Liar

>Liar
>Hypocrite
>Whiner
>Coward
>Manlet
>Doesn't lift
>Emo geek
>Entitled brat
>Reads comic books
>Liberal cuck
>Pathetic quitter
>Most boring guy in any room at any time
>Hissy fit enthusiast
>Meat-fearer
>Booze-dodger
>Pudding belly
>Straight edge weakling
>Runs in the opposite direction like a terrified screaming girl at the mere sight of a burger
>All his matches are sloppy and riddled with botches
>Ultra-sensitive
>Tumblr feminist
>Worst physique in wrestling since Mick "Ten Burgers" Foley
>Sk8er boi
>Doesn't like to party
>Prefers Pepsi to Budweiser
>30 minute boring promos sent the audience to sleep
>Never drew a penny
>Failed to take the advice from the great Kevin Nash
>Hasn't taken a shower
>Hasn't hit the weights
>Hasn't got a clue
>My Chemical Romance fan
>Wrote the foreword for a vegan cookbook
>Desperate to be edgy. Fails miserably
>Drones on about being an atheist. Nobody cares
>Thinks using Cult Of Personality for this theme is cool. It isn't
>GTS stolen from KENTA
>Ananconda Vice stolen from Tenzan
>Adored by beta morons
>Calling that overrated and carefully scripted promo a "pipebomb" represents a new level of cringe
>Cried about Lesnar
>Cried about The Rock
>Cried about HHH
>Cried about Vince
>Cried about The Big Guy (for you!) Ryback
>Cried about the doctors
>Cried about not being in a WrestleMania main event
>Is the only person who sees talent in his boyfriend Colt Cabana
>Performs worst top rope elbow drop in history
>Booked as WWE champion for over year, made million of dollars - all he did was complain
>Most laughable "fighter" in UFC history

LOOK AT THIS DOO

Two years compeltely wasted

LOOK AT THE TOP OF HIS EAR

2:14 LOLOLOLOLOL

/ASP/IES UTTERLY BTFO

HOW WILL MANDRAMA FAGS RECOVER??

>never drew a penny

you are supposed to leave the obvious b8 for the last line

Yeah but Cena carried him to a 5 star match once

DRANK 6,000 cans of Pepsi ad never drew a dime.

Dude, what happened with Edge?

Its almost like playing pretend dress up doesn't translate to actual fighting skills.

neck damage and forced to retire, now he hosts a comedy show with Christian on the WWE Network for only 9.99, worth every penny pham.

All those are true except the manlet part.

That's really sad, he was scum, but at least he has personality.

I was kinda rooting for him, but any opportunity to take a shit on /asp/ is good by me.

why on earth did he think he could fight a professional fighter? So comprehensively BTFO

WHY YOU DIDNT TOLD THAT KID IT WAS FAKE, RIGHT???

>people upset about calling him out for lasting as long as the average Sup Forums shitposter
>wow CM Punk so brave stepping into the octagon without any experience

So if he doesn't have any fucking experience why is he allowed to fight? Oh right, because he's a famous millionaire so that's why he deserves it.

This what happens when some fake """"wrestler"""" comes into a real sport

He had it coming considering how cocky he was. If Dana White had any dignity he would fire Punk right now. He lasted under a minute for gods sakes. I COULD HAVE FUCKING LASTED LONGER AGAINST GALL FOR GODS SAKES.

Brock Lesnar

>fake """"wrestler""""

I hope you realize your redundancy.

Brock Lesnar was an NCAA champion before he even set foot in the wrestling ring

>NAACP

JUST FUCK MY PEPSI UP

same thing happened to lesnar in his first ufc fight, he tapped within a minute.

...

>>Drones on about being an atheist. Nobody cares
He should have asked for God's help like my man Chocolito and maybe he would have won

It was an accident
I corrected it here

/asp/ hates Punk though

>damage control

>implying Edge isn't going to cash in his Money in the Bank briefcase tomorrow on UFC Raw

UFC is fake. Take this to /asp/.

I was impressed with his loss

you think the fight would have gone better if he didn't pick a fight against a grappler
>2 years of mma
>thinking you can deal with a brown belt
taking it to the ground from the beginning would have been my plan of attack as well

don't reply to shitfags who know nothing of the business

And that is some of the shittiest /asp/ memes, but hey. We're here pushing 'em out.

