Sup Forums how to hook up with older women? Any stories?

Sup Forums how to hook up with older women? Any stories?

I've had the best luck on Craigslist. I've banged more than a couple off there.

Make her feel bad for you. Chicks dig sympathy.

Tinder. I fucked a teacher. She liked younger guys. I wore her ass out and sent her to class.

care to elaborate. like where you live and what your ad said?

Its easier imo to hook up with a older woman.

I used POF and banged within 5 mins of walking in her house.

This Tinder is full of sluts

I was 25 last summer, she was 34. Not much older but was way easier than girls my age. I suggest messaging them and if your average or above you can fuck pretty easy.

WTF older women are easy. They're hornier (better Testosterone to Estrogen ratio) and they know--at least subconsciously--that they no longer hold all the dating leverage.

fucked her at x mas party

>Halloween party at ex gfs house a few years back (I was 18)
>Everyone is hammered
>Her mother is one of thoughs "cool" types
>Everyone goes to bed or home
>Sat on couch with mother (Let's call her Carol)
>Carol is pouring me huge JD and cokes
>Things wind down and she kisses me
>"I shouldn't have done that annon"
>By this time my dicks out
>She grabs and just squeezes, not jacking but squeezes
>Pull panties down (she was some slutty zombie thing)
>Fuck for about 5 mins while sucking on gross cracked nips
>PussyBush.Jpg
>Too hammered and I fall asleep.
Wake up in the morning to her daughter and my ex joking "did you fuck my mom last night?" As I said I would the night before... Awkward silence because Carol is there.
Anyway she messages me sometimes asking if I need work or want to do work for her and she'll "pay me with something other than money" She's gross and I regret it but it's a fun story to tell... used to have pictures of us in bed together but sadly lost them when my phone broke :(
Also sorry for my shitty green text.

any interest?

That and they know what they want, also it makes them feel younger when they get with a younger person. A lot of women like to feel young.

Any questions fire away

>posted ads on craigslist for 4 weeks straight
>specifically said older women only
>only 5 replies
>4 of them flaked
>1 was 68 years old
>0 matches on tinder
>0 matches on okcupid

You should get head from her

put an ad for casual encounters and m4w. nothing lewd just a straight forward ad stating my age and that I'm looking for a mature woman.

Welcome to the real world

Back when she first messaged me I tried to flirt with her and said "Oh yeah how would you pay me? ;)" and she said how would I like and I suggested head and she told me she's a good girl and wouldn't do that.... idk if that was her flirting or not but still.... the boat hasn't sailed with her though... her daughter found out and moved out but she's back living there now so it'd be super awkward going there

two words
>nursing
>home

Good points. It flatters them to feel like they've scored. And women who know a thing or two in the sack are waaay more fun than some princess who does the starfish and then acts like she's done you some huge favor.

My girlfriend is sadly the latter... then expects me to lick the puss if she hasn't came... I hate 90% of the time man

MORE PICS?

moar

Amen brother

Tell me she's at least smoking hot. And post pics for proof...

I've put up with that kind of shit for a solid 8/10 girl. Anything less than that and you might want to start rethinking things. IMO

>Step 1: find desired older woman
>Steop 2: punch older woman in the back of the head while she's not looking
>Step 3: Run away

There's actually women on craigslist? Do you live next to a really big city or something
Everything on my local CL is fake besides old gay dudes

whats wrong with 68? I bet she is a fucking semen demon.

Worst advice on this thread

>1 was 68 years old

So what happened with that? Shoulda done it, pussy. Get in the will while you can

You be the judge my man... not got any nudes on this phone sadly got it today :(

>>Step 1: find desired older woman
>>Step 2: punch older woman in the back of the head while she's not looking
>>Step 3: Run away

Gay bars. MILFS frequent them.

