Whats the worst thing you have ever done at any job and got away with?

Whats the worst thing you have ever done at any job and got away with?

>worked for comcast resetting shitty people's routers several times a day, passwords and all.

>Worked at Sears auto for a few months
>Customers were total fuck pricks
>often took money or random items I found in cars
>once took 20$ and never got caught

Petty theft.

Stole a case of whipped cream to get high off of, stole a skull from an office

Oh and once or twice I brought a bong to work because I was going to be sitting in a truck counting trucks all day

worked at supermarket type place, probably stole thousands of dollars worth of stock over 6 or so years

>I worked at a movie theater one summer
>We weren't supposed to drink any of the soda
>I took a cup of soda on break with me once

Call the cops idgaf

>took an extra long lunch break
>end of break, sitting in the bathroom trying to find a vein to shoot heroin into
>fire alarms go off
>fucking fire alarm is broken again
>keep looking for vein
>eventually find one and wander out of the bathroom
>hall is filled with smoke
>there's really a major fire
>building filled with panicky people and fire fighters
>my coworker is at the desk alone and we're it since it's after hours
>no one after found i was taking way too much time to shoot dope while the building burned
>handled it great afterwards and gots tons of praise
>toppestkek

Worked at a popular home inprovement store before the housing crash. Pallets of cement, block, mortar, all could be loaded onto your flatbed truck via forklift for a $200 tip by me. Thanks sucka

...

People like you should be shot

Usually came in drunk and drank on the job at a mental health facility. Never got caught but got fired for being a lazy ass and not entering notes.

One time when we were doing nothing (in the woods) I just kind of wandered off for a little hike. Got completely lost and had like 20 min to get back to the truck. Heard the sound of traffic so I ran towards it and realized I was two concessions from where I needed to be. Ran my ass off until I was just within visual range of the truck, stopped to a fast walking pace, red face, totally exhausted. Pretty sure I was going to get fired.

Boss just said get in the truck and all was well.

>finished work duties early
>just wandering around building when it hits me
>extremely horny and need to fap
>the kind of horny that is so out of control you just have to fap to the most extreme shit possible
>get into some random building resident's wifi
>install orbot and orweb on my phone
>get on tor
>etc etc etc you know what i did.

I think you need some therapy

>Domino's driver
>Keep a list of everyone who doesn't tip
>Spit in their food next time they order
>Been doing this for years

I haVE BEEN FUCKINBG your dD

When I was much younger, I worked at Stop & Shop and frequently took 20s from my register, and for some time stole CCC and Robotussin and shit from the pharmacy and ate/drank it on my break.

I managed to get away with this, only being confronted once or twice about the register coming up short, due to really shit management.

I cut tags off of pillows

>worked at subway
>put up the chairs on the tables so people pulling up thought we were closed
>finished closing duties and hour early and smoked a doobie with my 16 year old coworker on the clock(he had a kid at 15 and carried a gun with him. Cool ass kid tho)
>before I quit I ate a ton of shit throughout the day just because this fucks squeduled me 4hour shifts
>oh yeah weed is illegal here but no one gives

came on sexually aggressive to a female coworker. She blew me but I am not sure even today how consensual it actually was. Kept doing it to other coworkers. Went back to school and when I returned the following summer I was asked to come in for a "talk". declined and never went back.

Worked from home and got my employer to believe that 3 hours worth of work was 8.

MOOOOOODS!

By the way, I was making $13 an hour so I effectively stealing $65 a day.

You fucking sick psycho

>worked for your mom
>shitty males in her life made her feel like a failure
>gave her the D but she was always a bad lay
>got her to take shits on pictures of your face op so that was the silver lining.

violently stripped the socks from a patient's feet

I pissed on your dad

Maybe you should just get a better job, fat boy. No one has to give you shit.

i worked for mcdonalds and fucked both your sisters.

you are clearly the worst person in this thread. How do you sleep at night?

