I wrote something of a letter to my family to explain what happened and why i lied about having a job for several...

I wrote something of a letter to my family to explain what happened and why i lied about having a job for several months.

should i send it?

no u dumb fuck

what happened?

op here. lets start the letter. its very dark sad and pathetic. enjoy.


Mornings are the hardest. I would wake to the alarm, the world blurry and unwelcome. The stress and exhaustion only pushed back just enough to make my way across the room and silence the alarm. In the quiet that followed my world would crumble.

In these moments i can't see anything past the exhaustion, past the stress, past the shame of my weakness. Just standing there, morning after morning looking at the now quite alarm in the corner of my room, trying to muster the will to move. It didn't come, it never would. Oh all the good reasons where there ready to taunt me until i collapsed in my chair. You need money, you have a responsibility to your company, to your friends, to your family… MOVE. The weakness of my body and mind would paralyze me, and every morning the character of my failure would become clear once again.

you are just trying to make yourself feel better about your bad situation. that wont help you get out of it. why have you given up op?

Why didn't i tell anyone i had abandoned my job? A delusion. At the time i would have called the decision hope, the hope that i would get another job right away. I could pull the old bait and switch, i'd have a new job before anyone even knew what had happened. I knew from the start it was a bad idea, that if the plan didn't work quickly i would be committed to a deception that got worse and more dangerous the longer it went on. Why then did i do it? Part of it was the shame of my weakness and failure, part of it was the fear that someone would try to help me.

I imagine myself a man in hole he can't get out of. It's cold, dark and dirty. I didn't want anyone to know i was in the hole for fear of pulling them in with me. They would reach out a hand and if i grasped it the weight of my burdens would send us both careening to the bottom. So why then did i accept a loan? I was suddenly very, very desperate.

Last part...

A long overdue debt that i could never pay had found me, and it didn't care how deep the hole was, it had long arms and would take the last scraps i was subsisting on and take anything that i managed to earn in the future. If i let the court file a judgment against me i was never getting out. The only option was a bankruptcy i couldn't afford. Borrowing the money was a terrible mistake that drew my only sister into the same darkness that i trapped myself into.

No user, you shouldn't send it.

It's far too self-indulgent. It's fine to tell your family that you've been depressed, but keep it short, and sussinct. Appologise only if you need to and focus on what you have done to overcome it if it is important for them to know you're in a dif place.

Actually, I just read some more of it, you know the situation better than any of us, soz I spoke too soon, maybe you've got it right. doesn't sound anything too bad. I would avoid being too graphic with your descriptions of the darkness you felt though, but maybe you have diff way of talking to your family than I do so... I'm sure you know best.

Your honesty will put you on the same page as them. That can't be a bad thing going forward hey? Good on you user! Can you describe any future plans to them to address your situation. Good if there's a hopeful part to tell of.

Why have i given up i don't know. because even when i was successful it never made me happy or want to do it more.

your right it does feel self indulgent to hate my self. although something about that sounds odd.

And then you got the fuck out of bed you fucking mook

i guess that is what i was going for. the truth will set you free kind of thing....

Fair enough. I struggle with self-loathing and related emotions. I know this advice is difficult to take when you're in the midst of it, but I think it's important to recognise what you do have power over, and to acknowledge that you do have power over your emotions.

Start with changing the narrative that you have. Be careful not to scuplt your identity by the story that you tell yourself and others of who you are.

What exactly is your point?

Ask yourself why you are writing the letter in the first place. Do you want to improve your relationship with your family? Do you want their support? Do you want things to get better for yourself, in the way you live and think about yourself?

If these things, then it's important that you put a bunch of consideration into the feelings of your family. They may have been hurt by you, or may have been worried about you, they may wonder what the future may bring.

You probably have some ideas about things you could do to improve your situation (because you're writing this letter in the first place), so perhaps as well as fessing up to how hard things have been for you, describe what you want in the future for yourself and your family and how you plan on getting there.

If you write a letter about how awful you are, your self conception will not be improved, and your family will be worried about you. If you write a ltter about how you 'struggle with dark emotions', but you want to get better and here's how you want to improve, then you have set yourself up for your family to connect with you in a way where they some positivity about you making the change, as you start reframing who you are and your life.

your right about all of that user. its one of those easier said then done kinds of things. i don't even know where to begin.

the point is to give them the truth as i see it. but i suppose they wouldn't like it if the read it

Also also, in thinking of reframing. It sounds like things got bad for you, but you put up with an awful lot and you struggled with a lot. Make sure you emphasise the extent to which you were resilient through a time when you were dealing with dark emotions.

Why do you care? You've managed this long. Just get a job and act like it never happened.

that sounds like good advice user. Perhaps if i put a positive spin on things i may even be able to convince my self of it.

This is a good point. Have you hurt anyone besides yourself over this time? You borrowed money from your sister (fairly normal thing). Is there any other way that you have wronged your family apart from lyig to them?

Because my mom already knows, and in a way i didn't see coming.

One of the jobs i applied for called her to verify me resume... who fucking calls someones mother to verify a resume.

no other then that i haven't. Ive been very careful not to drag them into my mess as much as possible.

Are you underaged?

...

no, nor do i live at my parents house. it never occurred to me that's how my house of cards would fall.

Wtf why would they call your mom

thanks for all the helpful advice anons. i don't think i will send that letter. maybe an optometrist phone call would be better.

You're pathetic if you think that half assed, "I used lots of big words and ambiguous statements to make it seem like I really had a point." Scrap that shit, call your mom, tell her you haven't had a job for months and apologize you fucking idiot. That fucking simple. All your "letter" is going to do is piss everyone off not just for being a lazy piece of shit, but being a lazy piece of shit that can't just come out and apologize for lying to their parents. Disgusting.

i know right???? wtf...