I've fucked two of my mom's friends before and one other older woman who I briefly dated

>be me
>glorified lunch lady/register operator at hospital cafeteria
>flirtin with nurses all day, practicing my game
>spot mature blonde nurse 6/10
>shes not perfect, dont care. literally every other nurse her age is like a 1 or 2/10
>first time ringing her up, say as little as possible but look her right in the eyes
>she has big goofy smile on her face
>give her her change and she literally walks away with all her shit still on my counter
>realization sets in, she embarrassingly comes back, grabs her shit, runs the fuck away
>months pass
>ringing her up a couple times a week, always getting in little chats
>shes married, kids, oldest is 15
>one day she forgets her money
>ask her why
>says she gave it all to get kids
>asks me if i have kids
>no
>asks me if i have wife
>no
>get more of her big dumb goofy grin

at this point i missed a golden opportunity to tell her some suave shit like "its hard finding a girlfriend... because i like older women blah blah blah"

>oh well
>more months pass
>be today
>she walks in, unusually late
>hustles over to me, puts hands around my waist
>"can i owe you, i didn't bring any money"
>sure why not i dont ring up half the people who come thru anyway
>"hey, how come you're late? didnt see you earlier"
>"yeah, today im late... :( "
>"stuck in traffic?"
>"no, today im just late"

unentertaining ending but im working on her
we're all gonna make it

So I went to a Starbucks one day while my fiancee' was tutoring next door. I was reading a scifi book about space bounty hunters or some shit. It sucked balls.

Anyway, one day I'm sitting when this 7.5/10 milf comes in with a somewhat nice looking little dress and sits down next to me. Naturally I'm steeping with rage from how shitty this book is, and is not paying too much attention. She then gets up, goes to the bathroom, and returns after a few minutes. Now she smells of nice perfume and I can see her doing random movements out of the corner of my eye to strike up a conversation. I'm still too lost in how impossibly Mary Sue this bounty hunter captain is, and my frustration with the book has reached critical levels. I'll be damned if I paid ten bucks for this shitty book.

Still she tries to make some movements and little noises to catch my attention, when suddenly my fiancee' enters and buys a coffee. She then comes up to me and says "Pardon me miseur, but would you happen to know what I did with my husband?" I immediately look up and say "Well my darling why don't you sit in Santa's lap and I'll tell you all about it."
So she laughs and sits in my laugh and proceeds to kiss me a lot. Why is that I wonder...she's usually not affectionate in public like this.

Later she told me the milf on the side of us was kinda pissed and throwing her dirty looks. That explains why she was being kissy, because she noticed the girl trying to hit me up and my being oblivious to it. We laughed, and she proceeded to give me good love making.

I imagine the milf found another skinny white boy to dominate back at her court settled mansion or whatever.

Seriously...are there any decent sci fi space operas out there that centers around deep space travel and huge city-size ships? I am desperate to get lost in the politics of some futuristic space colony or cozy space pirate ship or something like that.

Fistbump for delivery.

Yeah, realistically I'd put up with some shit in order to hit that for at least a little while. Still though, you ultimately deserve better. Have an exit strategy, I guess...

She looked somewhat like pic related, but she had spiked up frizzy hair

Also when I spoke with her in email she was talking in batshit insane poetic words so I took it as a sign and dropped it

Seriously? If you're a young /fit/ guy who seems to be doing things that are more exciting than they're used to, just do things like say "hi" to them while you're waiting in line and things like that (or if you're waiting for the bus or something in an urban area) and you'll find they really pick up on the attention. A lot of them are insecure about getting old so they appreciate when you make them feel like they still have got it.

christ i fucking hate this haricut. any older lady i see with this shit is an instant boner kill

You read the Culture novels?

this is the worst thing i have ever heard.

Don't be a fucking baby. Lick your girl's pussy for her. Should have done that before fucking, anyway.

Figured it out by accident.

What did she look like?

I hooked up with a married, 35 year old woman I met on kik. She sucked my cock like it's never been sucked before.

I've fucked about 12-15 milfs since I downloaded Tinder last August, shit's cash yo

Hooked up with a married milf at a wedding. She was flying solo so we ended up at a table full of single people.

I listened to her and made her laugh. We danced together, and later when everybody went out to the beach for a bonfire she took me to her hotel room. Best sex I ever had.

same with mine ended up meeting up with a guy in his 30s who gave me the best head

been with three of them. first one just kinda happened i knew her for a few years. second and third one i worked with. they just want to be listened to.

Same, hooked up with a 57yr old who responded to my ad on Craigslist. Thick lady, great rack and tasted deliciously.