Kek

First sales job a retail store I'd go drink at lunch quite a bit.
Moved to car audio installs and would go through peoples shit quite a bit (some 16 year old had a bunch of dildos and beads and shit in her car.)
Computer job after that, I'd take home old laptops and IT stuff.

>work at Ceramic Salon, everything for bathrooms and toilets
>stay late after my shift
>have to poop but someone's already in toilet
>go to warehouse
>unpack toilet seat
>sit on it and drop my load
>pack it up with duct tape very good
>see there's a notification it's reserved for someone
>fuck, nevermind
>2 days later
>2 of my colleagues got fired cause both claimed they didn't do it but it was their shift

>supervising external building facade work
>this involves sitting in peoples empty apartments for hours on end, because the residents don't trust trust the filthy construction mexicans and demand we keep watch (manhattan millionaire building so they get what they want)
>wandering around this one womans apartment
>in bedroom, she's got a topless pic of herself from when she was preggers mounted on the wall
>lay down on her bed and fap

i could have stolen tens of thousands of dollars if i was just slightly more evil. i had the residential master keys and was left alone all day

big money hustla

>thinks tipping isn't mandatory

niceeee

Either,
>work front desk of sports bar, renting games and answering the phone, setting up tvs for sports
>games went on timers
>timers not connected to cash register
>tell customer their total for 2 hours, punch 1 hour on register
>make 100-500 dollar daily doing this
3 or 4 different employees made sure i knew how to do this on my first shift

Lesser evil
>took second job during xmas at canadian tire
>selling xmas lights and trees, other sections did way more work then us
>summer display window has been curtained off
>notice comfy couches and lawnchairs
>take a phone with me and start taking naps untl i get a call asking about stock

Well, did you cum?

somehow i was the only person to figure out a really obvious exploit that had been going on for who knows how long before i was hired by [retail giant]. there were these coupons that functioned as cash for the store. everyone assumed they were one-time use, like every other type of coupon. they weren't, i found out in a bout a boredom.

got away with hundreds of dollars in stuff. i set it up to look like an accidental discovery too. "hey mike, i think i just used this coupon twice?? that was weird", and i just left it there.

pretty soon all my coworkers are using em (almost all of them were chill, one of the few good things about that job). managers don't know shit about what's going on but they're freaking out, and no one says anything. we use customer numbers for rewards accounts so they don't know it's us.

the store's run like shit cause the GM is an idiot, we were always understaffed so the other managers were always too busy to actually manage, and our policies on how to handle basically everything are total shit. so this exploit goes on for months. eventually, they give in, and have the entire system, of an entire nationwide chain, updated just cause of this incredibly obvious exploit.

in total, it easily cost the store thousands, who know what the update cost, and it got the shit gm replaced.

of course, the higher ups wanted someone fired, not just replaced, and they knew an employee had to be involved. so they fired the most autistic of us. sorry Cheetostain McAsscrack, but you didn't have to go full retard and use it at other stores with your own mother's tax exempt card.

gloriously. in this wonderful telecom closet packet with infrastructure level fiber hardware.

>making such little money that you actually need others to give you money
>implying tipping shouldn't be a gesture of good will

I worked at Autozone and we gayfucked your dad, and we creampied your mom

Pretty sure every person ever who works from home does this.

>delivery boy
>ride a bicycle and carrying shit load of takeaway
>too lazy to go the other way to get to the building
>"fuck this shit I will just go between all these cars here"
>scratched all the car there on my way to the building
>fucking ching chong ninja so nobody knows I fucked up

crushed some guy's foot under a marble mold.

the guy was an asshole, but didn't deserve that. he was pissed at me, but happy because the company had to pay him disability. that company screwed me over so many ways, even though it sucked for that guy, my fuck up really cost them some money.

Related questions: If I tip on my card do you see that?

