Alright Sup Forums, I never ask for help but I think its time. I have 10 days to pass a drug test...

Alright Sup Forums, I never ask for help but I think its time. I have 10 days to pass a drug test, probably one of the cheap CVS ones. How do I do this? Also general stoner thread.

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hailmaryjane.com/10-ways-to-pass-a-drug-test/
forum.grasscity.com/threads/niacin-in-powerade-10.150662/
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Drug tests are there to deter retards who don't know how to cheat and pass.

Niacin and water all day

Bump

you got to do an "oil change"

Don't smoke weed, exercise, drink as much water as you can stomach without puking.

this

It's simple, you get a syringe with a small tube instead of a needle, put it up your urethra, and push clean piss into your bladder. That way when you piss, it will be someones clean pee instead of your stoner piss. It's called an oil change.

Easy peasy.

That sounds horrible

Nah, try it bro. All the cool kids put shit in their urethra.

any what about when it's one of those ones you stick in your mouth like they did at my last job?

and*

betterdrinkmyownpiss.jpeg

24 hours i hear

Don't smoke weed if it is acondition of employment, dumbass.

What is the drug test policy at Whole Foods or Trader Joe's?
Do they do pre employment testing?

wizzinator OP works every time

This is one of the only trolls I can't go through with. I would post poison crystals and feel less bad then someone putting piss up their dick.

Just drink lots of water, don't smoke anything. Go to a head shop and buy a drug test. Take the test yourself before your real test, if you fail, then you got into an accident on your way to the drug test and you have to reschedule.

Does not apply if one is in a position cocered by, say, the DOT (like a bus driver). Or if your job says "don't".

Buy fake piss. If not army no one will watch your dong.

And if it is the army, they will watch your dong while they pass your piss test for you.

get clean pee and put it in a condom, then put said condom in your anus. pull out condom when time to do test.

will pass pat downs and keep warm. unless they film you peeing in it, will be fine.

> Cranberry Juice. Drink at least 32oz/day. The kind that says 100% juice, not that 'juice beverage' or 'juice cocktail' shit that's only 15% juice and mostly water. Avoid HFCS coz that's counterproductive to getting shit out of your system.

Also excercise, like a lot. You wanna flush out all ur fluids so sweating is good & peeing a lot is good.

This my bro did this. 64 ounces of cranberry and 64 ounces of water for 3 days.

Are you so addicted to your weed that it is worth doing all this shit and still probably losing your job?

It's sounds like you're saying - also don't exercise and drink as much water. Unless you're trying to say that

>Your poor stoners out there exercising and drinking healthy drinks and water.

The things we do to get high. You probably drink until you throw up on yourself.

Passed 3 swabs by swishing peroxide and listerine night before and before test. Dabbed within 12 hrs of test

Oil and vinegar

Interesting if true.

just buy fale piss from a tobacco shop i have used them several times to get my jobs

every tobacco shop sells it inb4 which ones

DUDE WEED LMAO

Stop smoking weed like a degenerate, simple.

If you stop smoking now you should be fine, but drink a lot of Powerade/Gatorade just in case

hailmaryjane.com/10-ways-to-pass-a-drug-test/

No thanks

Standard nonsensical defensive stoner response

I wonder if you realize how many people around you secretly smoke weed.

Switch to heroin until day after test. Win.

forum.grasscity.com/threads/niacin-in-powerade-10.150662/

I used to smoke weed actually, funny how you assume I'm saying that because you think I've never smoked weed.

If people at work knew about my personal life and people in my personal life knew about my work, major conflict in both directions.

What about that is nonsensical? Most people don't drink?

Don't try any of the quick fixes. The only way to 100% pass is to be clean. Drink half unsweetened 100% cranberry juice, and half water. Drink a shit ton of it. I've been able to detox in less than 3 days with this method. Unless you are a daily smoker and have been for over a year then you should be able to get cleaned out in 7-10 days max.

Most people dont throw up on themselves though do they, there's a difference between that and drinking.

Good for you, I didn't assume that.

imma smoke rn jus because

There's a difference between smoking weed and being a degenerate addict as well.

You obviously did. Its OK, its your delusional stoner brain, its not your fault.

What if regular user of reggie?

Maybe you spend more time studying

I honestly believe it, I bet you could get some Everclear and swish it around for a long time. With a few rinses there would be no trace in your mouth if you did it after 6 - 8 hours and right before the test.

It's an oil so that's what they're testing for.

Alrighty, retarded alcoholic.

must suck to live your life, I can see someone didnt have a very merry christmas

study and smoke EZ

Study high, take test high, get high grades.

This is now a stoner thread, since it's loaded with haters.

One cup apple cider vinegar
One cup lemon juice
Four cups cranberry juice

All 100% juice. Mix and fill to top with filtered water in a gallon jug. Repeat 2 gallons per day for at least 3 days

You're welcome.

...

THE OIL CHANGE
564

You're both so thick.
Go Google peroxide.