>be me
>working interstate
>staying at a 5* beach appartment resort
>go out to the pool to chill
>there's a flat out 10/10 mile sunbathing
>we're the only two by the pool
>she asks me to put sun screen on her
>cliche as fuck but sure babe I'll touch you
>I do the deed
>we start talking
>tell her I'm here on work blah blah blah
>says she's also from my city, but she's there because she just divorced her husband and taking a break
>she's flirty as fuck, and obviously tells me this because she wants the D
>asks me if I'd like to go to dinner later
>fuckyeah.jpg
>we go to some restaurant way above my pay grade
>talk all night, get along great, she laughs at everything I say etc
>asks me if I wanna go back to her appartment for drinks
>fuckyeah.jpg
>we go to her place
>she gets changed into something more comfortable
>we drink
>she gets drunk
>I try to make a move
>she starts rubbing my cock
>fuckyeah.jpg this is actually happening
>all of a sudden runs to the bathroom
and plasters the walls with her vomit
>apologises
>I'm still pretty determined to make this shit happen
>asks me to help her to her bed
>I carry her to her bed and lie her down
>just kind of sit with her for a bit
>she falls asleep
>I fall asleep
>wake up
>she thanks me for not taking advantage of her
>fuck me it's ruined
>makes me breakfast
>asks me if I'd like to join her in the shower
>fuckyeah.jpg
>I have 10/10 milf sex with a 10/10 milf in the apartment of a 5/5 hotel

hung out with friends they went to shower there 5/10 mexican mom comes sits with me ask if id like to see her art say sure. say shes good at painting shes naked i chop her head off o shit .jpg start fucking her neck hole cum

Hottest gap ever!

What about shit like hiv? Sketchy people on craigslist.

The chances of get hiv from vaginal sex is really low. Even if the woman has full on aids, you most likely arent going to get anything.

What? Dude if someone has aids its a chance...

you got more chance of getting hit by a bus than getting HIV from straight PIV sex if you're the male

Hot local moms in your area?

medfag here.

He's right. HIV is more commonly transmitted via anal. 1-2% of contracting with an HIVer. thats on the high end too.

I only got one reply from a real woman and she had a breast removed due to breast cancer. And she lived in a trailer park. Was fucked, I said noooo

Whats the best way to protect yourself other than condom? 2 condoms lol? Is it weird to ask your milf friend to get tested?

Nope two condoms causes more friction and has more of a chance to brake through both of them kek

This.

Dont wear 2 condoms. Get good quality condoms. And make sure she is tested.

Dating sites, don't go for super milf ones, find the ones who re slightly chubby or average looking who take photos in a bad attempt at slutty, speak to them with words like gorgeous and beautiful and say how they don't look a day over 25, pander to their low self esteem.
If they feel they have someone who finds them attractive and will stop them from dying alone they will latch on hard. Those are the kind of women who will let you cum in their throat and stretch out their ass as long as they think someone loves them

>source: it's how I find 40+ women only had 8 successes but nobody sucks dick harder than a mature woman who dislike that dick like she trying to get the last drop out of the fountain of youth

>T. low test male

Who sucks that dick like*

Words with friends. I'm not even joking.

Now, you must initiate conversation with them and not creep them out too much, but it's really not that difficult.

win

Assuming that you are the average user of the chan, you are approximately 12 years old.

Therefore, you merely have to wait 50 years and you will have your pick of 80 year old women.

Its the same as hooking up with anyother woman...do you know ho
W?

>user admits he's 12

Fucked a 50 year old co worker after a work party once. The story and sex were both so piss poor I can't even be bothered greentexting.

Long story short, lonely older women want to fuck after a drink. Go to where they drink. Be near them while they are drinking

Im 25yo eurofag. Slim, but slightly above average. Rather non talker. Id like to go for a 35-45 but cant actually find any. I also dont live on my, is it a disadvantage?

lol. this was a terrible story. thanks user

This was a sweet story user. Treat her nice, m'lad.

I fucked a married older woman who got posted on a kik sluts thread here. True story.

SHES MARRIED YOU SCUMBAG PIECE OF FUCK!!

Post kik, slut.

Yeah, yell at the user who wants to fuck a married woman and not at the multiple anons on this thread who have gone out and already done it.