ITT: We name a super power we have but there's a huge flaw in it

ITT: We name a super power we have but there's a huge flaw in it

>Omnilingualism

you're mute

You're mute and have no other way to communicate but sign language

>Can teleport

>the ability to have a cup whenever you need it

I can pass through solid matter, but only for 20 seconds on the third Wednesday of June on a leap year.

you can only teleport when your parents are having sex

but the cups always dirty
Can only teleport 1 cm

Always blisteringly hot

Where you go is entirely random, and considering most of the universe is empty space, you'll probably die.

>read minds

can't control it and can't tune out other's thoughts

You read everyone's mind at once every time.

>Suicide bomb

But their voice is projected on D major

But only squirrel minds

can only bomb yourself when no one is around

>read minds
But only the minds of retards and autists

>the ability to turn water into alcohol

You're not muslim so you don't get 72 virgins

Only destroys what you care about.

Can fly

You can't turn it off and die of alcohol poisoning.

>the ability to control people's emotions at will

but only with your eyes closed

>except your own

you can become instantly invisible but only to women

The alcohol is really shitty quality, lots of contaminants and tastes terrible.

The ability to have no super power.

every hour

>energy manipulation

but only 2 feet off the ground

this post is inconspicuously deep

infinite stamina.

Every detail in your vision is heightened by a factor of at least 10, and you are able to notice things faster and more accurately than others.

>you can't turn this power off
>you can see bullets coming but you can't react fast enough if it is going to hit you
>daily mundane tasks become 10x harder
>you cannot explain how the world looks to other people

but only the energy contained in farts

but only when trying to get the last log of shit out of your anus

Only when you're really angry.

Think about it, you'd never get to use it for anything constructive. You'd only ever use it to make whoever you're mad at feel terrible.

I can work with that

Can only use said energy to power toasters

>can jump really high

But only while screaming at the same time

Perfect mimicry.
Any sound, people, animals, machinery, etc

but you're constantly in pain

You're disabled also.

Ha! I know I have that power.

still gets hurt when you hit the ground

only underground

You can speak any language, but can't tell which language you're speaking at any given time.

The molecules of your body disperse in one location and reconstitute in another.

In effect, it seems to be teleportation. What you've actually done is create a perfect copy to replace you, while the real "you" is atomized every time you teleport. You probably would never realize that you're not the "you" you were when you first gained your power.

And an inability to have a cup any time you WANT one.

Other people's thoughts filter into your mind, indistinguishable from your own. Being around other human beings results in a tangled web of thoughts skittering through your mind, and a lingering doubt as to whose thoughts are whose. Particularly crowded areas can send you into spasms as your mind is unable to hold the collective thoughts of so many human beings.

You can turn water into a specific alcohol: Pentaerythritol.
White, solid, crystalline, and totally inedible. The conversion rate is shitty, too.

an inability to feel hunger or thirst from your ceaseless metabolic taxation. You'll have to force yourself to remember to eat and drink, and will undoubtedly suffer health complications from chronic dehydration.

you'll break your ankles.

can only speak in animal

Only able to use racial slurs in those languages
>even in truck noises

The ability to ressurect people/animals from the dead

The ability to see the future.
>You can't change the future

But only if you fuck them first

Their souls are replaced with that of Lyndon B. Johnson

The ability to stop time
>Time also stops for you

By having sex with their corpse.

The ability to make things magnetic, regardless of their material composition.

Fuck beat me to it.

You're bad at this

You're fingers are permanently magnetic as well, you'll never be able to use a smartphone again

You're also a giant magnet. Still not for chicks though. Never for chicks.

Being good at naming superpowers that would have huge flaws in them
>Everyone hates you for supplying the consequence in the same reply

It turns out you actually can't, but everyone feels sorry for you for being totally delusional so they just play along

feels

The ability to teach preschoolers integral calculus.

Can obtain (You)'s

can kill 4chin cancer

Shit

does that mean someone would kill themselves because they felt sorry for you

but they only appear as (OP)'s

They're better at it than you.

But every (You) takes a year of your life away.

No he's not

but someone else rolls trips

the alcohol is water flavored

but only as high as yo can jump for 1 second

Good point

Looks like you already have this power.

You can breathe in space.

How is this a bad thing

...

can't walk

doesn't work while erect

also poor

you forget what your original voice sounded like. You'll forever have to get by using other people's voices.

inability to heal or repair their bodies would result in them dying instantly every time you tried.

you can't control how powerful the magnetism is, resulting in space-distorting magnetic fields that end life on Earth

but an inability to teach them arithmetic or algebra, resulting in them learning a rote and bizarre un-calculus

but everyone calls you a newfag you fucking newfag

You don't get how this works

Your body is still subject to the vacuum of space, as well as cosmic radiation.

The ability to have consensual sex in he missionary position for the sole purpose of reproduction.

Being a troll
>Actually, there's no real consequence to this power

the ability to turn invisible but only in a pitch black room

You can will any girl you want to fall head-over heels in love with you, and she WILL have sex with you.

god still hates you

>by yourself

Your testicles don't produce any viable sperm.

and also you have AIDS?
you're not supposed to give a downside to your own power, user

The ability to make dank memes

She will have AIDS.

You're full on fire island gay

She eats you after.

She has a dick

But that girl is only in your imagination

But your body will still be affected by vacum

>Can find anything someone lost

There is an anime literally about this, OP. And it's fucking hilarious.
>The Disastrous Life of Saiki K.

Yea, but you get stapled to a plank of wood and a bunch of faggots worship you for thousands of years
>cloning powers

She will rapidly get fat and turn into a fleshy breeding machine before you can stop her

It's always inside your dick hole.

but it'll always appear inside your anus