My fiance started cutting herself with razors. Obviously trying to get attention, whatever

My fiance started cutting herself with razors. Obviously trying to get attention, whatever.

I want her to stop so I told her that every time she cuts herself I will cut myself in the same fashion.

I make her watch me do it, I use a large chef's knife(pic). Basically make a big show about it. It really fucks her up, last time I had her in a headlock because she wouldn't watch.

Is this a good way to get her to stop or am I just completely insane?

I'm kind of worried that people will see my cuts on my arm and think I do it to be an edgy faggot. I do it to prove a point to her not that "I want to see if I can still feel" bullsht.

You're a fucking retard. I see why she cuts herself. I'd slit my wrists if I were stuck with you too.

You know, you could solve all this by cutting along the arm, not across it. Do everyone a favor. Bonus points if you take the attention seeker with you.

It's all just superficial. No one wants to kill themselves.

Should I just commit her? That shit never works.

Or maybe just ignore the fact she cuts herself so she will stop because it doesn't keep being a source of attention?

Yea thats probably among the worst ways to deal with it.

i tried the same thing with my gf and smoking. All it did was get me addicted to smoking. So yeah, there's that I guess..

People don't really do it for attention per say, when you say its for attention, its not like waah I want someone to pay attention to me. Its like I have severe emotional or psychological stress and don't know how to get people to help me.

Leave her. You're clearly a toxic piece of shit. She'll be way better without you.

Also, kys.

Why? I'm supportive and shit. This night be a little weird, but whatever

Also,

>she deserves someone who will treat her better

Whatever you fucking white knight, give me a break.

>My fiance started cutting herself with razors. Obviously trying to get attention
then give her some fucking attention
its that damn simple

>then give her attention

I give her plenty of attention. Problem is she will always want more, nothing is ever enough.

I can deal with that, but not with her cutting herself.

I've managed to get a girl to stop self-harming by replicating whatever she does to herself on myself. it can work if she loves you but it's not recommended.

cutting is hot tho. just encourage her to do it in a safe way.

>I give her plenty of attention
wrong kind of attention buddy, communication about her issues kind of attention, not clinginess
if you decide shes worth your time youre going to have a long road ahead of you that may or may not pay off in the end but if it does it will be worth the heartache
if you decide shes not worth the time or the risk then be kind enough to alert someone else close to her about her problems and back away as nicely as possible

...

some of us like damaged high-maintenance girls

just sometimes the baggage that comes with them can be problematic

...

>some of us like damaged high-maintenance girls
and im one of you trust me, ive only ever fallen for damaged girls. fuck my longest relationship was with a suicidal rape victim from a physically abusive family with ptsd
im just telling op what his options are

Attention-seeking b******* teach her how to do it properly f*****

wow youre a horrible person

We are getting married, she's worth my time.

We do communicate, always.

You too, thanks

Cool. My worry is that it's too fucked up and dramatic for her and ultimately will do more harm than good.

What happened with you?

Well, actually I told my ex-girlfriend that I had started cutting myself. She cut herself in order to get me to stop yesterday. I was actually thinking of cutting myself when I saw this post.

>We are getting married, she's worth my time.
>We do communicate, always.
ive been where you are man, i guess its just one of those things i cant articulate to someone else how to solve,
good luck man i hope it works out

probably falling for b8 here, but if this is true you're the most idiotic person to ever grace this planet. you both should go see a therapist

mine wasn't cutting, more hitting her head against the wall/hitting herself/etc
if she did it, I'd immediately start doing it to myself and she'd get really upset and try to stop me. a few weeks of that and she stopped about 90%. still did it occasionally but much less.

it is kinda fucked up and dramatic, especially if you're forcing her to watch - but what you're doing is negative association. if she associates cutting herself with something she really hates (you being hurt hopefully) she's more likely to choose another outlet for those feelings.

Does her replicating your cuts dissuade you from cutting more? Or does it fuck you up more?

Just tell me how it feels

Needs more Dank Spider Man memes. You faggots.

