Greentext thread!!

Greentext thread!!
>Be me
>17, in highschool
>There is this one tard in my class
>nickname him Chromosome Kid
>Say it in front of him one day
>ohshit
>He likes his new nickname
>Acts like a goddamn superhero
>So god damn cringy
>He has a paper crest that has KK (Kromosome Kid) on it
>He gets his tard friends to join his "Superhero Leauge"
>He calls it his Khromosome Kid Klan
>FUCKING FLAG SAYS KKK
>HOLY SHIT
>Remember Black Lives Matter group is coming in
>Tell KK to chant KKK, because Nigger lives Matter stands for equality and justice
>BLM comes in the next day
>RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE THE KKK CHANTS BEGIN
>HOLDING MY FUCKING LAUGHTER AS MORE KIDS JOIN
>Soon a teacher joins in
>Wat.jpg
>Soon everyone is chanting
>Principle lynches all the niggers in cafeteria
>top kek

So how was highschool for you, user?

bump

Top kek, user

Kek

Wait what the fuck

>be me
>be 16
>be outside during summer vacation
>look across street
>tard kid walking down side walk
>wat
>look closer
>TARD KID IS ON A LEASH
>tard wrangler having a hell of a time keeping tard kid under control
>trying so hard not to laugh
>tard kid starts clawing at neck
>trying to get leash off
>tard wrangler yelling for tard to stop
>tears streaming down my face not to laugh
>tard kid starts shaking and thrashing wildly
>tard wrangler looses leash
>OHSHIT
>car coming
>tard tries to run into road
>tard wrangler grabs leash at last second
>pulls tard out of the way, causing the tard to fall over onto the curb
>tard wrangler starts screaming at tard for being retarded
>almost exact words
>tard starts making half cry half primal grunt noise
>the kraken is upon us
>have to run inside so tard wrangler dosent hear me laugh
>on floor laughing

High school had its moments OP

FUCKING BEAUTIFUL

MOAR PL0X

More story's,
Start typing, Anons

>Be me, 15
>Sitting with my friends, playing snake
>Some fucker took my phone
>Ask nicely to give it back
>I'm nice to him because his mother has some disability
>Try to hold back my anger
>He taunts me
>9000% MAD
>Tell him I'm gonna rip his intestines out and sell them on ebay.
>He looks shocked, not a single word
>Smile lightly, tell him the only reason he's still alive is because his mother is to fucking stupid to microwave him
>Everyone looks at me in horror, like someone came in and shot the place up
>His friend rams my head into a wall
>Fucking hurts so I went home
>Got call from teacher and whatever
>My dad calls me.
>My dad is a strict cop and I knew I had to do something
>I do nothing
>My family makes me do tests and has interventions with me
>Had to go to therapy
>Mfw my family thinks I'm fucking insane

Bump

>9000% MAD
Fucking lost it before it got funny

lold

>be me
>sitting in history watching some dumb shit movie about old dudes
>some tards brought as part of a special program allowing tards to mingle with normies to make them feel more normal
>Super Tards McGee parks his wheel chair in front of my desk.
>Fantastic amirite?
>Half way through start hearing some low slapping
>some girl near Super Tards turns around
>"WHAT THE FUCK?!"
>Tardo is whackin his 12 incher
>Tard wranglers are late to the scene
>keking while all the girls get up and run outta the classroom
>Tard wranglers escort The magnificent Tardo and his outstanding sidekick the 12 inch yogurt blaster
>mfw he starts consuming his vile discharge

Shameless self bump

WHAT ThE FUCK user

FUCKING KEK

>Be me
>Probably 15 or so
>At lunch
>Have my phone out because it's lunch so fuck it
>Some fag dean tries to take my phone
>I jock it right away
>Fucker tries to reach in my pants for it
>I flip him off
>Call him a fag
>Whole lunch room is watching this go down
>Get suspended on the spot for 3 days
>"Sweet, three days I legally get off school)
>(Was a truant at the time)
>Teacher calls my phone later to let me know I'm NOT suspended anymore
>Good thing my brother answered

>Tardo is whackin his 12 incher
Like is fuckin perfected

>Super Tards McGee parks his wheel chair in front of my desk.

Can we all agree on now calling wheel chairs tard chariots? i mean it makes sense and theres really no downside to it.

>consuming his vile discharge
user, dude, you sound fuckin traumatized.

>V I L E D I S C H A R G E

Someone needs to photoshop a tard in a chariot

bup

not even that. find an image of a tard in a wheelchair and photoshop him to look like an ancient roman soldier being towed by not a horse, but another tard thats a parapelegic running around on all 4 stubs

Rollerino

The fuck are you rollin for?

