What should I do? I can't get these to open

What should I do? I can't get these to open.

bite them by the line, they should open

ok that worked for one but now the other two are just wet.

>Meditate
>Meditate to a level only the highest Yogis can achieve
>Cross that point
>Become a transcendent being
>Become one with the pistachios
>Merge your soul with them
>Feel them from the inside
>Feel the small crack from the inside
>Expand you soul further
>Let your body move
>Grab a hammer
>Let your body smash the union of mind of pistachios
>Eat the pistachios and achieve a union of pistachios and body
>Feel fulfilled

your nuts, or as most people here spell it: you're nuts

squish them together in your hand

The smashing didn't work. The pistachio just turned into a bunch of pieces. How do I open the last one with out destroying it.

use teeth

if its cracked stick a knife into and turn the knife. like you are turning a key

this

also if for whatever reason you dont have a knife. use the shell of another pistachio to do the same thing

>Become one with the pistachios

Throw them away. There are plenty of others that will cooperate.

but there is not a crack in the shell

stick it in your pooper!

pistachio in pooper

use pliers and squeeze slowly

do you have a utility blade? you can hold it up and cut down.

You have to activate them.

>this
incubate in pooper overnight.

/thread

mfw this thread

Confirmed works

>You are a sad little man...

yes many a pistachio nut opened up after anal incubation

I will try the incubation

we will expect a nut anal incubation results thread tomorrow user

...

Get one half of the shell and stick it in the whole of the pistachio and turn

Don't eat them - if they don't open while roasting,there is something wrong with them - same as with mussels

But what if it opens after incubation?