I've written a 15 page suicide note. I add onto it every time I'm about to attempt. Nearly every time is the same, I can't do it. When I did really try I failed. I want the people controlling me in my life to know what I'm thinking, but only when I'm dead so I don't have to face rejection after they know what I think of them, and life.
Solution?
I know I'm a whiny little bitch, that's why I want to die.
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kys
as much as this is probably a troll. Dont fucking do it dude. You can always come back.
It's hard to see it that way, but you can do it.
Ain't nobody gonna read that shit, you retard. Keep it short and sweet.
try
Why would I be a fucking troll? I can think of a million better ways to troll people on here.
Run away you shit.
Grab your fucking bike and take the nearest route
You get 70 or so years to live life.
Then youre dead until the literal end of time itself.
The fact that you even breathe means you won the lottery. I mean, what are the chances that you'd even be born?
Do what you can. Make the most of life.
But what I'm going through is too hard right now. At the very least I need to escape the hellhole I'm in.
If you really wanted to die, youd use a gun, dipshit
Buy drugs. Hard drugs.
Ha that was in one of my threads from a month or so ago
Yep, thought it was hilarious, i lol'd. So i saved for scenarios just like this
Then escape. Run away. Find a way out that doesn't evolve killing yourself. You can do it. I've done it. If I can do it, trust me, so can you. Take care of yourself.
I guess it came full circle
Can I have your computer?
Escape the hellhole you're in now so you don't want to kill yourself. Shit just get yourself a job, save up for a year, quit, buy a lot of weed and lots of seeds, go live on a small uninhabited island and just learn to provide for yourself, all the while growing weed and getting baked. Shit would be the life.
burn it, die, let them know nothing
I can't run away. What I mean is not only do I have to deal with mental trauma, and schizophrenia, but my two options in life which I'm at the crossroads of are both horrible and will kill me either way. Running away literally would be the worst choice.
If you wanna waste a winning lotto ticket, by all means.
I've got a note like yours tucked away on my computer. I used to read it all the time, but shit's getting better for me. It's hard. You just have to bust your ass for it.
Dont do that. Suicidal is acceptable, but dont be a suicidal fucking degenerate
Maybe as another attention whore you can share some wisdom with OP, since you also didnt end up kys
my actual advice to you is just to whine. whine loud and shamelessly. demand. screech. literally grab people's shirt collars. be heard. be panting and emotional about it.
I am OP. This has been a problem with me for a while, because I have nobody to turn to because if I turn to people I know I'll be punished. So I turn to you guys because you punish me in a different way, by confirming how unfit I am to live.
What do you mean by, "will kill you either way"? Can you explain further, please?
I can't bring myself to cry to those around me. Not only would I be punished but I don't want to be remembered as the whining child I am deep down
One way is where I continue a normal route in life that's making me miserable, the other is to go another route where I gain a leg up on my peers for only a short time then crash into an even worse state of failure. I have a superiority/inferiority complex so the second seems attractive
you can whine like an adult now.
now, it carries the threat of violence.
Oh ffs. Quit being a fucking pussy and just talk to someone irl. All these over invested pricks bitching and moaning. Life is full of opportunities. Endless amounts of failure, and endless opportunities to learn. Man up, take your trouble like a man and move on with your life. Dont look back
>i know i'm a whiny little bitch, that's why i want to die
how about you just stop being a whiny little bitch?
No one is going to fucking coddle you. You have to learn to deal with life.
You're not unfit to live. You're not. If you truly believed that, you wouldn't be on here, in a way asking for help. I know how hard it is and to even start to believe what I'm telling you, but there is always hope. You just don't see it now. Do whatever it takes, OP. If that means going to extremes, like getting yourself committed; then do it. That will at least get you away from certain triggers and anything negative going on so you can get on the road to recovery. If you think nobody cares about you, know that I do. We obviously don't know each other, but on the other hand, I wouldn't be writing this, if I didn't care. You can do this. Take it one day at a time. Never give up!
Therapy is a good idea. It will give you someplace to get used to showing emotions to someone, anyway.
You're upset because you're shitty and flawed, and I agree you are. But you are still workable, still useful.
dont kill yourself kill someone who needs to die and take them with you... ya killing yourself is selfish when you can help rid the world of someone since you want to die.
>if you really wanted to kill yourself, you would have just done it on impulse
>if you really wanted to kill yourelf you would planned before so you dont fuck it up
I explained how I can't talk to anyone IRL. Everyone has an agenda for me, there's nobody I can safely discuss my problems with
Nowhere in my post did i say use impulse. Just because youre using a gun, doesnt mean its not planned
Hi OP. How old are you?
I go to therapy, but I've come to learn that therapists are spineless, and only want money so they just attempt to nod their heads at everything.
while everyone does have a self-interested agenda, some of those will align with yours. trusting people is hard, but know that plenty of people ENJOY hearing things from crazies and talking them down from it. it's fun.
its a common thought among people that people who really want to commit suicide would just do it without thinking much about it before. obviously a thought like that is contradictory to your thought
I mean if you're so set on killing yourself then go do some stupid shit. Go drink a shit ton of booze or something. Snort crack off of a hookers ass. Live a little
swap them! it took me a long time. also see if there's groups, those people are just in the same boat as you and their motives are a mixed bag.
that's a silly assertion. generally a lot of thought goes into suicide beforehand, it's difficult as fuck psychologically to kill yourself. kind of a trick your higher brain functions have to pull on the lower
If you go to school the therapists there can be helpful.
If you don't got to school, go to school. Community college. Learn something, better yourself, quit being a whinny little bitch.
on that note, become a test subject in unethical experiments. try taking a lot of psychedelics, maybe it will slap your fucked up neurochemistry into a new configuration