Well, she's my ex. But I still care about her. We were talking over the phone yesterday and I told her that I was cutting. She cut herself so that I would stop that day.

You are an edgy faggot and you're probably making her mental issues worse. She blames herself for your cutting because you are literally doing it just to spite her. I don't approve of her cutting but you're being a huge cunt by doing that. Granted, it MIGHT work but if you're seriously rubbing her face in it.. maybe try talking with her and telling her that her cutting hurts you emotionally, deeper than any physical wound. That you'll always worry about her for it.

Appeal to her sympathy. Get her to realize that you're really just worried and don't want her to feel bad. Stop being a fucking edgy cunt about it.

>Calls someone else toxic
>tells them to kys
Stay Classy, Leafy.

>I'm kind of worried that people will see my cuts on my arm and think I do it to be an edgy faggot

do them where ppl cant see them

Time stamp

>Negative association

That's exactly what I was thinking.

And do you feel that an effective method?

>to edgy

You might be right. I'm afraid she might feel I'm.juat mocking er or something.

Faggotry detected.

...

>negative association

just remember, that works both ways.
you're still giving her attention and a big reaction, that might get her to keep doing it.

either way good luck with it, it might work.

first off, youre a shitty person. I understand the idea behind it, but i dont think its gonna help. talk to her. "why are you doing this?" "what can I do to help?" "i want you to get better because i love you." second step: get her a doctor's appointment. get her to talk about whats going through her head. maybe pick up some meds or think about counseling. if she's worth the effort like you say it is, do this. if not, keep cutting yourself until she breaksdown and kills herself or dumps you

but if she stops cutting herself/hitting her head... she's gonna need a new outlet. or just hide this one better. TALK TO HER

Deep cuts are the best cuts imo.

Just do it faggot.

get help m8

the girls we're talking about are well beyond the point of talking fam

You are completely insane.

y'all are fucked up

why are you censoring yourself

you are not helping

>everyone is assuming we don't talk at all and I just go fucking crazy with a chef's knife with her eyes pinned open clockwork Orange style

Filling in the blanks is hard

We do talk, she says she doesn't know why she does it. Really she gives a different reason each time.

They are always superficial, I don't think she wants to REALLY hurt herself.

I know I sound like an asshole but I really think she is lookin for pity or the "poor girl" type of attention. She told me she lied to people at her school saying she had cancer for attention. So she has pulled stunts like this before so all things considered I'm just trying to shut the shit down.

No girl is beyond talking. She's still a person.

I'm just saying though, like you can get her to stop cutting by making her afraid to do it, but all those reasons she was cutting in the first place are still gonna be there. Maybe she wont cut, but she can starve or drink or something else. Help her, or leave her. Because it's only going to get worse

Not helping, making it worse.

Ask her to go see someone. A psychiatrist. Her insurance, or school, or whatever should cover it. Get the girl some real help, but make sure she knows you were trying ti help.

>different reason each time
then she isn't saying the real reason. maybe she's just unhappy and doesn't know why... it's frustrating.

I really think she could benefit from counseling. she has some deeprooted problems dude. speaking as a girl who does/did the same shit. push her to get that help

I mean that these are girls who have been talked to before, who you've been over it with so many times, but who have so much damage that talking about it will not change what they do in any way.

What you're saying is nice in theory but can fail pretty hard in practice. She'll still have the underlying feelings yes, but forcing her to another outlet for them is likely to be an improvement.

maybe you can't fix her, but a counselor might, or meds. but if the people around her think she wont get better and dont support her, then yeah it's not gonna change shit

My ex tried this bullshit on me a few years ago and honestly it didn't work for me at all. All it taught me was how to hide it better and just not mention it. Like it might work depending on the person but I doubt it will help, gl.

It's "per se," you ignorant fuck.

