Please state the nature of the medical emergency

Please state the nature of the medical emergency.

My penis is not very feminine

To my knowledge, it isn't supposed to be.

B'Elanna bit my dick too hard again. I think it is bleeding this time.

I wish you two would be more careful in your sexual endeavors.

>ol' puj ass

It is not logical to assume this thread will last

REMEMBER WHEN TUVOK HAD A BEARD?

...

this is freaky

Mr. Tuvok, there's...something different about you.

have some hentai from the delta quadrant you cuck

Contraband. Get it off my ship.

Acute Alcohol Poisoning
Halp Doc....

Remember me?

I'm three people. Help

b'lanah, wtf are power couplings????

MY AN US IS BLEEDIING

Oh Fuckin great. She's back...

Sucks being you. Your hot gf died and you didn't get a shot at her replacement.

Drink less, ensign.

You're...back? Oh my. I'll have to introduce you to Seven.

Er....

Lie down on the far table there on your stomach. I'll deal with you after I deal with Kes.

IT'S GUSHING SO MUCH BLOOD

Doctor, I believe you have been taking liberties with some of your patients...

Oh for...

here, I'll put this in.

Whatever gave you that idea?

You called doctor?

im retarded doc, what do i do?

remember when he had a helmet

Yes. This is Kes. Say, "hello."

You're not retarded, you're just a Pakled.

Doctor, what is this strange feeling? Also, I've started to grow hair in some places...

Well, when this patient came in, all she had was a sprained ankle. This is hardly a suitable form of examination given the circumstances, Doctor.

You're becoming a man, Harry.

Believe me Seven, I know what I'm doing. I'm a doctor, not a pervert.

Am I a big boy now?

You know, Harry, you're not supposed to have intercourse with alien races that haven't been approved yet.
>This is why I always send you on those dangerous missions.

Which one of you assholes did this while I was asleep? I thought I banned sharpies from the ship

Doctor would you at least pick up a Tricorder or let me put on some clothing, it's been 6 hours now.

I made an owwie on my leg doc

I feel a constant burning sensation in my balls.

Just a little longer, Seven. "Adapt."

I swear, if you put another pair of tribbles in there, I'll do to you what they did to that little boy with a spoon in the 21st Century film, "Slumdog Millionaire."

Doctor, whilst looking through your notes about the Captain's medical history, I discovered this image, retrieved from leftover data in your holomatrix dream processors. Can you explain it's meaning?

Are you not gonna help me with my leg owwie you fucking nigger?

Ah yes. The day we had Chinese engineers on the ship.

THAT kind of language is unacceptable.

Thank you doc, this post made me chuckle

Very good.

Ah yes doctor, I found the log entry for the day in question. They all look rather familiar don't they? Poor Commander Tuvok looks almost bemused.

Doctor, my friend wants to know if they can spend the night

doc i want to ask out naomi wildman

who cares about the age gap

Doc, my stomach has felt funny ever since I had Neelix's special at dinner.

I CAN FEEL IT กิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิ ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ กิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิ ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ กิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิ ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ กิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิ ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ กิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิ ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ กิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิ ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้กิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิ ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ กิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิ ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ กิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิ ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ กิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิ ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ กิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิ ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้ ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ กิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิิ ก้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้

Doctor, Neelix told me you asked him to give me a physical is that true? and why did you tell him I had to put on a blindfold?

>

Well? Fucking heal me you space jew.

Do whatever you want (this is more of an admin. question), but just do it quietly.

Doc, I'm depressed. Life seems harsh and cruel. O feel all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain.

There ya go, fam

Doc the captain turned into a salamander again.

When will my freckles go away?

...

i think we need to turn her in to ships concubine

>we agreed not to talk about this again.

NONE OF THAT

Doctor, it seems the Borg Queen and I have become stuck again. The nanites seem to have a peculiar attraction to one another, what would you prescribe?

As someone who has watched Voyager 4+ times, 10/10, bravo, would enter thread again

We'll have to do to you what we did with Tuvix.

Glad to have you aboard.

Spasms of facial neuralg-

-neur-
-nnnn-

-Neuralgia.

...

I can't say I have much confidence in your plan Doctor, not after what happened on the first attempt...

Doc I found this wired creature in our cargohold.

reverse the polarity, obviously. one of them has to stop being a cyborg lesbian.

dat tail tho...

Thank you Doctor, I am no longer a lesbian. Nor am I attracted to men. However photons now seem much more interesting to me...

...

And just *where* are you looking?

That's odd... I seem to be in the wrong thread.

you think YOU'RE lost?

Doctor, in all this commotion, nobody ever got round to treating the patient who was three people at the same time!

My leg!!!

Who the...?

This is now my thread. All shall crumble before Caotica!

Sisko here to steal your bitches. Back from the dead motherfucker!

just what do you think you are doing. No one takes over this ship but me.

He's not the real Captain Sisko. The Sisko I know would never behave like this.

I think something may be wrong with the Doctor, he's stopped replying to this thread. We are diminished without him.

Oh shit! Your still alive! We should team up.

You should talk Changeling. The realms of the Prophets change a man.

Well, we've clearly made it back to the Alpha Quadrant, right on the border, to Deep Space Nine.

Well I suppose that makes me Chief Medical Officer

guess I'll take a look...not like i wasn't busy enough...

You know you love it. Andy Dick says hi.

Q put the starship Voyager in my Deltta Quadrant after ai antagonized it. Please leave... it's uncomfortable

I believe you are both obsolete.

We're back already? Let me take a quick look.

Sure do...

"Hentai from the delta quadrant".
Only one vagina and no penis.
I call bullshit.

...

Oh, come on, man. That's cold. I was just talking about you.

I don't really care which Doctor sees me, I'd just really, really like it if Commander Tuvok would let go now...

My sweat smells like ravioli. What do?

Doctor. That's not the real Sisko. He's from that dimension where Kira is gay. I need help. It turns out I'm not in the realm of the Prophets. I'm in Sup Forums. HELP ME!

Hi I'm Captain Archer of the Starship Enterprise and I appear to have mysteriously travelled through time again. Does anyone know where the Xindi are?

Alright, I admit it, but you shouldn't have come back.