ITT: Greentext stories >be me >gorillaz fan >live in a nice little house >sucessful job >there are teenage girls next door >they play horrible songs such as "juju on that beat" and party every saturday
>ff to yesterday >girls playing "sweatshirt" by jacob satorius >grab laptop >make earrape version of "Clint Eastwood" by the gorillaz Many computers have a thing where you can connect to devices wirelessly and play music and other things. My laptop turns out to have that too. >they have wireless speakers >connect to speakers >play "Clint Eastwood" earrape edition >screams come out of house >"WTF IS THIS LOUD SHITTY 80'S MUSIC" >laugh >they never noticed me
Next saturday will be Feel Good Inc, Earrape edition.
Lucas Kelly
Bump
Jeremiah Green
Kek, great story, OP. Very nice taste of music too, btw.
Brody Williams
you should play some sun ra for them
Luke Richardson
>be me >in school >columbine was about 3 months ago >school stepped up security >cameras everywhere >staff really sensitive >bomb joke can land you into detention >someone even got expelled >have nemesis >he's the most notorious bully >one day he bullies me >i say "I'll strangle you if you don't stop." >he says "bitch i got a gun on me you wanna fight you gay-ass bitch" >janitor notices his threat >he calls a teacher >teacher takes him away >janitor tells me "Nobody expects the spanish inquisition." >he's mexican
Matthew Stewart
> be 18 > meet cute girl at friend's party > she's all over me for some reason > some of the stuff she says seems sketchy, like looking for a soulmate and shit > whatever, she has great tits and im drunk as balls > fuck yeah she starts making out with me > we look for some privacy > yeah laundryroom seems fine > gives me a bj > takes off her panties and says she wants it > we start to fuck > pretty tight, not a virgin but watev shit is cash > start slamming her > she wraps her legs around me and begs me to cum inside > not sure if want > she says she's on the pill > fuckyeah.jpg > splort inside, feels good man > after I pull out she starts pushing jizz back into her pussy > seems hot but I'm like wat > she tells me she was lying about being on the pill > wants to get pregnant so I'll stay with her forever > I flip the fuck out > Enter BEASTMODE > Hit her in the stomach with a lightning screw uppercut > It ails her uterus so hard it bursts > She starts throwing up blood > I autochain into a sick 45 hit combo > She smashes through the laundryroom wall and onto some people at the party > Channel my ki into Lv.3 Final Crusher Blast > Obliterates the house > No survivors > 1200 xp. Style S+ Skill S+ Damage S+ > Fuck given rating 0.0%
Adrian Myers
>be me long ago >10 >fascinated by ants >have brother >huge jerk >keeps dancing weirdly in my face while shouting "ANTS IN MAH PANTS GOT ANTS IN MAH PANTS"
>fast forward to june long time ago >have 3 ant nests >1 of them keeps trying to escape >get idea >put the ants in my brother's pants while he showers >he comes out of the shower >he puts on pants >"This was a great shower, ahh-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH WHAT THE FUCK" >ants were stinging him >blame it on my little sister
Kevin Reyes
>watch video about touch powder >make touch powder mixture >pull out a tile from the sidewalk of neighbor's house >spread mixture over stone >let it sit for 6 hours >look at it >"not good yet" >let it sit for a month
I had my reasons. >neighbor's daughter is 5/6 years old >fully able to feel pain >very sensitive >memory fully developed >severely injured my cat because "dogs are better" >cat was dying >had to be put to sleep
>touch powder ready >they replaced the tile >pull out a tile >place touch powder tile >place security camera looking at the tile >recording
This is for you, Tux.
Jonathan Smith
did she died?
Luis Lewis
Not yet my friend. Not yet...
Adrian Cooper
Even if she didn't died, she'll be mentally scarred. Maybe even PTSD.
Julian Gutierrez
bump
Landon Collins
when was this?
Parker Butler
I planted the tile a day ago.
Leo Cruz
Bump
Thomas Reed
Since you like The Gorillaz, here's a present.
Carter Myers
Checked myself. Here's another one.
Easton Rivera
just checking
Noah Mitchell
Actually made me chuckle
Jonathan Edwards
forrest bump
Jackson Long
Old greentext but gets me each time.
Dominic Jones
>be me >5 >play with pet rock >sister comes >she has a hammer >she smashes pet rock >gather all pieces >make a grave for rocky
>ff to 2 months later >keep gathering rocks >build elaborate trap >place it in her room >sis walks in room >rocks fall on her >knockout
James Wright
Who's the artists
Hunter Bell
here ya go OP
Josiah Cox
I'd give her my noodle, if ya know what I mean
Chase Gonzalez
slugboxcreatureart on Tumblr.
Levi Myers
>on a drawing website >do some code >draw this >code breaks website >you can now only view that post >post is named garx >post is famous
Benjamin Fisher
bump
Ayden Allen
>walk to the something >blah blah blah blah blah blah blah >i'm drinking too much blah blah >blah blah blah blah blah blah blah >i'm feeling really blah blah >i want to blah blah blah >and in the end it means i blah blah blah blah blah blah blah >the end
Brayden Smith
rockit
Ayden Baker
bump
Nicholas Taylor
what is touch powder?
Connor Bailey
bump 2
Charles Anderson
check the image
Angel Butler
Why would you bother typing that out
Ethan Russell
that doesnt tell me much.
Jace Rivera
what
Carter Cook
Search up "touch powder king of random". It'll show up.
Kevin Johnson
checked Quints story. >get quints >thread was roll for suicide >it didn't include quints >didn't have to commit suicide
Aaron Mitchell
kek'd
Luke Sanders
Gorillanon (OP) here, I'm gonna let this thread die. Bye.