YOU SEE THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS Sup Forums YOU'RE JUST A B+ SHITPOSTER IN A WALKING UNDEAD SEA OF STAGNET GENERAL THREADS SPEWING THE SAME SHIT CONSTANTLY AND KEKING THE NEXT MAN NEXT TO YOU TO THE INTERNET GIRL YOU POSTED ABOUT TRYING TO GET OVER BUT YOU'LL NEVER GET OVER AND SPEND YOUR TIME RELENTLESSLY TRY TO GET OVER AND ONLY JOB TO THAT SAME NEXT GUY JUST BEFORE AS HE'S PUTTING YOUR GIRL OVER HIM COS YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO AND ONLY JOB IN THE BUSINESS TO THE NEXT BIG THING WHICH YOU'D NEVER EVEN KNOW HOW TO FEEL BECAUSE WHEN YOU CUP YOUR HANDS BETWEEN YOUR THIGHS YOU MIGHT AS WELL JUST TUCK AND GO BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU KNOW SINCE IT'S YOUR SONG AND YOUR DANCE WHICH MIGHT AS WELL BE SOME LATE 90S POP SONG BECAUSE THAT'S THE CLOSEST THING YOU COULD BE RELATED TO BECAUSE YOU PRACTICE DANCE MOVES TO BE COMPETITIVE AGAINST OTHER MEN

I would have lasted longer against Gall

You forgot the most crucial detail

>Married an indian boy

>one minute matches

who books this shit?

After he took Mir down and the fight was stopped for punches to the back of the head.

No me tbqh

No homo

What did Colt ever do to you asshat

Apparently he was backstage on Raw and it can cause a problem for the lawsuit.

My Chemical Romance was a cool band bro wtf

WHEN I WAS

drunk as fuck drank 2 4 lokos

Rip cm punk waited 2 years for this shit ppv was worth it he lost millions through wwe

SO LONG

He got destroyed and everyone except wwe fans saw it coming

A YOUNG WARTHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

A KID, I WISH GRANDPA

BECAUSE I AM THAT DAMN GOOD

WOULD GET OFF MEEEEEE

NOT THE COO, NOT THE GAME, JUST A MAN, YOU'RE FIGHTING JUST A MAN MICKEY

I literally would've lasted longer

this situation is worse than Nagata v. Fedor, right?

Yuji Nagata was actually thought of to be a pretty tough guy and Japan bought him as a shooter, so Nagata's fight was much worse for him because it totally exposed him.

No one ever thought Punk was tough guy.

The only people who legitimately thought CM Punk had a chance in this world are WWE fans. I saw one youtube clip of him "sparring" and knew he was a dead man walking. I've seen worldstar videos with more fight than what I've seen out of him.

And he had already lost to Cro Cop in like 18 seconds 2 years prior.

>The only people who legitimately thought CM Punk had a chance in this world are WWE fans
Like, only the stupidest of fans thought he stood a chance.

I figured at the very least he could take it to a decision and have it 30-27 across the board.

Colt was backstage at a WWE event and this didn't sit well with old Phil, he wants everyone to burn every bridge like he was stupid enough to do

He literally tapped out because he was getting his head caved in. I expected him to lose or pass out, I didn't expect him to quit.

All jokes aside, Phil isn't a man, he's the biggest bitch I've ever seen join the WWE
He's a manlet yet he wants to fight alongside and beat much bigger men, yet

He complains when someone plays too rough in the scripted ballet in the ring. Vader once got hit so hard that HIS FUCKING EYEBALL POPPED OUT. Think about that for a minute. Never once complained.

They let Phil hold on to the title for over a year, but when they decided to give him a break and midcard him for a while he immediately started bitching again, to the point that he threw a hissy fit and quit when they didn't let him win the rumble. Do you know how much shit HHH had to put up with after that one night when he celebrated with Scott Hall and Kevin Nash before they left? Anyone who knows the business will tell you, when they're pushing you down you double down and work harder, you don't bitch and quit.

He quit and unfriended one of his best friends because that friend kept a relationship with the WWE instead of burning every fucking bridge like a retard like Phil did

He allegedly loses it and gets pissy just because fans call him Phil. He's an absolute douchebag and he's too good for you if he doesn't know you personally he doesn't want you calling him by his real name (look it up online, not making this up)

In other words this guy's a bitch's bitch, he thinks WAY too highly of himself and in general is just a douchebag who deserves no respect from anyone.

