When did you start building your wall to keep everyone out Sup Forums?

When did you start building your wall to keep everyone out Sup Forums?
>be me
>be 12
>mom dies of cancer and dad is a drunk so grandma takes me and my brother in
>fast forward to high school
>realize I have no social skills
>seclude myself away for 4 years
>get to college
>wind up with a hateful and spiteful GF, but stay with her because it's better than no contact
>older bro is a drunk now and I haven't seen him in a few years
>finally realize people will always let you down
>cut ties with everyone I know, even grandma
>never leave the safety of my apartment
>only contact is with anons and shitty co-workers

How tall is your wall user?

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youtu.be/CS_FCbQ-okM
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

I forgot where my wall ends and begins. Nothing gets in and nothing gets out. I go with the motion everyday at school and at work. Don't need anyone or anything. My only constant interaction is with my roommates and even then I keep it to a minimum

Right around July 2015

>be me
>be 69 years old
>decide business is not enough
>decide to run for President
>realize I have no chance
>goddamnmexicans.flv
>begin to theoretically build a wall

Do you think you'll ever tear it down?

Bump

remember user, together we stand, divided we fall.

No I won't. I learned like you the hard way how people will always let you down. I don't need any disappointments. Like they say, I don't need no arms around me

wow this is exactly me but with the difference that i have a wonderful relationship with my family, well, my mom, brother and nephew to be exact. Outside them, i dont care about anyone, dont want to have friends, girlfriends, or any of that, way too disappointed of people at this point.

>middle school
>lots of things came together to make me attempt suicide
>looking back I was a pussy
>but also fucked up parents
>mom is emotionally manipulative
>dad is almost never home and only yells at us when he is
>realize that emotions suck
>block them off
>insert meme about only faking emotions
>haven't felt anything sincere since

Lucky you. I cut my ties with my family and everyone I knew. They try to contact me but I ignore them. It's better this way. I don't let them down and they don't let me down

Have any anons thought about putting yourself on trial and tearing down your wall? I've mulled it over numerous times, but what then? What happens after you break free?

Shameless self bump.

sad bump

if you listen the whole wall album you can hear that after outside the wall sounds the beginning of in the flesh, so if you tear down your wall, soon or after it will start all over again

But does it have to start again? What if I realized I made it too high and I want out?.... am I trapped forever anons?

that's what happens halfway the album, 'hey you' and 'is there anybody out there'.

So how do you cope with having a wall user? Is it better than letting people get close to you?

i dont know fam, i think the album is right, once you have built a wall, is hard af to tear it down and once its over, chances are it will start again. its hard to be a fuckin aspie in these times.

I just wish I could feel something again, I've had my wall for so long I don't even know how to talk to normies anymore. Not that there's anyone I could tall to anyway..

severely underrated

>be me 15 years old
>all 4 of my grandparents are dying
>dad cheating on mom
>got into online stuff with people i would never meet
>mom buys me new pc worth like 1,5k$
>sees that i'm not happy
>everywhere i went i never laughed or made any emotion with others
>no gf cause can't really get to know people
>never been happy or expressed emotion ever since

>keeping track

Just built it little by little.

Nothing to be proud of

Do you fake your emotions user? Or are you just a blank slate?

sometimes i smile because i'm trying to fit in and others would pretty much think im not normal if i never smile whatsoever, i don't talk either maybe 20-50 words a day

What about your wall user? Is anyone allowed passage beyond your wall?

mostly i consider no one is worthy of it, once "gf" tried but ended up leaving me because i was too cold

2017

...

You little shit you've done it now, I hope they throw away the key.

Not that big thankfully, but it's getting there. One of my two friends went from two part time jobs to 50 hours a week of wage slavery for a total pittance.

youtu.be/CS_FCbQ-okM

>mfw my gf treated me like shit
>mfw when she didn't even know it
>mfw she has no idea she's a brick in my wall
>mfw

Think you'll ever fully construct it?

Started when Father abused mom when I was 2-3, was a weird kid but functional.
Became a problem at 8 when mother started with heroin and I had to move full time with dad together my bro who has mental disability(forever 6 months old in his brain). Alot of shit happened, i started masturbating at age nine, got beat up alot, starved a little(brother was near death from starvation) and it all happened in some random families home of 5 boys and a single mom. Also some other siblings where in and out, the girls next door used to sit ontop of me and kiss me which still is problem too this day. I dont know OP, I have lived the strangest life of anyone I have met, not the most tragic but the strangest. I dont have a wall, I live in a bubble.

I don't think walls ever truly come full circle to connect. They keep growing, blocking out more and more at a constant rate. You can never complete your wall, it just grows longer and higher.

...

Hold onto it user. The world is a cruel and unforgiving place and will do nothing but make sure you are at rock bottom and at your lowest low. Your wall, or bubble, is all that separates you, and the outside world that wants to harm and corrupt you. Hold onto it user.

And if there are good things outside the wall trying to get in?

Im smart as fuck. I'm stupendesly gifted but I gave up on life. I just want someone to tell me what to care about cause I lost everything that mattered time and time again. The moment I find some goal im bursting this bubble. Life sucks, and Im a loser. I can have it worse than this, but its already so bad im suicidal so what do I have to lose.

