ITT: Greentext stories

ITT: Greentext stories
>be me
>gorillaz fan
>live in a nice little house
>sucessful job
>there are teenage girls next door
>they play horrible songs such as "juju on that beat" and party every saturday

>ff to yesterday
>girls playing "sweatshirt" by jacob satorius
>grab laptop
>make earrape version of "Clint Eastwood" by the gorillaz
Many computers have a thing where you can connect to devices wirelessly and play music and other things. My laptop turns out to have that too.
>they have wireless speakers
>connect to speakers
>play "Clint Eastwood" earrape edition
>screams come out of house
>"WTF IS THIS LOUD SHITTY 80'S MUSIC"
>laugh
>they never noticed me

Next saturday will be Feel Good Inc, Earrape edition.

Bump

Kek, great story, OP. Very nice taste of music too, btw.

you should play some sun ra for them

>be me
>in school
>columbine was about 3 months ago
>school stepped up security
>cameras everywhere
>staff really sensitive
>bomb joke can land you into detention
>someone even got expelled
>have nemesis
>he's the most notorious bully
>one day he bullies me
>i say "I'll strangle you if you don't stop."
>he says "bitch i got a gun on me you wanna fight you gay-ass bitch"
>janitor notices his threat
>he calls a teacher
>teacher takes him away
>janitor tells me "Nobody expects the spanish inquisition."
>he's mexican

> be 18
> meet cute girl at friend's party
> she's all over me for some reason
> some of the stuff she says seems sketchy, like looking for a soulmate and shit
> whatever, she has great tits and im drunk as balls
> fuck yeah she starts making out with me
> we look for some privacy
> yeah laundryroom seems fine
> gives me a bj
> takes off her panties and says she wants it
> we start to fuck
> pretty tight, not a virgin but watev shit is cash
> start slamming her
> she wraps her legs around me and begs me to cum inside
> not sure if want
> she says she's on the pill
> fuckyeah.jpg
> splort inside, feels good man
> after I pull out she starts pushing jizz back into her pussy
> seems hot but I'm like wat
> she tells me she was lying about being on the pill
> wants to get pregnant so I'll stay with her forever
> I flip the fuck out
> Enter BEASTMODE
> Hit her in the stomach with a lightning screw uppercut
> It ails her uterus so hard it bursts
> She starts throwing up blood
> I autochain into a sick 45 hit combo
> She smashes through the laundryroom wall and onto some people at the party
> Channel my ki into Lv.3 Final Crusher Blast
> Obliterates the house
> No survivors
> 1200 xp. Style S+ Skill S+ Damage S+
> Fuck given rating 0.0%

>be me long ago
>10
>fascinated by ants
>have brother
>huge jerk
>keeps dancing weirdly in my face while shouting "ANTS IN MAH PANTS GOT ANTS IN MAH PANTS"

>fast forward to june long time ago
>have 3 ant nests
>1 of them keeps trying to escape
>get idea
>put the ants in my brother's pants while he showers
>he comes out of the shower
>he puts on pants
>"This was a great shower, ahh-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH WHAT THE FUCK"
>ants were stinging him
>blame it on my little sister

>watch video about touch powder
>make touch powder mixture
>pull out a tile from the sidewalk of neighbor's house
>spread mixture over stone
>let it sit for 6 hours
>look at it
>"not good yet"
>let it sit for a month

I had my reasons.
>neighbor's daughter is 5/6 years old
>fully able to feel pain
>very sensitive
>memory fully developed
>severely injured my cat because "dogs are better"
>cat was dying
>had to be put to sleep

>touch powder ready
>they replaced the tile
>pull out a tile
>place touch powder tile
>place security camera looking at the tile
>recording

This is for you, Tux.

did she died?

Not yet my friend.
Not yet...

Even if she didn't died, she'll be mentally scarred. Maybe even PTSD.

bump

when was this?

I planted the tile a day ago.

Bump

Since you like The Gorillaz, here's a present.

Checked myself. Here's another one.

just checking

Actually made me chuckle

forrest bump

Old greentext but gets me each time.

>be me
>5
>play with pet rock
>sister comes
>she has a hammer
>she smashes pet rock
>gather all pieces
>make a grave for rocky

>ff to 2 months later
>keep gathering rocks
>build elaborate trap
>place it in her room
>sis walks in room
>rocks fall on her
>knockout

Who's the artists

here ya go OP

I'd give her my noodle, if ya know what I mean

slugboxcreatureart on Tumblr.

>on a drawing website
>do some code
>draw this
>code breaks website
>you can now only view that post
>post is named garx
>post is famous

bump

>walk to the something
>blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
>i'm drinking too much blah blah
>blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
>i'm feeling really blah blah
>i want to blah blah blah
>and in the end it means i blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
>the end

rockit

bump

what is touch powder?

bump 2

check the image

Why would you bother typing that out

that doesnt tell me much.

what

Search up "touch powder king of random". It'll show up.

checked
Quints story.
>get quints
>thread was roll for suicide
>it didn't include quints
>didn't have to commit suicide

kek'd

Gorillanon (OP) here, I'm gonna let this thread die. Bye.

...

Bump