>Be me >Be in college, regular stonerfag >Dating physical therapy student, pic related >Decide to clean out my chillum one night, it's been hitting pretty weak >Read online to boil it, sounds easy >Forget GF is coming over >" >"Whatcha cooking user" >Gotta think fast, bitch ain't 420 friendly >"Spaghetti" >Hot damn I'm clever >"Great, I'm starving" > shit >Hoe is helicoptering the shit out of me, can't dump the water and start over without arousing suspicion >Throw some spaghetti into the resin water >Smells kinda weird, but she doesn't notice >Make this bitch weed spaghetti >"This tastes like shit, user" >Blame it on the sauce >Talented Mr. Ripley up in here >Not enough THC to get either of us high >She goes in for interview the next day, gets drug tested > + >She has no idea why, cries all night >I don't say shit, just sit there eating leftover resin spaghetti and trying to play it cool >Never told her >The perfect crime, keyser soze motherfucker
Bentley Sullivan
Got any nudes of her?
Benjamin Cruz
Have dumped them before in a few threads, will dump whole batch for top keks
Luis Brooks
That's really fucked, and if t were me I'd beat your ass to near death as quickly as possible.
Brandon Scott
...
Brayden Lee
haha nice great story!
ninja 10/10
Henry Robinson
Fucking kek
Easton Hall
Newfag here on a phone. Don't know how to green text, is the story even worth telling without it? Or ridiculed to death for newfagness?
Juan Davis
do it
Cooper Miller
>muh pic related Sup Forums filename
Jason Harris
Tell your story. Then we'll ridicule you to death for newfagness.
John Sanders
I got my cousin to suck me off in the bathroom of a funeral home during my grandmothers wake.
Blake Murphy
What's his name?
Easton Reed
But you wouldn't know you dipshit cuck
Got away with a ton of shit.. Hmm the best? >Be in college >NSE professor says anyone that hacks his computer gets an "A" >Write dumbass simple windows trojan with vbscript >Sneak in after hours because buddy is admin staff >Put on his computer, keylogger active etc. >Find 20 gigs of pr0n >Think if A is worth it, or to just get him bad (he was a dick to me) >Going to get an A in this pleb skiddy class anyway >Swap porn folder with "powerpoint lessons" folder on desktop >Next day in class, professor turns lights down and starts giving lesson plan >Opens folder >Freezes, like literally locks up for 20 seconds >Everyone can read how big the files are etc >Someone yells "Jesus 20 GIGS?" >Professor says "well streaming is too low quality for my eyes" >Everyone laughs >Plays it off like a boss >Actually a pretty cool dude, got him on linkedin
Joseph Phillips
Fair enough.
>Work for Best Buy customer service. >Get promoted after a yearish to "research specialist".. takes care of orders they've really fucked up >start noticing how many people aren't regular Best Buy customers, just shop with us once for good deals on appliances/we offer the colors she wants on new washer/dryer. >none of these fuckers sign up for Reward Zone benefits.. oh shi.. >Keep a handful of orders and monitor for 2-3 months.. items never claimed >Say fuck it >Create Reward Zone account under a friend of friends name, track enough purchases on it to raise a big flag if anyone is looking.. goes unnoticed for months.. >finally talk to the dude, offer him new laptop and some other shit to go pick it up.. >he accepts >place a large order for about 1/2 of the cash on the account >mission success a day later >decide to cut him out, tell him it was a one time thing >create several different accounts with assumed names, 6 different best buys within 1-2 hour drive >idiots don't check ID, just make sure you have pick up paperwork >proceed to steal approximately $22k with of electronics over 4 years >leave job when they finally launch an investigation >been 3 years and no word of anything, think I'm free and clear
Camden Howard
Oh hey.. the little arrows make it green text.. sweet
Anthony Roberts
Did you get an a though?
Isaiah Watson
Pretty sure they can't do anything now, they need some good evidence.. Shit the lawsuit would cost more than 22k lol.
Good job user
Kevin James
...
Lincoln Hernandez
it takes 5 years to file litigation for over 20k damages..
Levi Turner
"got him on linkedin"
Fucking gold
Wyatt Perez
At first he gave me a fucking 89.5% I went in and talked to him and he bumped it to 90% so yea I got an A. I slacked off a lot in school, I already taught my self 95% of the degree in my teens... Just needed that piece of paper.. Started a startup 2 years ago, it's round A now. Turns out I didn't even need a degree and that ridiculous debt.
Nathaniel Parker
We'll I've never been contacted, and I didn't mention any locations or names, hopefully I go unnoticed for a while longer lol
Ayden Taylor
Kill yourself
Elijah Baker
FUCK YOU THATS AN A- FUCKING FUCK OFF WITH YOUR SHIT 3.7 GPA FUCKERY GO TO A REAL SCHOOL
Tyler Foster
Move to canada or somewhere in europe thats still nice
Camden Torres
Yea right? BECOME DOCTOR!! GO TO HARVARD!!! YAAAAAALE
Fuck that noise, I'm 7 figs (on paper) off a bachelors I didn't even need. Suck that doctor ivy league.
Carter Long
Today I overslept for my integrated design midterm and told my professor it was my diabetes
Jaxson Hernandez
Nah, I think I'll roll the dice. I never used any order I personally managed. Always went into the database and grabbed randoms above a certain dollar amount, even ones handled by other centers. Research Supervisors have full access so there was no need to implicate myself in any way