Everyone in this thread is pleb tier, G rated levels of "worst thing you have ever done at work" i expected more from Sup Forums

>work for conservation authority in forestry
>$2 000 000 yearly budget
>don't need more than $500 000
>buy tractors and all kinds of shit because if you come up short on your budget they'll just decrease it
>drive hours to a site
>spend all day doing nothing
>drive back
Even got some OT in there.

Used to work at a K-mart walked out the front door with a PlayStation one and like 8 games

i'm american so i've never had a job.

our economy is shit and i don't feel like working at mcdonalds when i literally have a 4 year college degree

Top kek

They works for tips. It's as simple as that. If it were otherwise the service would be poor.

Shut up.

>Working at Walmart.

>Pulling a 1.5 ton pallet.

>Took a turn too fast and the pallet crashed 3 inches in front of a kid

>Manager finds out and helps to clean up

>Manager never finds out that I almost erased a child

>Fired with a rehire recommendation.

>sitting at front desk during quiet hours in middle of night
>have computer that controls the elevators
>decide to fuck with annoying coworker, who's 40 stories up
>radio him and find out exact floor
>every time he pushes the elevator button, i just cancel the call
>keep doing this over and over
>tell him it must be broken, but i can't leave to desk to go for reset so sorry
>keep cancelling the calls until he gives up and walks down all 40 stories
>"oh it never came? i'll call the elevator company"
>jackass

Curiosity bump

Worked at a controlled substance destruction facility where we counted and incinerated near expired drugs. Place had no cameras. Needless to say I had everything imaginable and turned out 5k a week selling them. GHB, Percocets, oxy, medical cocaine, etc. Maybe they should of paid above minimum wage.

dude that's like my dream job

>work on christmas market selling hot wine
>drunk all the time
>steal around 500€ in the 4 weeks of the market from the register

good times... being drunk all the time hitting on tipsy customers who loved it

I used to work in a subway in downtown New York. Decided to cum in the mayo sauce multiple times.

No one ever complained about the taste.

How does one acquire such a position?

From the local Labor Ready in the area of one

>Worked at huge furniture warehouse with best mate
>Huge ass warehouses, multiple locations
>Greasy ass Greek cunt for a boss
>Pretty certain I broke at least 1 item a day
>Would have mate drive me on LO Picker while I just punched shit
>Few times threw tallboys and bedsides of 5-6 meter high racking at offsite warehouses

How far downtown?

you fucking dingus. I've worked in warehouses before and if I pulled that shit the wouldn't be any recommendation for rehire. Motherfucker I saw a man lose his livelyhood for dropping a sinlgle box.

I got it though a temp agency. Name of the agency was Adecco

found the nigger

...

>Working at my job 6 years now.
>Boss trusts me so is never around.
>Union, so idiot policies.
>Realize i can get done in 2 hours what took some shmuck 12 hours to do.
>Spend 10 hours of every working day for the last 4 years in a hidden hole that luckily gets reception with Sup Forums and some other parts of the interweb.
>Been caught twice by my boss and he didnt care, he saw all my shit was done

>Security guard at Hyundai plant

>Working 12 hours on Sunday

>Literally no one there but me and the other guard

>She's pretty decent looking, for a black chick

>Walk from my guard booth to hers

>We bullshit for half an hour

>She goes to the bathroom, leaves door cracked

>She says "Come here for a minute"

>She's got her panties around her knees rubbing her pussy

>Proceed to bend her over the sink and fuck her raw

>Paranoid as fuck for weeks that she's pregnant

Don't remember the exact address. Near Central park and a clinic

Worked for the colonel, stole the original recipe spice packets and made that shit at home.

Work at a nonprofit now and "steal time" regularly.

not that guy, but it legally isn't. Your employer is required to pay you minimum wage of you don't make it via tips. most non- retarded people can make over minimum wage with tips, so take that into account. personally i always tip and be polite to me servets and drivers, but your argument is potato

You fucked up.

I love you. You're exactly the reason why my well off Uncle and his vet wife are living in fucking la la land thinking Ethical disposal of medication is a matter of common sense.

