Alright Sup Forums i'm brand new to the world of escorts and i need some tips

Alright Sup Forums i'm brand new to the world of escorts and i need some tips

Pro tip: Don't delve into the world of escorts.

protip: give them money and they'll touch your penis.

more pics

post titssssssss

Paying for or getting paid to be?

ill be your pimp if your in alabama

I'm on Sup Forums the fuck do you think?

bump

i need a place to find actually attractive women and back page women are gross

Op here this is why im asking I was gonna say I was joking but it doesn't matter now. I've never had a gf or even so much as kissed a girl. I'm 27 year old lver weight kissless virgin living with my alcoholic bitch mom who blames me for her divorce and tells me to get a job or get the fuck out of her house everday. I've never had more than one friend and since highschool I've had none. My only friend through school was my cousin who only hung out with me out of pitty. All of his friends used to make fun of me for being fat and dirty. I was picked on relentlessly through out highschool, I eventually learned to isolate myself in my room with only my lap top and my teddy bear. All I have is reddit. This is where I come for comfort. I like to think you people are my friends because I have nobody else. I've never even seen boobs that weren't digital. I never even been close to a girl. I sat in the corner crying my senior prom because I was a fucking loser without a date. I don't know what I'm doing with my life I really don't. I'm sorry for trying to make a joke. I'm bad at everything anyways, at least that's what my mom tells me every night. Sorry.

nice try nigger

if girls dont find you handsome, they should find you handy.

also go to the gym

wow op im sorry to here that i would give you advice on hookers but i dont think they will fix your problem

You are off to a good start, you have the lying part down pat already.

time stamp tits or get the fuck out.

when autists try to pretend to be OP

Nice Reddit copy-pasta, nigger!

Ever thought so hard with your dick that you misinterpreted simple text and thought a dude was a chick? Fucking retards the lot of you

No, but you evidently have.

post your tits and we will help you bitch

Ah my bad user.

NEITHER.

read it again cum bucket

Why?
So I can see many more numerous times how stupid of a giant faggot you are?
I don't think so.

your mom suckles my cock and savors every drop of the milk.

With that type of body you can be only a 30 dolla cheap whore for niggas with aids.
2k escorts have a beautiful body sory for breaking your dream.

OP, here's the bulk of my escort knowledge.

1.) Be clean, good escorts don't want to fuck you if you are smelly.

2.) Be polite and gentlemanly. Talk to the escort like a person, not your waifu pillow.

3.) Do not discuss payment at the meeting, know the price she requested in her ad, have it ready in an unsealed envelope. When you arrive, simply leave it on the table/dresser while she is watching you. This is a criminal liability thing.

4.) If you are not physically in shape like a porn star, certainly don't expect the sex to be anything like you've seen in porn. Go to the gym, seriously bro, its worth it. Give it 2 months of doing it every day and you won't regret it.

5.) If she is trying to get you to say "money for sex" or anything of the like, if she overt about talking about prices in a street hooker fashion, split. The money you gave her when you showed up is a lesson on what a cop looks like.

6.) Always do incall, i.e. when you go to them.

7.) Seems obvious, but no weapons. Also, other than the payment and a bit of extra cash, bring nothing overtly valuable. Bring condoms, if you are particularly large or small, or you have allergies, bring the ones that work best for you.

8.) Stay away from backpage. Too many ghetto hookers masquerading as escorts with their pimp in the closet trying to rob you. Too many fake pictures. I have found good hookups on eros.com and if they service your city, perhaps you will too. The best site in my opinion is theeroticreview.com. You do have to pay to be on there.

9) Leave her a tip if she offered an enjoyable, uncomplicated, comfortable experience. 10-20% is appropriate.

10.) Most important rule: Don't Be Black

This is an expensive game, but if you are trying to get laid a couple times a month, it is cheaper than a girlfriend.

Mods

Dude i want tips on how to be a escort not how to get escorts... what do you think im retarded or something

Ayyyy someone that's actually helpful thanks

any other decent websites aside from eros?

Like i said, theeroticreview.com is really the best site. Reviews from others give you a real solid idea of what you are walking into.

thanks i guess...

Its not hard. Here are my rules for escorts:

1.) Be female. Be young and attractive. Love dick. Be comfortable getting fucked every possible way (even in the ass you prude).

2.) Don't be: black, ghetto, smelly, ugly, fat, or vapid.

3.) Put pictures on the internet.

4.) Register on theeroticreview.com and get fucked for a living.

Easy, surpised you couldnt figure that out.

NEVER EVER bareback anything unless you want STD's and AIDs. Latex condoms are your best protection.

Get STD tested regularly and take care of your body, show that in the pictures. I would only go for sporty girls that hit the gym because that was sign they are taking care of their bodies.

Create your own site and offer companionship services there, you can interview people ahead of time to weed out the bad ones.

Never EVER go with black men, they are abusive and often run off without paying.

yo lex?

I've never had an escort but my friend was one. She said that the number one thing to keep in mind is that the women are completely terrified the entire time they are meeting you for the first time - whether you might be a cop or whether you might beat them up, rob them, or murder them. So keep that in mind.

Know what HIV/AIDS is? Because this is how you get HIV/AIDS.

>Most important rule: Don't Be Black

Care to elaborate on this, you know, for science.

Untucking your dick is a good start

Make it all about them while being as sexy as you can, escorts and strippers arnt about being sexy so much as making the client feel like they are. Now show clit or d or gtfo

I've heard a lot it's common for black guys to be more aggressive with hookers than other demographics and they commonly leave without paying. But I'm not a hooker, so who knows.

bump

you start by tying the knot, and then you end it

post more pics

yup. I will post old photos and then end up jerking off

OP how about you try an app where you can just hook up with bitches?

Best advice on the thread