Rawl c'mon Trips plz

He's rolling like a tard

>be me, 11
>on bus home after school
>A fat mexican kid named san-franscisco in my class on the buss
>always ignored him cause fat and stupid
>my stop is coming up when suddenly franscisco yells from other side of buss
>"Hey, user! Wanna to go burn down the barn next to the kindergarden?"
>everyone on buss looks at him like the stupid fat kid he is
>i say "yeah" because stupid kid myself
>we get off at stop and walk to barn
>some rabbits and chickens
>lose franscisco in the building
>oh shit did he do it?
>find the fat mexican lighting matches holding them to the wall
>sees me, looks me in the eyes with his fat mexican face "oooh its gonna burn!"
>super dissapointed, like fuck you francisco
>look through barn some more
>find room filled with hay
>time to show franscisco a real fire

Cont?

yes cont

bumping

cont pls

yes please

I bet his cum was miscolored from all the extra chromosomes.

continue faggot


bump

Rolling

>get franscisco to come into hay room
>tell him to light it on fire
>"oooh nooo... that would be scary"
>wtf it was your idea franscisco
>take his matches
>light hay on fire, hold his eye contact
>"thats how you do it faggot"
>oh shit that lit up fast
>fat spic starts crying, i jank him and we both run out
>kindergarden is nearby
>oh fuck what have i done
>fat spic runs crying into road and causes a car crash
>total chaos
>i run to kindergarden
>get all toddlers from fire
>grown up "thank you user what would we have done without you"
>uh
>master plan pops into head
>start running home thinking about the time a fat tard sat on me in class and farted on me while girls were kissing me
>get home all teary
>home alone
>call police on phone
>"officer, im so sorry ive been a bad boy i wasent able to stop him"
>"wow calm down son what happened?"
>"I was so scared and he called me chicken and he is so big i was scared he would hurt me" 'pretend to break down at that point
>"alright dont worry we are on our way to you"
>cops show up
>tell them how fatso le spania found the hay and kicked rabbits in the barn
>his family got sued
>ruined their lives
>to this day sometimes see fatso le mehico take the buss
>he only got fater every year since

probably gave it some flavor

holy kek

>start running home thinking about the time a fat tard sat on me in class and farted on me while girls were kissing me

Kekest of the keks

something that just happened last weekend:
>senior in hs
>get invited to this popular slut's 18th bday party
>hellyea.wav
>week flies by
>"mark it's byob dont forget"
>oh you thought I forgot
>come thru with mango-pineapple svedka
>her nasty puerto father takes a sip of my drink at the door
>either he was cool with his lil whore daughter drinking with her friends, or he was too drunk himself to care
>I walk in 20min late and the female minorities were already thrashing their asses about
>nice
>im greeted by mobs of drunk people hlding their solo cups out for my vodka
>i push through grabbing some chocolate monkey ass on the way
>whythefucknot.jpg
>see the girl throwing the party, dancing on the back patio in a skirt and bra.
>aw yea
>she's very excited to see me (my bottle)
>whatever
>start pourin up for people, apparently only me and few other dumbasses actually followed the byob rule
>someone passes me a joint
>niiiiiceee
>sippin on my own bottle and smoking has started to eat away at my inhibitions, so i start dancing to some niggertune the albino dj was blasting
>a cute asian girl is.... throwing ass on me! hey!
>i slide my hands down her hips
>man, i wouldve never been so bold sober but alas
>she starts to pull me by the hand away from the dancing
>itshappening.bj
>we go upstairs where a couple was already making out in the bathroom
>she takes me into the parents bedroom
>fuck or suck?? i didnt bring any condoms shit
>she starts aggressively kissing me, im diggin it
>im trying to get a handful of chink tit when she pushes me onto the parents bed and starts tugging at my jeans
>she gets them down, then my underwear
>she got right to work and it was fantastic
>i'd gotten head before but this was like a thousand angels massaging my dicktip
>nut in like 8 minutes and maybe 34 seconds
>she swallows my nut like wonton soup
>i get up to pull up my pants when she starts dying laughing
>confused
>turn around to see... a miraculous skidmark

dare i cont?

Be me
20 noob that's smoked weed twice in his life
brother is a pot head
brings over pot cookies
tells me 2 will get you high and 5 will fuck you up
me being a dumbass take all 5
not feeling it
wondering wtf
1 hour goes by
somehow end up outside on grass
feels like I'm going up the starting ramp of a roller coaster
can't stand, keep falling back
go in and out of conciousness
somehow end up on my couch
grab a bucket and start heaving
fill up bucket with my byle
pass out , brother goes home
tell my mom the next day
laughs her ass off
says I should never do it again
still a pussy till this day

Oh, greentext stories? Sure, heres mine

>Be me in kingergarten
>Just got back from trip to disneyland
>Love me some Mascots
>Mom accidently puts red shirt in with white.
>Pink tightie whitie central, population this guy.
>Get back to school, tell everyone the struggle of the white cis male.
>They dont believe me.
>niggayouthinkthisisagame.exe
>Say Ill prove it, Im wearing them right now
>Pull down drawers
>Mfw I wasnt wearing them
>Mfw I wasnt wearing any.

