Roll for your jewish wife, Sup Forums

Roll for your jewish wife, Sup Forums.
Also worst sexual experiences thread. Go.

8===D

>be 18
>now-ex gf 16
>eating her out on my couch
>she didn't shave but usually wasn't so bad
>but this one time, i smelled something kind of fecal
>feeling kind of sick
>i look down
>pea-sized ball of poop stuck to the pubes on her inner thigh
>i fucking wretch
>what's wrong user
>nothing, just got a hair in my mouth brb
>run to bathroom
>vomit profusely
>come back
>sorry i'm sick can we do this some other time
>it never happens again but it's still the first thing that comes to mind when i think about her years later

0 or 8 get

Here's hoping I don't get the Sheogorath that is #6

>September 2015
>Spent a week in jail thanks to going Manic and making some dumb decisions
>First thing I do when I get out is hit up my boy Zach to smoke weed and get hammered because fuck the system
>Invites me to his beta gf's dorm at the University of Toronto for a party
>Get there, drinks are had, the weed is lit
>Hipster indie Tumblr SJW studying Gender & Sexuality studies comes through to the party
>I study Sociology but even I'm not that retarded
>Still Manic af so I'm over excited and flirting with practically everybody there, Tumblr hoe takes a liking to me
>Really nice tits and a thicc ass so you know I start getting comfortable
>She's down for the succ
>We don't fuck that night but the next night when it's party rd. 2, fucked her raw but didn't come inside I just finished on her tits instead
>We become fuck buddies because she's 'Polyamorous' so I made her ditch her Super-Beta cuck of a bf to constantly be my bootycall
>Gives the greatest head I've ever had in my life so being a douchebag to her was absolutely worth it
>Didn't know what being a slut felt like until now and I gotta say it's pretty nice
>After multiple fucks, eventually convince her to try Anal with me after she says she's done it and she likes it
>Foreplay, shit's sensual, we got Drake playing because unfortunately I'm a rapper/producer
>But pretending to be Black in 2016 gets you laid easily if you're not White

Here's where it goes downhill boys, this was my worst sexual experience:
>Stick it in her pooper
>Absurdly tight and no amount of lube is helping
>Clearly obvious she's never done anal before
>Ask her why she's so uncomfortable
>"I haven't taken a dick this big before in there"
>I'm honestly a 5.5" so idek what in the FUCK she's talking about
>"Don't stop though."
>Felt amazing at the time but I didn't realize my dick was getting friction burns
>Finish hard in her ass so it's filled with cum to the brim
>She starts crying

roll

>"You remind me of one of my ex's but not in a bad way."
>She gives me these crazy eyes as she licks my cock clean
>It all makes sense now, she clearly has mental issues and the fact she's never taken it up the ass before made this feel like it wasn't consensual anymore
>Make up some excuse to leave and that I'll call her tomorrow
>Never call her again, block her on Facebook
>She starts texting me all this depression shit about how she cut herself and she's crying because I won't talk to her
>Tell her I'm sorry and that I'd love to see her
>"Okay, my parents are out of the house, come over tonight?"
>Tell her to fuck off and to genuinely leave me alone this time over text

I find out a couple weeks later from my boy Zach's gf (who fucking hates me now) that the girl was genuinely upset and actually cutting herself. Do I care? Not really tbh, she's the polyamorous slut that decided to leave her cuck-ex so she could fuck other guys, I wasn't the only one slamming that. I don't talk to Zach anymore but he's still my nigga, he's a ride or die 100%

I'm not gonna lie though guys, if you find someone who is phenomenal at sex but has a shitty personality otherwise, it's totally okay and 100% worth it to stay in it for the sex. I haven't had sex as good as her from anyone else and it feels terrible being spoiled like that. She was borderline a porn-star the way she sucked dick, omg.

#7

Why do Jewish girl get all obsessed with uncut cock?
What is so special about foreskin?

Oh jesus, I guess I could learn to love one of these yentahs. Worst was taking a girls virginity...in the bathroom. :(

they see me

6 get

Haha, got four! She's got some kinky fuck-me eyes going. I accept.

roll

they love cut cock actually, can't resist something 10% off

uhh

trips get

I hope 0

0 or 8 plz

roll

Would fuck all, yes i am desperate;)

dead jesus pleze