OP I know exactly what you are feeling as a person who tries to look at all angles I find that suicide is the only logical thing for you and your waifu. Kys fgt

support her, but dont let her doormat you. you gotta be gentle when she's sad, but stern when she's stupid. dont let her cut. tell if she keeps doing it, and if she refuses help, that youll tell her family. bring in people who care about her. tell her it isnt ok, but you can fix it together

not OP but my example is after a decade of counselling and about 5 medications for different things. The meds mostly stopped her killing herself, the counselling helped with some of the paranoia, but they can only do so much.

she'd want her family to know, they're the ones who made her like this and she'd love to cause them pain for it.

I appreciate you guise acting like you've been through this before in the real world tho

I'm a girl that does the same shit as OP's girl. I have a little insight. Counseling has helped a lot. Maybe it won't work for OP, but I know having support and love helps.

She is on a mood stabilizer and Klonopin.

She just got out of a mental hospital, she voluntarily committed herself. We(she and I) don't want er to go back. The staff was just a bunch of lazy niggers(literally) collecting a paycheck. They also over medicated her. I know I'm not a fucking doctor but there was this oneed she would take and I could watch the soul leave her body, an empty shell of a human.

I think medication is the wrong route with her, she just needs a stern 'cut that shit out' talk

thats fair.

love and support helps and is always the first choice. Just remember that however your life has gone, there's always somebody who is carrying around more damage than you are.

I'm glad it worked out okay for you

do it on your dick instead, that way only she can see it

Op, I'll speak in language you can understand, without any explanation:

You stay, you lose.

Take it from your Sup Forumsros, that is one messed up chick and she'll only bring you down. LOOK what she already has you doing to yourself!!

Eject!

EDGELORD THE THREAD

You stay, you lose

You stay, you lose

Yeah, meds didn't work for me either. They either had really bad side-effects, or would make me a zombie. Counseling helped though. It really helps to have someone to pour out all your unhappiness into without consequence.

I know. And it doesn't all go away. Sometimes I slip up and starve myself, or go beg for drugs on the streets just for the danger of it. But it gets easier. The bad stuff is still there, but it can get easier...

Yeah, don't cut for her. Don't let yourself fall to that, and also don't encourage batshit behavior. Honestly, best route is small reactions and counseling.

Also, OP... I remember some of the stuff I did, I did it because it felt like the only way to get the affection I wanted. Be more affectionate when she's happy haha positive reinforcement as opposed to negative association, you know?

Dubs, I win.

what a fantastic idea OP!! It's like rubbing a puppies nose in its shit.

just send her to someone once a week. make sure she finds someone she connects with. let her try out a couple... like it really helps to have that outlet. husbands/boyfriends are fine, but it's good to have someone to talk to that you dont have to worry about hurting every time you tell them how empty you are inside

>just send her to someone once a week
I'll take her off your hands for an hour or two

Thank you. Seriously

I can tell you are speaking with wisdom gained from your own experiences

I forgot to mention that one of her meds started to make her hair fall out, so she shaved it. As a gesture of support I shaved mine too. I know it's not a big deal for a man, but whatever.

I'm just saying that started the trend of "we're in this together, whatever happens to you happens to us" and I probably took that too far. I will look more into positive reinforcement.

cut off her fingers OP. she wont be able to hold the blade then

One of the meds I was taking gave me a rash that could have been fatal. Not dead, but I've got a big scar on my wrist from it now... I feel ugly when I look at it. Shaving your head was a really nice gesture.

That sort of trend can be really good, but really bad. It makes you a safe space to act out. She can show you her cuts and hurt herself, and she knows you won't stop her.

If you really can't stop her, like if she just leaves to go do whatever dumb self-destructive thing she does, then don't follow her. Don't give into that bs and don't let her yank you around. But do all you can to keep her there. I don't know... I'm trying to be helpful, but like I said, I'm sort of in the same position. A lot of support and love is needed, but you also need to send some firm boundaries and it's really hard to find that balance.

Anyways, best of luck OP. Even though your methods are a little crazy, it's good of you to try and fix the problem instead of leaving or ignoring it.