Kids are asleep. It's LOTR time

Kids are asleep. It's LOTR time.

>tfw you never live in The Shire

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I would've liked to had lived in Rohan, but Hobbiton would've been nice too.

post theme music
youtube.com/watch?v=Om_BKWttz18

will they ever release a fixed version of the ee blu ray of fellowship? as it is now, the colors are fucked up to the max

lotr/Tolkien threads are always welcome.
Like a cool breeze on a warm day.
>You'll never go exploring across unknown wilderness with your bro smoking dank weed and visiting village inns and drinking with locals

Hobbiton seems more low-key. I'm pretty sure 99% of jobs in Hobbiton are farmers/merchants. In Rohan you could at least be a blacksmith or work with horses or a soldier.

>tfw even if the shire was real you couldn't live there because you're not a manlet

das it mane, good stuff

You mean the blue filter? Yeah, it's definitely fucking retarded.

well you could but you might develop some back and neck issues

yea there's some way to rip the blu ray and fuck with it on your computer but i'm not good at doing those kinds of things

can any kind user tell me is there a decent torrent of a color corrected version that's at least 10 gb?

>Eowyn runs away from Wormtongue
>runs outside onto the steps of the hall
>this starts playing
>Rohan's flag is ripped from it's pole and goes flying into the wind

Pure kino.

>You will never smoke casks of weed and drink pints of ale in the flooded ruins of Isengard

just cast me right in the fire

>ruins of Isengard
Felt really comfy for some reason

I read somewhere the flag rip was not planned and they just kept it because it was cool

>tfw you've George Lucas'd your legacy

either way it's a great visual metaphor, and really sets the tone for the confrontation inside the throne room.
But it would be interesting if it was actually accidental

Thousands of cavalry. Ruled by a "city" with a population under 200.

for some reason I heard the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme when I watched this webm

It's called feudalism bro. A bunch of lords pledge loyalty to the king, and then in times of war they show up. Especially since it is in all of their common interest to protect their land

Actually, I kinda did. I live five minutes walk from Moseley Bog where Tolkien spent time as a kid imagining the world. It's a nice place (despite the name) to walk the dogs but it's also just got this very special feeling, I can understand why he was inspired by it.

Those lords probably have bigger houses than the king. Edoras looks more like some frontier hillfort than the capitol of a kingdom.

I swear, one of these days I'm gonna fly to NZ and go to the set and take a nap on top of Bag End under the huge tree

>What is the house of Rohan but a thatched barn where brigands drink in the reek and rats roll on the floor with the dogs? The victory at Helm's Deep does not belong to you, Théoden, horsemaster! You are a lesser son of greater sires

‘Gibbets and crows!’ he hissed, and they shuddered at the hideous change. ‘Dotard! What is the house of Eorl but a thatched barn where brigands drink in the reek, and their brats roll on the floor among the dogs? Too long have they escaped the gibbet themselves. But the noose comes, slow in the drawing, tight and hard in the end. Hang if you will!’

>Saruman says this to Theoden as an insult
>In the movie depiction it's fairly accurate

Bravo Jackson

wtf i hate wizards now

The LOTR trilogy is still a masterpiece. Nothing can change that.

Does The Hobbit trilogy fucking suck? Yes. But, it doesn't diminish the GOAT trilogy.

Baruk Khazâd. Khazâd ai-mênu!

What's it like?

What the fuck was his problem?

He was a degenerate

>all has turned to vain ambition, he would even use his grief as a cloak!

He was gay for his son. Why else would he lube up?

Honestly Denethor is a pretty complex character. He is a huge dick, especially to Faramir, but he essentially sees his legacy being destroyed right in front of him. His family has ruled Gondor for generations and deep down he fears being supplanted by Aragorn.

Boromir was his eldest and his heir, and he gets killed. In the books Faramir is essentially a student of Gandalf, and Denethor probably feels some paternal jealousy, and sees Faramir as soft for not being as great of a warrior as Boromir.

Then to top it off Sauron has been using a Palantir to corrupt his mind. He basically convinces him that he needs the One Ring in order to withstand Sauron's invasion. His mistake is not understanding that Sauron is manipulating him, an just wants the Ring to get into Denethor's hands because it will destroy him and make it easier for Sauron to get it back

JRR Tolkien was the master of his own fan fiction.Thank God we got his son to fill us in on all the minor plot points that weren't covered.

>his own fan fiction

His own ideas are fanfiction?

The palantir stuff was explained in the book.

All of that stuff is in Return of the King

is there anything known about what the blue wizards did far east? always found it odd tolkien expanded on all the Istari except those two.

Actually I do (Matamata), and it's really not worth it. It's a quiet, deadbeat Kiwi Rural Town. Exactly like the Shire.

Where they filmed it is one of the windiest places in NZ. It's so windy it blew away Peter Jackson's glasses. He had to squint the entire time he was filming there.