Yes

>Not knowing how to greentext

>17

Only adults are allowed here kiddo

pls cont

What I'm I reading?

Go on

Cont faggot I need to finish fapping

please continue

kek

Continue dammit

con-tin-ue

perfect

kys

This board is 18+, friend.

bump

>They aren't because they didn't specify.

as a wheelchair bound tard, i now officially declare them tard chariots

...

They aren't because read the post. Either this kid is posting about something that happened last week, or he's a fag and needs to grow up.
>I was a dick to a teacher I'm so cool heheh

Who would post that besides underage b&

barely even considered bait

>Implying not all Sup Forumstards are acoustic manchildren

>shitshitshit
>literally
>i turn around to strangle the only witness but she's dipped
>i look around panicked still drunk+high, need to remove the stain then explain myself to the girl i just busted in
>grab a vase of flowers on the nightstand, pour on my crescent-moon-shaped shit mark
>start rubbing in with hand (drunk+high, member?)
>it makes a bigger stain
>throw the covers over it
>jesus christ i think im gonna throw up
>realize my wiener still out
>whip up the pants hella quick, almost circumcise myself with my zipper
>run down stairs, function is still bumpin
>"fuck has she told anyone? she was pretty drunk so..??"
>realize im talking out loud
>bro i knew from the football team walks up, sloshed:
>"hahaha did u score brooo?"
>give him a weak smile
>"did you see where she went"
>he points a solo cup to the outdoor patio
shiiiit
>shove my way through the main dance cluster
>asian BITCH is snickering to the near-passed out bday girl, points at me
oh no she dinnt
>clench my fist, really about to knock her ass out... even tho it was my fault i spilled assquik while she was sucking me like a pacifier
>i see the birthday cake mostly intact next to her
>fuckit.pdf
>grab the side of her head and smash it down into the cake, folding the plastic table underneath the cake with the weight of her body
>some girls scream, guys begin chorus of "woaaah" and "hey man!" some even "yooo!"
>people inside peeping out
>girl is trying to get up in her drunken state
>all of a sudden get extremely paranoid
>make a run for it
>bolt off the back patio, climb the fence, dash to my car
>drive drunkish home
made it home anyways, terrified. all this week people muttering about my incident, but some people were too drunk to remember who it was. eventually girl who invited me found shitstain

today they began calling me skidmarkus

Woah black betty, bam ba lam

Dissapointed my true story is passed over for "lol tards and jizz"

Old tale, but still hilarious.

>Mentally handicapped female
>Doesn't spaz out so allowed to participate in normal classes
>Prone to fits of epilepsy
>She always runs from class to lunch
>Theres a short set of stairs that descend from the classrooms to the quad area
>One day she has an epileptic fit at the top of the stairs while running full speed ahead
>Trips
>Houston, we have liftoff
>Silence descends upon the quad
>Entire school watches as she soars through the air like a B-24 fatally hit by a flak burst
>OH THE HUMANITY
>No response from ailerons or elevator
>Attempt wheels-up landing
>Plows into the pavement at 200 knots
>Finally comes skidding to a stop 20 yards from the base of the stairs
>Made the first down
>Crowd goes wild

>Pic related. Our faces while it was happening.

kek

obviously fake

Some 50 year old dude tried to reach into a 15 year old's pants. My actions were 100% justified.

>Skidmarkus
Holy shit my sides

> Be me at approximately age 8 or so (elementary school)
> Retard chink shoulda been in mega retard school not public
>Retard chink always is jumping up and down clapping his little hands
> Makes weird high pitch squealing noises, typical retard shit
> This kid did so many strange things
> Pissed in the urinals with his pants down around his ankles, ass fully out
> Occasionally pissed on his own pants, pulled em up, went about his business
> Once he STUNK up the broom and didn't flush. I was waiting in and went in after.. Kid you not, biggest shit I've seen to date
> No lie his shit looked like a loaf of french bread that was twisted
> Tardo eventually got kicked out of my middle school for punching a math teacher
> Rumors spread. Apparently she didn't let him eat his animals crackers in class and he flipped shit

Fast forward 15 years

Literally just saw the kid yesterday in the store where I work. First time I've seen him in years...
He was with his mom, and while I was at the cash register scanning items, every item I scanned he would say out like in a retard voice

> "Hehehe... ... EGGS!"
> "... bread... yeah bread."
> "ooh! donut! :D "

All in his annoying ass voice

Fucking lol'd

10/10 if troll
7/10 if copypasta