Yes he was good on the mic and decent in the ring but he wanted to take over the fucking show like he was another phenomenon like Kurt Angle or Steve Austin, which his drawing numbers clearly state he wasn't.
the only thing he ever did right was he at least saved up his money and lives comfortably, got some nice ass while in the WWE and married a cute girl although she has the body of a 12 year old boy, honestly looking at his dating history he could've done so much better.

FUCK cm bitch

He drew, and he was good on the mic, but he wanted to be treated like fucking royalty, like another Undertaker or Steve Austin and he obviously was never THAT amazing.

He bitched and bitched and bitched some more, which is not the way to do things and one of the reasons nobody respected him. You work hard, you earn respect, and you double down on that to get what you want.

It's actually true though. PPV and TV numbers went down during Punk's reign

Yes, since losing to Fedor doesn't seem that bad on paper since even people like Sakuraba refused to fight him. Punk was just embarrassed.

Punk's match devolved into a schoolyard beatdown in 2 seconds.

>he spends all that time on /asp/
>he somehow managed to not realise that /asp/ hates Punk
wew lad, that is some turbo-autism

Buddy, I'd never even heard of CM Punk until it was rumoured he'd fight in the UFC, and maybe this contains all sorts of info and insight into him -- but your post...your post buddy, it says a lot more about YOU than it ever could about anyone else.

Hope you find peace, bro.

>Dana White
>dignity

the guy shit on GSP for a decade, and GSP pretty much built the UFC and turned mma into a commodity.
he's a lecherous 50 year old man with a wife and 3 kids and he can't keep his hands off the wmma fighters, until they glance sideways at him and he beta-retreats like a pimple-faced teen.

he has no dignity

wut
LOL NO

Mir won by footlock, newbuddy

Anyone have webms of the fight?

a list that beautifully autistic deserves a reply

you have the disease known as autism my man

>He allegedly loses it and gets pissy just because fans call him Phil. He's an absolute douchebag and he's too good for you if he doesn't know you personally he doesn't want you calling him by his real name (look it up online, not making this up)

This is most wrestlers, bro. To them it's simply the telltale sign of a know it all smark.

Straight Edge, not even once. Without a healthy amount of alcohol circulating through his blood he's developed crazy old man crow's feet.

Austin 2:14 says I just whooped your ass

>gayesspee built the ufc
>leaf

>“I did want to show off the striking with him, but he came in hot so I took him down,” Gall said. “I wasn’t surprised he got through those early chokes because I was only half committing, almost playing a game with it in a way."

>he can't keep his hands off the wmma fighters, until they glance sideways at him and he beta-retreats

citation needed

>40 years old
>Was never an athlete
>Dana knew he'd get beat in the first round
>Still put him on the main card

I'd expect this kind of meme match in Bellator, but fuck diluting UFC.

Anybody trying to convince themselves the UFC doesn't do freak fights on the regular is totally delusional.

Freak fights are the UFC's stock-in-trade despite Dana claiming otherwise.

JUST

no that other user is right. the fight was reset because of punches back of mir head.

Aw come on guys she's not that masculine hehe..

>GTS stolen from KENTA

my nigga

>If Dana White had any dignity he would fire Punk right now
If anything he's implying he needs pseudo feuds, cringe weigh-in segments and ex-Man Drama talent to draw money or interest.

Punk should have entered with Nine Inch Nail's "Wish"

Remember when Batista fought in UFC and won?

>Complained about Lesnar and the Rock sauntering in and being handed a big match and promoted as top guys when they haven't done anything wrestling related for many years, and there are tons of other guys on the roster who have been busting their ass for that spot and deserve it more but the company shits on them in favour of old has-beens

>Saunters into UFC as an old has-been and gets handed a spot that loads of other younger guys have been training for years and busting their ass for

>Getting by a guy with an intro of Hey Mickey!

J
U
S
T

really makes you think

>yfw this faggot has to go cap in hand to TNA and wrestle the likes of Damian Sandow and Cody Rhodes on the undercard of Bound for Glory

>CM Punk vs Brother Nero

Would fucking watch

>2016 TNA
>bad

It's arguably the best wrestling show every week.

At least he'll finally get to main event the biggest event of a non indie promotion

this to me is the most puzzling angle to all of this

what upside did Dana see in this? Punk was popular with a narrow constituency of the WWE audience, who largely already liked MMA to begin with, there wasn't very much crossover appeal, certainly nowhere near enough to make up for what happened last night

THIS

doesn't like the literal GOAT coming back to wrestling but just prances into professional fighting like he was owed the spot, burns my ass how many people are falling for his fake humility shit