Good luck. The Security there is better than our Prime Minister gets.

the whole trilogy was comfy as fuck
i could watch it for the twelfth fucking time and it would be comfy

They fuck him up in the movie

I'm sure it's quiet and the nature is nice, but it probably lacks all the charm. It's the inhabitants that make a place worth living in.

>live in Bree
>man sized everything
>plenty of opportunity for work
>Shire is close enough to take a horse over and enjoy their ales, hobbit wimminz and glorious woodland
Best of both worlds, desu.

You'd be completely right. No charm there. Most of the inhabitants are used to fleecing tourists for money.

>Matamata
what a garbage name for such a nice place.

I think they went East to do some type of covert stuff against Sauron's allies/influence.

Will any movie ever come close to the amazing use of practical effects in this movie?

Is it even possible for any fantasy movie to ever come close to this wonderful adaptation of the grandfather of modern fantasy?

This map is terrible

All the maps outside of the ones that only show ME are terrible

So LotR still has dragons right? They just hang out in some uninhabited region and dont fuck with anything outside of it?

Grey Mountains are infested with Cold Drakes.

They are flightless though, aren't they?

He was a Game of Thrones character in the wrong setting

Yes.

>numenor is literraly a star shaped island
BRAVO TOLKIEN!

Well it was made by the gods as a reward for mankind so why not?

I think he's making a Star of David reference.
Because when one thinks of a race that uses steel longbows they think of Jews

even the sets on the hobbit looked like shit. what a travesty

But the dwarves are the jews

>that perfectly square mountain range around Mordor
0/10 wouldn't run a campaign in

these maps evoke such a desire for adventure in me

They went east to sabotage Sauron's plans there.
According to Tolkien's notes they did such a good job that if they hadn't been there Sauron would have just flooded ME in bodies and the heroes would have lost even if Sam and Frodo succeeded.

Run a campaign as a barbarian since clearly you wouldn't be playing a character with intelligence

Sauron Himself rose those. They're not natural.

It's supposed to be a craggy plateau, there's just no good way to get that across on a map without it looking like a Super Mario World zone.

If I ever become super rich I'll fund a miniseries about the downfall of numenor, with viggo mortensen as Elendil

He presented himself to Sauron through a Palantir and went mad

>tfw you'll never lay with a qt elf in the evergreen grass of the shire

just shoot me

>Orlando Bloom did

Its tobacco you dumb piece of shit.

it's actually pipe-weed you fucking half-wit

In the prologue to The Lord of the Rings, Tolkien stated specifically that "it is a strain of the herb nicotiana",[2] i.e. tobacco

This senpai

Strain of dank shire weed

kys fucking useless degenerate

man i just want to live in a place like that, calm and peaceful landscapes, i don't even care if i become segregated

The card game captures the lotr feeling really well, would recommend

The trading card game is better I think

Never played, but then I got the lcg for playing solo.
War Of The Ring is fantastic too but its a big deal to get someone out to play at times.
The confrontation is brilliant being so simple to set up and play.

>hobbit wimminz
no no no no

I'd bang Rosie Cotton. Once she had a taste of full size dick she could never be satisfied with Sam

I no joke live 30 mins from the shire, i worked there once too

>not playing the goat strategy battle game

pics

does it kill the fantasy to go there? seeing it in real life can never live up to it I imagine

It is pretty much exactly like it is in the film, all the props and buildings are still there in full. Im sure visiting it for the first time is pretty cool, but you soon realize its just a massive tourist trap with a HUGE giftshop , but the 400 japanese tourists a day still liked it.

Its pretty beautiful, growing up in the area however you kinda get used to that sort of landscape.

As kid, i found the hobbiton section of the books a slog. Now i dont want to leave it.

>hobbit women shave their legs
>don't shave their feet

I bet if Peter Jackson or smbd in hollywood would lay their dirty cuckhands on their story of those two they would turn one of the wizard female or make them gay couple. God I hate modern cinema.

I think they meant he's too vague on some points, to the point of bad writing, and therefore is basically asking for fanfiction. I think this is right.

>a hobbit babe will never bring you to climax with her size 15s

i feel so... defeated... like its all for nothing

More like a Soviet star. Looks like Tolkien hated Soviets as well as Hitler.

No it was truly the original Star wars trilogy of the generation what do they have now? Nothing

They couldnt have a cast a better Sauruman.

>be kid
>enjoy nature
>decide to go cycling on a whim even though the mother never allows me to leave the street I'm on
>cycling around, a beautiful summer just doing whatever
>come across a bunch of chavs sitting on a fence drinking
>"user YOU DEMENTED TWAT"
>feel like an idiot and a lamer for enjoying life
>cycle back
>never do it again

Call me a nuright Sup Forumstard, but I kind of wish we lived in a society where plebs were terrified, meek and humble.

You are pathetic

ELF'D