Maybe I'm cynical, but I view most "good things" as distractions or weaknesses. That cute girl that wants to talk to you? Fuck her she just wants your money or control over you. That guy that wants to be your "bro?" Fuck him he just wants to feel not as lonely as he does. The wall is a necessary evil, you could always tear it down, but what then?

Take that sadness, and forge it into anger. Fuck those people that are just bricks in your wall, fuck those people that didn't help you when you needed it most. Your wall is just as strong as you are user, take those unwanted emotions and feelings and build a wall worthy of keeping you safe

But...
Im not 15

had a wall up until I was 28, then I just snapped and broke down nonstop crying for like 2 weeks. Had to go to hospital and be mentally evaluated. It was hard to break down my walls and let them in, but once you hit a low point, you have nothing more to lose by doing it, and it becomes a matter of why the fuck not. Breaking your wall down, sooner, rather than later, gives you an opportunity to have people there for you, and to experience things. Just you decide how much.

Did you put yourself on trial user?

>be born
>disappoint parents and doctor cos am male and not female
>disappoint extended family by not being Mormon
>disappoint classmates for same reason
>figure my existence is shit
>whole town of 7000 can't be wrong

My wall would make Trump cry with joy

>be me
> basically as far back as i can remember
> live in literal shit house
>mom has no job and lets childhood home fall to ruin
>tree branches growing inside the house
> no water or power
> trys to breed her shitrat of a dog and the puppies never sale
> either die or end up pissing and shitting on the floor everywhere all day
> have to mop just to get to my room
> smell awful at school everyday
> no friends
> dad finally saves me from that place
> little late cant trust anyone
> literally has to teach me how to act normal after my shitty childhood.
> mfw trying to condense years of awful childhood experiences

my wall would be at hip height and everyday i can feel it going up one layer a day. i plan to just let it happen. i cant really talk to others.have that class clown act where i just wanna keep others happy and avoid anything that is my problem all together.

i did, it was fucking horrible. I broke myself down on the base most level as much as i possibly could. I looked at everything about me and hated as much of myself as deserved to be hated. It was hard, probably the hardest thing I have ever done in my life to be that honest with myself. But from it, I learned how to actually feel emotions besides anger, and how to actually have better friendships, and what I actually wanted from things. It made me a better person.

Crime & Punishment struck a huge chord with me when I felt exactly like that. Always remember, the Karamazov nature cuts both ways

>be me
>be 11
>sister gets raped
>dad gets on pills and becomes an alcoholic
>parents send me to my gma's house
>mom picks me up a few hours later
>shes crying
>gma crying
>mom says dad is in rehab for pain pills
>angry, sad, confused
>at the same time, i get put into alternative school
>a month goes by without seeing him
>as soon as he gets out, mom divorces him
>they make a non legal agreement to not fight over children
>mom does a bitchy move and somehow gets me and my sisters legally
>pissed asf
>hate her soul for nearly four years, unable to be around her without wanting to throat punch her
>i finally grow old enough to pick who i want to live with
>instantly go to dad
>cut myself off from my mom
>delete facebook, email and just about anything she could message me through
>few months ago, i finally decide to talk to her
>find out she has throat cancer
>irony?
>she then guilt trips me everychance she gets
"oh well now that I might die from this"
>literally the easiest cancer to get rid of
"ive decided not to be so down anymore about anything, so i dont see why youre always so angry and sad"
>flash backs to a few years ago to now
>stop talking to mom because she guilt trips me daily
>find old friend at school
>meet girls through him
>decide to ask one out
>he lies to her saying I called her a slut and a whore
>she wont text me back or talk me at school
>find another girl
>tell friend about liking her
>he tells her and I get really akward around her
>grow distant fron her
>cut myself away from everyone else
>get depressed
>think about suicide
>realize im too much of a pussy to do it
>dont want dad to get back into drugs and alcohol
>dont want family to pay $20,000 dollars for a funeral
>just ignore everything
>grades drop worse than ever
>i had all honors and college prep
>start failing them
>get into more trouble than ever
>present day, its still the same

Tell her

There's no point, she's long gone user

>be me
>11
>move from primary school into secondary school
>was out of my catchment area so none of my friends went there
>make no real new friends
>get savagely bullied for first 3 years
>not one to complain, British stiff upper lip and all that shit
>mum no one at home really knows i get bullied
>15 now
>hit puberty that summer (late bloomer)
/run_hormones.exe
>voice drops and grow a lot over just 4 months
>come back
>snap and beat the shit out of kid who used to bully me and wanted to start up again
>go to high school first gf
>really fall in love, i'm talking head over heels
>she breaks up after 2 months like its nothing
>Week after she making out with ginger cunt
>crushed
>not felt the way i did then ever since
>Go to uni
>never call parents/family
>drift apart from everyone
>playing sport holds my life together
>leave uni
>no more sport to play
>no contact with anyone
>no job worthy of my degree
>crippling debt

Is it safe to say you have a wall user?

I started building around 6 or 7. My dad died when I was 5 and my mother was a drug addict and only took care of my little brother because he had seizures and is autistic. She was also a drug addict and abusive,and was a full blown conspiracy theorist,Chemtrails and the like. I guess I just realized that I was the only one who cared about myself. I never had a chance to develop emotions properly.