If I wanted to cut off my own hand how would I do it in the least painful way possible?

If I wanted to cut off my own hand how would I do it in the least painful way possible?

Meat cleaver I guess.

That'll go through instantly if you don't aim like a retard. Then make sure you stop the bleeding ASAP because there will be a shit tonne of blood. I saw a tip the other day saying that typing a plastic bag over the stump and making SURE it doesn't slip off is a good idea.

freeze your hand first

Currently don't own one, and I've tried with a hatchet but couldn't bring myself to swing it down

Hatchet is a bad idea, you don't have the blade length to cut the diameter of the wrist.
Don't be a pussy. This is a simple yes/no question. Either you have the resolve to hack your hand off for whatever reason or stop trying to be edgy and do something useful with yourself instead of removing extremities.

The hatchet I have has enough blade length

Your going to go straight through your radial and ulnar arteries either way, even if you don't make it through the whole way. You'll bleed to death pretty quickly if you don't have a way of stopping the bleeding. Id suggest cauterising it as soon after and getting to a hospital so they can treat it properly so it doesn't get infected and shit.

why the actual fuck do you want to cut your hand off?

Don't be cheap. If you're going to cut your hand off, this will last for the rest of your life and you may as well do it properly. Buy a good, sharp meat cleaver and check some basic anatomy on where exactly you should cut to minimise damage. Meat cleavers are designed to go through flesh and small bones, hatchets aren't and will mangle the flesh. Make sure your surroundings are sanitary and you are able to get to a hospital before bleeding out.

So why ask if you're not serious, faggot?

Buy yourself a guillotine. Wrap rope around your wrist and keep your hand in ice water before the operation to numb it. Use the guillotine on your hand (obviously) so that you don't need to worry about pussying out halfway through. Wrap the stump up in as many bandages as possible, as quickly as possible, or you will bleed out.

Would have to be a powered guillotine, a small blade needs quite a bit of weight pushing down to sever a hand.

>travel to Saudi Arabia
>steal a camel

They have doctors surgically remove limbs.

Use a tourniquet before hand. Haha get it?

Cut the Circulation in your hand first
Put try and put your hand in ice as much as you can.
If you use a sharp enough knife, you can make incision on the sides of your hand.
If you feel both sides of the base of your hand you can find two little lumps, in between in the joint.

I suggest you tie your hand down, get something to bite down on, and ever hook up some painkillerss.

You'll need to be in a good head space after otherwise you might panic and well die.

keeping you hand in a bucket of ice is good incase you instantly regret.

Im no expert but ive been cheffing for years, ive seen lots of bad cuts, and ive cut up alot of animals. Sup Forums is right get a meat clever or butchers knife. Victrinox is the best brand for this, but I have a phat Global vegetable knife which could probably do the job too

This user is right,
>stream pls

Seems as though no one is thinking rationaly here. Just use some powertool with a sawblade, that they use for wood cutting.

Lightsaber

It will probably be painful enough, and take long enough, for OP to pass out. A meat cleaver is clearly superior.
Also, the cut will be shitty enough to be life threatening, not to mention the trouble you'll have sterilizing the tool.

Power tools can sends painful vibrations up your arm, lots of them make a huge mess of human flesh, especially if your chicken shit like this OP.

Fuck just go to a theme park, or somewhere with machinery find something that looks dangerous and whack your hand it it.
Sue them or get workers comp

In Aus i'm pretty sure workers compensation is like $25 000 if you loose a thumb at work

The point is that OP is an indecisive pussy who can't bring himself to do it. You think he'll be man enough to stick his hand into whirring, screaming powertool?