Supply and demand control the migration of goods and services - not the whims of the advantaged who've had good fortune in their lives.

coworker shouldn't have been such a jackass.

racism is alive in well even in buildings full of rich new yorkers, half the staff was black but not a single was was allowed to be alone and in charge with full authority over everything in a huge highrise, including access to everyone's apartment. not a nigger job.

>Worked part time at lumber yard while I was in school
>2x2 pieces of wood are frail as post ww2 germany
>Sometimes would gently snap the wood on weak points without customers knowing
>Bundle dozens of broken wood in with couple of good ones

>Same lumber yard
>Unscrew air caps on tires
>Place small pebble inside air cap so they don't close completely
>The air slowly leaks out over time
>Know that some guy is gonna get 3 flat tires down the road in 20 minutes

actually, I think Rockfeller university was just around the corner.

i also broke an old dead woman's finger during an embalming procedure.

>worked at a pizza joint
>Rent to own place with copier next door
>Unspoken agreement, free breadsticks for copies
>One day, the charge for copies, despite getting breadsticks
>Declare unspoken war
>Piss in and on their dumpster
>Ram our adjoining week with a broomstick when our restaurant was empty
>Piss on their back door handle
>Piss in pipes coming out of their room
>Shit on their roof

Nah, she turned up not pregnant and I turned up HIV- so I got away with that one.

Not me but I had a bro that
>Worked at a bar/cafe
>Too many managers working there
>They would always go on unnecessary witch hunts and firing sprees to feel useful
>Bro is a programmer
>finds a bug in the POS
>certain amounts of certain items cause the wrong menus to appear
>going back and forth several times will cause a stack overflow
>Will send order to the back and could be canceled after receipt was printed.
>No record of transaction but looks legit
>shows 2 of his friends how to do it
>Goes on for 6 months
>The sales show something is wrong, witch hunt ensues
>they just auto fire people they were going to fire anyway
>never find out its him

Dude was a legend.

Thats hot. You didnt take a pic did you?

Your welcome user. I serviced many who did not have insurance. Even shot a syringe of diazepam in some hot chicks ass. Feels good mang

wahh wahh they work for a job that pays 2 an hour while niggers and throwing boxes around at ups for 10 an hour. servers are retarded. they think theyre slaves but they just dont know how to do anything else and too lazy and uptight to learn, fucking manbabies.

whoa

>work as security guard at PG&E in oakland
>me and the other guy never do rounds
>nothing to steal
>do homework
>don't know what he does
>finish my homework
>decide to do my job for a change
>walk around the side of the building
>he's getting a blowjob from a hooker
>he nonchalantly asks me if i want one
>no, thanks
>turns out every night he lets hookers turn tricks in a corner of the yard for blowjobs
>he waits for them to get a trick
>unlocks the gate
>locks them in
>waits 10 minutes
>lets them out
>been doing this for years

this is why I don't have my pizza delivered. I just do carry out.

No.. damn i should have tho i guess. i mean she was like 7/10 tops but still

...

Drank a 5th of whiskey before work, boss said i did a fantastic job. No one suspected me of being drunk.

I work at a machine shop and I steal shit on a daily basis. I've got a 55 gallon drum filled with just chains and shackles that I've slipped off with

Received a blowjob from a resident of the nursing home I work at. She is 82 but has dementia and thinks shes 25. I put a load in her mouth!

I always tip $6+

Yeah, being a security guard is boring as fuck. I don't think a week went by that I didn't jack off in the bathroom

Teeth?

Where did you cum

Nope not a one.

dude that's worse than murder

Worked for 3 years as an orderly in the female wing of an institution for mentally challenged youth (ages 11-18yo).
Got laid, or got my dick sucked, by the residents 3 or 4 times per week the entire time I worked there.
I really miss that job.

When I fucked the black chick, I busted in her. When I whacked off I generally had a piece of TP ready then just flushed it