Have used this method multiple times and have always pissed clean.
>Morning of drug test
>Mix 1 full packet of Certo Jell with a 320z bottle of gatorade filled with water
>shake the fuck out of that bitch for 2-3 minutes
>Drink all of it
>it will taste like absolute shit
>After that start punding bottles of water, but not to much to make you sick.
>first 2 pisses will be hot
>everything after that will be squeaky clean for the next 8 hours

>peroxide
Everclear would be a better cleanser than peroxide.

The salt is real ITT

You think it would kill you to swish around some diluted peroxide? It obviously wouldn't, my grandma used to pour that shit into open wounds.

>32oz
my bad

Ok. You're an idiot and probably knew a drug test was coming but chose to use anyways. I'm going to help, mainly because I'm bored as hell. 1.) Abstain from ALL drugs from here on out, besides for an rx that's prescribed to YOU! 2.) Exercise and eat clean for the next 10 days. 3.) Drink copious amounts of water (at least a gallon per day, and a gallon before you take your test), urinate at least two to three times before your test, last time within minutes of said test preferably.

This usually works, if you fail it....honestly it's your own fault.

Best of luck, faggot.

I think it's more because it kills bacteria, I would do it a few hours before the test. Just long enough to not smell it.

This, and dip lots of chewing tobacco. Changes the alkaline in your mouth caused by cannabis.

Stop smoking weed for one
Drink a lot of water and exercise to sweat

Right before your test drink like a gallon of water so when you piss it's diluted and clear as water.

mark defranco

Dont smoke at all until then, i know it sucks.
Next, buy a bottle of water and a gatorade.
Then buy some packets of fruit pectin or the powder form. Its used for canning fruit.
idk the science behind it, but before your test drink the water, pee it out. Then pour a packet or a decent amount into the gatorade. Lime flavor is the best since the fruit pectin is tart. Drink that pee it out into your test.
Make sure not to use the start of your stream, and goodluck.

I second the oil change

Okay dude, here's a 100% foolproof way to clean your system out. I and several friends have used this method.

Go to a sauna (there should be one at the YMCA if you're near one). Go in there and wait until you're drenched in sweat, jump in a pool to get the sweat off of you, and repeat. You'll have to do this for 3-6 hours, sadly, but your system will be clean as hell. Oh yeah, and make sure to constantly drink water. Cranberry juice will also help since it's a diuretic

Good luck, Sup Forumsrother

Hella water and exercise and saunas and anything thatll make you sweat.

Leave the drugs alone you stupid f****** pothead

you can't be sure this will work. some of your own urine could mix and depending on who is drug testing you the cutoff rates for various drugs could be pretty low.

Anyone know of any decent UK construction firms that don't drug test management/professionals? I've got an interview coming up for Skanska, on the one hand pleased as they apparently pay the highest for professionals but on the other they seem quite keen on random drug testing according to their website.

for the first 30 days pre employment they inject your blood with nanobots that will report any drugs entering your bloodstream instantly.

do they really watch your dong the whole time?

>2016
>Taking an oil change seriously.

I'm going to say it's random, it's more likely they won't want to watch your dong. There's always fake dongs.

you probably smoke until you fall asleep in a pile of dorite crumbs. it's still just as shameful.

Just went through MEPS the other week, and yes they do watch your dong the entire time.

Currently on clonazolam and 3-meo-pcp. Not really sure what I expected from this combo but I'm losing my grip nontheless.

Does anyone else have experience mixing benzos and dissos?

Mixing benzos with nearly anything is fun, especially shrooms.

Niacin (B3 vitamine) less than 75 mg per day.

Okay Thad, Id rather use a Pee Vac though

Yo but seriously.
I wouldn't have smoked if I had known there would be a surprise opening :(

Get clean piss from some kid, turkey baster into bladder through urethra, as close to test time as possible

making yourself sweat does not cleanse drugs out of your system you FUCKING IDIOT.

Or you don't smoke so much youre retarded, and you don't drink until you throw up.

Which normal people do.

Well I've always used benzos to kill my trips, since it does a damn good job at doing that. But I feel like there might be some special synergy between 3meo and benzos but it hasn't quite taken hold yet. I'm moving forward cautiously and I lose sense of my mind. 12mg 3-meo might have been too much.

did you turn your head back to stare at the guy while you pissed?

well we can't all fucking be normies

yeah MXE and etizolam but i can't really remember the experiences. and every other time i tried MXE it was unpleasant except for the first few minutes of rush when i put loads of it in my butt on a few occasions.

>kek
no, we all stood shoulder to shoulder and he stood at the end of the line watching everyone. I was the only one that could actually do it the first round through.

Actually excessive exercise will release thc from fat

I smoke about a gram a time, no more than once a week, up to three times a month. It's one of life's little pleasures and I really don't want to give it up.

As a low/moderate smoker how long do you reckon it would stay in my piss? Anyone here smoke similar amounts, undergone testing and passed?

And Red Bull. And alcohol. Kill your liver

Never got to try MXE. DCK is my absolute favorite at the moment. Very versatile. 3-meo just has too many side affects but I'm hoping this combo brings it to a better spot. I know benzos generally cancel out any dissos/triptamines/lysergamides etc, but who knows.

I wish DCK was cheaper and the doses were lower. 3-meo is good on a budget since it's more potent but doesn't seem worth it so far. Low dose DCK and hole DCK are some of my favorite things.