How can I get life in prison without hurting anyone? I've decided I'm too dumb and lazy for college or to get a job and prison is basically free college nowadays.
I don't want to hurt anyone, just want to get in there and get all the free shit for the rest of my life. I'm a 35 year old virgin Neet with no friends so I have nothing to lose.
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Steal $20,000 worth of anything
And look at that picture, not one white person to be seen. I say lets start gassing all the lifers and get them off the governments teet! This waste has got to stop. Life in prison=no chance for rehabilitation=fucking die already!
Identity theft will easily get you 3-10, steal someone's info and cc buy a bunch of shtt maybe you'll even get away with it and you'll reevaluate your situation and make a change in your life. You don't want to go out of this world with nothing to show for, no kids or no dignity.
Take the blame for an unsolved murder
I agree with user here, either way your life is better for what you want. Kind of mad you're taking my tax dollars but it's not like the government couldn't find some other dumb shit to waste it on.
Dude go sleep with prostitutes sell drugs and party it up and if you get caught fuck it you wanted to go to prison any ways.
Make a bomb that won't work. I'll be doing the same in a few years
this nigga gets it
do some hydrocodone.
seriously. shit made me forget my problems and i can still function.
and you could go to prison if you get caught
>prison
>free college
wat?
More like free high school equivalency diploma and a gaping asshole.
rob a bank, will solve your problems one way or another
This could work, but if it back fires he could wind up in a mental institution instead.
as one that's been to prison you do not want to go
but cp will do it.
>$10,000-20,000
>solved problems
More like pay rent for a year. Bank robberies don't score that much cash. Not even 1 year's pay at a half decent job.
it'll also get you mad disrespect from the inmates and you'll live a life of hell
Yeah, that way, you won't need a life sentence because you'll die of AIDS before getting out.
Plot to kill president. And put peanut butter in your ass and eat it when you see the judge
He can repeat it every time he runs out of money.
Why not just enlist?
Your fat autistic ass will be someone's bitch in a matter of weeks. You need people skills to survive in prison. By survive I mean live as well as you can in a prison. Your free meals will get taken by the niggers you piss off with your autistic tendencies. No freedom. Absolutely none. After a few days you will instantly regret your decision
This is the dumbest thing I've ever read. Get a fucking job instead.
you don't want to go to prison for any kind of pedo charges. They don't care if it was only internet porn. A pedo is a pedo to them in prison. They fuck pedos up. It's the worst thing to be in prison. #2 worst thing to be is a narc or an ex-cop.
They hate pedos more than cops.
Didn't he say he didn't wanna hurt anyone? War is scary, user.
Then he can work in supply or be a pencil pusher. Or, go Air Force.
Or join the French Army. no chance of hurting anyone and great chance of being a prisoner
just try to get into a state mental hospital, wipe shit all over yourself and run around with a knife
Because when he said he didnt want to hurt anyone he probably also meant brown people in third world countries?
see
Try frauding something or steal some expensive stuff.
PEACE CORPS
Don't pay taxes.
Purchase drugs online, deliver to your home.
Use drugs in public.
Trespass on restricted property.
If fined for any above, skip fines.
Bull, you'll be in a protected population. Other pedos won't hurt you. Prisons can't just let people be hurt or killed as they can be sued nowadays.
Just go to a shopping mall and remark on how pretty a little girl is in earshot of a cop
There is no need to get arrested.
Go to /r9k/ and find out how to get NEET bux.
You can get money from the government sufficient to pay rent in a small apartment, internet, and food. Then you can be a permanent loser and just jack off to internet porn all day like all the other losers on r9k.
That is until Emperor Trump cuts off your bullshit welfare and makes america great again.
Who is paying you to enlist internet dweebs?
TIL about master sergeant soup sandwich
its funny even in the corps one motherfucker would always leave his shit unsecured and we would all get fucked for it. good times
No one, I just know that he'd have a better life in the military than in prison. This coming from someone who washed out twice before he hit 20, and is permanently DQ'd from reenlisting.
Only faggs enlist nigger
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This
If you change your mind after you enlist there are ways out. It's not like we are in a war where they are drafting soldiers.
If you are sentenced to hard time you will quickly change your mind and there is no way out.
Yeah, life sentences seem ultimately redundant. They should either reduce life sentences, or give them death (and reduce the costs of giving the death penalty to individuals convicted of life).
>yfw france was part of one of the most bloody and important events in human history
They need to make a show that is battlebots vs. humans. Have prisoners fight robots. If they survive they earn their freedom. Give them silly weapons like a sledge hammer or a trident and a net.
that was over 200 years ago, get over it.