What has /b gotten away with?

What has /b gotten away with?

>Be me
>Be in college, regular stonerfag
>Dating physical therapy student, pic related
>Decide to clean out my chillum one night, it's been hitting pretty weak
>Read online to boil it, sounds easy
>Forget GF is coming over
>"
>"Whatcha cooking user"
>Gotta think fast, bitch ain't 420 friendly
>"Spaghetti"
>Hot damn I'm clever
>"Great, I'm starving"
> shit
>Hoe is helicoptering the shit out of me, can't dump the water and start over without arousing suspicion
>Throw some spaghetti into the resin water
>Smells kinda weird, but she doesn't notice
>Make this bitch weed spaghetti
>"This tastes like shit, user"
>Blame it on the sauce
>Talented Mr. Ripley up in here
>Not enough THC to get either of us high
>She goes in for interview the next day, gets drug tested
> +
>She has no idea why, cries all night
>I don't say shit, just sit there eating leftover resin spaghetti and trying to play it cool
>Never told her
>The perfect crime, keyser soze motherfucker

Got any nudes of her?

Have dumped them before in a few threads, will dump whole batch for top keks

That's really fucked, and if t were me I'd beat your ass to near death as quickly as possible.

...

haha nice great story!

ninja 10/10

Fucking kek

Newfag here on a phone. Don't know how to green text, is the story even worth telling without it? Or ridiculed to death for newfagness?

do it

>muh pic related Sup Forums filename

Tell your story.
Then we'll ridicule you to death for newfagness.

I got my cousin to suck me off in the bathroom of a funeral home during my grandmothers wake.

What's his name?

But you wouldn't know you dipshit cuck

Got away with a ton of shit.. Hmm the best?
>Be in college
>NSE professor says anyone that hacks his computer gets an "A"
>Write dumbass simple windows trojan with vbscript
>Sneak in after hours because buddy is admin staff
>Put on his computer, keylogger active etc.
>Find 20 gigs of pr0n
>Think if A is worth it, or to just get him bad (he was a dick to me)
>Going to get an A in this pleb skiddy class anyway
>Swap porn folder with "powerpoint lessons" folder on desktop
>Next day in class, professor turns lights down and starts giving lesson plan
>Opens folder
>Freezes, like literally locks up for 20 seconds
>Everyone can read how big the files are etc
>Someone yells "Jesus 20 GIGS?"
>Professor says "well streaming is too low quality for my eyes"
>Everyone laughs
>Plays it off like a boss
>Actually a pretty cool dude, got him on linkedin

Fair enough.

>Work for Best Buy customer service.
>Get promoted after a yearish to "research specialist".. takes care of orders they've really fucked up
>start noticing how many people aren't regular Best Buy customers, just shop with us once for good deals on appliances/we offer the colors she wants on new washer/dryer.
>none of these fuckers sign up for Reward Zone benefits.. oh shi..
>Keep a handful of orders and monitor for 2-3 months.. items never claimed
>Say fuck it
>Create Reward Zone account under a friend of friends name, track enough purchases on it to raise a big flag if anyone is looking.. goes unnoticed for months..
>finally talk to the dude, offer him new laptop and some other shit to go pick it up..
>he accepts
>place a large order for about 1/2 of the cash on the account
>mission success a day later
>decide to cut him out, tell him it was a one time thing
>create several different accounts with assumed names, 6 different best buys within 1-2 hour drive
>idiots don't check ID, just make sure you have pick up paperwork
>proceed to steal approximately $22k with of electronics over 4 years
>leave job when they finally launch an investigation
>been 3 years and no word of anything, think I'm free and clear

Oh hey.. the little arrows make it green text.. sweet

Did you get an a though?

Pretty sure they can't do anything now, they need some good evidence.. Shit the lawsuit would cost more than 22k lol.

Good job user

...

it takes 5 years to file litigation for over 20k damages..

"got him on linkedin"

Fucking gold

At first he gave me a fucking 89.5% I went in and talked to him and he bumped it to 90% so yea I got an A. I slacked off a lot in school, I already taught my self 95% of the degree in my teens... Just needed that piece of paper.. Started a startup 2 years ago, it's round A now. Turns out I didn't even need a degree and that ridiculous debt.

We'll I've never been contacted, and I didn't mention any locations or names, hopefully I go unnoticed for a while longer lol

Kill yourself

FUCK YOU THATS AN A- FUCKING FUCK OFF WITH YOUR SHIT 3.7 GPA FUCKERY GO TO A REAL SCHOOL

Move to canada or somewhere in europe thats still nice

Yea right? BECOME DOCTOR!! GO TO HARVARD!!! YAAAAAALE

Fuck that noise, I'm 7 figs (on paper) off a bachelors I didn't even need. Suck that doctor ivy league.

Today I overslept for my integrated design midterm and told my professor it was my diabetes

Nah, I think I'll roll the dice. I never used any order I personally managed. Always went into the database and grabbed randoms above a certain dollar amount, even ones handled by other centers. Research Supervisors have full access so there was no need to implicate myself in any way

...

She looks like a bitch