I need some advice on my mental illness, Sup Forums

I need some advice on my mental illness, Sup Forums.

First off, I know it sounds like bullshit.

So, I've sort of got two personalities. But I don't think I have a split personality. I mean, it's like two personalities and one body. I just kind of have two personalities that I sometimes switch between for some reason. It's a little hard to remember stuff from the other personality, but it's not like I have zero memory of it or anything. One personality, my "normal" personality, is outgoing, kind but stern and sociable. My second personality is cynical, quick to anger, pretty edgy, and kind of racist. Sort of like I injected myself with liquid Linkin Park.

It's not manic-depressive bipolar whatever, I know that. My other personality has completely different ideals and views on everything. Sometimes while I'm thinking I can feel what my other personality is thinking. I'm not hallucinating voices, I can just sort of tell what my other personality is thinking in my head.


I used to switch to my second personality more often but now I mostly stay in the first personality. I have no idea what triggers it. I can't go to a therapist due to the small stupid redneck town I live in. The only therapist is 1 hour away and I'm not driving that far and wasting my money on someone trying to tell me how I secretly want to fuck my mother.

I try to ignore my other personalty but he wears on me like a fungus.

...

sauce on op image

doing any drugs or alcohol?

Nay on the drugs but I have a few beers occasionally.

do you prefer one personality over the other?

I guess I prefer normal me. Like I said, my other personality is really not a very nice person. Inversely, I try to be a good person. I even hate to kill bugs. I'm almost always in control, and mostly I just know what my other personality is thinking. Like, two people thinking in the same brain if that makes sense.

Here's what you should do, figure out which personality thought it would be a good idea to ask Sup Forums for advice, and then kill that one. It's your dumber half and without it maybe you won't do stupid shit like this again.

You sound borderline. DID doesn't manifest in the way you describe.

Do you ever feel empty inside?
Do you have bouts with anger?
Do you ever experience paranoia?
Do you experience a loss of reality?

Yes to the first three regularly.

I've felt the loss of reality only a few times over the past few years.

Have you asked a doctor or an expert about it yet? I'm genuinely interested

Nah. I've been to the nearest therapist/psychiatrist's office before for anxiety and I have zero confidence in them. Also I really don't like the woman there. And it's a waste of money IMO. Also I'm a coward.

I don't want to take a bunch of medication, since I manage to function normally. I just wanna understand myself better.

Without sitting you down and having a much more constructive discussion, my guess is you have Borderline Personality Disorder. Those questions I asked are a pretty strong indicator of that.

I would look into finding a therapist that specializes in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. Medication may help some of your symptoms, also.

Did something traumatic happen to you in the past maybe? And how long have you had this personality disorder?

I think you can get some psychological counseling done remotely nowadays and maybe even over the Internet, but for god's sake I hope that's not your intention here.

Killing the other you may not be a good idea at all. He very well might be a necessary thing in more ways than one

>my other personality is really not a very nice person. Inversely, I try to be a good person

i think that's the problem right there. if you repress your negative traits and force yourself to be always nice it's bound to come out somehow. be a dick if you feel like it

As an aside, this is the kind of talk I would absolutely expect from BPD.

-

For the now, focus on self-care. This will help. Find healthy routines, including: a regular, healthy sleep schedule; regular exercise; making good nutritional choices. If you are abusing a substance, scale back. Start trying to manage stress and strong feelings, instead of letting them control you, etc.

don't medicate. you'll be losing one of your voices if you do.

This

Having different behaviors in different environments is completely normal. Relax man, giving validity to any supposed mental illness will only make it worse.

I would get counseling whatever my feelings about it, as your case seems to be of a small enough severity that they might help without incapacitating you at this stage.

OTOH have you thought of just living with it?

My intention is just to get outside input. And sort of anonymously vent I guess?

Well, I'll try and manage my feelings better. I generally don't get angry or upset though. Which is probably just repressing my feelings.

Yeah, I had a rough time from 2nd grade through 12th cause the South is not a good place for outsiders and neither is Catholic school.

Maybe that rough time caused the second 'personality' to appear

>I'll try and manage my feelings better
don't manage them. just let them flow and i id bet good money you'll notice a change

I'm pretty certain that's right. During high school (2007-ish), I had no friends and did nothing but browse Sup Forums which probably has something to do with the racism.

I think that's the cause then. Like the other user said let your feelings flow

this

Alrighty. I appreciate the replies and input. You guys have given me a few things to think about.

Yeah, 4 questions and done.

Nice man.

sounds all too familiar
see a psych and ask about border line personality disorder
chances are you are on the spectrum