Paranormal thread. Post shit that has happened to you or shit you can't explain

Paranormal thread. Post shit that has happened to you or shit you can't explain.

The entire 2016 election. Explain that shit to me, Devil.

from the age of 8 - 13 I was molested at midnight by santa
santa is real and he has a 6in cock

...

Every night, around the same time, someone kicks my dresser. It's located behind me when I sit at my computer desk, so I always have to turn to see if anyone is there.

Fuck these ghosts. I'm tired of their damn shit.

People who believe in this shit are idiots.

>shit you can't explain

I love this fucking cop out. You can't explain gravity but you experience it every day.

i bet you're fun at parties

There's these ghosts that keep whispering in my brain how I need to kill hundreds. idk what it means

Gb2school

Oh yeah

Way more fun than that guy trying to tarot readings, telling everyone riri is in league with satan and the government is run by lizard people

my round earth is gonna keep spinnin bro while you waste your days trying to figure out shit that isnt even there

>things required to be fun at parties: outgoing, good sense of humor, good conversation, adventurous, energetic
>things not required to be fun at parties: bizarre theories and introversion

The fuck are you even implying?

...

Show them who's boss. I'm being serious.

>hey, been noticing you and was just wondering if youre a reptillian

>Not wanting to fuck with the druggies at parties by telling them conspiracy theories

this guy has never been to a party

Clairvoyance

>can't explain gravity
wut

> yesterday
> being 33yo
> wife sleeping upstairs
> me surfing Sup Forums, living room
> AC kicks in
> door shuts close

but it was a lie Sup Forums, I checked all doors cause I keep all doors open for circulation and all of them were open.

Check on wife, she still sleeping, wtf?

Literally shat my pants, I stopped browsing Sup Forums and headed straight to bed

Worked with a paranormal team in southern California for 6 years that has been featured on multiple tv shows and networks. Never once had a real experience or encounter. 99.999999% nothing ever happens. It's all bullshit and can be explained away if you are not a cock sucking faggot that will believe anything anyone tells you.

Sometimes I think shit then it happens so for a while I had a whole big brother complex like the world was set up ahead of time to deceive me

Masturbate while thinking about the ghost. They'll go away.

You can't explain gravity.

My old house was definitely haunted. Unless my whole family was tripping on drugs or they're all a bunch of liars, it's all true.

Was masturbating in the shower once when I heard a loud noise behind me, similar to when there's air stuck in the water faucet, but there was nothing to make that noise behind me. To this day I still believe it was a ghost that came in my ass.

The sun has long spindles that push the planets around the earth and the stars are fixed.
Checkmate Copernicus

>AC kicks in
There, that's what shut your door.

I also can't explain your stupidity.

I think he was saying he heard a door close, but when he checked none of them had been closed.

>what is the cosmic ballet
Mass=gravity ya dingus now stop making me reply to your distasteful b8

Also Galileo

years ago saw Clint Malarchuk get his neck sliced open by a skate at a St. Louis Blues home game. Not something anyone would ever forget, I could smell the blood.

Wikipedia says it happened in Buffalo. Never been there. WTF.

it was me

Depends on what you are willing to accept as basic truth. With enough ignorance you cant explain 2+2=4 either.

>be me
>be demon overlord
>hunting for souls as usual
>same spot as always
>long ass stretch of road in the middle of nowhere
>find two fat, middle aged men with guitars wandering the road
>reveal myself to them
>request that they sing me the best song in the world just to fuck with them
>they actually start singing
>fuckmyears.wav
>whip out my guitar mid song to try to mask the noise with my own music
>ask myself is this a new weapon used by angels to kill demons
>ask them if they are angels
>they respond with the most autistic and ear wrenching sound
>quickly disappear into the abyss to avoid getting my ears raped further
>cry demon tears of sadness

I like that analogy, user. Going to use that in my Intellectual toolbox.
I have no images to post, but

>mfw

Growing up there was a little angel doll thing in my bathroom that i found creepy so i would always hide it increasingly harder to find but it would always be in the same spot the next time i went in there.

I was divorced by a catholic.

this dubs waste
shame

Synchronicity. Basically when you think of some shit that you haven't thought of in a long ass time or something and then within a few hours - days some spook happens.

Had not seen an F40 in the wild and almost never think about it but on the day I did, one was just cruising down i95 when I got on.

Or when I thought about the Man Who Went to Malta and the bigass reasturant then next day read about a 2 story Maltan restaurant whose 2nd floor collapsed and killed some mofos.

thats some fuckin voodoo black magic shit

I've seen this happen with differing temperatures, creating air flow. What probably happened is that the uneven heating created enough wind for a door to hit the frame and make a noise, but not enough to close (which I've witnessed before).

you can't explain explanations

i was once sitting on the chair wacking off, picturing one of my girlfriend's blowing me, when i ejaculated, the semen flew vertically up, but it starts floating there and made an infinite sign for a few seconds, then it plopped back down on my thighs, was weird

No, never in my entire life.

I was raised in a barn.

>playing tee ball in elementary school
>kid hits the ball
>ball lands in the middle of the field and stops instantly, no bounce or roll

illuminati confirmed?

Some obia ting dem wah gwan