking....nasty
*Shudders*

did i hear someone say vampire?

whats so nasty? the fact that i have teeth that cut thru cans or the shit tear face hare that i agree is shit but it dont grow
and be fore under age i was born in 92