Ok Sup Forums I'm really fucking freaking out right now.
I just heard a window break downstairs, followed by loud footsteps, my phone is downstairs and I'm by myself, locked in my room with the lights off. I'm in the closet right now and on my laptop.
Is there any way to call the police from my computer? If I stop responding I have either died or the police got here.
prolly bait but how about you contact one of your facebook/other social media friends?
yell that you're gonna fuck him in the ass long dick style.
no
>good luck
no one is on right now, I barely ever go on facebook and have only a few friends who are all asleep right now
This is why people own guns
Google it
Take off all your clothes and run at them. You'll either take them by surprise or be killed immediately. Pretty much a win-win.
I'm in Canada, we don't really have guns, so whoever the fuck just broke into my house probably doesn't have one either
So get your gun and go confront the intruder. Faggot.
Just give them what they want, but be prepared it may be your innocence.
Tyrone has arrived to fuck your girl
Bye OP
Go into bathroom, grab shampoo, mix into cup or bowl with boiling hot water from tap, throw in face. riperino.
Funny how you had time to post on Sup Forums
THEIR UPSTAIRS NOW FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
Very shortly op, yes....
Dubs and you have to face them
Dubs and you have to approach them naked
grab pointy object
fight
or die
post results of your glorious last stand
Canadians have mountains of glorious russian milsurp. You have no one but yourself to blame for being unarmed.
THE FOOTSTEPS ARE IN PAIRS OF FOUR IT SOUNDS LIKE A FUCKING ANIMAL
Yep you done goofed OP
>grab pointy object
>op
>stab them with needle dick
>plant the c4.
IM GOING TO FUCKING DIE Sup Forums, GOODBYE AND THANKS FOR FUCKING NOTHING
That's honestly better than it being a human. If it's anything but a literal fucking grizzly bear you could scare it off. Then again you claim to be Canadianfag...
Im in canada too, maybe numale faggots who wear skinny jeans and flannel button up shirts in toronto dont own guns but where im from every young buck has a PAL and at least an sks or some deer rifle in .30 cal
I DONT HAVE FORTY DAYS
bump
...
burgulars normally run if someones home, just shout real loud, who is that
Use your laptop as a weapon smash it over their head as hard as you can dont fucking stop smashing it either go full apeshit
it depends where you live in canada
Burn down your house...it'll stop them from doing you harm or stealing your things...this is the only solution.
ITS POUNDING ON THE DOOR WITH HANDS BUT IT WALKS ON ALL FOURS...
not op. op is kill
Finally a fellow Spiderus poster. Should I dump my collection?
NIGGA JUST GTFO THE WINDOW RISK IT FUCKER
IT JUST MADE THIS GODAWFUL DEAFANING SCREECH MAYBE A NEIGHBOR HEARD IT AND WOKE UP BUT I HAVE A FEELING IM ABOUT TO BE MAULED TO DEATH
PICS OP PICS!
Op is fag
>Oh no someone broke into my house
>Better go post about it on Sup Forums
Enjoy your incoming darwin award
its just a host op they make a ghost noises noises but theyre not real go back to bed
Shit my man. Try meditating as a last ditch effort? Imagine yourself surrounded by some glow white mist. People use that to ward off bad shit, so if it aint human you good. At least youll die looking zen as shit.
>someone broke into my house and im just sitting here shitposting reaction faces as they have their way with my homes supple cheeks
>cuck
Trips of truth
Jesus
Come out fapping.
OP IS DED
>someone breaks into house
>asks Sup Forums for help
You should kill yourself before it gets to you.
Post pics of an hero plz for teh kekz
You have time to find all these images to go with your posts? GTF out of here
*They're
>someone breaks in
>First reaction is to post a thread on Sup Forums
If this isnt bait, if you survive go get checked for autism.
Op is kill
Give us your address so we can call the cops
Post pic of your dick